Thursday Thirteen #480

Next in line. Many Brits are up in arms because Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and may be trying to return to royal life. Much of the public unhappiness has to do with money. Mr. Henry Mountbatten-Windsor wishes to be a "non-working royal" – meaning a private citizen and not a representative of The Crown or kingdom – yet he seems to feel entitled to security at tax payer expense. Around-the-clock protection for the Sussex family could cost up to $4 million a year. More if the family also moves to a tax-payer funded royal home, which would be easier to secure.

Unpopular as Harry and Meghan are they are still likely to get all this, and here is why. The King is head of state in the UK constitutional republic. Until their constitution is changed – and no one sees that happening any time soon – the monarch is a legal requirement for the continuity of government. And Harry is still in the Top 10 in the line of succession.

In fact, so is his uncle, the highly discredited and even more unpopular Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor (no longer Prince Andrew). It takes an act of Parliament to remove him, and that is not likely to happen until/unless he is convicted of a crime. The reasoning is that his expulsion would influence a jury if is he brought to trial. Anyway, it's super complicated and time-consuming because Andrew's removal would involve, at least peripherally, all 15 Commonwealth realms. But it has been discussed. Once the process begins, King Charles is not expected to intervene on his brother's behalf.

But Harry is higher up in line, and that makes him relevant. Constitutionalists argue that King Charles is not well. Were he to die soon, Prince William would become King, and next in line to the throne would be Prince George. Who is 13. If for some reason William became incapacitated, Prince George could not become King because he's too young, and Harry would be designated Regent. Harry would hold the throne until George comes of age.

An awful lot of bad things would have to happen in the next five years for Harry to assume the throne. It's highly unlikely, but it is possible. And a Parliament who has yet to expel Andrew for being an Epstein perv is not going to remove Harry for being snippy and having a wife no one likes. And if they tried, King Charles could and likely would throw roadblocks in their way. So in a weird way, Andrew is Harry's job security.

Confused? Maybe this list of 13 will help. 

The current line of success behind King Charles III.  

1. Prince William, Charles' son, born in 1981

2. Prince George, William's son, born in 2013

3. Princess Charlotte, William's daughter, born in 2015

4. Prince Louis, William's son, born in 2018

5. Prince Harry, William's brother, born in 1984

6. Prince Archie, Harry's son, born in 2019

7. Princess Lilibet, Harry's daughter, born in 2021

8. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor (yes, he's still here), Charles' brother, born in 1960

9. Princess Beatrice, Andrew's daughter, born in 1988

10. Sienna Mapelli Mozzi, Beatrice's daughter, born in 2021

11. Athena Mapelli Mozzi, Beatrice's daughter, born in 2025

12. Princess Eugenie, Andrew's daughter, born in 1990

13. August Brooksbank, Eugenie's daughter, born in 2021

If Andrew is kicked out, his daughters and their children would move up, and Ernest Brooksbank, Eugenie's younger son, would take the 13th slot. 

Princess Anne is currently #19 in succession. Charles' sister is kinda neat. Virtually scandal free, she's fusty in the way a Queen should be. 76 years old and reportedly in excellent health, she has lived a life of service and kept a busy schedule representing the Crown all over the world. She currently serves as patron for more than 300 charities, with a special emphasis on helping children and veterans. She would be the logical choice, if for any reason a Regent was required to guide future King George. But that can't happen because, at least to this Yank, logic doesn't have a shit-ton to do with any of this.

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

"... If that's what's bothering you"

Yesterday my shrink and I were discussing my recent, and increasingly more frequent, bouts of irritability. I have infinite patience with my cats. I never lose my temper with customers at the card shop. I can comfortably chat up a seatmate on public transportation. But Christine from movie group, my neighbor at the end of the hall, they exasperate me. Perhaps beyond proportion. 

I have not been having "bad days." I'm feeling well. There is nothing going on that I can attribute my snappishness to.

