Sunday Stealing #11

1. When you buy a greetings card are the words or the picture more important to you? Words

2. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them? I don't make gifts. I'm not very handy.

3. Are you going on holiday this year? If so, where? I am ringing in the New Year in Key West.

4. What was the best party you've ever been to? That little bash held in Grant Park on Election Day, Tuesday November 4.

5. If you are married, describe your wedding. If not, what would your ideal wedding be like? I've never been married. If I had wed, I'd want a small, intimate ceremony. City Hall wouldn't bother me.

6. What's the most romantic thing that's ever been said to you? "You have no idea what you mean to me."

7. What's your favorite romantic song? My answer to this changes. Currently it's a little-known Bette Midler song, "Every Road Leads Back to You."

8. Favorite heartbreak song? Likewise, the answer to this changes with my mood. Right now, "If Only You Knew" by Patti LaBelle.

9. Which celebrity would you like a dream date with? Jon Hamm. Don Draper from Mad Men. Sigh.

10. Which female celebrity do you find beautiful? Kerri Russell

11. Which male celebrity do you think is attractive? Jon Hamm. Don Draper from Mad Men. Sigh.

12. Describe the kind of underwear you normally wear. White cotton Hanes.

13. If you could be in a television sit-com, which would you choose? Cheers

14. Which character would you like to be? Rebecca, I guess

15. What are your favorite boy and girl names? Michael and Grace

16. What's your supermarket of choice? Dominick's/Safeway

17. What is your best character trait? I've got guts

18. What is your worst habit? I'm a slob

19. Elaborate on your default icon. If this blog is just "one gal's musings," then I think I should identify myself as THAT gal.

20. What is your current relationship status? Barren spinster

21. Ever have a near death experience? In September, I was almost creamed by a cab

22. Name an obvious quality about you? I'm very verbal

23. What’s the name of a song stuck in your head right now? "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

24. Name a celebrity you would marry. "Mrs. Clooney" has a nice ring to it

25. Do you like pain? No

For more about this blog, click here.

Happy Birthday to me, pt. 6

Tonight my friend John and I went to Shaw's Oyster Bar, where I had fried shrimp and a couple berry martinis. Then we went to see Four Christmases. Both the movie and the dinner were a lot of laughs.

Giving Judy a lot of thought

Earlier this week I received an email from a once-close friend who literally broke my heart. Click here for a short version of this sad saga.

I have decided to ignore her message.

It's not so much the incident that blew up our friendship that bothers me. What she did to me was painful and uncalled for, but it was 20 years ago. People can change and grow. At the time that our friendship ended, she was suffering from agoraphobia. She's married now (her last name is hyphenated). So I hope that she got therapy or perhaps spiritual guidance and has found herself on track to a more fulfilling life.

EXCEPT ...

Here's what her email said, in total: "A lot of time has passed--I never read your last letter-felt I would hear things I didn't want to keep in my head/heart. Interested in how you are."

My last letter, written 20 years ago when the incident was fresh, explained in no uncertain terms how hurt I was that she not only accused me of something I would never do, but also that she waited to kick me when I was down. It's bad enough that she threw it away unread, thereby denying me the right to be heard. It's worse that she felt the need to tell me she did it.

I know how it feels to hear things I "didn't want to keep in my head/heart." Like hearing her say that she believed I hit on her boyfriend, and somehow went behind her back to expose their clandestine relationship to her sister. (Her lover once slept with Judy's sister, who considered Judy's action a betrayal; I don't know all the details because, honestly, I wasn't involved.)

Judy made bad choices 20 years ago and blamed me when they blew up on her. Blamed me when I was frightened and bedridden when they blew up on her. I resent that, but I could get over it.

What I can't get past is that she still seems to be operating without concern for the feelings of others. I had a right to be heard -- a need to be heard -- by someone I trusted who hurt me. Yet even now it seems her "wants" still supersede mine.

I have a lot of flaws. I can be short-tempered, impatient and undisciplined. But I AM an involved friend.

What I don't have, to borrow from Carly Simon, is time for the pain. Or the drama that comes from being in the sphere of someone who apparently is still a little low on empathy.

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on this. It was good to take advantage of the objective sounding board this blog offers me. I'm genuinely grateful to each of you.

A timely Saturday 9

I wrote the post below before I saw the topic of this week's meme:

Saturday 9: How Do You Sleep

1. How long do you sleep each night? Six or seven hours

2. Do you fall asleep easily? Sometimes. If I have to get up early the next morning, I have a harder time going to sleep.

3. Do you fall asleep at times not in your bed? Last night, as a matter of fact.

4. Do you listen to music or use “white noise” to sleep? Yes. I often sleep with the TV on.

5. Do you sleep through the night or get up a couple of times? Once I go to sleep, I'm asleep.

6. Do you have trouble sleeping away from your own bed? Nope.

7. Do you need an alarm clock to get you up? Yes.

8. Do you ever take medication to help you sleep? No.

9. Do you/have you slept with pets? It's up to them. I don't know how they decide when or who gets to sleep on the bed with me over night. My girl cat, Charlotte, hates my big old gray tomcat, Joey, and refuses to be on the same piece of furniture with him, day or night.

