WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? My Life by William Jefferson Clinton. I'm like, "Who is William Jefferson Clinton? He's Bill!" He's been part of my life now for more than half my life (35 years). He's charmed me, inspired me, and broken my heart. When he left office in 2000, I was happy to see him retire. The Lewinsky scandal exhausted and disappointed me personally. Bill and me, we needed a break.

 

But now in 2026, I'm ready to reassess. He was deeply flawed but charismatic and enormously talented. I'm a Kennedy Girl, I grew up on deeply flawed but charismatic and enormously talented. Bill Clinton had something JFK did not – the gift of time. I want to look at his life, at his eight years in office, now that I have some perspective. His accomplishments – peace in Ireland and Bosnia, FMLA, a balanced budget, international cooperation on the environment – somewhat mitigate the scandals. I believe he is a good man. I believe Donald Trump's scandals are far more dangerous and venal and doubt he is anything but an authoritarian. Maybe it's that contrast that makes me ready to view Bill Clinton not as the man in whom I personally invested so many of my dreams for the country, but as a President.

 

This is a reread for me. I got it as soon as it came out 20 years ago. I remember thinking at that time, "This sucker is long and Bill sure is blabby!" Let's see if I've matured in this regard, too. 

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Murder at the Movies by Alicia Malone. A 30-something Hollywood publicist named Audrey inherits a house and an old movie theater on an island just off the coast of Maine. So she pulls up stakes and heads off to make the theater a success as a revival house, showing the classic films she and her late grandmother both loved. Unfortunately, on the night of the grand reopening, someone dies. Was it an accident, or murder? (The title answers that for us.)

I'm like Audrey in that I can't stop quoting movie dialog and my friends roll their eyes, too. So I get all the classic film references and they delight me. I like the atmosphere Alicia Malone creates. Pine Island is a very specific place. The murder? I didn't guess the killer or ultimate motive, so that's a plus. But there were many times when I stopped and said, "Oh, come on!" The murder victim was so bad he wasn't a person, he was a cartoon. Some of the actions Audrey takes make no sense.

 

But I had a good time with it nevertheless. I know that this is book #1 in a series, and I'll be back this summer for #2. 

3. What will you read next? Bill and I are spending 900 pages together. I don't know that I'll ever be done!

 

  

 

Sunday Stealing

Getting to Know You 

1) Describe yourself in three words. Loyal. Introverted. Short.

2) What's your favorite dish at your favorite restaurant? The chicken parmesan sandwich.

3) Did you set goals for 2026? If yes, how are you proceeding toward them? My New Year's Resolution was to donate/rehome every month, and I was doing so well! Note that "was." Between fall being warmer than usual – which means I still haven't put my summer clothes away yet – and Postcards to Voters taking up so much of time, I skipped September and October isn't looking too promising either.

4) What's something you have learned the hard way? Just about everything. 

 

5) If you could skip one item on today's to-do list, what would it be? Laundry. But it must be done!

 

Cold and warm water, too!

 

 

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash 

Final total: 238

Now is the time for all good wo/men to come to the aid of their country. In the lead up to Tuesday, November 3, I've done (drum roll, please) 238 postcards.

Through Postcards to Swing States, I wrote to 200 registered Ohio Democrats. If Sherrod Brown doesn't reign victorious, it's not on me.

The Coke bottle is there for proportion, and because I couldn't have done this without caffeine.

Through Postcards to Voters, I wrote 20 for James Talarico in TX, 10 for Roy Cooper in NC and 8 for David Jolly in FL

When people tell me that while they're appalled by Trump and today's GOP, "but there's nothing I can do," I point them to these two postcard organizations. Trump has only been able to flex his Authoritarian muscles because the other two branches of government haven't been holding him accountable. So down ballot races – judges and aldermen through state legislatures and governors up to Congress and Senator – are key. From ICE on the streets to The Kennedy Center takeover to waging war in Iraq without the Congressional approval to Epstein and grift, none of this is legal. All of it could be stopped/slowed if we elect qualified people who will do their jobs. 

