WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up

1. What are you currently reading? Silver Spire by Robert Goldsborough. Set your time machine back to 1980s New York. A charismatic minister at the forefront of the new wave of televangelism discovered threatening letters in the collection sack (a plate isn't big enough for the money that rolls in). To get to the bottom of this scary situation, the Rev.'s top assistant ends up where many prominent but troubled New Yorkers of the day went – on the steps of Nero Wolfe's brownstone.

I'd hang around that brownstone if I could. There's Nero Wolfe himself, genius investigator, who is as lazy and irascible as he is brilliant. I love his reluctance to work when there is quiet pleasure to be had, reading, drinking beer, and tending his orchids. Which brings us to Theodore. He's a jerk, but this gardener is the only one Wolfe trusts with his prized orchids. Fritz is the household manager/cook, and he's adorable. Charming, dedicated and talented, he whips up dishes like poached shad with sorrel sauce for lunch. Best of all, there's Archie Goodwin. He's Wolfe's right hand man, keeper of the books and the secrets, the one who actually gathers the clues. He may not have Wolfe's IQ, but he's clever and witty – a good detective with a bad attitude when confronted by authority. He also loves baseball, poker and women. I've always been more than a little in love with Archie, so I'm enjoying this.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Nobody Heard a Thing by Angela Henry.  Decades ago, two little girls went to the park after school. One was abducted in plain sight of the other and never seen again. A documentarian shows up in the sleepy midwestern town to take a fresh look at this cold case on its 25th anniversary. She starts digging around and old rumors and new theories surface. People start getting dead. Is it tied to the long-ago abduction, or is bucolic Elmhurst now under siege from a serial killer?

 

The plot of this book is first rate.  Zig zag. Twist turn. It goes in unexpected directions and yet, looking back, it all made sense. Which is not to say I liked or recommend it. The main character, Ava, is an idiot. For real. She experienced trauma as a child – seeing her friend snatched before her eyes – and yet exhibits no caution, apprehension or even common sense. She repeatedly puts herself in harm's way for no particular reason. No, wait! Here's the reason: She has to behave this way to move the story along. I wish Ms. Henry put as much care into character development as she did into her intricate plot.

3. What will you read next?  Don't know.

 

  

 

He called me "dear"

There's a venerable coffee house in my neighborhood.  It's been in the same spot for 41 years. You have one in your neighborhood, too. Family owned, laminated menu, breakfast all day. It's where everyone eventually ends up because while they do nothing really well, they do a little of everything. Omelettes, burgers, salads. When you and your friends can't come to a consensus, you come here.

The one in our neighborhood has hit hard times. Much of it has to do with construction. The road in front of the coffee house is torn up to replace the water and sewer lines. There's some problem with parking, too, but since I don't drive I don't pay attention. 

For the first time in memory, this restaurant is really struggling. Times are tougher now than during covid. One of the waitresses posted a video of the owner, sitting alone at the empty counter, looking out onto empty booths. She captioned it: George is worried.

Let me tell you about George. The restaurant owner was born in Greece and is now in his 70s. He's usually stationed by the register, near the door. I wouldn't say he "greets" customers because he's very gruff. No "hello" or "good morning," he addresses you by telling you how many are in your party and points you to a table or booth. ("Four. Sit back there.") Years ago, he and I had a stand-off because he stopped giving pennies as change but didn't post it near the register. I stood there waiting for my 3¢ and he just wordlessly stared at me until I finally figured it out on my own. I didn't take it personally. 

 

Because he's George. He's always been there, seven days a week, growling like a toothless old lion. Years ago, his youngest son took active management of the restaurant and seemed to know how irascible George appeared. While Dad glowered from the register, his gregarious son moved from table to table, topping off customers' coffee and making everyone likes the hash browns. 

 

Four years ago, George's son suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack. George seemed to visibly shrink. A framed photo of his son is now beside the register.

 

This restaurant prevailed through covid and the loss of George's son. I can't have it close down now because of a sewer.  

 

I've been going out of my way to dine there more. Since I travel by shoe leather, not car, I'm not deterred by road construction or parking issues. And, for my friend Nancy's birthday, I asked her and her husband to join me there for lunch to celebrate.