Rewarded for dozing off

I fell asleep on the sofa again. Usually I wake up at about 3:30 AM, stumble off to bed, and wake up feeling most unrefreshed when the alarm goes off at 6:00. And I promise myself I'll never do anything so stupid again.

Until this morning.

Unbeknownst to me, at dawn on Saturday mornings, channel 5 runs a show called Open House Chicago, which is really an infomercial for fabulously expensive homes throughout the Chicagoland area. This morning they featured condos in a building I have really wanted to get inside of -- The Palmolive Building.

The Art Deco building was built in the 1920s and, when I was a kid, became The Playboy Building. When Hefner's daughter took over, one of her moves was sell this fabulous building and it was developed for condos. That's when it reinstated the original name. When Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston were a couple, they considered moving here. Today it's home to Cubs' skipper Lou Pinella.

It's right on North Michigan, so I bet all the views are terrific. The rooms obviously have huge windows and, I imagine, high ceilings. But I've never seen inside. Until today!

Hello, Gorgeous! Set-in bookcases, huuuuuge bathrooms and marble fireplaces. I am in love. It would be delightful to live in a building that welcomes me home with a beacon! I simply must win that lottery drawing tonight!

Top 5 on Friday Music Meme

Top 5 albums by classic rock artists

The Beatles White Album. There may be better Beatle albums, but none is more fun. Plus, the White Album and I share the same release/birth day.

Born in the USA. Bruce Springsteen. I'm ambivalent about this one, since it's the album that produced all the hits ... and took my Bruce and turned him into an arena concert star. No more up-close-and-personal, small venues after this. But I think its success is because it was the perfect convergence of artist, message and time.

Band on the Run. Paul McCartney and Wings. Sir Paul hits his solo stride. This CD sounds so great. The song transition is almost seamless and the production is terrific.

The Eagles Greatest Hits. All meat, no filler.

Still Crazy After All These Years. Paul Simon. "I Do It for Your Love" is one the sweetest, most underrated love songs in the history of recorded sound.

To play along yourself, or to see how other bloggers responded, click here.

Oh, this is rich!

During his sentencing, OJ Simpson tearfully told the judge that he was only in that Las Vegas hotel room to retrieve what was his. It was especially important to him that he be able to give his younger daughter something of her mother's that was "stolen."

Gee, like maybe HER LIFE? Oh wait! That's gone forever, you knife-wielding maniac. (Actually I think it was a ring.)

I know that today's sentence legally and morally must be limited to Simpson's activities in that Vegas hotel room. That's why I'm glad I'm not the judge. I could never overlook those bloody dogprints in front of Nicole Brown's home.

See you in maybe 9 years, Juice.

Make your click count!

Click here for an easy and free way to help fund mammograms for those in need at The Breast Cancer Site!

Now, Court, aren't you proud of me?

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #95 -- CARING FOR CRITTERS OVER THE HOLIDAYS

13 WAYS
TO KEEP PETS SAFE
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

I don’t usually repeat TTs, but this topic is timely and important, so we’re revisiting it.

In order to keep it fresh, I have added the photo of Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido. When you consider how rare photography was back in the 1860s, I think it’s remarkable that a portrait of Lincoln's dog was even taken. Fido was a much-loved mustard-colored mutt, who unfortunately never made it to the White House. The President-elect was sadly aware of how frightened Fido was by loud noises and trains, and since the trip from Springfield to Washington would be made by train, he reluctantly decided it was kinder to Fido to leave him behind. So the dog made his second home with a neighbor who, while helping the Lincoln’s remodel their home, developed a rapport with Fido. The horsehair sofa you see Fido resting on went with him to the neighbor’s, as well. The Lincolns wanted to be sure Fido was comfortable in his new surroundings. When the President’s body was brought back to Springfield for burial, Fido returned briefly to the Lincoln home to help comfort the mourners, who were indeed happy to see him again.

And now, without further interruption, here are 13 holiday petcare tips:

1. When it comes to mistletoe, hang it high. If ingested, mistletoe may not only upset a tummy, it might even cause cardiovascular problems.

2. While poinsettias probably aren’t as deadly as once thought, they’re still not good for dogs and cats. They can still cause nausea and diarrhea – which can be hard on both you and your pets.

3. Turkey leftovers are not for pets. They can tend to be greasier than your dog or cat are used to, which can cause indigestion. And poultry bones splinter too easily to be safe.

4. Keep chocolate off limits! It’s not good for cats and positively dangerous for dogs because it contains theobromine.

5. Candy wrappers aren’t any good, either. Aluminum and cellophane can appear irresistible to curious critters (like my bundle of feline energy, Reynaldo), but if swallowed, they can cause tummy troubles and intestinal blockage.

