These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Four historic events:Okay, the first one I don't have to look up. When a national tragedy occurs on your birthday, you never forget.
• JFK Assassination (1963)
• The first commercial transpacific flight (1935)
• FDR, Churchill and Chiang Kai-shek meet to discuss defeating Japan (1943)
• NASA launches the Space Shuttle Discovery (1989)
Three births
• First Lady, and Presidential Mom, Abigail Adams (1744)
• French President Charles deGaulle (1890)
• Singer/songwriter Hoagy Carmichael (1899)
Two deaths
• Cosmetics mogul Mary Kay (2001)
• Officer JD Tippit (1963). He's the Dallas cop who stopped Lee Harvey Oswald within an hour of the assassination and was shot himself. Tippit was a war veteran with more than a decade on the force. He left a wife and three children. I'm spotlighting him because conspiracy theorists have recklessly ruined his reputation. Here's the commemorative badge Dallas police have worn in his honor.
The Main Event. My friend Joanna really came through on my actual birthday, and I am so grateful. I admit that my birthday has been a day that leaves me emotional since I lost Henry and John. For decades they – like my mom and my oldest friend – were the ones who fussed over me the most. When you share a birthday with a national holiday, like me with Thanksgiving, friends tend to say things like, "Let's do something after the holiday." As an adult, it's hard not to sound petulant when you insist, "NO! I want to tear paper off a giftie on my special day!" Yet it's true. On the actual day, I want to feel special and celebrated. If I don't have that, I'm afraid I feel bad and lonely.
Enter Joanna. She started planning my birthday in October, when she got back from her month-long holiday in London. I know she has had severe financial/business woes, so when she first brought up the topic, I suggested inexpensive options. "No," she insisted, "that's not good enough for your birthday." And she kept reiterating – Saturday, November 22. She said she wanted to celebrate me on my birthday (so important).
It began at the Cultural Center. If you ever visit Chicago, be sure to swing by. It used to be the Chicago Public Library and it is impressive, with a shiny spiral staircase and a Tiffany glass dome. There are always free art exhibits and, since it's right across the street from Millennium Park, lots of good places to eat.
Then we went to The Walnut Room for a late lunch/early dinner. Can't put too fine a point on what a big deal this is as Christmastime here. We had their famous chicken pot pie for lunch and then split a slice of Frango Mint pie for dessert. (Where better to enjoy Frango Mints than where they were introduced?) Here's a shot of the beautiful Walnut Room tree, this year a salute to Marshall Field's. Joanna and I posed in front of it as a waiter patiently took our photo (we were probably the 2000th customers he did this for).
While I enjoyed our meal, I felt a little bad about it because I know Joanna is cash strapped. But this was her choice. She was very proud that she managed to get us a table. I appreciate that she wanted to make my day special. She also gave me a Beanie Baby – a white angel bear. It's a collector's item. She wants me to have it. That's the important thing.
The Final Act. Last week I was surprised to get a text from my former co-worker. I haven't heard from her in forever! She said she and her husband wanted to come out to my neck of the woods to celebrate my birthday. I was so touched that she remembered. So yesterday, the day after my special day with Joanna, we had a lovely lunch at Cooper's Hawk, a restaurant we all like (even though only her husband had wine).
My birthday these days isn't the same as it was a decade ago. I miss my mother fussing over me, I miss John wanting to party down, I miss my oldest friend wanting to take me to lunch and then start our Christmas shopping, I miss Henry telling me how much I would always mean to him.
More gifts came in the mail! First was the lemon-scented Yankee Candle. I suspect that was from my Cousin Rose, but there was no note so I'm not 100% sure. While I appreciate the thought and like the scent, this will be a regift. Candles just aren't safe here with my feline roommates.
Speaking of cats, I got a page-a-day cat trivia calendar. I suspect this is from my oldest friend, but again, no note. There was a time when she and I exchanged page-a-day calendars every year, so I really hope she did choose this for me. It would mean a welcome return to normal as she battles bipolar disorder. (But she's not answering my texts, so I wonder if her mood downshifted between when she picked the gift and its arrival.)