 

My guests stopped in the restroom while I settled the check. George spoke to me.

 

"Your friend had nice birthday?" he asked. Obviously he'd been eavesdropping on our conversation. I assured him she had. As I put my change (no pennies) in my wallet, he said, "Thank you, Dear."

 

George called me "dear." I've been floating on air ever since.

 

Photo by Tyrone Sanders on Unsplash 

Sunday Stealing

National Oreo Cookie Day

1. Are you able to pass by a plate of cookies and not take one or are you a bit of a "Cookie Monster?" I'm so monstrous I don't even bother with a plate. I reach in and grab from the box. 

2. Tell us about your favorite cookie. Have your tastes changed since you were a kid? I don't buy them often, but Nilla Vanilla wafers make me happy.

 

3. Enquiring minds want to know if you are a dunker and, if so, do you dunk in milk, coffee, or tea? When I dunk, I dunk in milk. But I don't dunk that often.

4. It is that time of year and they are selling them on every corner and in front of every store!  Do you buy Girl Scout cookies and if you do, which is your favorite? I missed all those girls in front of the bank and the bookstore last weekend! If I had purchased cookies, it would have been peanut butter sandwich.

5. Raw cookie dough. Yay or Nay? Nay. I don't bake, so I seldom come in contact with raw cookie dough.

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Linger (1993)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Dolores O'Riordan of the Cranberries sings that her lover has her wrapped around his finger. Do you feel that anyone has you wrapped around their finger? These two. My girlcat (the one in the foreground) especially can get me to bend to her will.

2) This was one of the first songs Delores and Noel Hogan wrote together. They performed it often live and perfected it before going into the studio to record it approximately two years later. Because they had polished the performance and arrangement, it's not a surprise that it was the biggest hit off their debut album. Tell us about a time when your preparation paid off. Every morning when I have to be somewhere at a specific time. If I don't prepare the night before – choosing my outfit, making sure I have what I need in my purse, etc. – I promise you I will be late.

3) The Cranberries believed the moody black-and-white video (linked above) playing on MTV contributed to the song's popularity. MTV and VH1 were highly influential when they showed music videos and interviews 24/7 during the 1980s and 1990s. Do you recall watching music videos on MTV and/or VH1? Oh yes! Video premieres were actually events. I remember that in 1991, my friend John changed my birthday party from a get together at a bar to a viewing party at his house so we could all see Michael Jackson's "Black or White" for the first time together on MTV.

 

4) The Cranberries were founded by brothers Noel and Mike Hogan in their hometown in Limerick, Ireland. The River Shannon runs through Limerick. Do you live near a river? I love the Chicago River. If you ever visit my favorite town, I recommend you spend more time on the River Walk than at Navy Pier on Lake Michigan. I understand that Lake Michigan can be breathtakingly beautiful (they're called Great Lakes for a reason!), but the River Walk is right there, smack dab in the middle of the Loop. It's a bit less touristy, and you get a better sense of who really lives in Chicago. At lunchtime and for happy hour, the River Walk is a great place for office workers to congregate.

 

 5) Fergal Lawler soon joined the brothers and became the Cranberries drummer. Today he says he enjoys listening to his early work with the group because, "Songs are like a snapshot in time." Do you often flip through photo albums and look at snapshots? No. I'm afraid it would make me too sad. My favorite uncle, my mom, my friends Henry and John are all gone and I miss them very much.

6) Dolores O'Riordan showed up for her Cranberries audition dressed casually in a black tracksuit with her own Casio electronic keyboard tucked under her arm. The Hogans were impressed not only by her vocals but her no-nonsense, "let's get to work" attitude. Share a memory from one of your job interviews. I was interviewing for a job I knew I wasn't really qualified for. I remember I wore a beige/white checked jacket and a beige skirt. I was afraid I was going to be late so I ran up the escalator. This gentleman who was riding the escalator down craned his head around to check out my legs and butt and smiled. I know what I'm about to say isn't PC, but that gave my confidence a boost and I think I did better in the interview because I felt attractive. BTW, this was 32 years ago. I still remember his smile. Wherever that now 70something man is, thank you. (This was about the same time as the birthday party I referenced in #3. Funny how my mind goes back to that time.)