Christine is a kind, well-meaning woman who is trying to expand her social circle. There is no shortage of online articles that will reinforce how difficult this can be for women of our age. Yet planning and spending a movie day with her left me ill-tempered and worn out. No, I didn't say anything to her about it. I try not to be mean. But she was high-maintenance and intellectually incurious and I couldn't wait to get away from her. Even though she had a lovely time, brought me a book she found at a library sale, and followed up with texts the next day. She seemed to enjoy the same day that left me exhausted. What's wrong with me?

My neighbor at the end of the hall has disabilities. He has to wear a brace on one of his legs. He has some form of Tourette syndrome that causes him to yell loudly when he's alone. He is lonely and has trouble with boundaries. He is always asking me where I'm going, what's in that shopping bag I'm carrying, etc. I don't think he means to be creepy, but he is. Last week he banged and banged on my door, demanding I answer even though I was busy doing something more than a little private.* When I finally answered, what he wanted was not remotely urgent or even my issue. He asked what I thought we should do about the Amazon package that had been delivered here by mistake. I yelled at him, telling him I'm not on-call 24/7, not his employee. He looked as though I'd stricken him. Yes, I raised my voice and made a man with disabilities feel bad. What's wrong with me?

"There's nothing wrong with you, if that's what's bothering you." So said my shrink. OK, so let's work on what's wrong with these situations ...

Regarding Christine: Maybe I just don't vibe with her. If you can't talk politics, baseball, or pop culture, or if you don't make me laugh, we're not going to click. That's no one's fault, it's just chemistry. Also, compared with recent get togethers with friends that I have enjoyed, Christine and I were together for nine hours. That is too much for me. I'm not that social anymore and my introversive streak has gotten wider. Christine is a nice woman who is trying to make friends so I'm not going to snub her. That would be mean and I refuse to do it. But I can limit the length of time we're together when we see each other.

Regarding my neighbor: He suffers from neurodiversity. He does not respect boundaries and cannot pick up subtle cues. I wasn't being a reactive bully, I was doing what was necessary. If I hadn't yelled at him, he would continue becoming more intrusive. That is simply the way it is. His very real issues, which I see and have compassion for, do not give him the right to make me uncomfortable in my own home. 

I am an old dog but I am still learning. I guess at core, what I have been struggling with is how to live my Christian faith. I want to be a kind person. I want to treat everyone as I wish to be treated. I want to end each day knowing the way I behaved toward others is a way that would please Him.

But sometimes I lose myself in the equation. Christ's plan for me is not that I be inherently unhappy, is it? So I will develop a relationship with Christine that works for both of us. I will be nice and gracious to my neighbor but insist he respect my privacy.

Therapy is worth the time and worth the dime.

  

*I had just applied prescription cream to a rash that I'd rather not talk about, but let's just say I wasn't dressed to welcome visitors. So I had to smear the expensive cream to get dressed to answer the door and yes, this really pissed me off.

 

Sunday Stealing

TRUE OR FALSE

1. I'm married. False

2. I'm raising a teenager. False

3. I recently vacationed in California. YAY! I got one. True.

4. I have traveled to Asia. False

5. I have a dog. False

6. I received money from a class action settlement. I got about $30 from the Facebook settlement.

7. I've been in the waiting room when a family member had surgery. False

8. I have attended a convention. True

9. I subscribe to my local newspaper (either print or online). True

10. I recently had work done to the exterior of my home. True. We got a new roof this past spring.

 

Saturday 9

 
Saturday 9: Devil in the Bottle (1974)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song begins with T. G. Sheppard taking off his shoes to slip into the house with disturbing his sleeping wife. Are you wearing shoes as you answer these questions? No. I'm barefootin' around the house.

2) His wife hears him anyway. Are you a light sleeper? Kinda sorta. I live near train tracks and a busy street and those sounds I snooze through. But let one of my cats knock my hairbrush off the sink and I'm up.
 

