Monday, March 18, 2024

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 18

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 18:

1) I used coupons. I'm OK financially now, but who knows how long my retirement will last? What if my hours never do pick up again at the card shop, or the stock market tanks and my mutual funds are worth less (or worthless)? I don't want to sacrifice today's pleasures because of a dire future that may never unfold. But I don't want to be stupid, either. Using coupons today to stock up on Gerber baby food (I melt Connie Cat's meds into it) and a free pizza for lunch/dinner was smart, and a form of self-care.

2) I always wave back. Today a little boy in stroller waved at me and I waved back. The woman walking her dog on the other side of the street ignored him. Maybe she didn't see him? Whatever. I always wave back. Whenever I'm near the Chicago River and the tour boats float by, I wave back at the tourists. I wonder how many vacation pics I've been in over the years. It's a tiny thing, I know, but I like myself for waving back.

3) I included lip balm. I hand out "blessing bags" to the homeless people I encounter. The staples are always a breakfast bar, a $1 bill, Kleenex and two single-use packs of Purell. I had included Hot Hands, handwarmers I got on sale at Target, but I ran out and besides, it's not that cold day in/day out anymore. So what can I add that I can afford? I found a big jar of 48 sticks of lip balm, various flavors, for just $25, or about 50¢/each. I figured chapped lips are a year-round problem, right? Today one of the gentlemen I help out on a regular basis called out to me on the street to tell me how much he liked the fruit flavors! Of course I gave him another bag, this time with a coconut lip balm. Anyway, I liked that I used my imagination, and that my choice was hitsville.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I was very snappish in movie group tonight. People were annoying me left and right and I didn't respond well. But this is supposed to be positive self talk, right?

 

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 17

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 17:

1) I can get to yes. Last weekend, I took my friend Nancy out to lunch for her birthday. It didn't go well because she grumped and bitched about everything. When she invited me to join her this weekend, I was tempted to decline because really, who needs the agita? It occurred to me, though, that she might feel bad about how her birthday celebration unfolded, too, so I gave her a mulligan. I'm happy to report it went really well, and she told me that she and her husband "always love spending time" with me.

2) I'm open and receptive. The outing with Nancy and her hubs was lunch but first a Purim spiel. I'd never been inside a synagogue before. I loved the play the congregation put on, with a multi-generational cast and Beatles music. It was inspiring and educational and I'm glad that my own faith is strong and secure enough that I can explore and respect someone else's. Attending an event in a synagogue felt both very Christian and very American to me, which leads me to ...

3) I'm a stereotype, but I'm OK with that. Scrolling through my DVR I happened upon All the President's Men, which I haven't seen in years. Watching Woodward/Bernstein battle for the integrity of the Constitution inspired me to write my Postcards to Voters. I like that I work to be an involved citizen.

 

 

Sunday Stealing

FRIDAY FIVE

1. What ONE thing would you change about your life? How would your life be different? I'd like to win the Illinois State Lottery. It would mean I no longer have to worry about how long my retirement funds will last.

2.  What is the hardest thing you have ever done? Why was it hard for you? What did you learn? I ended an abusive relationship. It was hard because I had to choose between his wishes and my own welfare, and that felt selfish. I learned that I matter, too, and deserve to be happy.

3. Write about the most glorious moment in your life so far. I'm lucky in that there have been so many glorious moments, I can't select just one.

4. Write about a moment you felt brave. I interrupted a rape in progress. I didn't quite understand what I was seeing at first, which helped me be brave. But when I did, I didn't leave. I called 911 and stayed with the victim until the police arrived. Then I rode in the police car and helped identify the perpetrator, who had managed to get about a mile away on foot and was dumping his shirt into a dumpster behind a restaurant. I was prepared to testify against him in court, but the case fell through because the victim wouldn't cooperate with the authorities. Her assailant was obviously ganged up and she feared retribution. I suppose I should have, too. But I didn't and don't. I would have testified.

5. What made you happy today? Playing with my Connie Cat. She is so freaking cute!


6. What did you dislike most about growing up? Confusing and confounding family dynamics.

7. Write about five activities you love the most and why you love them. 1) Caring for my cats; 2) Caring for my friends; 3) Reading books; 4) Watching baseball; 5) Watching movies. They all bring me tremendous pleasure.