Then there's the personalized water bottle from Mme. Snarky Pants. How perfect is this? OK, so the one she sent is ginormous and my name is not Melissa, but you get the idea. It's especially fitting because of something that happened to me at work yesterday. I was in the storage room, searching for an empty carton to store the unsold Halloween merchandise. ZAP! I solved the mystery I've been reading. All the pieces just snapped into place. So clearly while my body was at the card shop, my attention was really on the case in 1990s Miami with fictional crime reporter Britt Montero. This mug just reinforces that Snarky "gets" me.
Birthdays and holidays have been hard since John and Henry died. I'm glad – I'm lucky! – I have people who still fuss over me.
My aunt sent me a big box of teas again this year. It's very sweet, really. Since she moved to Florida decades ago, she recalls Chicagoland as an arctic tundra and wants to help me ward off the cold. The thing of it is she sends me more than I can ever drink. So I will go through the box and what I know I won't consume, I'll either donate to the food pantry or give to Will and Gregory when we meet for Thanksgiving dinner.
She also included a festive little Christmas pin. I mentioned on Facebook that I lost one last year and was bummed about it. Again, it was so sweet of her to remember that after all this time and act on it.
What's sad about this is how small her world has become. Like many who are MAGA (or MAGA adjacent), she just can't resist telling the rest of us how very wrong we are. And reveal what a racist homophobe she is. Her oldest son, my sisters, and her adult grandchildren are all estranged from her. She has a great grandchild she hasn't seen. She's been enduring health problems – as people knocking on 80 will – and is hurt that they don't check on her. The only Mother's Day gifts she receives anymore are from me (she's my Godmother).
I wonder if the cold comfort she receives by "being right" about Trump is worth it.
I prefer to focus on the fact that she's one of two people left on earth who held me as a baby. I choose to treasure that she loves me and is my last tie to my favorite grandparents.*
And I cannot wait until this MAGA fever breaks and I can celebrate my birthday without Donald Trump intruding on it!
*My grandmother never missed church and was very active in the congregation and the Girl Scouts. She was every inch a lady. My grandfather was a German immigrant who was outspoken in his support of unions and Democrats from FDR to Jimmy Carter (<<< President when he died). They would be appalled by MAGA.
My early birthday gift from Sir Paul arrived today! Turns out I am an Emerald VIP for his upcoming concert at the United Center. I'll be honest: when I was finally admitted into the Ticketmaster "room" to purchase my ticket, I clicked "best available" and all I focused on was completing the transaction before the timer hit 00:00. I really didn't care what "best available" got me.
As an Emerald VIP, I get a box of swag!
That's a lanyard with a VIP pass, a "cross body belt bag" (aka a fanny pack you wear across the chest) and my favorite – a Paul McCartney wristwatch. The black/white cat on the floor on the left is Roy Hobbs. While I was
squealing over the tour merchandise, he was plotting against the
black/pink mouse toy on the floor on the right.
Is this worth what I paid for the ticket? Nah. But then, I can't possibly put dollar value on seeing Sir Paul end his world tour in Chicago just days after my birthday – and from the 11th row of section 101! He's 83 years old now, I'll be 68. I don't know how much longer we'll keep meeting like this. I'm going to savor it.
Saturday 9: It All Depends On You (1959) Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1)
In this song, Shirley Bassey sings that she could be happy or sad. As
you answer these questions, do lean more toward happy or sad? Happy. Or, I suppose, it would be more precise to borrow from the sailors and say I'm on an even keel.
2)
She tells us that she can save money or spend it. Do you try to stick to a budget?I try. I'm not always successful, but I try.
3)
By the time Shirley Bassey recorded "It All Depends on You," it was
already an oldie, written back in 1926. Can you think of a song, book,
or movie that you enjoy today that you believe audiences will relate to
2125? As long as kids continue to play with Barbie dolls, I bet the Barbie movie will endure. I get such a kick out of Ryan Gosling's performance. He's Kenough!
4)
Though she has risen to the title Dame Commander of the British Empire
(DBE), her childhood allowed her little education. She dropped out at 15
and got a factory job to help her family. How old were you when you got
your first full-time job? What was it? At 17 I got a job as a secretary (this was before "administrative assistants").
