Sunday Stealing

Things I Love Beginning with S 

1. Shrimp

2. Spaghetti 

3. Springsteen music

4. Streisand movies/music

5. "Silly Love Songs"

Saturday 9

 

Saturday 9: Won't You Be My Valentine? (1961)

 

1) Dore Alpert sings that while he considered asking others to be his Valentine, he's sure that this is the girl he wants to love "forever more." What do you think is the secret of a long-lasting romantic relationship? As a barren spinster, I do not feel qualified to comment.

2) Dore is better known as Herb Alpert. He used the name "Dore" early in his career because he thought it was more befitting a teen idol than "Herb." Who made you swoon when you were a teenager?

 

This is how he looked when I was a swooning teen

 

 

3) Herb found he was a better trumpeter than singer. Between 1962 and 1969, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, had 12 consecutive gold albums. They were so popular that in 1966, they sold more records than Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Of those artists (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones), which is your favorite? The answer to #2 provides a clue.

4) He found his greatest success as an executive. Herb and partner Jerry Moss founded A&M Records and signed an array of talented artists including Cheech and Chong, The Carpenters, and Cat Stevens. Herb was happy to step away from performing and run the record label. Are you comfortable in front of an audience or crowd? Or would you prefer to be behind the scenes? I think behind the scenes because that's really where the power is. When I was young and working in advertising, I was so jealous of the actresses and models who crossed my path. But now I see that I was the lucky one. As the one who wrote the advertisements, I always had a job. I was on salary. They were always scrambling. Sure, they turned heads when they entered a room and were never without a date on New Year's Eve, but they were often unsure as to how to make their rent.

5) Karen admitted that when The Carpenters were first signed by A&M, she had a crush on Herb and liked his aftershave lotion. Do you usually wear a fragrance? Yes. I recently unearthed Fendi for Women. It's been discontinued for years. But I've had cologne and body lotion tucked in a drawer for years (decades?) and it's like meeting up with an old friend. 

This is our Valentine's Day Saturday 9 and so this morning we shall focus on the holiday. 

6) The holiday is also known as The Feast of St. Valentine. Do you have a special meal planned for February 14? Nope.

7) Thames River Cruises offers special dinner cruises for Valentine's Day that give lovers a view of London. Some cruises offer live jazz, others classical music. Which would you prefer: jazz or classical? Jazz.

 
8) Women buy and send more Valentines than men do. Who received the last greeting card you sent? My friend Elaine. I sent her a Valentine on behalf of her two cats.

9) Men buy and send more roses at Valentine's Day than women do. What's your favorite flower? Carnations. They are so durable and come in so many colors.

 

   

Thursday Thirteen #450

  

Say it with sweetly. Here are 13 of the sayings you'll find on candy hearts.

1. I ❤ U

2. Kiss Me

3. GOAT

4. Yes Plz

5. Too Cool

6. Only You

7. Let's Hang

8. Cutie

9. Bae

10. Be Mine

11. On Fleek (I had to look this up. It means "well done" or "perfectly executed.")

12. BFF

13. True Love 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Peaceful, Grateful

I started worrying Saturday.  It was my Cousin Rose's birthday and via Facebook I sent her a message, a GIF of her favorite, Han Solo. I'd also sent her a gift, which the USPS confirmed had arrived in plenty of time for her big day. All I heard back was crickets.

This is not like Rosie. She would never not acknowledge a gift. Never. The woman is hardwired to mind her manners. 

So I went to text her. Her phone told my phone it was "not available."

This was Rosie's 80th birthday. A big deal. I can't imagine her not checking social media or her phone to get and enjoy birthday wishes!

By Sunday I was freaking out. I was going to reach out to her cousin, Marlene.* Rosie had knee surgery in mid-January and Marlene has been staying with her. Not just because Marlene is a good cousin. She lives in Michigan and January is a good time to help Rosie recuperate in Tampa.

But then I realized something: I thought Rosie was dead and I didn't want it confirmed. As long as no one told me she was dead, it wasn't real.

What a wimpy, stupid way to feel! Yet it was how I felt. 

On Monday I mailed Rosie a postcard, asking her to let me know how she is. My reasoning was if she got it, she would reach out. And well, if she didn't get it, it would remind Marlene or whoever was handling things that they should give me the news.

I checked my phone over and over. No word from Tampa. This just emphasized my ambivalence: I wanted to hear, and I didn't want to hear.