8. Do you have an embarrassing moment that still makes you cringe? Yes. Since it still bothers me, I'm not going to recount it.

9. What has been your best trip so far? My first spa trip to Hot Springs, back in the 1990s. It was the first solo vacation I ever took and I enjoyed it immensely. It not only helped me relax and clear my head, it taught me that doing things alone suits me just fine. If you've never taken off by yourself to do something you want to do, I suggest you give it a try.

The Arlington in Hot Springs

10. What traits (physical or personal) do people notice when they meet you for the first time? That I'm a pudgy little woman of about 50. Which pleases me, since I'm a pudgy little woman of 66.

11.  Is social media a blessing or a curse? Like all forms of media, it is both.

12. What is your greatest hope for your future? What steps can you take to make it happen? This morning -- Sunday! -- I heard that Donald Trump dismissed some migrants by saying they aren't people. Yet so-called Christians continue to rally around him. (They clearly got a different New Testament than I did.) Trump must be stopped and at the ballot box, not in the courts. I will use my voice, my money and time toward re-electing Joe Biden.

Join us

13.  What did you struggle most with today? Nothing. I'm lucky that way. Since it's St. Patrick's Day, I'll call it the luck of the Irish.

14.  Name the biggest priority in your life right now. Doing right by those I love, living my values, being patient until April (and the start of baseball and my trip to the TCM Classic Film Festival)

15. What are 5 things you wish others knew about you. It's really all here in my blog. But to answer this specifically ... I think of something my friend Henry said of me once. He believed the lyrics of Tom Petty's "Free Falling" apply to me: I'm a good girl, I love(d) my mama, I love Jesus, America and Elvis.




Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 16

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 16:

1) I'm the cool aunt. I had lunch with my nephew today. We talked about his career aspirations and the upcoming baseball season. I like myself for being someone he's so comfortable/willing to spend time with me.

2) I'm doing something. I've known the guy who does my hair since high school. Today, as he was clipping and dying and styling, he shared that he agrees with me that Trump is "a threat" and he can't believe "anyone would vote for the guy." This is a big deal from someone I know just could not bring himself to vote for Hillary in 2016. So, I asked, if you believe the man is a threat to democracy, "what are you going to do about it?" He had no reply. I like myself for having an answer to that. I've signed up to be a monthly donor to Biden's campaign and laid in a supply a postcard stamps for outreach and GOTV. As more opportunities arise, I'll do those.

3) I had the peaches. There's an apple crumble in the refrigerator. I wanted to heat it for my late-night snack, but I went the less fattening/more nutritious route. I liked myself for making the choice that was better for me.

 

Friday, March 15, 2024

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Charlie Mops (2007)

Not familiar with this week's song? Hear it here.

 
1. This week's song is about a legend, Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer. Tell us about something you enjoy so much you could sing about it with the same enthusiasm the Salt Sea Pirates sing of beer. The Cubs. And I do sing about them. Here's our anthem, as performed by World Series Champions Anthony Rizzo, David Ross, Dexter Fowler, and Cubs super fan Bill Murray.
 


 
 
2.  The lyrics tell us beer goes well with breakfast, dinner and snacks. Think about what you dined on yesterday. What beverages did you have with your breakfast, your dinner, and your between-meal snack? Friday I had milk with breakfast, Dr. Pepper with lunch, and water with my snack.

3. "Charlie Mops" was chosen because it's an Irish drinking song and Sunday is St. Patrick's Day. Do you expect to raise a glass in honor of the day? I don't think so. I'm spending Sunday with my friend Nancy, who invited me to her temple to watch a Purim play. I've never done anything like this before and I'm enthusiastic about it, but it doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day.

4. Beer is not the only beverage often dyed green for St. Patrick's Day. In 1970, McDonald's introduced the Shamrock Shake, a milkshake made with a minty green syrup. If we were to go out for shakes right now, what flavor would you order? Strawberry, please.

5. Legend has it that wearing green makes you invisible to leprechauns, who can be mischievous pranksters. Is there anyone you would like to avoid today? All my neighbors. Here's what I've learned from being on the condo board: the more I see my neighbors, the less I like them.