3) This is the first of 22 consecutive #1 hits for T. G. Sheppard. Not bad for a high school dropout. What's the last year of education that you completed? 12th grade. I took a half-hearted stab at community college a couple times but was easily distracted. 

 

Look! A squirrel!

 

4) He was born William Browder and chose the stage name T. G. Sheppard just because he liked the sound of it. He says "T. G." doesn't stand for anything, and he gets a kick out of fans who insist there's some secret meaning behind the initials. Since most of us didn't choose our names: Is there a story behind your name? Did your parents tell you why they chose it? (If you did choose your name, share what influenced your decision.) My mom always liked my first name. She also disliked my dad's aunt, who had the same name, so my mom chose a different spelling. She didn't want that woman to think I was named for her. (I'm told I met my non-namesake once, but I don't recall it.)

 

5) It was after hours at a Memphis roller rink when he first met Elvis and his entourage. As T. G. was leaving, Elvis was entering and asked if he wanted to stay and skate longer. T. G. was confused because he knew the place was closing for the night. "Not for me," Elvis replied and T. G. skated with Elvis and his buddies until dawn. Are you good on roller skates? No. I am the clumsiest human you will ever meet.

6) T. G. loves NASCAR and was an associate sponsor of the Folgers Chevrolet. He enjoyed the collaboration with the coffee company and has performed the familiar jingle – "the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup" – in concert. Are you loyal to a particular coffee brand? No. I don't drink coffee.

 

7) T. G. understands the lifestyle of his fans. That's why he named his live country music venue Guitars and Cadillacs. If you were going to name a business after two of your favorite things, what would you call it? Cubs and Cats.

 

 
8) In 1974, when this week's song was on the country charts, Linda Ronstadt was getting a lot of radio airplay with "You're No Good." That song is about a real cad. Let's turn that around: Who is the nicest person you know? My former boss, CeeCee. She has a smile and a hug for everyone, and always emphasized to our team that we be kind to one another.

 
9) Random question: Have you ever had your palm read? I don't recall. Maybe? But this question has that wonderful old song going through my head. "Much More" is from the musical The Fantasticks. 

 

"I'd like to swim in a clear blue stream where the water is icy cold,

Then go to town in a golden gown and have my fortune told,

Just once, just once, just once before I'm old ..." 

 

 

 Photo by Caleb Martin on Unsplash 

 

And yet, I feel bad

One of my neighbors has a hard time with boundaries. I appreciate that the man at the end of the hall must be lonely.  He is on disability, always wears a brace on his leg, and has some and some form of Tourette syndrome that causes him to yell loudly when he's alone. (I can hear him swearing up a storm when I'm waiting for the elevator. The doors open and he comes out grinning, as though nothing was amiss.)

While I certainly don't seek him out, I'm always pleasant whenever we meet. His questions are always annoying and nosy ("Where are you going?" "What's in that big Target bag?" "What's on that pizza?") but harmless. He's obsessed with our building's Amazon deliveries. He brings our packages from the lobby up to our front doors, which would be nice except he bangs on the door and expects a thank you ... and a conversation. He also bangs on my door frequently to discuss condo association business because I'm on the Board. 

I try to be nice but he's making it impossible. Last month, there was the day when, after I took my packages, he blocked me from closing my front door so we could chat longer. I could feel his eyes surveying my living room. It was creepy and intrusive.

This week I yelled at him. Yes, I yelled at a lonely man with a disability.

I have a rash. Don't worry, I won't tell you about it, but it's not somewhere you can see when I'm in my bathing suit. I had just applied the (expensive) cream when my neighbor began banging on my door.

I had the TV on, so he knew I was home. I thought I could brazen it out, but no, he kept pounding. I peered at him through the peep hole. What if he was in some distress? When he appeared fine, I resolved to ignore him.

He wouldn't be ignored. Pounding ... and pounding ... Perhaps hearing me approach the peep hole made him more determined. 

"I. AM. COMING!" I shouted, smearing the (expensive) cream as I reached for clothing.

He wanted to know what he should do about the Amazon package in the lobby. It was delivered here by mistake.