Today – Wednesday – when I went down to get the mail I discovered something glorious: Rosie's handwriting on an envelope!

She lost her phone shortly after she liked one of my Facebook posts (it was about the Cubs' Ernie Banks) on February 1. She's sure she left it in the courtesy van that took her to her physical therapy appointment, but the van company couldn't find it.

She's got a new phone, but she admits she needs her niece and grand-nephew to come over and set it up for her. Neither she nor Marlene can figure it out. (At least Marlene's phone is charged and working fine, so they're connected to the outside world.)

Rosie also thanked me for her birthday present – because of course she did – and reiterated how much she likes and uses the blanket I sent her right after she had her knee done a few weeks ago. 

Rosie exasperates me. The 12 year age difference is always there in her mind, making me the junior partner in our relationship. When I was 15 and she was 27, I welcomed her input on my clothes and hair and attitudes and aspirations. Now that we're both AARP members, it just feels judgey and nitpicky.

But she loves me. The older I get, the more I value that. Because I'm blessed with the ability to make friends easily, I think I somehow always assumed people would be like Pop Tarts in a toaster – a new one will pop up. But all relationships are not created equal.

There is no one to replace John, who died after 40+ years of friendship. Or Henry, who died after loving me for more than 30 years. Or my oldest friend, who because of her physical/emotional challenges can no longer offer me comfort or companionship. 

There are new people in my life – Elaine and Joanna, Nancy and Will. But it's not the same. None of them went with me to Wrigley Field three days in a row to watch the Cubs play the World Champion Cincinnati Reds. Rosie did that in 1976. None of them taught me how to braid hair, like Rosie did in the late 1960s. None of them held me as a baby.

There's no replacing Rosie. 

Knowing she's out there and OK has left me feeling peaceful and oh, so grateful.

 

 

*Marlene and I are not related, and I'm not sure I've ever met her. But certainly she knows about me, just as I do her. 

 

Photo by Aravind Balabhaskar on Unsplash

Sunday Stealing

One Word Answers ONLY

1. Where is your cell phone? Kitchen

2. Tell us about your hair. Pretty

3. What's your favorite thing? Books

4. What room are you in? Bedroom

5. Where did you grow up? Hometown

6. What aren't you good at? Singing

7.  Your favorite drink? Coke

8. Where do you want to be in 10 years? Here

9. Your mood. Good

10. Last time you cried. Tuesday

 

 

Shecky is in the house!

The National Prayer Breakfast has been held in Washington DC every year since before I was born. Billy Graham was a force in its early days, helping to convince President Eisenhower to address religious, social, and business leaders from around the world. Christians, Muslims and Jews gather to talk about faith – in one another, in community and in a higher power. Mother Teresa used the National Prayer Breakfast to condemn abortion as "a war against children." Bono spoke about how his personal spiritual journey led him to Africa to fight disease and hunger.

Want to know what President Donald Trump spoke about on Thursday?

•  He mocked Joe Biden's cognitive abilities. When the response was awkward, he went on to joke that Biden "had no idea he was President so he doesn't take it personally." 

•  He dismissed Rep. Thomas Massie as "a moron." Massie is one of Congress' most vocal advocates for the victims of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

•  He repeated lies about the 2020 election being "rigged" and admitted he had to win the 2024 election to salve his "big ego."

This was a prayer breakfast, not Don Rickles at The Sands. There was nothing humble, compassionate or reflective about his remarks. (OK, he did joke about whether he would make it to Heaven.)

He didn't take this opportunity to share firmly held beliefs because he doesn't seem to have any, except that he deserves praise and his enemies deserve derision. 

Don't take my word for any of this. Here is a transcript of your President's self-aggrandizing remarks. 

That was Thursday. But no one was talking about the Prayer Breakfast any more on Friday. Do you know why?

Trump's racist post about Obamas is deleted after backlash despite White House earlier defending it.

Isn't that a knee slapper?

Just to recap: He lies at a prayer breakfast where he celebrates his own ego and uses terms like "moron" to diminish others. He is unable to keep a civil tongue in his head for 30 minutes out of respect to religiosity. Then he shares a post where the Obamas are depicted as apes but insists he's done nothing wrong. That's just two days! I'm exhausted just watching him. I guess bile gives him stamina.

But at least he is cruel to people of color and the LGBTQ community. I guess as long as he hates who they hate, that's enough for 35% to 40% of our fellow Americans.