6. Ditto for tinsel.

7. Make sure your tree is securely anchored. This one comes from my mom. One night, when we were all asleep, our beloved family cat Tommy decided the Christmas tree simply needed to be climbed and he toppled it. That’s when she began running a bit of fishing line between the tree and a small hook in the wall. It’s almost invisible, but it does the trick!

8. Pets and tree stands. Every year, dogs all over the country suffer tummy troubles and occasionally even sores in their mouths from lapping up the water at the base of Christmas trees. It happens to cats now and again, too, so all pet owners should be careful.

9. Watch your pets when company arrives and leaves. Those open doors can be awfully tempting. I know, because Reynaldo is always ready to make a run for it. (Fortunately, I live on the fourth floor and until he can figure out how to use the elevator, there’s really nowhere for him to go. Besides, once out in the hall, he just calls me to join him. He seems to want us to run away from home together.)

10. Keep your pet in a quiet place during holiday parties. A lot of guests can mean a lot of stress for your dog or cat. Plus you can’t be sure that every invitee (especially the young ones) knows how to be gentle with your pet. A quiet bedroom is often the perfect place for your pet to spend a party.

11. Be careful in your garage! If you decide to keep your dog or cat in the garage during a party, make sure that it’s warm enough, and that there aren’t antifreeze spills. Antifreeze is positively deadly.

12. Keep an eye on your garbage, too. Ribbons, leftovers, candy wrappers … your trash can be filled with dangerous – but irresistible – stuff this time of year.

13. Be careful when you start your car. There are lots of sad strays out there, looking for warmth. And there are still plenty of cat owners who refuse to see the wisdom of keeping their cats indoors. So to make 100% sure that you don’t hurt a cat when you start your car, hit the hood or honk the horn before you turn the key.

Now let's enjoy a safe holiday season!

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Sigh. This is all so complicated.

I hated high school. It was the 70s, after all. Welcome Back, Kotter was popular on TV, "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree" went gold, we lost in Viet Nam, Nixon resigned over Watergate, my parents' marriage was unraveling. They even tried to make me read Moby Dick! How could anyone be happy under such miserable circumstances?

Of course, life is never all bad. And when I look back on those unhappy days, I can recall some bright spots. I had one really good friend. Judy. She was smarter and geekier than I was, therefore I didn't have to hide my smarts or my geekier tendencies. Hanging with her was a relief.

Between the ages of 15 and 30, we were very close. She wasn't easy to be friends with, since she suffered from agoraphobia, but her intelligence and artistic tendencies made her worth any inconvenience.

Until 1987. More than 20 years ago. Judy was dating a photographer, an older guy (considering that she and I are both 51, right about now he must be ... dead). This guy was a recovering alcoholic who had briefly slept with Judy's sister. (HEY! I warned you this was complicated!) She asked me to try to get him a job with my employer, a haircare company that paid for a lot of product photography. While he and I were discussing this on the phone, the conversation got very personal but not (at least not in my eyes) inappropriate. He never followed up, never called any of the numbers I gave him. I thought he wasn't interested in the work and that this episode was over.

Fast forward several weeks -- I had just had some female-type surgery. I'd never had any type of procedure before and was frightened. When I got home, I was supposed to stay in bed and off my feet completely for 24 hours. THIS was when my close friend chose to confront me. When I was home, when I was scared, when I was supposed to stay off my feet. THIS is when she decides to ask me why I hit on her boyfriend.

Huh? What? Not, "Did you come on to my boyfriend?" Not, "John thought you were flirting with him, isn't that crazy?" No, she asked me why I hit on her boyfriend. He told her I did it, so it had to be true

After 15 years of friendship, of Christmases and birthdays, of late night phone calls and confidences, she just automatically accepted his word over mine. And waited until I was uncomfortable and scared to confront me. I was sooooo angry I couldn't stay still. As we argued, I paced, and hemorrhaged, which set back my recovery by a day or two.

I wrote her a letter telling her I never wanted to hear from her again, and why. And I never did.

I saw her on a train once, years later. She gestured to me across the car and I shook my head "no" and that was it. I did not want to speak to her.

This morning, I received the following email from her:

"A lot of time has passed--I never read your last letter-felt I would hear things I didn't want to keep in my head/heart. Interested in how you are."

I don't know what to do with this. I don't miss her but I am curious as to what motivated her to Google me and track me down after two decades. I also wonder why she felt it was important to tell me she never read my letter.

Receiving her email made me reflect on Me at 30 vs. Me at 50. I don't see any value manufactured dramas -- like the entire "How could you hit on my boyfriend?" scene -- anymore. I have learned that life throws enough drama our way without us creating additional tumult.

An idea stolen from Kwizgiver

10 things I'd like say to 10 different people right now:

10) You don't fool anyone when you try to conceal your boredom by yawning through your nose.

9) I love you, but let's face it, we annoy each other. I want to enjoy my vacation without tension. That's why I'm staying in a hotel instead of in your guestroom.

8) Hello, Geek Squad? I don't care what it costs, just please come over and hook up my new DVD player. It feels like it's taunting me.

7) Please don't say, "through no fault of my own" anymore. Some of your problems actually are your fault.