"I don't know," I said tightly, trying not to scream.

"Have you been downstairs? Have you seen it?"

"No. I know nothing about it. And I am not on call 24/7. If I don't answer my door, it means I'm busy."

"Were you eating or something?"

"No, I was getting in the shower." I lied, determined to keep at least my rash private. "But it doesn't matter! I'm not an employee! I don't have to be always available!"

"I'm so sorry." He looked stricken. He extended his hand for a fist bump but I refused it. 

"OK, fine," I snapped, and closed the door.

I know that he has mistaken my mere politeness for a willingness to be his sidekick, so I had to be harsh. I had to set boundaries.

But his face! He looked like I'd slapped him.

 Photo by Mario Heller on Unsplash

9/11

25 years ago everything changed. Forever. I say a prayer that today we mourn and honor those who were lost with our kindness and empathy.

 

 

 

When I wander

Tuesday my friend Gregory and I spent a lovely day at The Chicago History Museum. I enjoy this museum but the real reason for the outing was Gregory. He and I were both satellites who orbited around John, and since John died in 2024 I've been afraid of losing Gregory, too, so these get togethers are important to me. 

I got to the Museum about 20 minutes before Gregory and I used the time to stroll the grounds. I think this is what I like best about retirement – I take the time to notice and appreciate the stuff that's always been there but I was in too big a hurry to see.

THE FOUNTAIN 

I just happened to be sitting there when the Chicago Park District guy came to service it. I was amazed to discover that he does this not by touching the fountain itself at all, but by going down a hole several feet away.

 

Down he went

 

And the water stops!

 

THE PATH

The Jaffe History Trail runs behind the Museum. As I meandered among the trees and plants that are native to Chicagoland, I soon found myself with one of my favorite people of all time, Mr. Lincoln. That's the great thing about living in Illinois: You're never far from a reminder of Abe. 

 

 

It's called Lincoln: The Man

 

Hello, Mr. Lincoln

I know people live elsewhere and I'm sure they're happy. But I really think I'd have a hard time living anywhere else. We have four seasons. We have parks peacefully waiting for us just off the busiest streets. We have museums and theaters and ballparks. We sit on a Great Lake. I'd miss it all.

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #479

Spilling the tea. You know how you can go days (weeks!) without hearing or reading about something, and then all of a sudden you see it everywhere? That's me and tea. I don't drink it often and yet today I saw a sale flyer promoting the teas at my local grocery store and later saw an article about it.

OK, Universe. I get the message. 

13 facts about tea.

1. Next to water, tea is the most consumed beverage in the world.

2. We've been drinking it for a long, long time. In 2015, archeologists discovered tea in the tomb of a Chinese emperor who had been dead more than 2,000 years. 

3. English mystery author par excellence Agatha Christie drank black tea as she wrote.

4. So it's not surprising that her most famous creation, Hercule Poirot, also drank tea and credited it for stimulating his "little gray cells" as he solved mysteries.

5. Secret agents like tea, too.  Two actors who played James Bond – Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan – were known for drinking tons of tea between scenes while filming.

6. Black tea is the most popular tea in the world. It balances a little caffeine boost with health benefits, like lowering cholesterol levels

7. Organic dandelion leaf and root tea is on sale this week at my local health food store, and the promotion says it is "traditionally used to support kidney function."

8. Ginger tea may help combat nausea.

9. Green tea has been called the tea that's best for your health because it contains antioxidants and can reduce inflammation.

10. Some find drinking chamomile tea before bed enhances sleep.

11. When it comes to tea, Americans are contrary. In Turkey, China and the UK, hot tea is tops but here, our preference is overwhelmingly for iced tea.

12. Hot tea may help with appetite suppression and weight loss. Or maybe it doesn't. One study showed that women who drank hot tea every day had lower BMIs than women who don't. However there haven't been many follow up studies to confirm this. 