6. For all our talk of green, it was not the original color of St. Patrick's Day. Through most of the 18th century, blue was worn across England and Ireland to honor St. Patrick. The Irish switched to green to express their independence from the English. Which color do wear more often: blue or green? I wear blue all the time. I'm wearing blue now.

7. Today St. Patrick's Day is observed all over the world. In Tokyo, it's not a single day but a weekend celebration. When you think of Japan, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Mitsubishi cars.

8. One of the biggest parades each year in Buenos Aires is for St. Patrick's Day. Have you ever participated in a parade? Yes. In my hometown I marched in the July 4th parade with my Girl Scout Troop. It was fun.

9. Georgia Southern University in Statesboro, GA, crowns a Miss St. Patrick's Day. Tell us about an event you recall from your college days. My college career was so limited -- I'm a community college dropout -- so I don't have an answer for this.



Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 15

 

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 15:

1) Two out of three ain't bad. I had three things on my "to-do" list: 1) mail Patrick's birthday gift; 2) change my dermatologist appointment; 3) write up the meeting minutes from our last condo meeting. I knocked out 1) and 2). So I didn't get to the third! I'm trying to celebrate what I've done, not beat myself up over what I didn't do.

2) I listened to my gut. I know there's a connection between hydration and gastrointestinal health. When my gut started feeling wonky, I reached for the water pitcher. I'll also do another round of stretches. This is literally self-care.

3) Two out of three ain't bad -- redux. I don't have a third today. But the point of this exercise is to be nice to myself, not critical, so I'll just leave this here.

 

Thursday, March 14, 2024

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 14

 

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 14:

1) I remember who I'm talking to. Three people, 54 minutes. That's how long I was on the phone, ironing out a problem with my new dental insurance carrier. My coverage doesn't begin until June 1 and didn't need to expect to talk with them for weeks and weeks, but I received an email saying my first premium had been billed to my credit card and to check my account on their website to review the bill. Huh? Why was I billed already? Why can't I access my account on their website (like the email instructed me to do)? I admit it was frustrating but I worked at being cheerful -- next level, Stepford Wife cheerful -- because I realize the people I was speaking to are not the ones who generated the bill and the email.

2) I'm especially good if you have fur. Yes, I was patient on the phone call above. But I realized, as I was on hold and being transferred from representative to representative, that patience required concerted effort on my part. Dealing with the breakfast drama provided by my two cats while I was on the phone? That came naturally. Connie -- who is elderly and slowly losing her sight and hearing -- begs for food and then is often startled by the bowl I put down for her. The same bowl she's had for more than a year. Completely understandable if you're blind-ish, deaf-ish, and have a brain the size of a plum pit. Roy Hobbs tries to get into the refrigerator every time I open the door. Of course he does. He knows that's where the hot dog buns are and his favorite thing in the entire world is stealing plastic bags like the one the buns come in. I think of Elaine, who keeps trying to train her cats to conform to certain behaviors, or Jen from the store, who is something of a germophobe and would never countenance a cat's paw anywhere near food storage, and I smile. Connie and Roy Hobbs are perfect as they are and as long as they are safe and happy, I do little to curb their natural behavior. I like that about myself. I'm not perfect, but I'm a pretty damn good cat mom.

3) I shared the knowledge. I contacted my former art director with what I learned about the ins and outs of dental insurance. She'll need new coverage on the same day as I do, but she's busy with her freelance work and probably doesn't even know where to start.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Thursday Thirteen #352

13 facts about the greeting card market. Last November I began working in a card/gift shop. It's located round the corner from my home and while I always enjoyed looking around, I never bought much. It's cheaper to get cards and gift bags at the dollar store.

But the stuff in the store is high quality and there are consumers who are discerning about their wrapping and cards and willing to really spend on them. God bless them, because I enjoy being surrounded by such pretty things. Also, it touches me to watch how much care people put into choosing their cards. I love watching people browse. It's rare that someone just comes in and grabs the first card that catches their eye.

I based this TT on a study of today's greeting market, along with my own personal observations.

1. Every year, Americans buy more than 6.5 million greeting cards.

2. Gen Xers (born 1965-80) aren't that big into buying cards. 

3. Baby Boomers (born 1946-64) buy cards the most (but they don't necessarily spend the most).

4. Millennials (born 1981-96) buy more, and more expensive, cards than Xers.

5. Consumer appreciate eco-friendly cards and wrapping paper and have noticed that our paper shopping bags made of recycled materials.

