Friday, September 05, 2014

Not again. Not now.

 Breeders! I'm surrounded by breeders!

One of my coworkers ended our weekly status meeting by announcing her pregnancy, and I'm not proud to admit that my first reaction was, "WHAT?" Nothing about the miracle of life or how happy I am for her. Just shock and dismay.

I apologized afterward and then ran over to Macy's to buy a little something. Since we know she's having a boy, I got her a "Mr. Handsome" onesie. She told me there was no need to apologize, that she was flattered by my response because she understood I'll miss her when she's out for 12 weeks.

She's not coming back. She hates her boss, the Chocolate Covered Spider. They're selling their house and looking for a bigger one, and once she qualifies that mortgage we'll never see her again. And then I'll be stuck working with Blondie McBlonderson, the pretty but pulled-way-too-tight coworker who is currently out on the final 5 weeks of HER maternity leave.

The Chocolate Covered Spider herself was out on her second maternity leave last summer.

I enjoyed it when Chocolate Covered Spider and now Blondie McBlonderson are out because they are stress carriers. Everything is more complicated when they're around.

But I'd be lying if I didn't confess that it's hard to not be at full staff. 

Photo by David Castillo Dominici at