5) A
favorite of the Royal Family, Shirley performed at the Queen's Diamond
Jubilee Party at Buckingham Palace. How would you like to celebrate your
next anniversary or birthday? Are you in the mood for a big blow out,
or would you prefer something low key?This year, Paul McCartney is coming to Chicago to celebrate me. I think that qualifies as a blow out. 😉
6)
Madame Tussaud's has two wax figurines of Shirley – one in London and a
second in Las Vegas. Do you enjoy wax museums, or do you think they're
creepy? I think they're creepy, and I enjoy them anyway.
7) In
1959, when this song was popular, most women wore nylons on a daily
basis and the average price per pair was $1. What socks or leg wear –
if any – do you have on right now? I'm barefoot. 8)
Also in 1959, Alaska became our 49th state. Today, cruise lines showcase
Alaska on 4- or 7-night cruises. What do you consider the perfect
length for a vacation trip? Is a 3-day weekend too short? Are two weeks
away from home too long? What's your ideal? I think 4 or 5 nights away is perfect.
9)
Random question: Which cable channel would you watch more often – one
that shows nothing but classic sitcoms, or one that shows nothing but
new movies? Classic sitcoms.
Paul McCartney will be ending his North American tour in Chicago on November 24 and 25. My birthday is November 22. I take this as a sign from the universe that I must be in attendance for one of those shows.
There was a lot of stress involved in getting me a ticket yesterday. But – spoiler alert – I'm in.
Days ago I requested a pre-sale code for each night, which arrived on my phone at 9:00 AM yesterday. I logged in with one on my laptop and the other on my phone. The pre-sale started at 10:00 and here's the message I got on my laptop. The one on my phone said I was 37000+ in line. I was not hopeful. The United Center has a capacity of less than 25,000 for concerts.
The ticket prices – which hadn't been announced before Tuesday – ranged from $40.60 to (gulp!) $4,135.90. For 50 minutes, I watched the queue number tick down oh-so slowly. I did yoga stretches as my eyes darted from phone to laptop and back again. I listened to Paul songs and wondered how I was going to pay for my ticket in the unlikely event I got one. I looked at the pad of lined paper on my coffee table that has an overview of my finances. I have a "slush fund" that I started back in March, seeded with money from my tax refund.
My "slush fund" is different from my "household fund," which is money I have earmarked for sudden home expenses (like a broken window or a new refrigerator). It's not my "emergency fund," which is a 120-day CD and saved for unexpected taxes or a medical bill for me or the cats. I had unspecified plans for the "slush fund," adding $10 to it here or there, working toward hazy dreams of a someday kitchen remodel.
On Tuesday morning, my "slush fund" had $815. Right now? $27.46.
Both my phone and my laptop let me in to the sale at the same time. I don't understand how that happened. I was so very far back. I can only imagine that many other fans had their credit cards rejected or choked when they saw the price of the seats that were left. I had an advantage. I only want one seat.
I opted for "best available" on both screens. Under $1,000 for two reasons: I didn't want ground floor in front of the stage because I'm too short to see anything and because, well, I don't have it.
I got section 101, lower level, left of stage. 24 hours later, seats in my section are selling for $2,500+ each on Vivid Seats.
I forget how popular Paul McCartney is. I have loved him since I was 6 years old, the same way I love blue skies and a cat's purr. It's basic and consistent and forever. It never occurs to me that other people love him, too. So the ticket demand and the price did surprise me.
But I am going. He is 83 and I am 67. I am aware that time is running short. My knight will be here for my birthday, and I will be there to see him.
Joanna took me to lunch at The Walnut Room! Dining around The Great Tree is a venerable Chicago holiday tradition. The Walnut Room is the first restaurant ever opened in an American store -- more than 100 years ago, when the big store on State Street was still Marshall Field's. The whole store was decorated for the holidays, we dined off the special menu, had Frango Mint pie, and posed before The Great Tree.
Before lunch we zipped through the Christkrindlemarket, the German-themed collection of shops under the Picasso at Daley Plaza. The first day it was open this year was yesterday, Friday, 11/22. My birthday! Tell me that was a mere coincidence.