When are his "devout Christian" supporters finally going to have enough of this charlatan?

In the meantime, the rest of us have to stay alert and active. It's so easy to feel beaten down by all this hate. But we can't afford to. 

Combat Donald Trump with love. Let his supporters be motivated by fear and anger. I'm going to act out of positivity. I'm finding mid-term and special election candidates to support, giving money to organizations that protect the civil rights of those ensnared by ICE, and strengthening my ties to my own community.

My church has placed a refrigerator and a cabinet on the porch of the rectory. This is unrelated to the local food pantry. This is for those who can't/won't fill out the paperwork at the food pantry. They are either homeless or undocumented. Since ICE invaded Chicagoland, many have been afraid to go to their jobs and so food insecurity is a real issue. Now whenever I go to the grocery store, in addition to the beans or pasta I pick up for the food pantry,* I add ramen for the pantry on the porch. It feels good.

Don't let Donald Trump and MAGA beat you down. Live your faith. Find ways to respond that lift your spirits.

 

*Our food pantry serves people who are un- or under-employed and seniors for whom Social Security just isn't cutting it. This is important work and I'm happy to support it with cash and canned goods. But there's paperwork attached to getting the food. Clients need a photo ID with an address.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: You Make Me Feel So Young (1956)

 

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This morning, do you feel younger or older than your years? I have a slow-healing bruise on my forearm and my knee is achy. Also, when I hear all the bitching that Bad Bunny is a "dumb" or "silly" name, I can remember people saying the same thing about The Beatles in 1964. It's like everything old is new again, and I feel every moment of my 68 years.

 

2) In this song, Frank Sinatra tells us that every time he sees his lover's grin, he's happy. What's something you can reliably count on to lift your spirits? Feeding the cats. They are so cute at mealtime! Chatting with me to make their menu selections known, herding me into the kitchen, supervising food prep ... I love how communicative cats always are individually, but at mealtime they coordinate and double team me. 

 

3) The lyrics mention hide-and-seek. What games did you play when you were young? I don't recall ever playing hide-and-seek. The games I remember were the outside games – SPUD and all the permutations of tag (stoop tag, freeze tag, etc).

4) Frank Sinatra was a fan of Campbell's chicken and rice soup, believing it helped his throat feel better after an evening of performing. Is Campbell's soup in your kitchen right now? Yes. BTW, in her memoir, Streisand repeatedly rhapsodized about her love of Campbell's Tomato Soup. The marketing whore in me sees a campaign here. Somebody should reach out to Katy Perry or Kelly Clarkson. Maybe Reba. If one of them will also swear by Campbell's, we've got some commercials to make.

 

5) Frank's favorite dessert was a slice of lemon ricotta torte. He believed every meal should include "a final flourish." Do you more often indulge in or skip dessert? I'd be more likely to skip the meal than the dessert.

 

6) At Sinatra's home in Palm Springs, CA, you'd find a less sophisticated dessert. He always kept Entenmann's Crumb Cake on hand for his young granddaughters. Share a memory of your grandparents. My grandpa thought I was pretty great. Every knock-knock joke I learned at school was hilarious. Whenever he saw me with a book or comic book, he'd ask me to read aloud because I was so good at it. Every little girl should have a cheerleader like my grandpa.

 

7) In 1956, when this song was popular, Frank was tooling around Southern California in a blue Continental Mark II. That model was known for its interior of hand-stitched imported Scottish leather. 70 years later, Scottish leather is still used in luxury cars because it's both soft and durable and the production methods minimize environmental impact. If you could splurge on something right now, what would it be? A luxury car, jewelry, travel, clothes, something else? (No responsible answers allowed!) A luxury 2026 BMW is about $100,000, which is an awful lot of money to imagine myself playing with. In fact, I can't. After all, I'm a gal who has $1.25 cans of Campbell's Chicken Noodle in my cabinet. So I'll imagine that I have approx. $10,000 earmarked for fun. I'd take myself on the TCM Classic Film Cruise. To have my own private, deluxe stateroom (with veranda) for five nights would be $8,650. That includes all the movies I can handle, plus meals. I'd have to fly to/from the port in San Diego, and I'm not going economy, so that's about $1,000. One of the ports of call is Catalina Island, a place I'm curious about. Ah, like the song says, I'm California Dreamin' on such a winter's day.