6) Here's the message I really wanted to write on your Christmas card: "You poor thing! You had the worst 2008 of anyone, anywhere, so 2009 just has to be better."

5) Yes, I've gained weight.

4) You're the last one I think of at night and the first one I think of each morning.

3) That's OK. I don't mind not being able to sit down in front of my locker. It's far more important that your water bottle and iPod be comfortable.

2) Sometimes I'm glad I'm old and am no longer expected to be hip.

1) I'm scared. Can I have a hug?


To compare your answers to Kwizgiver's, click here.

It worked for me

Zicam. Specifically the rapid-melt lozenges. The cold that left me feeling so achey and stuffy on Sunday is virtually gone on Tuesday.

On celebrity worship

Behold my beloved future Hall of Famer, Greg Maddux. I adore him.
I have followed his career for more than two decades. I have memorized his stats. He has won more Gold Gloves at his position than any other pitcher in MLB history. He has more than 300 wins and 3000 strike outs (I was privileged to be there on that rainy night for #3000). He wears a Mickey Mouse watch when he pitches because his little girl gave it to him. He has a celebrity golf tournament each year to raise money for The Greg and Kathy Maddux Foundation, which helps children and families in distress. I have also heard many a less publicized tale of him donating signed baseballs and his (very good) comp baseball tickets to raffles, etc. (I have not heard these stories from the Maddux camp, but instead from charities that have benefited and recommended that if you have a good cause that ties to kids, you should contact him.)

He is supposedly ready to retire. Detractors have said that he has played too long, gotten out of shape, and even that he has "a pear-shaped ass like a fat grandma." I am so besotted that I even find his Pillsbury Doughboy physique a positive, for it tells me that unlike Cheater McCheaty Pants Clemens, Greg Maddux has never used steroids.

In short, I am near blind with looooooooooove.

That would be "near blind." I know he is not perfect. There is a You Tube video of him spending entirely too much time "adjusting himself" in the dugout on a day he wasn't playing. (No link. You naughty readers have to go look it up yourself.) I know he he didn't realize he was on camera but he did know he was in public. He has a remarkably vulgar sense of humor for a man of 40+ and has been known to find it funny to fart in front of reporters and pee on other players in the shower. He's nicknamed "the Professor" for his encyclopedic knowledge of the hitters he has faced, not for his ability to compare and contrast the diplomatic styles of Madeline Albright and Condoleeza Rice.

So what is my point here?

Yes, I have one, and it's this: By the time we reach middle age, we should be able to admit that celebrities we adore are just that -- celebrities we adore. Fantasy figures. People that are imbued with talents we admire.

It doesn't mean they are perfect. We should be able to accept that.

There's an online debate raging about a pop singer who may or may not have behaved badly last week on a morning news/talk show. I am alternately amused and disgusted by the response of his fans. "He would NEVER do that." That would mean that the parents of seriously ill children are spreading rumors about him, which I find hard to believe. I'm sure that with all they are dealing with, they have better things to do, so they must have been deeply offended by his behavior.

Or, "If he did, he had reasons." Now this singer is over 60 and does not appear in HSM. In fact, his fanbase is more familiar with HRT than HSM. His fans should be able to admit to themselves that he is capable of being rude, or taking his bad moods out on others, of being a shit on occasion, just like the rest of us.

I'm not using his name, nor the name of the charity and the kids he dissed, because I don't want his fans Googling the incident and then flocking here and asking me, HOW DARE YOU?

But I wonder -- when people suspend reality to this degree and defend someone they don't know, will never know, and who has most likely done something indefensible, what does this mean? Are their lives empty? What are they compensating for? When does one cross the line? Is when you stop worshipping, say, a future Hall of Famer and think you know him? Is this a new phenomenon among middle-aged/old women? Or has it been going on since women wept over the death of Rudolph Valentino?

My nephew's trip to the doctor

My 9-year-old nephew spent Monday morning consulting a pediatric neurologist, who examined him and his MRI and proclaimed that his headaches are migraines. This is a relief, since I have both migraines and an active imagination and was terrifying myself with visions of much more serious maladies.

The trick from here on out is to convince him to pop a pill, no matter where he is, at the first sign of headache pain. For my little nephew is at heart a man of action who waits until the very last moment to interrupt whatever he's doing to pee. It's going to be hard for him to stop his fun to look for a water fountain and swallow a pill.

I'm grateful that we have a final diagnosis on the headaches and that it is, all things considered, a positive one. I'm also grateful that he had no idea how bad it could be -- his biggest concern about spending the morning with a neurologist was whether it would cause him to miss art class. As he gravely said to me recently as he presented with a magnet he painted himself, he loves his art.

Funny or sad? You be the judge.

You are looking at the interest my Chase checking account earned during the month of November.

Give Me Five Monday

I haven't played this meme in quite a while. Here goes!

Give Me Five items you purchased on Black Friday or over this past weekend for the upcoming holiday season.

I'm pretty much done with my shopping already ...