6. Thank you cards are popular, more popular than I thought.

7. Birthday cards are still most often purchased card.

8. Boxed Christmas cards outsell individual ("Merry Christmas, Grandma!") ones.

9. Weddings are big business. In addition to "Congrats to the Bride and Groom,"  there are engagement cards, bridal shower cards, and "Will you be my Bridesmaid?" cards.

10. Once all the the rage, greeting cards with a pocket to hold a gift card have fallen out of favor. Consumers are very comfortable just slipping a gift card into a "regular" greeting card that more perfectly expresses the sentiment. There's also a surge in popularity of small boxes designed specifically for gifts cards, so you have something to tie a ribbon around when you present the gift card.

11. Mother's Day outsells Father's Day ... by a lot. Theories abound -- men don't enjoy receiving cards as much as women do, there are more fatherless households, etc. -- but I have nothing solid to back any particular reason.

12. While there are approximately 55,000 shops like mine that specialize in cards paper, gifts and stationery, most people buy their cards at the grocery or drug stores. Location is tied to population -- California is the state with most people and it is home to more than 7,000 card shops.

13. Covid did not do serious, lasting harm to the greeting card industry. Examining data, the number of card shops/retail workers has remained steady from before (2017) to after (2023) the pandemic.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.


 

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 13

 

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 13:

1) I make notes in my pocket calendar. That's how I remember that next week is my friend Patrick's birthday. I got him a silly little gift (a milk chocolate man wearing white chocolate boxer shorts) that I know will make him laugh. I like that I make small expenditures that let people know they matter to me.

2) I made him feel better. I ran into the owner of the deli I used to frequent. He had to close his doors and he was heartbroken. I mentioned that I thought of his space often and that he was the man who introduced me to sweet kugel. He remembered that I always ordered chicken in the pot and he promised to email his recipe. He put his whole self into that business, so I'm glad I was able to let him know his efforts were appreciated.

3) I lined up new dental insurance. My current coverage (COBRA) expires June 1. If I want a prospective insurer to waive any exclusions, I have to have that policy in place ON June 1. So I shopped around and spent about an hour on the phone but I have a new carrier/policy. Since I worked for large companies since I was a teenager, I have never had to shop for insurance before. I did not enjoy this exercise but I got it done. If I don't take care of me, no one will.

 

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

WWW.WEDNESDAY


WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Agatha Raisin and the Terrible Tourist by MC Beaton. Our heroine, the redoubtable Aggie, is on a solo holiday in Cypress. She surrounds herself with other British tourists and is as fascinated/amused by them as she is of the Mediterranean. Then one of them gets dead. Will Agatha's sleuthing skills translate overseas?


This is lighter than air but it's just what I needed after 500+ pages with Mrs. Lincoln.


2. What did you recently finish reading?  Mary Lincoln: Biography of a Marriage by Ruth Painter Randall. This is a comprehensive, fair and very readable look at Mary Lincoln's life. I enjoyed it, but it was not an easy read. The lady had a staggering amount of pain in her 63 years. She buried three children, and the only one who survived to adulthood had her declared insane. (Let that sink in.) During the Civil War, her siblings took up arms against the Union, and Mary's husband. Don't think that won't cause a rift. The national press routinely attacked her as a boorish Westerner (Illinois was considered the rural West in those days) and a Southern sympathizer (her Kentuckian father was a slave owner). Neither was true: Mary was an elegant, educated lady who spoke fluent French, quoted Shakespeare and was staunchly anti-slave. Her husband was shot while holding her hand. She felt the bullet in the paroxysm of his hand even before she heard it. Not something you ever recover from.


The woman on these pages is warm, loving and more sinned against than sinning. She's also shown to be sharp-tongued and quick-tempered and often unable to get out of her own way.

 

Ms. Randall puts us in the 19th century. You can smell the biscuits and gravy! But if you pick this volume up, be warned: it was written in the 1950s. Some of the word choices were a little squirmy. This is no longer how we talk about people of color, little people, or those with speech impediments. After I cringed, I realized it's important that we know who we were as a nation. 