I really appreciate the way Joanna fussed over me. This was my first birthday without John and Henry -- I wore a necklace Henry chose for me years ago -- and I've been feeling lonely without them. Also, she was so thoughtful. She planned everything with military precision and even gave me the sweetest note and postcard collection. Joanna's life is not without its own complications right now -- she's watching her lover, Sid, deal with failing health and her business is struggling -- but she made me a priority yesterday and it touched my heart.
Then there were the gifts:
• A holiday welcome mat featuring a cat in a Santa cap from my aunt
• A movie trivia game from my cousin Rose
• A Beatles poster on canvas from my oldest friend
I got texts and calls and Facebook messages. Bud and Kwizgiver gave me shoutouts (hell, Kwizgiver gave me a whole post!). I know Kathleen and I will get together before year-end to celebrate my birthday and hers in December.*
I am happy. It's been a good birthday.
*My friend Mindy promises we'll meet, but I'll believe that when it happens. I'm still waiting for her and John to settle on a date for Christmas 2023.
I admit it: I've been struggling more than I imagined I would. Losing my dear friends, John and Henry, has broken my heart. Yes, it is a comfort to know that they are both happy and whole again in Heaven. I know neither of them would want me to be sad and so I look for joy in every day (and find it).
But it's the loneliness. I miss them. I met John when I was 23, Henry when I was 34. I'm now 66. That represents a lot of love. So many birthdays, Thanksgivings and Christmases. So many memories. As October turns to November and December, I feel so alone without them.
But I am not alone, and buckle up, because here comes some joy. I am getting support and finding inclusion from the loved ones who remain.
•Big birthday fun. I mentioned to Joanna that this will be my first birthday in for-fucking-ever without my dear old friends and boy, has she ever jumped into the breach! First we will tour Chicago's Christkindlmarket on its Opening Day (coincidentally, my birthday). Then we're having lunch at The Walnut Room, by their 45-foot tree! That 3:00 PM reservation was not easy for her to snag. Chicagoans have been making The Walnut Room part of their holiday tradition for more than 115 years, and at first we couldn't get in on the date requested. By Joanna would not be deterred! She kept checking every day, in case there was a cancellation, and voila! I am so grateful for her commitment.
•Thanksgiving at Cooper's Hawk. John used to organize this and he called it "Orphan's Thanksgiving." For more than a decade there were three of us. Now there will be two. I wasn't sure Gregory would want to do this without him, but he does and I'm thankful for that. I suppose this event might be sad, but I've had so much change! I want this tradition to continue. John used to tease that the reason for this gettogether wasn't Thanksgiving, it was to get me into something other than a Cubs t-shirt. I will dress up again in his memory.
•It's a Wonderful Life at The Music Box. It's a Christmas classic at one of Chicago's oldest movie theaters. Santa himself shows up before the film and leads us in song -- and, if we're lucky, we can snag the candy he tosses to us. This will be my third time doing this with Elaine, and she's excited. We've already got our tickets.
You know, perspective is a funny thing. I think of Joanna and Elaine as "new" friends because, compared to Henry and John, they are. But I've known them for years (11 for Joanna, 8 for Elaine). My shrink pointed out that not everyone maintains friendships as long as I do, and she reminds me that I now have history with these women and that's worth celebrating, in and of itself.
• Christmas at my niece's house. For more than 20 years I spent at least part of the holidays in Key West with Henry. It was important to him, and he'd refer to my visit as his vacation. When she heard Henry had died, my niece ordained that I now spend Christmas at her new home in Michigan. She has declared herself the new matriarch of our clan, said she's hosting Christmas for the first time, and she wants me there. I get such a kick out of her. She's so bossy! (Trust me, no one orders me around like she does, which is pretty bold coming from someone I diapered.) But I am looking forward to spending Christmas with her, her husband and my nephew. Yes, my sister (her mom) will be there. But I'm confident it will be OK because niece has deigned it so and believe me, you don't want to cross her on this.
So now I'm facing forward with more optimism. Yes, it makes me sad when I look at my holiday gift list and see neither Henry's nor John's names there. Certainly I still miss them every day. But I'm buoyed by the love and support I still have.
1)
This week's song begins with Hollies' lead singer Allan Clarke telling
us of a Saturday night trip downtown, taken at the behest of the FBI.