My late blogging buddy, Book Mama, turned me on to this. I can never send enough thanks to her in Heaven. I refuse to be helpless! Book Mama gave me this way to participate, to make a difference. We are not helpless!

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Somewhere Over Laredo (2025)

   

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

   

1) In this song, Laney Wilson namechecks Tito's Vodka. Is there a product you you are very brand loyal to? (It doesn't have to be liquor. Maybe you always reach for Dawn Dishwashing Liquid, even if another soap is on sale.) I'm a very sloppy Cat Lady, so I clean up a lot of messes and I take my paper towels very seriously. Viva is my favorite, but it's not always available. I like Bounty. I'll settle for Brawny. I will never, ever go store brand.

 

2) The lyrics start with her in a window seat on a flight out of Houston. Do you prefer the window or the aisle? Aisle. I hate asking people to move when I want to get up and stretch my legs or go to the bathroom.

 

3) She's dreaming of rodeo nights with the guy she loves. If you could spend this evening with anyone at all, anywhere at all, where would you go and who would be with you? I would go back to Key West and be with my late friend, Henry. Sitting on the water, bonding, enjoying one another's company. I took this photo on our last Christmas Day together. The memory tugs at my heart and makes me want to go back, but it will never be the same.

 

 

4) Lainey is from Baskin, LA, population 200. Do you prefer big cities or small towns? Oh, big city, all the way!

 

5) There's a Netflix documentary about Lainey called Keepin' Country Cool. What show have you recently streamed? I've been catching up on Modern Family. I don't know why I didn't watch it when it was originally on. I love all the characters so much. 

 

6) This week's song borrows liberally from "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," so much so that "Rainbow" songwriters Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg receive credit. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is the most beloved song from The Wizard of Oz. Can you name another? "Optimistic Voices." You may think you don't know it, but you do. It's sung when they finally get to the Emerald City. "You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night. Step into the sun, step into the light. March up to the gate and bid it open." If I'm alone, I sing along.

 

7) In 2025, when this song was popular, more patients took advantage of telehealth than ever before. Have you ever had a virtual doctor visit? Yes. After my test results come back, I ask for telehealth appointments to go over the results.

 
8) Also in 2025, smart home technology was integrated into more new home construction. Do you use smart devices to automate your lights, thermostat, or doorbell? We have a Ring doorbell.

 

9) Random question – On which day are you happier: a) the day you take off on vacation or b) the day you return home from your trip? I'm always happier when I come home. I miss my cats and am eager to get back. Plus, I don't like to travel and there's less stress coming home. Like, if the airline loses my bag on the return trip, it's nowhere near the big deal it would be on the day I arrive. 

 

 

 

Old Dog = New Trick

Ah, Christmas at the card shop! Yeah, I know it's not even Halloween yet. But yesterday, during my shift, we got 27 boxes of merchandise delivered, and at least 20 were all Christmas. It's overwhelming.

Before I tackled all that corrugated cardboard, I clocked in, filled my water bottle, and looked at the employee notices. I was shocked to see a December calendar, with the store's extended hours, and instructions for how to request holiday time off. My boss advised that she needed to know by November 15 in order to accommodate us.

Really? I made my holiday time off request back in June, and it came back denied.  I was told, "This is our busiest week and it's all hands on deck. No vacation requests are going to be approved. This is retail."

I was furious. I hate that tone: "This is retail."  I know what my job is here. I also know that I get no benefits and no paid time off. I know that in 2025 and 2024, my time off requests were honored. I know that my take home pay for this job is so minor that my financial planner doesn't even include it when developing my fiscal forecast. While we're cataloging things I know, I know I don't need this shit.

However, I didn't say any of that. I could tell back in June that my manager was parroting the edict of her boss, Eric. She usually doesn't talk that way. Since then, Eric has been transferred.  

My partner on the floor yesterday happened to be the store manager. It was just her and me for the whole four hours. We'd had a short power outage a few nights ago – I experienced it at my home – and though electricity was restored quickly, the power surge had blown out some of the store's circuitry. Until repairs were made, we'd been unable to accept anything but cash. Halloween is busy and lucrative, so this was a hit to the store's bottom line. One of our most popular vendors has pulled out of its contract with us. After decades. So when customers come in and ask for that specific brand, we get to tell them we simply don't have it anymore. 