3. What will you read next? I don't know.


 

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 12

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 12:

1) My patience paid off. John sent a goofy response to my goofy email. YAY! That means the lines of communication between us are, indeed, open and flowing both ways. I've been very worried about my self-isolating friend but had decided to give him space to work out his own problems. In his own way, and in his own time. I take today's rather silly interaction as evidence that I made the right choice and I like myself for respecting his privacy. (<<< Not easy.)

2) I followed up. I shot an email to Elaine. She's a good friend and I think I take her for granted sometimes. I like that I was more careful of her feelings.

3) I returned to yoga. I will never be good at yoga, but after missing two consecutive weeks, I was creaky and stiff and, well, I sucked. It's never fun to get up and go over to do something you know you're not good at. But it's good for me! I'm glad I took care of myself by making myself go.

 

The Tough Conversation that Wasn't So Tough

Last Thursday I checked the store's online program and discovered that my name doesn't appear on the schedule after the 15th. Some people are working between the 15th through 31st, but not everyone ... and not me. I was concerned that this means I don't have a job anymore. While I would certainly understand this -- we have experienced a lull after Valentine's Day, and I was originally only hired through New Year's Day anyway -- I wanted to know the truth right away and was tempted to text my boss over the weekend but resisted. She was on vacation and deserved to unplug. 

But Monday, once she got in and got settled, I asked her about it. She apologized for any confusion and explained that, with the drop in business, she just can't support everyone. I have not been let go. Corporate expected this dip in sales and lowered the store's daily projections, so we aren't "in trouble" or going out of business. This is the nature of part-time retail work. I must learn the ways of this new world.

I told Ceecee I understand and reminded her that I'm flexible* and can come in with advance notice whenever she needs me. I was also happy to see that before I got in, before we had the conversation, she had added my name to two displays in the breakroom. I now have a paper flower on the decorative team board and my "birthday" (the day I started working there) is on the team calendar. She wouldn't have added me to those if I was on the way out.

I like this job. It can be fun and the extra money is nice. But I also like sleeping in and since my oral surgery and vacation are coming up, I'd have to take time off anyway. And don't forget: I'm lazy. So this is not the worst that could happen.

 
*Kinda. I still don't want to work Tuesdays, evenings or weekends.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 11

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 11:

1) I gave my oldest friend a chance. I was in a mood Monday night. I just didn't feel like being alone. So I phoned my oldest friend. She's been annoying me lately -- her recent emails have been as artificial and superficial as the mass newsletters you receive from distant relatives in Christmas cards. But I reached out to her last night and she really came through. We had a lovely, funny chat. Like the old friends we are. I like myself for not letting my irritation fester and become a bigger deal than it needs to be.

2) I nurtured a new friendship. I sent Bob and Patty -- the couple I had brunch with Sunday -- a link to my movie group. Maybe they're busy on Mondays. Maybe they can't bear the idea of another Zoom meeting. But I made the gesture. I like myself for that. (I must remember this week to reach out to Elaine. I could be a better friend to her. But this is the place to celebrate what's good and not indulge in negative self-talk, right?)

3) I'm looking at my caffeine intake. I have long limited myself to two Cokes/day. Less than that, and I get unpleasant caffeine headaches. I find, though, that if I have that second Coke earlier in the evening (last night it was before 9:00), I sleep less fitfully. I like that I'm taking care of myself.

 

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 10

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 10:

1) I put feet to my faith. It feels so good to do good on Sundays, to do something tangible that reflects my Christian faith. This morning it was Letters Against Isolation.

2) I looked away. There was something on the news this morning about an airline mishap. I can't tell you anything about it because I looked away. I am flying next month and air travel terrifies me even when I don't have a negative story ringing in my ears. I like that I was smart and self-protective enough to look away.

3) I broadened my circle. I've heard that it is more difficult to make friends as we grow older. I haven't necessarily found that, but I can see how it can be true, so I made an effort to allow new people into my life. Patty and Bob live in my neighborhood but we met back in 2019 at the TCM Film Festival. Yes, it was while waiting for the light on the corner of Hollywood and Orange Blvd.'s that I met people who live less than a mile from me. We became Facebook friends and now, more than four years later, we finally met again in person for lunch. They're Cub fans (as all the best people are) and pet people (as all the best people are). We're going to be in Hollywood again next month, staying in the same hotel, and will meet again for coffee -- this time, my treat. Allowing new people into my life is a way to help ensure that I feel happier and more supported. I like that I'm taking care of myself.

