Wednesday, October 19, 2016


That's Anthony Rizzo being congratulated on his home run.

Tonight I go to sleep happy.

The word for today is ...


Last night, I could have sworn I had a zit between my nose and my left eye. It's a weird place to get a pimple, yes. But when I winced -- and I winced a lot during Tuesday night's game -- that's what it felt like. I ran to the mirror and saw nothing.

This morning when I woke up, I could actually see a lump when I looked out onto the world. EW! ICK! I looked in the mirror and saw a puffy mass beside my left eye.

This has never happened to me before. My doctor doesn't have office hours on Wednesday, so I went to the walk-in clinic at Walgreens. The nurse practitioner introduced me to the word "blepharitis." In my specific case, it's a lump caused by inflammation of an oil gland in my eye lid. Not that serious, not contagious. Easily treated by drops. The NP is confident that by Thursday night, I'll look better.

I tried not to let this get me down. I mean, yes it's true that 2016 has been a horrible year for me. My health has been problematic. My bathroom is half done and will continue to be so because of more pressing financial concerns. I feel like I'm holding on to my career by my fingernails. And my friends! They have faced everything from car accidents to cancer to death this year! The consistent bright spot in my life these days -- my Cubs -- suddenly aren't shining so bright.

BUT today was unseasonably warm and I enjoyed the walk to and from Walgreens. It was sunny and the leaves are starting to turn and everything was pretty.

I live in a neighborhood where quality healthcare options are within walking distance. I have good insurance so my OOP today -- for an office visit, a flu shot and the prescription eye drops -- was less than $30. Not everyone has it so good.

It's true my home isn't how I'd like it to be -- it's fall so the drain flies have returned to my kitchen like the swallows return to Capistrano -- but my home is where my cats and my books are. And so my home makes me happy.

And Nancy was so sweet. She's definitely pulled ahead in the competition to be my new best friend. I checked in on Facebook from the clinic. Not in a "woe is me" way. In a "can you believe this shit" way. Her first response was, "Oh, no! Do you need anything?" How thoughtful is that!

I want this

I don't know why this means so much to me, exactly. I mean, I love my guys, win or lose. But I've been rather scared and sad all day. Some of it is health related, some is worry about work, but most of it is this.

I want this year to be the year. I really do. Will I be a Cub fan in 2017, one way or the other? Of course! You might as well ask me if I'll still walk upright and continue to use my thumbs.

But I want this.

That hurt

I won't lie: I couldn't stand watching last night's game. Six-to-fucking-nothing. Against Jake! The once indomitable Jake Arrieta got hammered. And Big Rizz! His slump causes me almost physical pain because he's such a great kid: a cancer survivor who gives back to the community and plays with such joie de vivre.

As the game started to get away, I moved to the den, began organizing the mess and listened on the radio. I thought being productive and hearing Pat Hughes call the game would life my mood.

It didn't.

This did, though. I love Joe Maddon. He's right, you know. It's a best-of-seven series. We're down 2-1, but we can even it up tonight. Go, Cubs, go!

October Challenge -- Day 19

Today's October Daily Prompt: Happy Mail

I still like writing and receiving postcards from the road. I just recently received one like this from Pelplin. My cousin Rose beat it back from Poland, but no matter. I was happy to see it in my mailbox.