See more here

My manager seemed so defeated, I just didn't have the heart to mention the holiday announcement to her. She started the small talk by asking me about The World Series. You know I can talk baseball for hours. Then I opened one of the shipping cartons and met Ulrich the Wolf. He is the softest, sweetest stuffed animal I've seen in forever. I oohed and aahed and was reluctant to put him down. 

"Look at his puppy paws!" I enthused. 

The encouraged her to show me pictures of her dog whose feet do, indeed, look like Ulrich's. You know what I can discuss even longer than baseball? Critters.

Finally, at the end of my shift, she brought up the holiday thing. She asked me if I'd be able to let her know by the 15th if I needed time off. I wanted to scream, "I TOLD YOU BACK IN JUNE!" I wanted to ask her what happened to, "This is retail?" 

But I know what happened. Eric was replaced, that's what happened.

Why put her in a position where she has to admit how little power she really has?

Do I think I'm owed an apology? Yes, I do. In her position, I'd offer one. But I could tell that in this way, my 30-something lesbian Hispanic boss is exactly like my ultra-WASP, WWII generation mom was. There are things it's easier to pretend never happened, and my June holiday request is one of them.

So I bit my tongue. Instead I promised her I'd have all my vacation time nailed down by my shift next week. I left feeling good about the whole situation.

I am learning – slowly – that my every thought doesn't need to be shared and my every impulse doesn't need to be acted upon. 

 
Photo by Siora on Unsplash  

Thursday Thirteen #484

 

 

Hot or cold? Ice packs and heating pads are inexpensive, powerful and medication-free ways to alleviate aches and pains. I'm a fan. But I'm often confused as to which I should reach for. And so I tooled around and here's what I found:

 

13 facts about ice and heat therapies.

 

1. If it's an injury or a pain that came on suddenly (like a bump or a bruise) you might want to reach for ice. 

 

2. Cold works by reducing swelling and numbing the nerves to relieve pain.

 

3. Ice works best if you apply it right away. An injury you received more than a day ago may not respond. 

 

4. Ideally you should press a cold pack on your skin and keep it there for 10 to 20 minutes. Then remove it and let your skin recover for an hour or two. Prolonged exposure to ice can damage your skin.

 

5. If instead of an ice pack you're using ice cubes, be sure to wrap them in a towel. Do not place a baggy of ice directly on your skin! 

 

6. It's also a cheap beauty treatment. Ice can quickly reduce under-eye puffiness.

  

7. If it's a recurring ache – the back ache you always wake up with or the stiff neck that regularly appears after too much screen time – try heat therapy.

 

8. Heat works by enhancing the blood flow and loosening tight muscles.

 

9. Do not use heat on swelling! You'll be hurting, not helping. Reach for a cold pack instead.

 

10. If you are feeling bloated or constipated, it might help to apply a heating pad to your abdomen. The heat can help relax abdominal muscles.

 

11. In my long-ago teen days, I found warm compresses helped with menstrual cramps. 

 

12. Similarly, when I was suffering from kidney stone pain, I found relief in a warm tub.

 

13. Dry, itchy eyes can benefit from heat because it stimulates tear production.

 

Remember, though, I'm just a curious gal with access to the internet. Do your own research and check with your own healthcare providers. 

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Murder at the Movies by Alicia Malone. A 30-something Hollywood publicist named Audrey inherits a house and an old movie theater on an island just off the coast of Maine. So she pulls up stakes and heads off to make the theater a success as a revival house, showing the classic films she loves. Unfortunately, on the night of the grand reopening, someone dies. Was it an accident, or murder? (The title answers that for us.)

 

This is the first of a "Movie Palace Mystery" series by my girl Alicia Malone. (There's another coming out this summer.) Alicia is one of my favorite hosts on TCM and has authored non-fiction about film so I know she can write. As cozy mysteries go, she's avoided some potholes. Example, what makes Audrey think she's qualified to investigate anything, much less a murder? Alicia addresses this rather neatly. Also, this book is filled to the brim with movie references, so I'm captivated. I especially like how when she introduces a new character, she says who should play them in the movie.