13. Foodies are discovering tea in a big way. There's a trend toward tea sommeliers who can recommend the right tea/meal pairing.

How about you? Share your tea habits. 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

I do this, you know

I am happy to be invited or included. Then I go and I can't wait to get away on my own. It happened this weekend. 

Noir City Chicago! TCM's Eddie Muller has replaced Jerry Lewis as my annual Labor Day date, hosting this film festival of classic noirs at Chicago's Music Box Theater over the holiday weekend again this year. On Saturday, eight of us from my movie group got together in person to see Black Angel. I enjoyed the movie thoroughly – it was short and twisty – and the company. I had drinks with my compadres before the film and posed for an apres movie picture with (sigh) Eddie himself and went home very happy.

Then Sunday happened. Weeks ago, when the Noir City schedule was announced, I said I was excited to see my favorite Elvis movie, King Creole, on the big screen for the first time. Christine, a group member who is making an effort to be my friend, said it was her favorite, too, and she wanted to go with me. I don't know why she didn't come to the group event on Saturday. 

Now let me be clear: I was going anyway. I knew none of the group regulars shares my affection for The King or this movie. I am perfectly happy watching a movie in the theater alone. It's also not hard for me to get to The Music Box. I take a 15-minute commuter train into the Loop and then a cab or rideshare. (I could take the bus, it would be cheaper, but that's a long-ass ride with lots of stops.)

Anyway, Christine seldom comes into the city. In the run-up to the Sunday movie, I got emails and texts from her. Since she lives in a faraway suburb and is afraid to drive in the city, would I mind if she parked near my place and we ride the train in together? I told her that was fine. Then she wondered exactly where she could park near me, and would I split the parking with her? Now why would I pay for her parking? I told her that if she could wait a while – this was days before the movie – I would send her photos of the metered parking near my home. But, it was raining, so "stay tuned." She kept on messaging me, asking about this parking garage or that one she researched online. No, I said, there is metered parking closer to my building and I would send her photos ... just please give me a few hours until the rain stops.

No, she kept messaging. She told me she's afraid to drive in the dark. OK, I can help her with parking and public transportation but not with the sun and moon. King Creole started at 4:00. With Sunday train schedules being what they are, we wouldn't get from the theater to my place until after 8:00. So it would be dark when she was on the road to her home. It just would. It's unavoidable.

More messages. There's a commuter train from her faraway suburb into the city. Maybe she should just take that? HELL, YES! I said I'd meet her train and we could take a rideshare together to the theater. We agreed we'd grab a bite to eat after the movie. She asked what she would owe me for the rides. I told her not to worry about it – I was going to pay for the rides anyway. But it would be nice if she paid the tax and tip at dinner. 

I met her train and felt like such a bitch. She brought me a book about JFK she found at her local library book sale. After all, she said, she knows I love him and I support libraries. How thoughtful of her!

Before the movie we had a drink in the theater lounge. She told me how she always loved Elvis, how she watched this movie many times with her sister. I agreed that it's his best movie and was excited to see it with a theater of people who enjoyed it and took it seriously. We took pix of each other in the lobby.

Except afterward Christine confessed she'd never seen King Creole before. She thought it was Jailhouse Rock. Oh, you mean the movie where he sings "Jailhouse Rock?" So much for being a lifelong Elvis fan. We also didn't have that much to talk about. She loves her dog and her yard. But she doesn't watch the news and doesn't know anything about current affairs. 

I'll be honest, by the time we got to our separate trains, I couldn't wait to get away from her.

Then Monday there were more and more texts! She didn't like any of the photos I'd taken of her in the lobby, so she'd manipulated them using AI. She shared them with me, including one she'd taken of me where I looked (literally) like a cartoon.

Leave me alone!

I realize I sound like a bitch. I feel like a bitch. Here's a perfectly nice woman who keeps making overtures to be my friend. I realize that might be hard for her, and understand that it's a compliment to me. Friendship is, after all, a gift. 

