Saturday, February 24, 2018

Sunday Stealing

From Smellyann

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel. Making eye contact when I tell someone how I really feel.
2.  Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? I'm sure it was one of my sisters. They really are not very nice people.
3.  You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make one phone call. Who do you call?  What do you tell them? I'm not sure I'd call anyone. It would be too awful. I mean, imagine the screaming and chaos in the background. I'd text Kathleen and remind her she promised to take care of my cats.

4.  You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I wouldn't be afraid of dying, because I'm Christian and I believe I'm good with Him. I would, however, be very afraid of any pain associated with whatever I have. I'd try to get everything together for my niece and nephew. The rest of my plans would depend on what I was able to do.

5.  You can have one of the following two things.  Which do you choose?  Why?  Love and Trust. Love

6.  You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street.  Your boss has told you that if you are late just one more time you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life?  Why? Why not? This is a nightmare that I've had more than once! I see a dog drowning in the Chicago River, near the Wells Street bridge, and I have to dive in to save him. My shrink told me that this has something to do with vulnerability. In dream logic, I'm both me and the dog. By saving the dog, I am re-establishing control over my environment/destiny/life.

7.  Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? By the one I love.

8.  Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship.  He/she is falling in love with you.  What do you (or did you) say? "Thank you. But I'm sorry, I don't love you that way."

9.  Think of the last person you know who died.  You have the chance to give them 1 hour more of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours.  Do you do it?  Why? Or Why not? No. He had lung cancer and was in great pain. I'm sorry he had the disease, but I thought it was a blessing when his suffering was over. I wouldn't want to prolong that pain.
10.  Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? Yes

11.  Does love = sex? No.

12.  Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee.  You have been there much longer.  Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income.  Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?  Why or Why not. No. Because I have no other means of support, either. And besides, this is not how companies should make decisions. If so, would a woman with three children be a more valuable employee than a man with two? Is a man with a baby at home more protected than a woman caring for an elderly parent?

13.  When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say?  What did you have to tell the person? I don't recall. Sorry.

14.  What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex – you love them or that you do not love them back. That I don't love them back.

Cookies, Colleges, California and the Cubs

Had lunch with my nephew today. So much has been going on in his life, and I was grateful for the download.

He's been accepted to two colleges: Western Illinois University in Macomb and Drew in Madison, NJ. A third school in Minnesota has yet to be heard from. Right now he has no favorite. He and his mother are touring Western Illinois on Monday.

Mostly he's happy to finish with high school. He mentions friends in passing, but since breaking up with his girlfriend last summer, there isn't anyone he feels especially attached to. He's more fond, and more eager to spend time with, friends he's met gaming online than his classmates. I said, "You sound like you're ready to start the next chapter," and he heartily agreed.

He's happy for his cousin. He and his parents spent a long weekend in Southern California, and my nephew got to hold his cousin's baby girl (born in November) for the first time. He was touched by how fulfilled she was by motherhood. The family spent an afternoon at the Nixon Library in Loma Linda, and he got to sit behind a replica of Nixon's Oval Office desk and board the helicopter the Nixon's used to leave the White House the last time. For a political junkie, this was a high point.

He's thrilled by the Cubs' rotation. With the addition of Yu Darvish, aren't we all? I'm impressed by how knowledgeable he is. There were seasons, when he was a little boy, where we would read the box scores and batting averages together and I felt he was indulging me. I'm happy to see it's something he enjoys on his own. Cub fandom is his birthright, you know.

Girl Scout cookies. I bought a box. I'm not proud to report that was dinner.

Saturday 9

The Love Club (2013)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.

1) Lorde has said this song is about a time when she fell into "a bad crowd." Her high-maintenance new friends were all about their romantic dramas and it overwhelmed her. Have you ever had a friend who was just too much work? Oh, yes! I don't mind friends who are hard work if they invest in me, as well. But my coworker expects me to hang on her every word and then calibrate my responses based on her moods. Yet when I called the office to tell her I had to deal with a breast cancer scare (I'm fine, thank God!), her entire response was, "Yeah, OK."

2) She sings that she longs to be alone. Where do you go when you want peace and quiet? I cocoon at home. Sometimes my perfect weekend is one where the only person I speak to is the pizza delivery man.

3) Lorde credits her mother for encouraging her verbal skills. "Mum" let her join a theater class when she was just 5 and was always giving her books. Tell us about an encouraging, understanding adult who assisted you when you were growing up. My Cousin Rose. She was wonderfully supportive of me during my difficult teen years. When I think about how terrific she was then, it makes me sad to see how bitter she's become over time. But we love each other. We never let more than a week go by without reaching out.

4) Lorde is not the only celebrity from her class at Belmont School in Auckland, New Zealand. Olympian Eliza McCartney was a classmate who went on to win a bronze medal in Rio for the pole vault. Did you participate in any sports in high school? No.

6) Lorde wrote music for one of the Hunger Games soundtracks. Have you seen any of the Hunger Games movies, or read any of the books? No. I can never keep up with the movies and books I want to consumer, and The Hunger Games encompasses two genres I don't have much time for: YA and sci-fi. So, no.

7) Her favorite candy is Peanut M&Ms. Do you prefer Milk Chocolate, Peanut, Almond, Mint or Cripsy M&Ms? Peanut!

8) When Lorde was on stage at Lollapalooza, a sudden storm interrupted her set. The music festival was evacuated and her performance was cancelled. Can you think of a time when the weather had a major impact on your plans? Between Christmas and New Year's, my friend Joanna and I just couldn't get it together to
celebrate and, indirectly, it was because of the severe cold. She was just getting over a chest cold and inhaling the frigid air hurt.


9) Random question: Please complete this sentence -- Before I leave the house, I always __________________________.    
I always make absolutely sure I have my keys. I'm more than a little obsessive about it.



2 1/2 hours!

Henry called Thursday night and we blabbed, and blabbed and blabbed. It was great to reconnect with him. I don't know why he reached out, but I'm glad he did. I've been feeling adrift, and it's good to know that I'm tethered to people who love me.

Family was on his mind. He told me a story he'd never mentioned before -- that his paternal grandfather shot (but didn't kill) his grandmother. He was so matter of fact about it that it was almost as if he didn't realize that not everyone has a shooting in their family tree.

More important to him Thursday was another family legend -- this his father has an illegitimate daughter in New York City. Dad has always denied it, Mom believes it or doesn't (depending on how hostile she happens to be feeling toward Dad that day), and Henry isn't sure. But he was thinking about it in terms of his parents' relationship, how his father never loved his mother the way she deserved.

The subject of family returned him to us. How he loves me, how I'm the sister he chose, and if he hadn't moved from Puerto Rico to Chicago to attend and teach at Northwestern, we never would have met and how sad that would have been. So many of my relationships lately have felt transactional -- specifically based upon what I can do for you -- and it was lovely and comforting to hear this from my old, dear friend.

He's been exploring these feelings for his writing. He's been attending a poetry workshop and working through his relationships, especially the one with his father, through writing. I completely support this because Henry deserves to be at peace. But when our call hit the two hour mark, I had to start winding it down. I had an early meeting Friday morning!