What are your plans for Saturday night? (No, we don't expect you to tell
us you'll be working undercover for a government agency.) I'm going to be under the covers with the new love of my life, my Vapoinhaler. I'll have my tissue box nearby, too. Yes, I'm sick. But it's only a cold and I'm just a big baby. I hope I'm feeling better in time for work on Monday. (<<< Hey! That's a sentence I never thought I'd utter again!)
2)
At a bar, he meets a woman in a black dress. The LBD, or little black
dress, is a wardrobe staple for many women because it's appropriate for
almost any occasion. Let's say you get a last-minute invitation for a
"dressy" dinner this weekend and you don't have the time or money to buy
something new. What's your go-to outfit from your closet? I'd probably wear what I wore to my niece's wedding three years ago -- a long garnet duster over a matching cami and black leggings. Shoes would be a problem, since I don't think I have a pair of dressy flats to go along with it. Oh well, I shan't sweat it since this is a fantasy, after all.
3) Everyone at the bar starts to run when they hear sirens. Do you often hear sirens in your neighborhood? All the time. I don't really notice them anymore. I get nervous when the siren gets louder and slower, telling me the emergency vehicle is stopping nearby.
4)
In 1972, the year this week's song was on the charts, Popeye's opened
their first fast-food chicken restaurant in Louisiana. Now that the
Thanksgiving feast is over, will you be eating any carry-out this
weekend? Perhaps. There may be a trip to the local burger joint in my future. Unless I'm feeling exceptionally lazy.
5)
Black is this week's signature color because November 24 was Black
Friday, when retailers historically have slashed their prices and the
holiday shopping season begins. Have you begun your gift shopping? I'm just about done! I still have to get my niece a set of private label barbecue sauces from a local restaurant. She lives in Michigan and she can't get these particular sauces up there. I also want to make a donation in my friend Kathleen's name to The Carter Center. She admires Jimmy Carter enormously and I'm sure she's been moved by all the tributes to Rosalyn.
6)
Walmart, Best Buy and Target all advertise heavily on Black Friday. If
you could have a $100 gift card from one of those stores, which would
you choose? What would you buy? Target.
7)
This Monday is sometimes known as Cyber Monday because shoppers can
find big savings online. Do you shop confidently online, or do you worry
about security breaches and identity theft? I recently was a victim of a breach, and it had nothing to do with online shopping. Back in 2018, my primary care physician sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound of my leg. Now, in November 2023, I got notice that my hospital records were compromised. I just received a very strange call Thursday from a local number. A heavily-accented man said he was calling from "[Unintelligible] Health" about my leg. I yelled at him, saying only a scammer would call on a national holiday and that there's nothing wrong with my leg. Gotta keep a close eye on my credit report.
8) What are you thankful for this year? My friends. I have a network that supports me. I am so fortunate that way.
9)
Random question: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone (texting doesn't count)? My oldest friend called to wish me a happy birthday by playing the lads singing "Birthday" into the receiver.
I was wistful going into my birthday this year. I think some of it could be that -- while I didn't realize it yet -- I was coming down with a cold. Some of it could be that my art director didn't mention my birthday when we got together for lunch days before.
But it turned out to be a nice day. I had three gifts waiting for me that I received through the mail:
• A "Feisty Ladies" wall calendar from my Cousin Rose
• Boxed teas and a cat-themed shopping tote from my aunt
• A cat-themed zippered pouch, filled with inspirational/aspirational stickers, from Snarkypants
Then the Facebook messages started coming in. You know, people slag social media but this is something it does really well: it made me happy to see how many people responded to that reminder and sent good wishes.
I got text after text, too. Elaine. My art director (I think she saw it on Facebook) wants us to plan a date together to celebrate our birthdays. Nancy said, "The t-shirt is from me and Paul* because we love you." My oldest friend, promising a great gift.* John with an e-giftcard to my local movie theater. And did you see this? Kwizgiver wrote me a poem!
Not gonna lie. I like being fussed over.