 

Saturday, March 09, 2024

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 9

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 9:

1) I held my temper. I invited my friend Nancy and her husband to a specific restaurant for her birthday meal. What a bitch I am! You would think that by how Nancy was acting. The restaurant is open from 8 AM until 10 PM. They are known for their crepes and the way they do milkshakes, especially for birthdays, with sprinkles and fruit and all kinds of lovely things, and I know Nancy likes shakes. I sent her a link to the restaurant so she could familiarize herself with the menu. 

She chose the time: high noon. When we got there, she saw the line outside the door and said, "Maybe you should have made a reservation." Um ... the website says "no reservations for breakfast or brunch." I told her that the earliest reservation is for 3:00. (Like the website says.) She suggested we go to the coffee shop next door. OK, cheaper for me ... but I was sad because I wanted to wow her with the crepes and milkshakes. 

We get to the coffee shop and guess what: at noon on Saturday, they have a line, too. We gave them our names and went to the bookstore a few doors down to browse. The bookstore had the two books Nancy wanted in stock! YAY! Now we could have done this at the more special restaurant I'd chosen, but never mind. This is about Nancy so I'm letting her call all the shots.

It took the coffee shop 20 minutes to text us. Nancy was scandalized. Remember, she chose the time. I told her that every nice restaurant is going to be busy with the lunch crowd at high noon and she shrugged. Then she complained about how busy the sidewalks are, filled with people! It's a good economy, I'm not going to bitch. Then she rolled her eyes when a kid approached us, offering to sell us candy for $1. I didn't give him one of my "blessing bags" because I was afraid she'd tell me I'm encouraging him, and I don't want to hear that. Not from her. Not today.

Afterward, as we walked to her car, she complained about how "overbuilt and busy" the neighborhood is. She used to live here! Again, good economy = infrastructure = JOBS! I am happy. I told her that. I also told her "I could do 30 minutes on your neighborhood, if I wanted to." Her lily white, completely non-diverse, bedroom community where nothing is walkable and you have to drive to buy a quart of milk. They don't even have an independent bookstore, or a card shop like the one I work at. Or a cute restaurant that specializes in crepes, or a movie theater, all within blocks of one another. It's a fucking snooze.

But I stopped at "if I wanted to." It was Nancy's birthday, and maybe something was eating at her. I know at times grief over her son's death pops up unexpectedly, maybe that's what this was. Anyway, the point was to celebrate Nancy, not argue with her. 

As always, I made her husband Paul laugh a lot. Nancy loves that about me. They don't have many friends; there's his friends and her friends but not many they share. 

So I made her husband laugh, I got her a cute gift, I fed them, and I bit my tongue. I like myself for all that.

2) I made the nutritious choice. I found myself hungry this evening. I really wanted an all-beef hot dog. But I had a burger and fries for lunch. So I made myself a snack of vegetables. The hot dog would have tasted better, but I like myself for taking care of myself.

3) I kept an open mind. This week's classic film is The Solid Gold Cadillac. It's a favorite of our movie group moderator, Will. I began watching it and thought it was just OK. My viewing was interrupted when my cable went out. When it came back on, I'll be honest -- I didn't feel like resuming the movie. But Will is so cute and enthusiastic when we discuss one of his faves. He works hard on selecting a variety of films, researching and posting about them, then he runs our Meetups. He does all this without compensation. I like myself for remembering that and keeping an open mind about The Solid Gold Cadillac. It turned out to be a cute movie. It ain't Citizen Kane, but I'm not sorry I saw it. And I'm glad I'll be able to discuss it intelligently Monday.

 

Friday, March 08, 2024

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Hold Me Now (1983)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song begins with a young man gazing at a picture of himself and his girlfriend in happier times. Are there any photographs in the room you're in right now? There's a lovely framed photo of Chicago's Water Tower on the wall. It was a gift from my favorite uncle.