1) A boy's size 6 striped shirt at Old Navy for Troy, as my part in the local toy drive
2) Shirt boxes from Walgreens so I can soon begin my wrapping
3) Christmas stamps so I can mail my cards
4) A remote-control crane for my nephew (eToys)
5) Chocolate-covered graham crackers for me at Starbuck's, because I needed a burst of energy to finish writing out my cards

For more information, or to play along yourself, click here

Done! (Almost)

I wrote out 26 holiday cards this afternoon. Each one includes a personal message, and I was careful not to send any reference to Christ (in either card or stamp) to my non-believing friends, nor the cat card to my feline unfriendly friends. After all, the point of this tradition is to reconnect and show appreciation for the people in my life, not to proselytize.

But I am, at heart, a Christian cat lover, so here is the combo most people received. If you still haven't purchased your cards, let me refer to you the American Human site, where I got this little angel. I enjoy doing this so much. I hope that I never become too busy to take pen in hand and send holiday wishes. Also, I'm proud of myself for not giving in to my cold and being able to cross off at least one item on my "to do" list.

I haven't done the cards for my coworkers yet. I'm toying with passing those out in person. I picked up some teeny-tiny dark chocolate bars and am considering taping one to each envelope and distributing them on the day before the office Christmas party. It's more personal, and it will save me the cost of more stamps. Yes, this seems like a plan. Unless, of course, we're all let go before the Christmas party, in which case I'll have a dozen teeny-tiny dark chocolate bars to comfort me.

I'm dreaming of $3.5 million

Or I was, until just now.

Saturday's Lotto drawing was for $18.7 million. When I bought two tickets, I didn't imagine myself the sole winner. That would be greedy and unrealistic. No, I saw myself as a modest, multiple winner whose after-tax take was a modest $3.5 million. What was I going to do with this tidy sum?

• Pay off my condo
• Pay off my credit cards
• Get hardwood flooring for my living/dining room and hallway
• New flooring, countertops and cabinets for the kitchen
• New sink, toilet and wall tiles for my bathroom
• Add exposed brick to the dining room
• Shampoo the carpet in the bedrooms
• New window coverings
• Fresh paint for the whole place
• A credit card for my mom to use when she grocery shops
• I'd "adopt" (or sponsor) more shelter animals each month
• Savings bonds for some of my friends for them to have "just in case"
• Savings bonds for my niece and nephew to help pay for college
• A Rolex Oyster watch for my best friend
• A trip to New York with my oldest friend
• Invest the rest into my retirement accounts

I only got two numbers of six. Oh, well. I spent $2 for a fun fantasy.

Ah-Choo!

I feel shitty. I'm rundown, my head hurts and I can't stop sneezing. I had so many plans for today: Writing up my Christmas cards, straightening out my closet, laundry, putting up my tree ... I don't see much of that happening today. I just want to fill up on Tropicana OJ and become one with the afghan.

Because I still can, and because it feels good

A nearby grocery store hangs hearts on their Christmas tree, and each construction paper heart includes the holiday wish list of a neighborhood kid who either lives in, or attends specially-priced daycare at, our local children's home. I took 7-year-old Troy's "heart." Instead of toys, he wants a sweater. And so he shall have one. I picked up a green and blue striped sweater in his size from Old Navy. I'm also going to include a couple Hot Wheels cars in his gift package, because you really can't play with a Christmas pullover, can you?

Toy drives like this are important because all kids should be encouraged to dream and believe in the magic of the holidays. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it would be like to be young and not get anything fun and surprising at Christmas.

If you'd like to participate in a similar program, but don't know how to go about it, here's a link to the Today Show Toy Drive. It explains how you can contribute online, and how the toys collected are distributed to kids in all 50 states through "homeless shelters, children's group homes, schools, foster family services, domestic abuse shelters, Native American missions, military bases, hospitals, preschools, after school programs, and the Boys and Girls Clubs of America."

I understand if you're reluctant to give in these uncertain times. I'm afraid of losing my job and am looking for ways to tighten my belt. But charities are in a special bind when the economy is bad. Just when contributions are drying up, more people have a need for their services.

Also, it's fun to think of 7-year-old Troy opening a Christmas gift from a complete stranger and finding it contains just what he asked for.

Saturday 9 -- Just Like a Pill

Saturday 9: Just Like a Pill
1. What was the last pill you took? A multi-vitamin.
2. What time of day do you usually feel most energized? Late morning.
3. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom.
4. If you had a restaurant serve you a perfect breakfast, what would it be? Eggs Benedict and OJ. Or maybe steak and eggs. This is making me hungry ...
5. What did you do on Thursday? Dined at my sister's house with her family.
6. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? I have such plans for redoing this condo. All I need is the money!
7. What is your favorite TV commercial at the moment? The Slowskis, Bob and Karolyn, the Comcast turtles
8. Who would you'd be surprised to wake up and find in your bed? Someone who isn't one of my cats.
9. Who is your favorite 80’s band? The Go-Gos.