I met Joanna downtown for the Christkindlemarket. All these adorable little German-themed shops in Daley Plaza, right under the watchful nose of the Picasso. I got baked cheese for myself and a little knit finger puppet for Elaine. Then we went across the street for The Best Ever Grilled Cheese Sandwich. It's exactly what we did for my birthday last year. That appealed to Joanna because it's what we did last year and, as she wrote in her card, she appreciates the traditions she and I have developed around our birthdays. I liked it because it was guilt free. I know Joanna is cash strapped these days but this was a unique but affordable lunch.
I heard from Henry. It was the first time in months! He suffered a pair of seizures and had been in the hospital. This took a major toll on his already compromised cognitive abilities. Now he's home, and some days he doesn't know Reg anymore and needs help shaving and using the bathroom. Other days he's a little better. Fortunately, on my birthday, he was a bit more himself. He was rooted in front of the TV, watching CNN, when he saw a mention of the 60th anniversary of the JFK assassination.
"I must talk to The Gal. It is her birthday!" he kept insisting to Reg. First when he called I was in the shower. I called him back, but he didn't pick up so I left a message. He called again, just as I was boarding the train to go downtown. I know he wouldn't understand about the noise, so I let it go to voicemail. He called again when Joanna and I were at lunch. I took the call but tried to keep it short. He was very confused, but it meant a great deal to me that even through the fog he understood that it was my birthday and he wanted to talk to me.
A few moments later, Reg called. Drunk and sad. He said Henry was very "agitated" about missing my birthday, even though we just spoke. I was at lunch with Joanna, it was rude to spend this long on these calls. But Henry is so important to me. I told Reg I could call back tonight, or not. Whatever Reg thought was best, I would do. Reg told me it would be best not to call, so I didn't.
As awkward and weird as all this was, it's a memory I will treasure forever. Somewhere inside Henry, he still remembers and loves me. Somewhere in there, we're still us.
My old art director called me about 10 days ago to catch up. After we blabbed for a while, she told me how much her partner, Kevin, likes me and that he's eager for all of us to get together again. She specifically wanted to meet on Sunday. I thought she chose that day because it was the 19th and my birthday is the 22nd.
When I walked into the bar Sunday, I could tell they were sincerely happy to see me. I could also tell she had completely forgotten my birthday. Kevin offered to pay, but that's just because he's a guy and that's what guys do. This wasn't my birthday lunch. So I thanked him but left the tip.
Which presents me with a dilemma. Her birthday is coming up in December. I was going to invite her to lunch at one of our old work/Michigan Avenue haunts and give her this gift: a personalized compact.
I have to give it to her. It has her name on it! It's not like I can give it to someone else. Besides, it didn't cost me very much. I just know she's a very girly-girl who carries a small purse, so this seemed like a good choice for her.
So this is what I shall do: I'll mail it to her. No lunch. The meal would be the most expensive thing. I also think that if she opens it herself at home, she'll be spared embarrassment about missing my birthday. After all, the point is to celebrate her, not make her feel bad!
I donned a beige and black striped blouse I've never worn before and real shoes (not tennies) for our Thanksgiving feast. My friend John noticed and commented. I think part of why he enjoys our Thanksgiving is that he can see me in something other than a Cubs t-shirt.
John and Gregory spent part of last week with Gregory's siblings. Bro and Sis were in town not for Thanksgiving but to visit a relative who is failing. It occurred to me when the three of us were blabbing that we spent a lot of time talking about Medicare (all three of us), medical maladies (me and John), sick and/or dying relatives (John and Gregory). 40 years ago, when I first met these guys, it was all about new music and clubs. Now it's Medicare Advantage vs. Medicare Supplement.
We ordered the pre fixe Thanksgiving menu:
• Butternut squash bisque (Gregory had the green salad)
• Roast turkey with cornbread dressing
• Mashed potatoes
• Butternut squash/apple casserole (my favorite part of the meal)
• Green beans and sliced carrots
• Pumpkin pie
All for $40! I had expected it to be less food at a higher price point, what with all doom-and-gloom inflation news. The only concession I noticed the restaurant made was they axed the promised cranberry sauce and didn't replace it.
For my birthday, John gave me a filmography of Katharine Hepburn. I could tell it was from the marked-down bin but that's fine. The Great Kate is still my favorite and he remembered that. The photos and reproductions of the original movie posters are lovely.