 

 
8) Also in 1956, The Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Forbidden Planet were popular at the box office. Do you have a favorite sci-fi movie? Not really.

 

9) Random question: What were you doing three hours ago? Taking a nap. Which was stupid because it's after midnight and I'm wide awake.

 

Thursday Thirteen #449

 Tips for hiring contractors. I am not very handy. OK, I admit it: I don't know how to do a damn thing around here. So I depend on plumbers, handymen, etc.

If you're like me, you might benefit from these tips, cribbed from Consumer Reports. 

1. Find a repairman before you need one. You're bound to be upset when your car breaks down or you find yourself locked out of your house. You may not make your best decisions in such an emergency situation. Ask friends and neighbors who they turn to in a pinch and have those numbers on your phone.

 

2. Do your research. In addition to references from friends, read the Yelp/Google reviews. Check the Better Business Bureau.  

 

3. Contact the manufacturer first. Before you call the repairman for your refrigerator or washing machine, go to the manufacturer's website or call the 800#. Your problem might be a common one that's easy to trouble shoot.

 

4. Be prepared before you talk to prospective contractors. Provide as much detail as you can. Take photos you can share. 

 

5. Get written estimates. That's for parts and labor, both. No surprises. 

 

6. Remember, there are different types of replacement parts. If parts are going to involved, find out if they plan to use new, used, or genuine manufacturer replacement parts. Ask if this makes a difference in price. 

 

7. Specify that you want to retain/dispose of the old parts. This one was new to me. It helps reduce fraud because unscrupulous repairmen have been known to replace parts unnecessarily and then resell the one they just removed from your appliance. (Gulp! Shit like this just makes me want to pull the sheets up over my head.)

 

8. Before you hire, verify the credentials of the repairman who is going to do the actual work. I don't know why, but conversations like this make me uncomfortable.

 

Hopefully the work goes well. But what if it doesn't? 

 

9. Pay with your credit card, not your debit card. Financial institutions offer protections for credit card purchases that you just don't get with your debit card. If you don't want to pay with a credit card, write a check that you can stop payment on. Even that is safer than using your debit card.

 

10. If your appliance breaks down again shortly after the repair, give the contractor a chance to make things right. If they guarantee their work, they may come over and repair the repair at no charge.  

 

11. If you can't reach an agreement with the contractor, call in another repairer. You still need your refrigerator or washing machine, right? There's no use going without while disputing things with the original repairman. Just be sure to document everything about the second repair – photos, receipts, etc. They will come in handy if you have to prove your damages in small claims court (more info on this ahead).

 

12. You have recourse against bad service. First, contact the credit card company (remember #9?) and work with them to have the charge reversed. Then take to social media and warn others on Yelp and Google.

 

13. Legal questions? Consumer Reports recommend you turn to NOLO.com for information about filing a small claims action in your state.

I've really been rather fortunate with my contractors. No horror stories. How about you? 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Not the first time I've been this wrong

In January 2020, I was sure that Harry and Meghan stepping away from Royal duties would be the biggest news story of the year. Then everything shut down for Covid. 

I had another Great Moment in Wrongness on January 24. Elaine had invited Will and me to meet her at the deli next to the Music Box Theater. The plan was bagels at 10:45 and Barbara Stanwyck on the big screen at 11:30. I'd have to leave my home around 10:00 AM. No biggie, right?

I was surprised when I woke up later than I'd intended. Usually the cats don't let me sleep in because they want breakfast. But on Saturday, January 24, nobody was walking on me, purring and willing me awake. I padded into the kitchen and found out why.

Roy Hobbs has somehow managed to get past the childproof lock and climbed into the kitchen cabinet.  He ate through the bag and gorged himself on Connie's prescription cat food. There was kibble everywhere. For good measure, he vomited. 

So I had to wrap what was left of the cat food bag in Saran Wrap and encase it in a paper bag. And vacuum out the cabinet. And clean up the puke, all before my shower. I was running short on time. I was stressed.

Elaine was in a weird mood. I thought the movie was rather trippy. On the way home, I stopped for a burger and reflected on what a crappy Saturday it had been. I got home about 3:30, sure the worst was behind me. I'd curl up on the sofa, watch Columbo reruns, and shop Amazon for containers that lock to keep Roy Hobbs out of the kibble.