Friday 5

1. What’s a profession you believe to be overpaid? CEOs of US car companies. Private jets? In this economy? Puh-leeze!
2. Who’s a musician you believe to be overrated? Madonna. I'm not even sure she is a musician. I think of her as a traveling freak show.
   
3. What in your life could stand to be overhauled? My condo! I need to seriously start throwing things away. It could use a nice paint job. The kitchen and the bathroom are tragically old-fashioned. If I don't lose my job soon, I'm going to start saving/planning to do some of this through 2009.
4. What’s something interesting you recently overheard? That global warming has heated up the oceans, and that's why hurricanes now are so ferocious.
   
5. Who is the most overextended person you know? Kathleen springs to mind, because she is juggling a high-stress job, steering her kids through adolescence and shopping for colleges, a reading group, a marriage to a challenging (but lovable) man and yet remains a good, available friend to people like me.

To play along yourself, click here.

A little turkey, a lotta attitude

My 9-year-old nephew can be a sweet and very funny little person. But I have discovered that he can also be an abrupt little shit when he's playing Nintendo, which he was doing constantly before/after we ate on Thanksgiving.

He thought he lost his charger, but in reality he had left it at my mom's house and we returned it to him when we arrived at his house for Thanksgiving Dinner. At first he was excited about the holiday and had much to show me -- especially the placemats he had carefully made. During the meal he was well behaved and engaged. But from the moment his Gameboy was charged, he was lost to us, and made sure I appreciated how annoyed he was by my interruptions.

If I had been the only one receiving his scorn, I would have brought it to his parents' attention. But he was just as condescending and pointed with his own dad, so they're aware of it. I'm just the aunt, and there's only so much I can do.

Also, we get the results back from the neurologist next week, so I'm inclined to cut him slack. Because of his headaches, the little guy has been seen by two pediatricians, endured an MRI and a trip to this specialist. While all the doctors seem to believe that the cause of the headaches isn't life-threatening, it's hard not to worry. I know he's very concerned that he is going to hear that his terrible headaches are triggered by dairy. After all, he's just 9. To him, the worst thing that can happen is being told he can no longer have his favorite meal -- a grilled cheese sandwich and milk.

My 16-year-old niece was notably absent. She is spending this weekend with a friend's family at an indoor water park in Wisconsin. She enjoys her new-found freedom, but I missed her.

My mom read an article in one of the Chicago papers about problems at the advertising agency where I work. The first thing she said when she saw me was, "Happy Thanksgiving! I love you." She hugged me often. It took me by surprise. Since her illness earlier this year, our role reversal has been even more pronounced, so it was lovely to have her go all Mommy on me again. She observed that I have always had a hard time "being patient," so she realizes that waiting to see what happens at work must be hard for me. She's right. But I guess that's no surprise. Nobody knows you like your mom.

Aw, ain't they something?

I have so much to do today -- tons of housework, hostess gifts for my mom and sister (who are feeding me this Turkey Day), making myself presentable for Thanksgiving Dinner, getting over to my mom's by 3:30 ... And yet, here I am, still in my jams, developing carpal tunnel and watching The Sting.

There's a school of thought that Redford and Newman aren't really "ac-tors," thespians, as it were. But I must say I don't care. They are great movie stars, and when they fit their parts -- like they do here -- they are so charismatic I can't look away.

Technically they are better "ac-tors" and paid more attention to their craft than I think many high-brows give them credit for. I'm watching how they move in The Sting (Redford's rather athletic and watching him move is quite yummy) and can see that they remained in character for this still. Look at the body language -- even without having seen the movie, you can see which one is the brains and which is the brawn.

I am thankful for film because it's forever. Paul Newman may be gone but he will never be forgotten, no matter how old Redford gets we will always be able to watch him leap over railings and race el trains, and someday my 9 year old nephew will enjoy this movie as much as I always have.

Thursday Thirteen #94 -- Good bad TV

THIRTEEN THINGS
ABOUT
THE PEOPLE'S COURT

The worse the news gets, the more thankful I am for escapism. That's why I’m a connoisseur of crap TV – programs that are the intellectual equivalent of empty calories. Nowhere can you find more inconsequential programming than during the day, and currently my favorite daytime TV show is The People’s Court. When I’m sick in bed, it gives me something to look forward to. When I’ve got a day off from work, I always try to catch it. To borrow from Tom Cruise in Rain Man: Defendants! Plaintiffs! The People’s Court has it all! They make legal history every day, and I highly recommend it.

1) It is currently the most popular courtroom program with female viewers. (And that includes Judge Judy!)

2) The civil cases shown are resolved legally on the show. The judge’s ruling is binding.

3) The show’s researchers canvass courts to find interesting civil suits that have already been filed. They ask the litigants if they would allow their cases to be decided on TV.

4) The current judge, Marilyn Milian, has been on the TV bench since 2001. She is both the first woman and the first Hispanic to preside over this show.

5) She became a real-live judge in 1999, when she was appointed to the Miami Circuit Court by then Governor Jeb Bush.