 

So I'm enjoying this thoroughly. Of course, I'm the target audience. I mean, cozy mystery series AND old movies? I'm so in! 

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Bill Clinton: Mastering the Presidency by Nigel Hamilton. This book is devoted to the Bush-Clinton transition and the first four years of the Clinton Presidency. I found it fascinating, illuminating, and ultimately very upsetting.

 

Hamilton gives us a Bill Clinton who is highly intelligent and empathetic, who wants to do good, but doesn't know how accomplish it. Hamilton – a Brit – repeatedly blames this on Clinton's lack of military experience. Bill simply didn't have the training or experience to be a chief executive. I'm a Clintonista and willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't buy it. He was Governor of Arkansas for more than a decade. He had no excuse for the chaotic start to his presidency except that (in my humble opinion) he trusted the wrong people and didn't want to make anyone close to him unhappy. Compulsive people pleasing is the flipside to all that empathy. 

 

Once he got the hang of being President, he was good at it. Better even than I recalled. I knew the economy was gangbusters and I credited his approach to deficit reduction. I forgot how he shored up Social Security and Medicare. In real time I was proud of the FMLA and remain so today. But I forgot how influential the US was on the American stage, and the affection/trust world leaders had for Bill Clinton. He was key to peace in Northern Ireland and the Bosnia and made us a trusted partner in international environmental issues. (Remember, we're still only in the first term here, too.)

 

But his first term was scandal plagued, and here's where it gets tricky. Hillary Clinton was greedy and not always scrupulous with the family finances. Whitewater was all her, and she didn't cover herself with glory. But it also happened when the Clintons were still in Arkansas, and the amount of money involved always was small. (The initial investment was $20,000; $60,000 adjusted for inflation.) Compare that to the grift going on now. From the White House. In broad daylight. The Trump family has monetized everything from Don Jr.'s wedding reception to the President's social media posts. 

 

Then there were the sex scandals. Remember, this is the first term. At this point, the press was unaware of Monica Lewinsky. But there was Bill's offhand harassment of Paula Jones – yes, I believe her and not him – and Troopergate. I'd completely forgotten Troopergate. But Bill Clinton was personally involved with trying to silence the Arkansas state troopers who once protected him by offering federal positions so they wouldn't talk about him getting blow jobs in pick-up trucks (among other places). It was tawdry. It was shameful. It's unseemly how unable he was to control his appetites. But still, shall we talk about Stormy Daniels? Is it time to mention Epstein yet? 

 

While we were unaware of Monica, the affair took place during Bill's first term and so Hamilton covers it.* I feel for her. It's a story as old as time: she was in love and he got laid. A man with Bill Clinton's ability to read people knew she was vulnerable and damaged and he took advantage of her because for no greater reason than that he could. The power differential is completely unacceptable. But she was 22 years old. By her own admission, she made the first move, flashing him her thong. How I wished he had responded to that not with a kiss but with a transfer to another federal building. As appalling as the Lewinsky story is – yes, I believe her, too – it doesn't hold a candle to Epstein. Monica Lewinsky was in the White House by choice. She was not trafficked or seduced. She was not a minor. (My mom had two kids at 22 years old.) 

 

So strangely enough, as I read about the lowest points in Clinton's first term, I felt like defending him and Hillary because they are nowhere near as appalling as Donald Trump. This book was written as George W. Bush was beginning his Presidency, when Donald Trump was still a developer, so my reaction was not Hamilton's intent, but there it is. I'm outraged by our lack of outrage today. What has happened to us?

 

Also, this book made me long for a time when the world liked us. So yes, in spite of it all, as the Fifth Dimension once sang, "Bill! I love you so, I always will ..."

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

  

 

*Though not the impeachment.

The Lovely Linda joins Sir Winston

 

What do Linda McCartney and Winston Churchill have in common? They are two of the only Brits to be honored by the USPS with a stamp. Though Linda was born in Scarsdale, at the time of her death she was Lady McCartney, a Subject of the Crown.