7) In 1993, when "Linger" was released, The Nanny premiered on CBS. It's remembered today for its catchy theme song, which tells the story of "the nanny named Fran." Can you recall the lyrics to theme of one of your favorite shows? ♪  I'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour, I'll be there for you like I've been there before, I'll be there for you cause you're there for me, too. ♪

8) In 1993, gas was $1.11/gallon. Could your vehicle use a fill-up right now? No car.

9) Random question: How many pairs of shoes do you own? Too many. I have three pairs of athletic shoes, two pairs of Crocs (don't judge me) and entirely too many pairs of Birkenstock sandals. I only have one pair of dressy shoes. I should do something about that. Note to self: NO MORE SANDALS! Get a nice pair of flats instead. 

Thursday Thirteen #453

The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. I have a sinking feeling that once it is closed for "renovation" on July 5, this beautiful building will go the way of The East Wing. I fear we will never be able to recover what this President has taken us. So I'm taking a moment to focus on that jewel on The Potomac.

1. In 1958, President Eisenhower signed legislation authorizing a National Cultural Center in the nation's capital. The bill allowed for partial federal funding, but private donors were needed. Fundraising was not successful.

2. In 1962, John and Jacqueline Kennedy used the White House bully pulpit and their personal star power to bring attention to the project. They were able to raise $30,000,000 in private funds ($320,000,000 in today's dollars).  

3. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy was the Honorary Chairman and, in civility unimaginable today, invited her predecessor Mamie Eisenhower to join her on the board.

4. The Center's stated mission has always been to "meet the highest level of excellence and reflect the cultural diversity of the United States."

5. After JFK's assassination, Congress changed the name from the National Cultural Center to The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. 

6. This could be the most important sentence of this post: Congress designated it a memorial to John F. Kennedy. This means that, legally, it is the same as the Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln Memorials. Donald Trump had no right to add his name, anymore than he could carve the T-R-U-M-P down the side of the Washington Memorial. Yet he did it anyway. Congress does not have the spine to stop him, anymore than it stopped him from demolishing The East Wing. 

7. The groundbreaking took place on December 2, 1964, with the first shovel of dirt being dug by President Lyndon Johnson. The Center was first open to the public in 1971.

8. Nations from all over the world donated works to The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts out of respect for the late President. A Hall of Nations thanks these countries by displaying their flags. When I visited The Center, I found this very moving. Countries the world over wanted to honor our fallen President in a tangible way.

9. I've toured the Center twice and thought the most breathtaking gift came from Austria. It's the crystal chandelier in the opera house. It's both huge and delicate and looks like edelweiss. I hope it's handled with care as the Trump Administration "renovates" the Center.

10. Jacqueline Kennedy commissioned Leonard Bernstein to create "an original musical theater work" for the The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. When Mass premiered in 1972, she attended on Bernstein's arm. 

11. There's a permanent exhibit dedicated to The Arts and Ideals of President John F. Kennedy. Aimed at schoolchildren, this immersive program reflects JFK's belief that "there is a connection – difficult to explain but easy to feel – between achievement in public life and progress in the arts." (Yeah, we once had a President who spoke like that.)

12. A medallion commemorating Eisenhower's early role in the establishment of the Center is displayed on the box tier of the theater.

13. I've dined twice at The KC Cafe. Not the more glam sitdown restaurant (that's the Roof Terrace), the KC Cafe is a more affordable cafeteria with absolutely breathtaking views of The Potomac.

History matters. I do not trust the Trump Administration to respect Eisenhower's initial vision, JFK's memory and the beautiful tributes sent to us from around the world when he died. 

 

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

Not unhappy

These have not been the best of days. Our President has plunged us into a war of choice with Iran, so people will die to keep us from mentioning The Epstein Files and that word he maintains was just made up: "affordability." No matter that between cuts by DOGE and cuts by the FBI we have lost a shit ton of the institutional bureaucratic infrastructure that keeps us safe from foreign terrorism. The important thing is that the electorate is distracted, just the way Dear Leader likes it. We must never forget that it's all about Donald Trump.