But maybe I'm like Groucho Marx: I don't want to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Candy Apple Red by Nancy Bush. Our narrator Jane Kelly is a thirty-something California girl who follows her lover to a smallish town in Oregon. The man moves on without her but she stays. She was rudderless in SoCal and hopes to find some meaning/direction in Lake Chinook. She's been a bartender, now she's a process server, and through her legwork for local attorneys, seems to be slowly evolving into a PI. The case that she's investigating, almost against her will, is an icky one: The scion of Lake Chinook's richest family killed his wife and kids and disappeared. It's believed that if Jane gets in good with the suspect's dad and follows the money, he can be found.

 

It's starting slow, which I guess isn't surprising for Book #1 in a series. There are characters to introduce, backstories and relationships to explain. So even though this one hasn't grabbed me by the throat yet, I'm willing to give it time.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Zelda Fitzgerald: Her Voice in Paradise by Sally Cline. This one will stay with me for a while. When I first read This Side of Paradise and The Great Gatsby, I was a teenager. Scott, Zelda and their Jazz Age world seemed so sophisticated and glamorous – and I was so immature myself – that I didn't fully comprehend how young they were. Scott was 24 and Zelda just 20 when he became a celebrity writer and she became The Great Man's Wife. It was too much too soon. They were too gorgeous, too eccentric, too damaged and damaging. It's painful to read how they inevitably unraveled.

 

Cline tells their story from a distinctly pro-Zelda, feminist POV. I appreciated it. While Zelda was exasperating and exhausting and clearly not well – there's an episode of her playing tennis in the nude that is the very definition of disinhibition – it's not like Scott was the Gold's Gym of mental fitness himself. But it was Zelda who was stigmatized and institutionalized, in large part because Scott was a celebrity, Scott controlled the money, and, oh yeah, Scott was a man.

 

It's impossible to see her as Scott's victim, though. If that was Cline's goal, she missed the mark with me. He loved her so and never stopped, perhaps more than she loved him. She could be both loyal and breathtakingly cruel. They were so talented, so smart, so broken. I wonder if the real tragedy isn't that they found one another. 

 

Remember that line from Gatsby? Jordan says a bad driver is only unsafe when he meets another bad driver. I fear that Scott and Zelda were two fabulous bad drivers who collided. I'm heartbroken for them both.

 

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

  

 

Sunday Stealing

Labor Day Questions

1) What’s something you want to do before summer slips away? I want to trek to the ice cream shop on the other end of my neighborhood, just one more time. It's now weekends-only because the kids who man the counter are high school and college students. They're uniformly happy and polite and I know they need the tips. And, oh yeah, there's hot fudge!

2) What book are you currently reading? I just picked up Candy Apple Red by Nancy Bush. I have barely cracked it open, so I have little to say about it. I landed on this book because the one I wanted – The Sorority by the same author – was checked out.

3) What have you been listening to? Podcasts! Lots of podcasts. I'm focused on the MVP race (Shohei vs. PCA) and Harry and Meghan's return to the UK. Yes, I am passionate about the mid-terms and am working hard on my postcards to voters. But when it comes to podcasts, I go for pure entertainment. 

4) What shows or movies have you been watching? This weekend is Noir City Chicago, a film festival devoted to classic films noir. Last night I saw Black Angel with the gang from my movie group. There was infidelity, blackmail and murder. We enjoyed it thoroughly. 

 

 

Saturday 9

Working in the Coal Mine (1966)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Lee Dorsey sings that at 5:00 he's already on the job. What were you doing this morning at 5:00 AM? Still in bed. Maybe I was awake for a little bit – 50 years of getting up at 6:00 have had their lasting impact – but I'm always happy to roll over and go back to sleep.

2) He's worked so hard all week that he's too tired to enjoy his weekend. What are you doing for fun this holiday weekend? There's a classic film festival at The Music Box and I will be there.

 

Read all about it

3) Lee Dorsey was raised in Portland Oregon, home of the Portland Trailblazers. The NBA season kicks off next month. Do you have a favorite basketball team? Not really. Right now I'm still obsessed with my Chicago Cubs clinching their spot in the post-season.