Buying these stamps today made me happy. I was so mean about her for so long! She was too plain for Paul. Her speaking voice was so flat. I hated her voice even more when she adopted that fakey English accent. She couldn't sing. She didn't shave her armpits. I knew she'd slept with Warren Beatty and Mick Jagger before she married Paul.

I was too young, too immature, too silly to see that a great 20th century love story was unfolding before my eyes. As the three other Beatles battled drugs and alcohol, Paul avoided all that. (OK, maybe not all that. We know the Macs loved their weed.) Together they raised four children. They were married more than 30 years, seldom spending a night apart. I believe part of why he's with us today, still performing at 84, is because he had Linda when he needed her most.

Of course, he was the bigger star. I realized while watching Stephen Colbert's last show, he's now probably the biggest star in the world. (Always kind of shocking because I forget he's not just mine.) But she wrote cookbooks, was a tireless environmental and animal right activist, and her photos were exhibited all over the world. In watching the documentary on Wings, Man on the Run, I learned that those who worked with her in those days had good things to say about her. Perhaps she took the heat publicly so that he could be forever lovable.

They're like characters from a Victorian novel: She was born into money and prestige, he was a slum kid. They improbably meet and build a celebrated life together. It's through the lad from the lower classes that the black sheep of an upper class American family ends up in the peerage. C'mon, tell me this wouldn't be a great Netflix series.

 

 

Sunday Stealing

Survey Asks ...

1. What was the last gift you received? My friend Mindy gave me this book. It's the perfect purse book. It fits in my bag and the chapters are very short and self-contained, perfect for a train ride or my break at work.

More about it here

2. Who did you last hang out with? My nephew and his girlfriend. We had pizza and they showed me their new apartment.

3. Do you often lose the remote? Only constantly.

4. When did you last check Facebook? Just now.

5. Are there scented candles in the room you're in? No. I don't trust my cats around candles.

6. Next time you leave the house, where will you be going? To the pharmacy for my flu and covid shots. (You're jealous, aren't you?)

7. Do you know anyone named Steven or Stephen or Steve or Stevie? Yes. He goes alternately by Stephen and Steve.

8. Which do you prefer: macaroni salad or potato salad? Potato salad.

9. Do you have an ice maker in your refrigerator door? No. I expect I'll be buying a new refrigerator soon, and that one won't have an ice maker, either. It's not that hard to use an ice tray. I mean, I'm not very handy and I'm not much of a cook, but I can make ice.

10. When you woke up this morning, did you get up straightaway or lounge a bit? I lounge. So much lounging.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Big Girls Don't Cry (1962)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) When is the last time you shed a tear? When I dropped my girlcat off for surgery. She didn't feel good and she didn't understand and I couldn't explain. You people with actual human children: I don't know how you do it!

2) Lyricist/producer Bob Crewe recalled he got the idea for this song while watching a movie on TV. "Big girls don't cry" was a line from the 1956 film Slightly Scarlet. Give us a quote from another movie. 

Her first line on-screen, Funny Girl

3) This inspiration came to Bob during the late night/early morning hours. What time of day are you most productive? Evening. Between 7:00 and 10:00 PM.

4) Bob wrote another song for the Four Seasons, "Silence Is Golden." The band was not happy with their recording and never released it as a single. Three years later, The Tremeloes had an international Top 10 hit with "Silence Is Golden." Tell us about a decision you wish you could do over. I think I forced a breakup. I might have given up on us too soon. But there's no going back, is there? I hope he's happy.

5) Before he got his big break, Four Seasons lead singer Frankie Valli worked as barber. Do you have a hair care appointment scheduled? Saturday afternoon. (I may be in the stylist chair as you're reading this.)

 
6) Oscar-winning actor Joe Pesci has a connection to the band. He was a young chum of Four Seasons founding member Tommy DeVito. By the time DeVito left the group and found himself overwhelmed by gambling debts, Pesci was a star. He helped his friend out, making Tommy his personal assistant and getting him cameo roles in films. Tell us about someone who has been there for you in tough times. I miss my late friend Henry so much. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me, and only ever saw the best in me. Even when I didn't deserve it. What a hole he has left!