Then I turned on the TV. Alex Pretti had been shot in the back by ICE agents. While he was on the ground. Just weeks after Renee Good had been shot after telling an ICE agent, "I'm not mad at you, dude."

I remember Kent State. This image is seared on my soul. Here we are again. This anguished girl is all of us right now.

 

What the ever loving fuck. Our government is shooting our citizens in the street. Their crime? Disagreeing with the policies of Dear Leader, Donald J. Trump.

Do not tell me that Alex Pretti spat at an ICE agent and kicked out a tail light. That happened more than a week before the shooting so it's not relevant. And even if it was, those are not death penalty offenses. The officers should have arrested Pretti, not executed him in the street.

Don't you dare mention that Pretti was carrying a gun to a protest. The GOP has been arguing for decades that we all have a Second Amendment right to bear arms. And Donald J. Trump pardoned rioters who brought bear spray, zip ties and, yes, firearms to the Capitol on January 6.

I have not been the same since January 24, and no, it wasn't the kibble incident in the kitchen. Alex Pretti happened. After ICE agents here in Chicagoland haunted school parking lots and loitered outside The Home Depot and (wait for it) the children's museum in search of "the worst of the worst." After Renee Good. After five-year-old Liam Ramos was shipped away to a detention center in another state.

OK, so what am I going to do about this?

I'm sending incremental money to the ACLU. I'm working on Democratic voter registration in red states. I'm concentrating my efforts lower ballot initiatives and special elections. 

I still believe in America. I still believe in the system. 

But we are broken. Approximately 35%-40% of Americans still approve of Donald Trump. They are so afraid of the LGBTQ community and people of color that they excuse his cruelty and disregard for the rule of law. And they so often do it while wrapping themselves in my Christian faith!

Whatever happened to, "whatever you did for the least of my brothers and sisters, you did for me?" I guess they found the loophole, which is, of course, that you don't have to love brothers or sisters who are trans or brown. After all, Donald Trump has made terror and cruelty OK. Patriotic, even.

So prayer is important here, too. But I won't pray to change the hearts of  35%-40% of Americans. I have to concentrate on my own heart and not let myself get too exhausted by this blanket of unremitting ugliness.

 

PS I truly believe that ICE began entering Blue State cities as a political calculation, to change the headlines away from Epstein. Just like Greenland and Venezuela and the Kennedy Center and the East Wing were designed to distract us from Epstein. The shenanigans in Georgia are meant to rig the mid-terms and protect Trump from Epstein. I have no idea what's in those files, but he must believe it would shake the faith of his loyal 35%-40%. I want those files released, if only to put an end to the desperate self-preservation measures of Donald J. Trump.

 

Sunday Stealing

The Old School Blogging Meme

I am passionate about ...

1) The mid-terms

2) Adopt-don't-shop initiatives (Really, a shelter animal will love you just as much.)

3) The movies I watch

4) The Beatles

5) BASEBALL! (Soon, Gal, it all begins again soon.)
 

I'd like to learn ...

1) Spanish

2) Time management

3) Movement/mobility (Getting better at yoga would be a good start)

4)

5)

 

Things I say a lot ...

1) "I'm sorry."

2) "What the fuck?"

3) "The thing of it is ..."

4) "Alexa, what's the temperature outside?"

5) "Alexa, call my phone."

 

Places I'd like to travel to ...

These are all places I'd like to see again. 

1) Graceland, Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee

I wonder if the Christmas lights are still up

2) Colonial Williamsburg (especially The Spa)

Everything about that spa is attractive and relaxing

 

3)  Hot Springs National Park 

I loved looking down from that steamy railing

4) TCL Chinese Theater in Hollywood

I'll be there for the TCM Film Festival this spring

 

5) The Las Vegas Strip

A great place for people watching and laughter

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Big Star (1962)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Shelley Fabares sings that when she hears her lover's records on the radio, they bring back memories. Do you prefer familiar songs or do you seek out new music? My radio dial is set to the oldies.

2) Shelley introduced "Big Star" on an episode of The Donna Reed Show, where she played daughter Mary. She remembers the show's star and her TV mom, Donna Reed, as "an extraordinary woman." Who is your favorite TV mom? Lucy Ricardo. My favorite I Love Lucy episode is the one where Little Ricky has his tonsils out. The evening before, in his hospital room, as he dozes off she promises her little boy that she will be right there with him in the morning when he wakes up. Then she's informed by the hospital staff that visiting hours are over and she has to leave. BUT SHE PROMISED HIM! She pretends to leave but sneaks around the hospital to get back to her little boy. Of course it's silly and hijinks ensue. But when she makes it back to him and climbs into the crib with him, I well up. Sometimes (okay, usually) when Lucy does stupid things it's for selfish reasons. This time, she put all of her considerable will and creative zaniness into keeping her promise to her little boy. 