6) I love the stuff she says when she’s angry. “I wouldn’t believe you if your tongue came notarized.” “Stick a fork in me, I’m done!”

7) She played herself on As the World Turns and The George Lopez Show.

8) Her baliff is Douglas McIntosh. He has been on the show as long as she has.

9) Curt Chaplin interviews the litigants as they leave the courtroom. In addition to the People’s Court, he also works as voice-over talent.

10) Harvey Levin is the guy who interviews the fans in Times Square and gets their opinions on the courtroom goings on. He’s a lawyer himself and now also hosts TMZ.

11) My unofficial observation is that most of the cases involve Good Samaritans who let friends and neighbors use their credit to get cell phones and then renege when the bills come in. So don’t ever do that.

12) Judge Joseph Wapner starred on the bench for 12 seasons and almost 2,500 episodes.

13) He was immortalized in the 1988 movie, Rain Man. The character of Raymond (Dustin Hoffman) was a big People’s Court fan and said, “10 minutes to Wapner.”

Happy Thanksgiving, TT'ers!

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About Nanowrimo

This month I have been writing a novel. Well, la-de-dah. Just call me Ernesta Hemingway (my tribute to a fellow Oak Parker). It's part of Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) and it's been great fun.

As a Nanowrimo participant, my goal is supposed to be 50,000 words by November 30. I am going to fall woefully short of that ambitious word count. But that doesn't mean it's been a waste. My novel-writing exercise has been good for me, as helpful as this blog has been in keeping my head (reasonably) clear. For my topic was paths not taken -- how my life would be at 50 if I married the men I thought I wanted so desperately. I have happily come to the conclusion that I am far better off now, and it's helped me remember that "alone" is just a downside to "independent," and for all that "alone" scares me these days (especially in this economy), "independent" is still the right path for me.

It also reminds me, wistfully, that one of the men I've been involved with is definitely the love of my life. He is a good man, with integrity and intellect. I miss the give-and-take with someone who is soooo much smarter and cooler-headed than I. But he was too emotionally remote and I know I couldn't be happy with a man who didn't share his heart as freely as his head. I have been involved with some shitheels in my life, but he was not one of them, and I hope wherever he is, he is happy and healthy because, in my way, I still love him very much.

Happy Birthday to me, pt. 5

This evening I met two friends at Barro, a Mexican restaurant. We caught up and celebrated my birthday with quesadillas and margaritas. One of my friends works for the Tribune and gave me the coolest gift -- the original press plate from the historic 11/05/08 Tribune front page.

I treasure the gift, but I'm kinda blue. None of us feels very certain about our professional futures.

Tuesday Tunes -- The Thanksgiving Edition

What musical things are you the most thankful for? My iPod springs to mind. Before that, my Walkman. Before that, a transistor radio and earpiece. (I never had a boombox.) I'd feel as naked leaving home without my tunes as I would leaving home without my pants. Like the website says, "without music, life would be a big mistake," and I'm thankful that technology allows me to carry it with me.

If you could say thanks to one artist/band who would it be and why? I'd thank Paul McCartney for providing the soundtrack of my entire life, but not in person. I never want to meet him. There's no way he could live up to the fantasy, the 40+ years of foreplay.

To play along yourself, or to see how others answered, click here.

I'm embarrassingly low-tech

More than a month ago, my ancient DVD/VCR player broke and I got a new one. It couldn't be hooked up to my retro cable box, so I went to Comcast and picked up a new one. I still couldn't figure out how to hook it up. So today I went to Circuit City and explained my plight. I was told that I didn't need a new TV, which was a relief because I like my current little TV. It works well and it fits perfectly atop the cabinet and I may be unemployed soon so I don't feel like spending money on a new set.

After looking at the DVD/VCR instruction booklet I showed him, the gentleman at Circuit City sold me some kind of connector thingie for about $40. I got home and fiddled and played and thought I was following the directions, and still can't get the three components to work in perfect harmony. If I want to watch DVDs on my TV (as opposed to on my laptop), I'll have to have Comcast come out and try to make sense of it.

I predict it will take the Comcast tech about 5 minutes and I'll feel very stupid.

I wish it wasn't like this

Yesterday, after we had dinner and birthday cake, my sister's family went home and my mom and I were alone together in her living room, just gabbing. At the top of the hour she used her Advair Inhaler.

She was very matter-of-fact about the procedure, but her hands shook and she looked so old. That hospital stay earlier this year took so much out of her. It makes me sad.

Happy Birthday to me, pt. 4

My friend Kathy took me out for a birthday breakfast at my favorite coffee shop. I had the 2x2x2 (2 eggs, 2 pancakes, 2 strips of bacon and 2 sausages). She had grits. We both had orange juice. Most of all, it was good to see here again. Her life has been tumultuous (losing her job, losing her health insurance, losing her apartment, losing her cats, moving in with her daughter's family -- who are also on the verge of eviction) and she's been out of touch. I'm thrilled that she remembered my birthday with all that she has going on in her life. I'm relieved that she's OK, and working with her kids to get back on her feet.