2) His girl tells him he's a dreamer. Do you consider yourself more a dreamer or realist? I'm like JFK. He referred to himself as "an idealist without illusions." I am by nature a dreamer, but I can be very pragmatic when the situation demands it.

3) "Hold Me Now" was a big hit for the British pop band, The Thompson Twins. They got their start in the late 1970s in the English city of Sheffield, so named because the River Sheaf runs through it. Do you know how your town got its name? Chicago is a native American name, derived from the Algonquin word for "onion." Back in the day, our lakeshore and riverbanks were home to wild onions.

4) Today lead singer Tom Bailey performs solo and is an outspoken advocate for veganism. Vegans abstain from consuming animal products, particularly in their diets. Are you a vegan, or have you ever tried to stick to a vegan diet? Nope. I love meat and dairy too much.

5) Tom's former bandmate Joe Leeway has left show business altogether and concentrates on a career in hypnotherapy. This therapy is commonly used to treat insomnia, smoking cessation and obesity. Is hypnotherapy something you have tried, or would consider? No. I admit I'm uncomfortable with the concept, though I don't know for sure why.

6) In 1983, when this song was popular, Motorola introduced the first cell phone. Today cell phones are an essential part of our every day lives. Do you still have a landline? Yes. I'm going to keep it until forced to give it up. The call quality is far, far superior to my cellphone's.

7) Also in 1983, American West airlines took off, flying between Las Vegas and Phoenix. Where did you travel to on your most recent flight? My last flight from 2023 is the same itinerary as my next roundtrip flight: ORD-LAX and back.

8) In 1983, Princess Diana was the world's top cover girl. Are there any magazines in the room you're in? If yes, who or what is on the cover? Just in time for the Oscars, Vanity Fair published their annual Hollywood issue with Bradley Cooper, Natalie Portman, Pedro Pascal and Colman Domingo on the cover. They all look gorgeous. Of course they do. Vanity Fair is in the gorgeous cover business.


9) Random question: Is anyone on your bad side this morning? Yes. My oldest friend is in a weird place right now. Very superficial and fake, she speaks to me as if we just so happened to meet on a bus, not like someone she has known since Kindergarten. So annoying! I keep reminding myself that she likely can't help it. She's bipolar and her moods get away from her. Patience is in order.



Nice Things about Myself -- Day 8

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 8:

1) I gave a "thumbs up." Cognitively impaired, my friend Kathy doesn't understand that when she responded to my Facebook posts she was hitting Messenger, not comment. If I responded to her via Messenger, she would scold me, insisting that she doesn't use Messenger, she's told me she doesn't use Messenger, and why don't I get that? If I don't answer her, she sent pitiful messages, asking why either I'm ignoring her or Facebook is trying to keep people from her. It was exasperating and depressing. So in December I restricted her access to my Facebook page. Kathy has literally hundreds of other Facebook friends. Let her hassle them for awhile. Anyway, today she sent me a confusing Messenger message about how Messenger confuses her. What the ever loving fuck? Here we go again! If I respond, I'll get scolded. If I ignore it, she'll get whiny and paranoid. Then I thought, "So?" She is failing, her life is getting smaller, she is lonely. While I have no intention of continuing any kind of real relationship with her, giving her a "thumbs up" costs me nothing, took me a second, and may have given her a momentary feeling of connection. I liked myself for that.

2) I was patient today. I used a coupon toward my carry out pizza. The cashier stared at it a moment before calling the manager for help. She just could not figure out how to ring me up. I felt her embarrassment, so I acted as though I didn't notice. Since starting my job at the card shop, I feel kinship with my brothers and sisters behind the registers.

3) I gave John space. My friend John is battling ... something. He's not feeling well physically and he doesn't like his life very much. I'd do anything to help him. I know he knows that. So I sent him a card, saying I'm glad he's in my life, and I'm leaving it at that. At least for a few weeks. I'm respecting that he has a right to handle it in his own way.

 

Thursday, March 07, 2024

Good news all around

Photo by CDC on Unsplash

1) That's a wrap. I went to the ophthalmologist again for a follow up exam. After conducting three different tests, he concluded that virtually nothing has changed since last September. While he can't absolutely, positively 100% rule out glaucoma, there's no compelling evidence of it, either. Instead of seeing me every six months, he has scheduled me for annual re-testing. I like this. We're not ignoring it, we're following up. But he's also confident that I'm fine.         