 

7) The Four Seasons disbanded in 1977 after 17 years together. The original bandmates reunited onstage 1990 when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was an important night for them professionally and personally, too, as it gave the old friends a chance to reconnect and mend fences. Is there anyone from your past you wish you could reach out to? My former boss and theater buddy, Barb. After her husband died, she moved to Hilton Head and we lost touch. I don't even have a current address for her anymore. It's sad how easily we drifted apart.

8) Another hit song from 1962 was "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Tony Bennett compares San Francisco to Rome, Paris and Manhattan. Have you visited any of those four cities? San Francisco, Paris and Manhattan. 

 
9) Random question – You're home all alone. Do you close the door when you use the bathroom? Nope. 

 

 
 

 

I'm wearing black anyway

The Chicago White Sox have their backs against the wall and are facing elimination in the play-offs. But it's a miracle* this team got there at all, after two seasons of losing more than 100 games. These young men should be proud and so I've been wearing black on game days in their honor, since their uniforms are black.

That does not mean, though, that I have changed my opinion of White Sox fans. They are  hostile and spend way too much time wishing ill to my guys in Cubbie blue. "Cubs suck!" Much of their antipathy comes from their belief that Chicago is overwhelmingly a Cubs town. That my guys get all the positive attention. I hate to say it, but the Sox fans might be right about this.

When my Cubs were in the playoffs – a mercifully short matter of days, considering how badly they played – there were W flags everywhere and we were all wearing official Cubs gear. As the White Sox have valiantly defied the odds and moved from the Wild Card to the ALDS, I've seen ... nothing. No White Sox logos in store windows. No GO SOX on theater marquees or sidewalk chalk signs. I did see it on the bus. Every once in a while I see a man in a Sox cap, or a woman in a Sox hoodie, but it doesn't happen often. The first story on the local sports is just as often the Bears (who only play once/week) as the White Sox. 

So while the Cubs have a victory song, the White Sox have a whine:

 

 

*A term I don't use lightly, considering their biggest fan is Pope Leo.

As someone once said ...

"What's love got to do with it?" I had dinner last week with my old friend, Mindy, and it upset me. Yes, a week on, I'm still tossing it over in my head. Maybe writing about it here will help me purge it.

Mindy and I have known one another for decades. We're Beatle-bonded, both Paul girls. We were once extraordinarily close – talking every day, vacationing together. Then our lives went in different directions. She got married, moved to the North Shore, started having babies. It isn't so much the domestic side of the equation that came between us as lifestyle. Mindy and her husband have different values than I do. Example: when they visited my new condo for the first time, he commented on my 24" set, "You must not watch much TV."* No, I watch entirely too much TV. I just don't want my TV to be the focal point of the room, and I don't want to prematurely add electronics to the landfill by arbitrarily trading up to the newest. I think they can be superficial, I imagine they view me as sanctimonious. 

Anyway, Mindy and I met for dinner. She was sweet, as always, and brought me a thoughtful gift. I asked her all about her recent trip to Scotland. During the planning, it sounded epic. Her husband, newly retired, wanted to celebrate by playing on legendary golf courses. They traveled with their adult sons and their wives. I had so many questions! Did they all sit together on the flight? What did the womenfolk do when their men were on the links? Do the sisters-in-law get along? What's it like to be Americans overseas in the Age of Trump? Did they stay in a hotel or an Airbnb? How was the food? 

She cut me off and changed the subject to me. Only she didn't ask about me. She wanted to know if I've traveled this summer. Nope. This seemed to make her sad. Then she asked for a recap of the TCM Film Festival back in April. We've talked since then, she knew all my stories. So I tried to come up with some new material. 

I started to tell her about Doug. A SoCal native, I see him annually at the TCM film festival and frankly, for years it was awkward. He's very MAGA and outspoken about it. (During the first post-covid festival, he flouted the mask rules and mocked those of us who followed them.) I don't feel like having my every choice attacked and politicized, especially when I'm on vacation. Anyway, Doug witnessed his wife Laura and I bond over baseball and suddenly he saw my charming side.† He has joined our movie group via Zoom several times since and brightens whenever he sees me. We're now in the same Facebook/TCM group and he always likes my posts. This makes me happy. I don't like being mad at the 37% of America that still somehow supports Trump. One of the things I loathe most about my President is that he tries to exploit our differences and I resist that. Donald Trump has cost this country so much, I'm not going to let him take my humanity away, too.