Photo by Sasun Bughdaryan on Unsplash  

And my back is killing me. It started out as a nagging pain in my heel that made walking difficult. Now it's a radiating pain across the small of my back. If I am still, I am fine. But moving is hard. I've seen the chiropractor twice and have another appointment scheduled. I am hoping to feel real improvement soon.

So it would be understandable, I suppose, if my mood were dark. But really, it's not.  

Things are better at the card shop, and I predict they will get better still.  Emily is our temp – and rumor has it, soon to be permanent – store manager, replacing Helena. Emily is, as Belle Watling said of Melanie Hamilton, "a human being." She has commonsense, compassion and leadership qualities. She is in charge of hiring Caroline's replacement, and I trust her judgement.

Also, Emily is a Hispanic lesbian of about 35 who is helping to raise her niece. Kamiliah, the shift manager I've been working with most lately, is a thirtysomething black woman with whom I have bonded over our love of our cats. One of Kamiliah's felines is diabetic and has food allergies. Early in our working relationship I could tell she was embarrassed to be taking phone calls from the vet during her shift. I told her there was no need, that I admire her for making her cat a priority. We've been comfortable and rather fond ever since. There's Mayuko, the lovely sales associate who is working to pay for her IVF treatments and has shared her journey with me. Most of all there's Zoey. A journalism major at Columbia (and a massive Beatle fan), she loves bouncing ideas off me and I enjoy encouraging her as she heads toward a writing career.

Their demographics are important to me. One of the things I missed most about my life in advertising was the diversity. Knowing people with different life experiences, of different faiths, races and ages and different sexual orientations than mine, enriches me and lifts my spirit.

 

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up

1. What are you currently reading? Nobody Heard a Thing by Angela Henry  Ava and Brooke were playing together after school. They had a dumb argument over ice cream and angrily went their separate ways. After they parted, while still in view of one another, Brooke was snatched in a "stranger danger" abduction, and never seen again. The case was never solved. Fast forward 25 years. The true crime culture is thriving and a documentarian wants to take a fresh look at this cold case. Ava, now a complicated 35-year-old, is upset and on edge as she relives her childhood trauma. But is she depressed, paranoid, or actually in danger? After all, whoever took Brooke got away with it, and she's the only witness. 

 

I was unfamiliar with Angela Henry until I picked up this book, but she's good at creating a sense of creepiness and dread. 

 

BTW, Ms. Henry is a black author. She specifies the race of each character in the book. This got me thinking – unless I'm told otherwise, I just always assume everyone I'm reading about is white. I never realized that before. 

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? G-Man: J. Edgar Hoover and the Making of the American Century by Beverly Gage. I spent more than a month on this deep dive into the life and career of the first FBI director. He saw much, having served under eight Presidents, and was at the center of American law and culture for decades. This book was balanced, detailed and well researched. But I did not enjoy it.

 

I learned a great deal about what happened in America during the first three quarters of the 20th century, so I'm not sorry I read it. From John Dillinger to The Lindbergh Kidnapping to The Warren Commission to The Black Panthers, Hoover was a consequential player. So why wasn't I more engaged? Because Hoover lived an opaque life. After more than 800 pages, I have no greater sense of what brought him joy or pain or what motivated him – beyond grievance and the need for order. 

 

Is this Gage's fault, or Hoover's? I don't know. But this book did not deliver what I'm hungry for when I pick up a biography.  

3. What will you read next?  Something light.

 

  

 

Sunday Stealing

Survey Asks ...

1. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? I will consume between 15 and 20 oz. of Coca Cola today. (If I don't pay attention, I'd chug it all day.)

2. Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? Jen, one of the women I know from the card shop. It's Girl Scout cookie season! Jen was sharing her intel on where the local troops will be selling this weekend.

3. Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? I live along the tracks. I can hear the commuter trains, the el trains and the freight trains (noisiest of all) around the clock. It's a very comforting white noise. We had a big snowstorm in 2011 that halted the trains and, to borrow a phrase, the silence was deafening ... and downright scary. I was so relieved to hear that familiar rumbling resume.

