Thursday Thirteen #312

Thirteen myths about menstruation. I recently read that when Elizabeth Taylor was a teen actress under contract to MGM, her mother convinced her that if she worked while she was menstruating, it would "endanger her health." Consequently when she was in her late 20s and able to negotiate her contracts, she always insisted on a clause that stated she couldn't be filmed during her period. 

I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of it. Then I remembered that my own mother (about 4 years younger than Taylor) truly believed that tampons were "bad" for me. So I got thinking: What other fallacies have girls been taught over the years about our periods?

I'll get Liz and my mom out of the way first ...

1. You shouldn't exert yourself physically during your period.

2. Tampons negatively affect fertility.

3. You shouldn't use a tampon or menstrual cup if you have an IUD.

4. You can't get pregnant during your period.

5. You can't get an STD if you have intercourse while menstruating.

6. The worse your menstrual cramps, the more likely you are to be infertile.

7. Don't bathe, only take fast showers, during your period.

8. Swimming in cold water during your period can affect your fertility.

9. There's something wrong with you if your period lasts more than 7 days.

10. PMS isn't real and women just use it as an excuse for bad behavior or ...

11. Women shouldn't be in the C-Suite because they can't be trusted to make decisions while PMS-ing.

12. You won't get your period while you're breastfeeding or ...

13. Your period will reduce/spoil your breast milk, so be sure to pump more the week before.

Remember: None of these is true! Now let's all sing ...

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Which sitcom sweetheart am I?

This morning it occurred to me yet again that at times my life is a sitcom. And not the one I want. 

I wish I was Mary Richards. Mary always has it together. Whether she's in her spotless little apartment where there's a place for everything and everything in its place, or at the office, where she's the hub because she can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile. Everyone admires Mary for her effortless grace and poise. Even when she does something silly, she handles it with charm and aplomb. Mary is always a winner.

That so wasn't me this morning. Here I was in my little bathroom, messier than it should be since I have none of Mary's discipline. I'd just been staring into my magnifying mirror so I could tweeze away errant dark hairs on my chin. (Something I cannot imagine Mary doing.) I'd flossed carefully around the site of my tooth extraction and reached for the special prescription mouthwash I have to use. (If you can turn the world on with your smile, you don't need to have teeth pulled.) The cap separated from the bottle and somehow I was spraying chlorhexidine all over. Onto the wood toilet seat and all over the floor. I cannot get it off the seat, which is left icky sticky.* And it dissolved the bottom of the carton that holds my pee-pee pads (can you see Mary needing those?) so I had to throw them out. When I finally found the cap -- which I not only need to close the bottle, I need it to measure the dosage -- it was between the toilet and wall and covered in hair and cat fur.

It was expensive, dispiriting and, I suppose, with the right soundtrack it could be funny. But it wasn't Mary. Definitely not Mary.

*A new one is on its way from Wayfair.