I told Mindy this story, hoping she would tell me how she deals with MAGA in her own life. Instead, she took it another way. She seemed sorry that Doug wasn't single and we couldn't pursue romance.

What the ever-loving fuck?

She asked me if I was "open" to relationship. No. I'm too old and set in my ways and besides, I don't want anyone to see me naked these days. She said, "But his body wouldn't be perfect, either." "Then why would I want him?" I was joking!

She went on to tell me that, if I had a partner, I'd have someone to take care of me when I get sick.

Yeah, that's why I want a lover. So I can be a burden on him. What a very transactional way to look at life in the final innings.

So as I got on the train, I realized that Mindy feels sorry for me. She seems to see me as a lonely, loveless Cat Lady who doesn't travel. Poor, poor pitiful me.

I rail against this! I do not accept victimhood. I see myself as a woman who struggled with the unexpected emotional impact of retirement and came through. I am rebuilding my life after losing two of my best friends within months of one another in 2024. I am trying to establish new friendships with new boundaries and I'm doing my best.

I don't want to go to Europe. It's not the money, Mindy. It's that I don't feel like it. The trips I'd like to take would seem very small to her – Graceland, the spa at Colonial Williamsburg, Springfield and my man, Abe. Most of all, I'd love to go back to the Kennedy Center and celebrate that it's survived Trump, too. These things would make me very happy, but right now I'm content with my two planned trips to Michigan to see Baby Violet and my upcoming week in Hollywood for TCMFF 2027. 

And if I fall in love again, it will be because I want to spend time with someone who touches my heart and stirs my soul. Not someone who is willing to change my diapers.

 

*I'm amused that he often watches sports on his phone. On. His. Phone. That's a 5" screen! So it's not really about screen size or resolution, it's about having the coolest new toy. Which is fine if it makes him happy. It's just not for me. 

†I have noticed men find me especially adorable when I'm talking about my Cubs. I think it's because they don't expect me to know what I'm talking about and are delighted when I do. The same way you're surprised when you go to the children's zoo and see a chicken play the piano. I suppose I could find this condescending, but I choose not to.

Thursday Thirteen #483

A workout for your imagination. That's how former Cub manager Joe Maddon recently described reading. He said he has workout equipment for his upper body, and a machine for his legs, and books for his brain.

Because I appreciate Joe's take on most things, and since I'm a book lover myself, here are ...

13 facts about reading and readers

1. According to the National Endowment for the Arts, just 38% of Americans are regular book readers. 

2. Chicago's own Rush University Medical Center studied more than 5,000 individuals over 14 years and found that the ones who read regularly were at a lower risk of developing Alzheimer's. 

3. Cambridge University studied the brain structure of teenagers and learned that the areas of the brain tied to memory and attention were stronger among readers. 

4. At Yale, researchers concluded that regular readers live an average of two years longer than non-readers. 

5. Reading a book – fiction or non-fiction – is good for memory because you have to remember names, relationships and motivations.

6. The greatest benefits come from books or long articles. Scrolling through social media encourages you to skim, whereas reading requires you to analyze. 

7. For a newspaper or magazine article to deliver brain health benefits, it should be long enough to fully engage your imagination and concentration. (Remember, no skimming.) 

8. It can teach empathy. Whether it's a 300-page book or a 6,000-word magazine profile, reading introduces you to, and gives you greater understanding of, someone else's life. 

9. 30 minutes of reading a day: That's what the Yalies concluded is all we need to begin reaping benefits.  

10. Reading reliably reduces stress, similar to the way listening to music, drinking tea or sipping wine can.  

11. It's more effective than word-a-day exercises because it helps build vocabulary by presenting words in context when the imagination is engaged.

12. You should also read when you're reading. Meaning don't multi-task. No TV or music in the background. Your brain will thank you.

13. People who read make often do better in business because they can write better emails and make more cogent presentations. 

 How about you? Are you a regular reader? What are you reading now?

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.