4. Have you ever been hospitalized due to dehydration? Kinda. In 2022 I spent 8 hours in the ER (but was not admitted) after stabbing abdominal pains. I was diagnosed with kidney stones and was dehydrated as a result of the stones. It was not serious in that my life was not threatened, but oh! I have never been in pain like that before.

Self-portrait of me in the ER that night. When I wasn't scared, I was bored.

5. Someone texts/IMs you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply? I wouldn't see it because my cellphone is either on the kitchen counter or in my purse, nowhere near my bed.

6. Do you grind your teeth?  Yes.

7. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise, or do you blast it? I blast it.

8. Are you wearing nail polish? I have a pedi.

9. Do you have an ice maker in your refrigerator door? No.

10. Do you have a friend named James? These certainly are random questions! No, I don't know anyone named James.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Farewell, Amanda (1949)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. 

 

1) The record begins with a long instrumental interlude, and when the lyrics kick in at about the 1:00 mark, they bid Amanda "farewell, adios, addio, adieu." Of course you recognize "farewell" as English. Without looking it up, can you identify the other languages? Spanish, Italian, French.

 

2) Can you say "goodbye" in a language not represented in question #1? Aloha!

3) The lyrics reference a night full of stars. When did you last take a moment to check out the night sky? I glance out the living room window every night. Does that count as "checking out?"

 

4) This song was written for Adam's Rib, a comedy starring Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. The movie is about husband-and-wife lawyers who square off against one another in court. Have you ever served on a jury? Yes. I've gone down to the courthouse four times, been through voir dire three times and was chosen twice. 

 

5) "Farewell, Amanda" was composed by Noel Coward. Though best known as a playwright, he also wrote more than a thousand songs and was a director and an actor. His epitaph reads, "A talent to amuse." How would you like to be remembered? As someone who tried to live a purpose driven life. 

  

6) There's even a book of Noel Coward paintings. It was published after his death, in part because Coward considered himself only an amateur painter. When did you last pick up a paintbrush? About four years ago. It wasn't for the sake of art. I was touching up the floorboard heater in the bathroom.

 

7) In 1949, when audiences first heard "Farewell, Amanda," Americans began playing Clue. What's the last board game you played? Don't recall.

 

8) The best-selling novel of 1949 was Point of No Return by John P. Marquand. Tell us about the last book you finished. Just yesterday I finished an 800+ page biography of J. Edgar Hoover. I learned a lot about America in the 20th century, but little of it was pleasant. 

 

9) Random question: Growing up, did you share a bedroom? No. Unless cats count, I've never shared a bedroom for longer than a vacation.

 

   

Thursday Thirteen #452

What I value. President Joe Biden said, "Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value." That quote is top of mind for me because I recently sat down with my accountant to discuss tax deductions for my 2025 return. This list of the 13 organizations I gave the most to (listed highest to lowest) does say something about me.

1. My church.

2. My local food pantry. Because these are my neighbors. In addition to monthly cash contributions, I also throw a non-perishable ($1.25 or less) into my cart every time I go grocery shopping. Today it was a can of corn (89¢). Anyway, by doing that, I'm able to bring a bag of food over to the pantry in person every month without even feeling a pinch. 

3. Doctors without Borders. If you're like me, you see stories about Ukraine or the international impact of DOGE cuts and you wonder, "What can I do?" Through my monthly donation to DWB, I am helping provide aid. 

4. Feeding America. This national organization supports food pantries and meal programs all across the country. 

5. Harmony House for Cats. Chicago has many animal shelters. I've chosen to give monthly to this one. They do great work, but they don't get a lot of publicity.

6. Greenpeace. I do this for my late mother. She often worried aloud about the impact of climate change on endangered species.

7. The Night Ministry. The homeless are our neighbors. The Night Ministry supports them with food, shelter, and medical care. 

8. The Carter Center.  I made the first of my 2025 contributions to this organization in memory of Kathleen's mother. Kathleen has a very big family with lots of siblings, so I was afraid any floral arrangement I sent to the funeral would be lost among amid a sea of FTD deliveries. I know Kathleen found Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter's post-White House work inspiring and thought this would be a nice way to comfort her. Anyway, now I'm on their mailing list and I support their efforts to promote peace and health across the globe. The Center refers to their efforts as "Waging Peace." Contrast that with the current POTUS, who insists on referring to the Department of Defense as the Department of War. I'm happy to support The Carter Center's work.