As I got into my Lyft, I realized that again this year, there was no photo of our Friendsgiving. I'm so used to posting pics this made me feel bad.
But it shouldn't. I'm thankful that we had fun, that we had each other, that we have such history, and that our bellies were full. That's enough.
I spent this afternoon celebrating with Joanna at The Chriskindlemarket. Every year since 1996, this marketplace has been in the shadow of The Picasso. It was inspired by the holiday markets in Germany. Each stall is a food or gift vendor. It's very upbeat and festive.
I've walked by it every year but never went in. At 9:00, when I raced past en route to the office, they weren't open yet. At lunchtime it was too crowded. Somehow, in the evenings, there just wasn't time.
Well, this year we strolled it. With me retired and Joanna self-employed, we could take our time. It was great! I got handcrafted little gifties for my niece and her hubs (natural honey for her, beard moisturizer for him).
Then Joanna took me for a sandwich and root beer and we caught up.
It was a good birthday. I have a couple gifts in my den -- one from my aunt, the other from my cousin -- but I'm waiting until Wednesday to open them. I want to spread the happy a little longer.
2. Best thing about fall walks: that I'm not hot (summer), rained upon (spring), or slipping on snow (winter). Fall is just the best month for walking!
3. Favorite fall chore: I live in an apartment and consequently am not called upon to do any season-specific chores. Though I tend to resist all chores any way.
4. Least favorite fall chore: See above.
5. Best change in the home: Sleeping without the a/c. I'm grateful to Mr. Carrier for his fabulous invention, but I'm always glad when I'm done with it for the year.
6. Best tree in the fall: I'm not good with the tree thing, but I'll say maple because I used to live on Maple Avenue.
7. Fall ritual: Returning to Starbucks for hot chocolate. I don't care for coffee at all and seldom set foot in the place, but I am fond of their hot chocolate (I recommend a dash of cinnamon, available from a shaker near the napkins.)
8. Most frustrating thing about fall: I'm sorry, I got nothing for this.
9. Favorite fall decorations: Those little gourds people display make me happy.
10. Favorite clothing: It's good to get my sweaters out again.
11. Traditional fall candy: Cinnamon! Though I have to avoid chewy candy because of my teeth.
12. Favorite sound: Same as all year around -- a cat's pur
13. When does fall begin for you? I let the unpredictable Chicagoland weather tell me
14. What is your favorite aspect of fall? Long walks in the fall sunshine
15.
What is your favorite fall memories? They all surround my November birthday. This morning I remember second grade, when Janet came to my party. We had been in Kindergarten and first grade together, but her family moved just 5 miles away and that put her in a different school district. None of us had seen her since the previous June and to us, those 5 months seemed like a lifetime. It was so exciting! She gave me this Addams Family game.
16. What do you like to drink in the fall? I've begun drinking tea in the chilly evenings.
17. What's your favorite fall food? Stuffing with gravy
18. What color is fall? Orange
19. What does fall smell like? Pumpkin, apples and cinnamon
20.
If you could go anywhere in the fall, where would you go? I'd like to just take a little weekend getaway. I'm thinking of returning to Springfield to see Mr. Lincoln's home and Presidential Library again. It's been awhile and hanging with Abe always lifts my spirits.
My birthday was 11/22. Monday of Thanksgiving week. Between the holiday, a heavy workload, and covid, it wasn't the event it's been in the past. But it was better than 2020, when my special day was completely forgotten amid the pandemic. (I even got sick with covid myself around this time last year.) So looking back on my 2021 celebrations, I want to give a special shout out to the State of Illinois. 63% of us are now vaccinated. I know three people who contracted the virus this summer -- all three were vaccinated with both doses -- and none of them got as sick as I got.* Using my birthday as a signpost, I hope that masking and booster shots continue to keep us safe and that next year my special day will be Galapalooza again!
I got presents! In addition to the ones in this photo (from my auntie, my cousin, Snarkypants and my friend Nancy), I got little gifties from my Joanna, my oldest friend and newest friend, Elaine. They're all festive and thoughtful and appropriate and so very appreciated.