2) We're one of 5. As I mentioned back on March 5, an inspector came through and left with two (2!) pages of violations need to be addressed right away. Some are small, like graffiti near the utility room. Some are structural and likely very expensive. The time frame was ambitious to the point that we're already late. 

We met with our management company, who put it on a very human level for us. The inspector is new, filling in for his boss, who is on maternity leave. We are one of 5 buildings who were found to have violations on the same week, and ours isn't even the worst.

The next step is not to start work.  It's to hire a structural engineer, who will see if the inspector's assessments are correct. If they aren't, we will present our case to the inspector. If they are, we will present our plan/priorities for making repairs. 

In short, no one is going to expect any of us condo unit owners to fork over a big bag of cash all at once, and maybe not at all.

I'm going to sleep tonight feeling better about everything, and for that I'm grateful.



Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 7

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 7:

1) I was patient. I was fiddling around with the online scheduling tool for the store and saw that after March 15, I'm not scheduled for any hours. Other people are, but not me. Although no one is scheduled for my particular shift (10 to 2), there is a crazy quilt of sales people scheduled and there will be coverage. There could be many reasons for this, but the first one that came to mind is that Store Manager CeeCee can no longer afford me. After all, I was hired in late October with the understanding that the job would be over on January 1. "Seasonal Sales Associate" is my title. Or it could have to do with spring break, the vacation of my regularly-scheduled manager Jen, or ... or ... or ... I see Colleen (whom I've yet to meet) isn't scheduled either. ANYWAY, when I noticed this, my first impulse was to text CeeCee and say, "What gives?" If she is letting me go, I'll certainly understand. I just hate having stuff like this hanging over my head, unresolved. My initial impulse is to get it all out in the open. I was going to text her and ask her to call me and then I remembered: she's taking this week off. She worked inventory at another store and she's tired. It would be enormously selfish of me to put my comfort before hers. I liked myself for realizing I can, indeed, wait until Monday, when she and I are face to face to ask, "What gives?"

I'm sorry but I don't have a 2 or 3 today.

Thursday Thirteen #351


The last 13 TV commercials I saw. I love TV. If I'm home, it's likely on. Because I spent decades in advertising, I pay attention to how networks and marketers target me and what TV commercials I see. 

So I made note of what was promoted to me on a random Thursday night.

1. JP Morgan Wealth Management. I'm already a Chase customer, and Chase is the #1 bank in Chicagoland, so it makes sense I'd see this commercial.

2. Voltaren. I'm a lady of a certain age, and I am creaking a bit more every day, so this OTC arthritis cream commercial seems appropriate.

3. Intuit QuickBooks. Financial software. I'm neither self-employed nor a small business owner, so nah.

4. Indeed. An employment website. I'm neither looking for a job nor hiring anyone, so nah.

5. Mando. You know that Lume Deodorant you see all the time? Now there's one for men. I don't care.

6. Angi. It used to be called Angie's List. If I needed a new contractor, I might use it.

7. Ro. An injectable weight management med. This commercial wouldn't interest me at all except she says "little prick," and I'm juvenile so it gets my attention.

8. Mtailor. Tailored clothes made by measurements taken from your phone. I love this idea and I think the commercial misses the point. It only shows men, while mtailor does make jeans for women, as well. Yoo-hoo! Woman here!

9. Xfinity. "Discover unmissable shows and find what you love." I owe my soul to Xfinity. They already have my internet, cable and landline phone service. So yes, I can see why people like me see this ad.

10. Pooph. An odor remover spray. I keep meaning to try this because I have two cats/two litter boxes. In the commercial he sprays Pooph directly into his mouth. It's kinda creepy, but it addresses my concern about product safety around my cats.

11. Lerner and Rowe.  "Lerner and Rowe are the lawyers for you. Call 222-2222." You see similar spots for your own local injury lawyers, don't you?

12. Mando again. I'm still not a smelly man.

13. Granite stone cookware. I'm sure these are lovely, but I have pots and pans I bought in 1980 that are good as new because ... well ... I never use them.

Do you find that the commercials and web banners you see are for products/services you would actually purchase?



Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.