9. Fried's Cat Shelter. I do this for my late uncle. It was his favorite charity. It was started in the 1970s by the Frieds, Jewish immigrants who escaped the Nazis by coming to America in 1939. After they retired, they bought an abandoned motel in Michigan City, IN, and turned it into a no-kill shelter for homeless cats. Their time under Hitler taught them, "To save a life is more in conformity with God's law than to kill." Every cat who enters Fried's is guaranteed a home for life, whether with an adopter on in loving care at the shelter.

10. WTTW – Channel 11. It's Chicago's PBS station. The Trump Administration has been behind the defunding of public television, and it's up to those of us who care about local news to do our part to help make up the shortfall. 

11. Marine Toys for Tots. I worked in advertising for decades, and I began my career working at Sears, writing about toys for The Wish Book. I commercialized Christmas, and this is my penance. I don't want any wee one to be disappointed because they didn't get a toy from Santa.

12. Lincoln Presidential Foundation.  Kathleen has Jimmy Carter,  I've got Abe. People, especially children, need to learn more about him. Fortunately, since Mr. Lincoln was President before the 1950s when the formal system for Presidential libraries was established, it does not rely on Federal funding. The Trump Administration can't fuck with its staffing, like they did the JFK Presidential Library. Because it's state run, they can't fuck with the content, like they have with the Smithsonian. But that means it depends heavily on private donors.

13. World Wildlife Fund. I do this in my mother's memory, too. Polar bears, seals, elephants ... she often said she worried her great grandchildren wouldn't get to see these wonderful endangered animals. Whenever she was a little money ahead, she'd send $10 along to WWF. I like thinking how pleased she would be that I am expanding her good work, especially now that she has three great grandkids.

Before you give to any charity, make sure it's worthy of your money. Check it out at Give.org.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Sunday Stealing

Word Association. Share what comes to mind when you hear the word ...

1. Biscuit – Gravy. Or sauce. Sopping what's left on my plate is my favorite way to eat a biscuit or dinner roll.

2. Crayon – Back to school. Picking up my new box of Crayolas was a late summer ritual.

3. Warmth – Dry skin. The heat in here is brutal, especially on that spot on my back betwen my shoulders that I cannot reach.

4. Flip – Switch.

5. Slush – Snow.

6. Wing – and a prayer.

7. Candle – Pine. We sell this little votive candle at the card shop at Christmastime. My favorite place to stand is near the display so I can inhale the scent.

 

8. Cinnamon – "Let me in."  

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: With or Without You (1987) 

 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) "With or Without You" is about the pain of love. What song reminds you of an old romance? Is it about the joy of love or the pain? Lately this one has been going through my mind. I love the tension between sound of it – very upbeat – and the melancholy message. Our hearts get broken, but we get on with it. 

 

 

 

 

 

2) U2 lead singer Bono has admitted that, when the group recorded this song in the 1980s, he was wrestling with his real-life commitment issues. He was trying to resolve the responsibilities of being a husband with the demands of his career. He worked it through, and decades later both his marriage and his career are still going strong. Do you feel you have been more successful in your personal or professional relationships? Ha! My career, no question.

 

3) Bono credits his wife Ali with helping him through a tough period of writer's block, saying she put the pen in his hand each morning. What time of day finds you the most energized, productive or creative? Whenever I should be doing housework.

 

4) Bono likes to pedal around town when he's not onstage. What do you do for exercise? Yoga.

 

5) Bono is U2's lead singer, backed by three very talented bandmates: The Edge, Larry Mullen, Jr., and Adam Clayton. Bruce Springsteen is a big fan of U2's concert performances. If Saturday 9 were to bestow upon you a free ticket to any see any band or performer live, who would you choose? I just saw Sir Paul in November. It would be hard to top that.

 

6) U2 got together 50 years ago, when they were school boys in Dublin. Have you ever visited Ireland? If not, would you like to go? I've never been but were I to go to Europe, I'd plan to stop there.