I also went through my mail and found a birthday card from Mary Sharon, a neighbor from my high school days. She was friends with my mother and I babysat her kids. (The oldest just turned 46!) She remembers my birthday (and my exact age) every year. This also means a lot to me.

Have I mentioned that I love my birthday?

Sunday Stealing #10

Sunday Stealing: The Favorite Meme

Fill in your favorite for each of the following:

1. Political show: Hardball

2. Picnic food: Potato chips

3. Mixed drink: Cranberry juice and vodka

4. U.S. President: JFK

5. Kind of student to teach: I don't know how to answer this, as I've only ever been a student

6. Hobby you do or wish you still did: So many! The first ones that come to mine are learning to play an instrument or speak another language.

7. Sports commentator: Cubs legend Ron Santo, who does color commentary on the Cubs radio broadcasts

8. Sport to watch on TV: If I'm not listening to Cubs baseball, I want to be watching Cubs baseball (I like Cubs baseball)

9. Animal to have as a pet: A cat, like the one draped across my lap as I answer these questions

10. Halloween costume you have worn: Harpo Marx. I loved that horn.

11. Kind of dessert: Strawberry rhubarb pie

12. Comic strip: I haven't read the comics in decades

13. Ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate chip

14. News source: National -- MSNBC; Local -- Channel 5 or the Chicago Tribune

15. Vacation spot: Chateau Elan in Atlanta

16. Wine: White Zinfandel

17. Way to waste time instead of working: Doing this

18. Reality show: American Idol

19. Children's movie: Mary Poppins

20. Celebrity you wish would retire: Madonna

Happy Birthday to me, pt. 3

Today is my real-live, honest-to-God birthday. I treated myself to a massage, which might be my last one with my regular therapist because she's looking for a new job closer to where she lives. I hope she finds what will make her happy, but I'll miss her. She's not only very nice but she does wonders for those knots between my shoulders, too.

Then I went to my mom's for my family birthday party. My niece got me coconut lotion and shower gel. My mom got me a book about the Bush administration's legal problems, a set of body butters and some eye cream. My sister and her husband gave me foot scrub and lotion. My little nephew gave me two novelty pennies -- one adorned with Wrigley Field, the other with the Chicago skyline. I am touched that he put so much care into this.

We all had pizza, black forest birthday cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream. A fine time was had by all.

Saturday 9 -- Dreaming of You

1. What did you dream about last night? I don't remember the context, but Smokey Robinson provided the soundtrack. Considering how I feel about Smokey's voice, I suspect it was a dirty/romantic dream.

2. Do you often have nightmares? Not often. And when I do, I can usually blame it on something specific that I'm struggling with.

3. Do you have any special talents? I have a way with critters, and I can wiggle my right ear.

4. Who is the most talented person that you know? I recently worked with an art director named Steve who was very good at coming up with the absolute perfect graphics to accompany my copy. He had access to the same photo libraries as all the other art directors, but somehow he could zero in on the right image. Often he'd manipulate the shot, like cropping it tight or converting it to black and white. He moved to Portland earlier this year. I miss him. He was a joy to collaborate with.

5. What did you watch on TV last? Larry King Live, though Larry had the night off. Paul Begala was discussing Madame Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. I'm having a hard time letting the election go and am watching stories about the new Cabinet obsessively.

6. Is there a new TV show that you would recommend? I don't know how long it's been on, but I am a recent convert from the Today Show to Morning Joe on MSNBC. They cover politics/current events well, present a variety of opinions, and at times it's very funny. (I love the references to cohost Mika Brzezinski being on Ambien and vodka that early in the morning -- we've all had days at work where Ambien and vodka would help). Hearing Scarborough accidentally slip and say "fuck" when he clearly thought he'd said "the F word" was a lovely moment of schadenfreude. (He was telling a story about Chicago's own Rahm Emmanuel). The show is now on 7-second delay. Also, I've developed serious crushes on two regular contributors, Willie Geist and Harold Ford, Jr.

7. Who was the last person you phoned and why? I returned my mom's call. She wanted to know what kind of ice cream I want at my birthday party tonight. (Mint chocolate chip.)

8. Who was the last person who phoned you and why? My mom wanted to know what kind of ice cream I want at my birthday party tonight. (Mint chocolate chip.)

9. What was the last snail mail letter that you received? The last personal letter was from my cousin Rose.

Why not play along? Saturday 9: Dreaming of You

Soooo tired

For the last three days we have been busy at work, concentrating on a high-profile project. We're trying to establish a new brand image for our venerable client. I still think it's a "Hail, Mary" pass -- trying to justify our fees and defend our contributions -- and it may be too late. But no matter. It's been an exciting challenge and even though the input we received was muddled and the pace has been strenuous, I've really had fun. It's possible that this could be my swan song with this client, and with this job, and I'd like to do a good job. Since I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off, today may have been my final day of really concepting.

So I'm feeling tuckered out. But it's a good feeling. I contributed work that I can be proud of. If this really is it, I know I did my best. My professional pride is in tact.