 

4) This song was written by Allen Toussaint, who had a long career as a composer and producer. He produced Fats Domino in the late 1950s and worked with Elvis Costello and Paul McCartney into the new millennium. What job have you held the longest? I was at my last job the longest –18 years. That's really pretty unheard of in advertising and now, looking back, I'm proud of it.

 

5) In 1966, the year this song was popular, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey was born. Are you a good cook? No. Not in the least.

6) 1966 was the year when more Americans purchased color TVs and black and white sets. When you were a kid, did your family have a black and white TV? Yes. We got our first color set when I was about 7 years old.

7) Labor Day is a big weekend for mattress sales. Do you plan on buying a new mattress before the year is out? I just got my new mattress in July.

8) Though kids go back to class earlier these days, store aisles are still full of school supplies. When she was a little girl, Sam was crazy about her big box of 96 Crayola Crayons with a sharpener in the back. Share one of your back-to-school memories. My mom taking my sister and I for new back-to-school clothes. At the beginning of the evening it was fun. By the end I was fidgety and wanted to go home.

9) Labor Day weekend is the unofficial beginning of fall. Have you had any pumpkin spice yet? No. I think it's too early, but the local smoothie place is already promoting Pumpkin Delight, and it does look good.

 

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #478

 

 

 

Meet my imaginary sister. I grew up on Little Women. I always wanted to be Jo and have a Meg who could be yin to my yang. I yearn for a sister whose strengths complement mine, who could teach me things and with whom I could share. Alas, that is not what I got. So I adopt pretend sisters. The first was Nora Ephron, now it's Joanna Coles.

 

13 facts about Joanna Coles. 

 

1.  Joanna Coles has been in all manner of media for more than 40 years – newspapers (Britain's Daily Telegraph and The Guardian), radio (BBC Radio 4), TV (BB2, E! and Project Runway) and many, many glossy magazines.

 

2. She got her first story by kicking down a bathroom door. She was a newspaper reporter, covering the story of a woman in a high profile case who had just been freed from jail. The woman left the courtroom and fled into the ladies room. All the male reporters were patiently waiting but Joanna was propelled by adrenaline. Assuming the woman was hiding out from the press, she barrelled into the bathroom and kicked open the stall. The poor woman wasn't hiding, she was actually urinating. Joanna was mortified.

 

3. It was during this millennium, in magazines, and on this side of the pond that she really hit her stride. She went from editor at New York Magazine to editor-in-chief at both Marie Claire and Cosmo. Today she is all digital, which is where I found her. She is the Chief Content Editor of The Daily Beast (Substack, website and YouTube).

 

4. She is equally comfortable in the worlds of fashion and politics, which is why I find her so much fun. Her favorite interviews seems to have been with Barack Obama and Rep. Seth Moulton. She is also proud of getting OJ Simpson's first one-on-one interview post-acquittal.

 

5. Joanna advises us each to have "a big life," where we are engaged and giving back. This is key to satisfaction and fun "at any age and any stage." She is a fan of fun. She makes me laugh, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. Example: Her Melania Trump imitation is very good and her Donald Trump is terrible, but she enjoys doing it so I've heard it a lot.

 

6. She warns that "it's easy to spend a lot of time online at the expense of the real world." According to Joanna, digital social skills and interpersonal social skills are different and it's not "a zero sum world." In today's world we need both to have a rewarding life. As one who has to make myself interact in real life, I appreciate this reminder.

 

7. I love her look. She's 64, with white blonde hair and pale eyebrows. She favors tailored blazers over bold graphic t-shirts, whether she's wearing a skirt, slacks or jeans. Joanna has mastered creating visual impact while remaining age appropriate. I want her to take me shopping and then to have my make up done. I really need help in this area.