 
7) In 1987, the year this song was popular, Cher won the Academy Award for Best Actress. Her most famous line was, "Snap out of it!" Without looking it up, can you name the movie that made her an Oscar winner? Moonstruck

 

8) Also in 1987, the first Starbucks opened. What's your standard Starbucks order? I don't drink coffee. I'll have hot chocolate, to be sociable with friends when we stop, or maybe just a bottle of water.

 

9) Random question – Which self-help book would you be more likely to pick up, the one designed to improve your body or your mind? Don't mean to sound contrary, but neither. I tried self-help books a while ago and found they didn't help me much. No judgement if you're into them, but I have found more success and contentment with therapy, prayer and introspection.

 

 

Where's my person?

Think back to 2005. There was a moment on the show Grey's Anatomy where Christina refers to Meredith Grey as "her person" and adds, "If I murdered someone, she is the one I'd call to help drag the corpse across the living room floor." 

They were besties.

Back in 2005, I was swimming in besties. I had my best friend, who was my work husband, with whom I never ran out of things to discuss. I had my oldest friend, my Kindergarten classmate, who shared so much of my history and could always, always make me laugh. There was John, my opposite number in so many ways, who broadened my horizons and made every Friday night an adventure. There was Henry, who only saw the good in me and loved me so.

My best friend moved. My oldest friend is battling emotional/physical issues that make her unavailable. John and Henry both died in 2024. Each of these losses has left a hole in my heart.

I have gone from lots of besties to no besties.

I am lucky in that I am only alone when I want to be. I just got a text from Nancy saying she and her husband miss me and they want to meet for lunch. Joanna sent me a chatty email because at movie group we didn't have enough one-on-one time together to share everything she had to say to me. Elaine saw that Norman Rockwell's Chicago Cubs in the Dugout is now here at The Art Institute and wants to see it with me. Mindy invited me along to see Bruce Springsteen at the United Center in April.*

But none of them are my besties. I can't imagine calling any of them to help me drag that pesky corpse across the living room floor.

So in 2026 my life is not the life I had in 2005. It's not the life I want and miss. But it's the life I have. I have people who care about me, I'm reasonably healthy, financially comfortable, and my adorable cats are right here looking for cuddles. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself, find joy where I can and face forward. 

 

*Can't go because of the TCM Film Festival. Yes, my life is pretty neat. I know that.

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #451

 Me fall down go boom. In late January I fell down at work and landed hard on my forearm. It left me with a big lump and a multi-colored bruise, and its progression toward healing has fascinated me.

1. A bruise happens when blood vessels break but the skin isn't broken.

2. My bruise is a hematoma, caused when a large amount of blood pools under the skin and causes a lump.

 

3. That big lump is my body's way of breaking down the blood that's collected there.

 

4. It could take months for the lump to fully heal and disappear. 

 

5. I should have elevated my arm right after I fell. Since my arm tends to hang at my side, the blood flowed down toward my fingertips, and the injury. Raising it would have slowed the flow. I did not do this. Because that would have inconvenient – I was at the store – and since it really didn't hurt very much, I didn't bother. I'm an idiot.

 

6. Had I iced it right after I fell, the lump may not have grown so big. I didn't do that, either. Again, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.

 

7. After two days, I applied a heating pad a couple times a day for a few minutes at a time. Finally! I did something right! Heat can gradually break down the lump and speed healing.

 

8. OTC pain relievers like ibuprofen can help with pain and reduce swelling. I did do this at bedtime the first night I had the bruise. 

 

9. Some websites recommend applying arnica cream to reduce pain and discoloration. I didn't take this advice. I don't have any, the bruise never really hurt that much, and I've kind of enjoyed watching the changes of the colors.

   

10. My bruise started out as dark purple. Now it's mostly brown with a little blue in spots. Other common bruise colors are red and green.

 

11. The color changes as the body reabsorbs the blood.

12. Women bruise more easily than men. It's a hormone thing. Our skin tends to be a little thinner.

 

13. Because I'm (gulp) a senior citizen, my skin is thinner still and provides even less protection to blood vessels.

 

How about you? Do you have any visible bruises right now?

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