I ate! Thanksgiving dinner with Gregory and John was the start. (He got me a giftcard to my favorite local movie theater -- another perfect present!) Then Joanna and I got together at a local restaurant I haven't been to in nearly two years! Last night, Elaine and I dined at a trendy little Asian kitchen downtown near the ballpark. It's a tiny space with great food and I'm so glad it made it through the pandemic when many other small businesses didn't.
I celebrated! Last night, Elaine and I attended the annual holiday show at the Music Box theater. Last year, for the first time in decades, it had to be held outdoors at a drive-in theater. This year, we were back inside! Yes, we were masked and asked to present our vaccination cards, but I like feeling safe!
Anyway, last night, surrounded by classic movie fans who knew all the dialog (and hissed whenever mean Mr. Potter appeared and jingled bells whenever Clarence mentioned his wings), I saw It's a Wonderful Life. It was a very emotional experience for me. Not just because the film is so positive and moving, but because it was a favorite film of my favorite uncle. I miss him all the time -- more often than I would have predicted when he died more a decade ago -- and he would have loved this.
Before the film, the Music Box showed Christmas-themed shorts, including my favorite as a little girl, "Hardrock, Coco and Joe." It's crazy how happy this made me!
Then there was a sing-along, hosted by The Big Guy himself. I don't know if you can really tell from my crappy photo, but Santa hopped onto the classic Music Box organ and led us in song. Most of the tracks we sang along with were by my holiday fave rave, Andy Williams (!) and augmented by the organ. Afterward, Santa rewarded us by throwing wrapped candies into the audience.
There were no children in the audience, but in addition to Boomers like Elaine and me, there were plenty of Millennials. It was so nice to enjoy the movie going/Christmas experience in a crowd again!
I woke up this morning feeling very happy. Loved and grateful. Excited about Christmas 2021 ... and hoping that when I post about my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas 2022, vaccinations and masks will make covid a mere mention and not a big part of our memories.
*Nor my Cousin Rose or my oldest friend. All three of us ended up spending the holidays with covid. Like me, my friend had wicked gastrointestinal symptoms. Rose had the more conventional respiratory symptoms. All three of us were sick for weeks. Since we're still on work-from-home, one of my vaccinated coworkers got through his very recent "bout" without missing a day's work!
Tuesday
was my birthday. I'm glad I saved my gifts from far off lands to the East (like
Florida) until Tuesday morning to open because they brightened my mood.
I posted this photo on Facebook to thank everyone who mailed me goodies and let them know everything arrived safe and sound. (Thank you especially, Snarkela.)
My friend Elaine is going to be fine. She has a bruised rib and an unsightly bruise on her cheek, but nothing serious. Still, she was 12 hours in the ER, so she was exhausted and we didn't go out.
But Kathleen and Joanna both checked in, promising that we'll get together after Thanksgiving. Kathleen has had health problems and is super busy at work. Joanna is never on time for birthdays. She depends on Facebook to let her know birthdays roll around.
My oldest friend called, letting me know my gift is in the mail from California and promises that I'll love it.
I'll see John and Gregory on Thanksgiving and we'll celebrate me then, too.
Rita started at work on my birthday. We finally have another writer! I consider her a birthday present. I've been so busy and stressed. It'll be good to have help. I may even be able to take a few more of my vacation days before the end of the year.
So it wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, either. It was fine. I had a fine birthday.
I'm encouraged to participate in this November challenge with my church congregation.
Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30
days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for
Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion
for Our Planet.
Monday, I reached back.
An old friend, someone I was very close to at one time, reached out to me for my birthday. An ecard with a personal message: Gal, thinking about you and hope you are doing well.
My first response? I don't need this. I literally haven't heard from him since my Cubs won the World Series in 2016. I'd been very hurt by silence on my 2016 birthday and Christmas 2016, and then tried to let it go. Some bruises don't ever heal completely, though. I'd trusted him, thought we were part of one anothers lives. And then suddenly, and without any real explanation, radio silence.
So my birthday 2021 is special? What was wrong with 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020?
Then I thought, something must be going on in his life that made him reach out. So I reached back. I emailed back that I appreciated him remembering me on my special day and that I hoped he was well, too.
I felt better for having done it. Compassion for him, and compassion for me.
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