 

8. But there are areas of American life she is woefully unaware of. For example, in the run up to the IndyCar race in Washington DC in late August, she was shocked – shocked, I tell you! – that cars would ever zoom through a busy metropolitan area! Um, Joanna? Chicago hosted a Nascar race through the city streets in 2023, 2024 and 2025, and we have approximately 2 million more people than Washington. She also seemed genuinely surprised by the outpouring of grief over Dolly Parton's death. I could help familiarize Joanna with a US beyond NYC and DC.  

 

9. Joanna met Peter Godwin when they were both journalists in London. They moved together to New York in the 1990s, marrying in 2001. He has written books and served President of PEN America, "whose goal is to raise awareness for the protection of free expression in the United States and worldwide through the advancement of literature and human rights."

 

10. Husband and wife co-authored a book called The Three of Us, which detailed her first pregnancy and what it was like to be new parents together in a new country. I can't find it at my library but I haven't stopped looking.

 

11. Today both their sons are grown. Joanna says often that now she wishes she had more children. She and Peter divorced after 18 years of marriage. I believe her husband got their dogs, and I have seen her cat interrupt her podcasts (as cats will).

 

12. Her mother died earlier this year. She was very frank in sharing that final illness and passing with us, often broadcasting from her childhood room in West Yorkshire as she bid farewell to her mother and tended to her father. I appreciated her candor, because dealing with aging parents is something we will all face.

 

13. She is an imaginative business woman. I read that in 2024, The Daily Beast was not profitable, and I am watching how she tests different subscription models and endorsement deals as she fights to turn it around.  

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

Trying to toss today away

Words of wisdom from former Cubs manager Joe Maddon: 

"Don't turn today's loss into tomorrow's loss. Take all those negative thoughts, wrap them around a rock and throw them into Lake Michigan."

I'm trying, Skipper. Tuesday was a bad day, little of it was within my control, and so I want to just watch it disappear into The Lake. 

First, the heat. We're at the beginning of an unusual September heatwave. Today the mercury reached 97º with a real feel of 102º. I thought these days were behind us for 2026. This heat exhausts me and makes everything worse. 

Then, my health. I woke up Tuesday morning with a stuffy nose, a stuffy head, and a scratchy throat. Oh, goody! I have a busy 10 days or so ahead of me and I don't need this right now. To make it worse, I had diarrhea. Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!

Finally, the crazy lady. This was the most disturbing. She's homeless and has mental issues. She talks to herself. She drags a grocery store cart of her belongings behind her (instead of pushing it in front of her). She parks herself on a ledge near one of the entrances to the grocery store. I've seen her kick her flip flops at people and pull her shorts down her thighs to cool off, and she's always arguing with herself or maybe with passersby. Anyway, today as I entered* she grumbled at me. Or did she? I mean, maybe she was mad at the voices in her head. After I paid, I considered going out the other door to avoid her – Snarkypants would tell me this was my spidey sense sending me a warning – but that would force me to walk an extra block outside. Did I mention it was nearly 100º? She saw me, stood up, and threw a cup of liquid in my face.

I have no idea why. I was shocked but wordlessly kept walking. Most of the liquid went on my right forearm and my glasses (not my eyes, my glasses). A young couple walking their dog stopped me to ask if I was OK. I'm glad they did because – I know this will sound weird – I was almost not sure it had actually happened. They asked if I felt alright, if the liquid smelled or burned. No, and as I spoke to them I was sure it was just water. 

After the crazy lady loaded up her cart and moved on, I went back into the store and let them know what happened. I wasn't angry at the store because really, there was nothing they could do about her. But I wanted them to know because the staff enters/exits that door after closing and they need to be careful. Then when I got home, after I scrubbed my face, I called the police. I wouldn't give my name because I didn't want to waste time/money on paperwork. I just wanted to make sure the beat cop (whom I've met through the card shop) is aware that the crazy lady is escalating. 

Oh, yeah, the Cubs lost to the Brewers! You can see why I just want to toss today away.

 

*I needed toilet cleaner. It was that kind of day.