 

3) Speaking of big stars, Shelley made three movies with Elvis, who said she was his favorite leading lady. What qualities do you value in a coworker? I appreciate a coworker who is more focused on the task at hand than personal accomplishment/credit. I hope I am that coworker. I want to be.

4) Though best known for comedy, Shelley appeared as Cathy in a made-for-TV adaptation of Wuthering Heights. Have you ever read the Emily Bronte classic? Yes. I was disappointed. I enjoyed Jane Eyre so much and thought Wuthering Heights would be more of the same. That's what I get for assuming the Bronte sisters were alike. (I should know better. I have two sisters myself and we're very different women.) PS What was up with Heathcliff anyway? Way too Type A for me.
 
5) Shelley Fabares' aunt was Broadway, film and TV veteran Nanette Fabray. Do you have a favorite aunt or uncle? My favorite uncle brought magic into every room he entered. He was so funny, so imaginative. I guess he was just a big kid himself. I miss him.
 
6) In the 1990s she was twice nominated for an Emmy Award (Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy) for her work on Coach. She didn't win. Millions of viewers got to see her applaud graciously when Laurie (Roseanne) Metcalf's named was announced both times. If you were nominated for a major award and the ceremony was televised, would you get all dressed up and go? Or would you prefer to watch from home? I think I'd go just for the experience of it – the special dress, the professionally done hair and make up, sitting around celebrities. I went to a much (MUCH) smaller local awards ceremony where my team was nominated and we won. It was November 2000. I remember I wore a bouclé jacket over black slacks and when I was on the stage I couldn't see a thing. All I saw was the light in my eyes. It was disruptive and awkward to make our way back to our row in the dark. Not as glamorous as it was when I pretended to win an Oscar in my girlhood bedroom.
 
7) In 1962, when this song was first released, Jack Nicklaus launched his legendary golf career. Do you enjoy playing golf? Do you watch golf on TV? Nope. I think golf is boring. Though I bet it's not at all boring to those who play and are passionate about it.
 
8) Also in 1962, Marilyn Monroe bought her first home at the age of 36. Up until then she had always been a renter. Marilyn was residing there at the time of her death that August. How long have you lived at your current address? I moved in during 2001, not long after the awards ceremony referenced in #6. How weird that my mind keeps returning to that time this morning.
 
9) Random question – According to a survey, the average American will kiss 15 different partners over their lifetime. Do you estimate your personal total is more, less, or right on track?My guess is less, but to be honest, I have no idea. During my party girl days, I did a lot of kissing and it was inconsequential fun.

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #448

13 Celebrity Judges. I am fascinated by reality court shows. It's a durable syndicated TV genre, beginning with Judge Wapner and The People's Court back in the 1980s. They feature civil cases – like unpaid bills and landlord/tenant disputes – as opposed to criminal cases. The litigants agree to abide by the ruling of the TV judge, but they often don't have to pay very much. The show pays both sides an appearance fee, and usually the producers take the judgement out of the loser's stipend. That way the loser is not out that much, and got to stay in a nice hotel and enjoy room service, courtesy of the show's producers.

 

Here are 13 of the judges who dispense(d) justice on daytime TV.

 

1. Judge Joseph Wapner. Made famous by Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man ("One minute to Wapner!"). He was TV's first chief arbiter, appearing on The People's Court from 1981 to 1993, when it was cancelled.

2. Judge Ed Koch. When The People's Court was revived in late 1993, the former Mayor of New York put on the robes.

3. Judge Marilyn Milian. After she retired from the Florida State Circuit Court, she climbed onto the bench of The People's Court, where she stayed for more than 20 years. Today she hosts Justice for the People. (She's my favorite.)

4. Judge Jerry Sheindlin. In between Koch and Milian, Judge Jerry heard cases on The People's Court. He's best known as the husband of Judge Judy. When their shows aired opposite one another, he usually lost, which is why his time on the TV bench was rather short. 

5. Judge Judy Sheindlin. She's the queen of the genre, in the Guinness Book of Records for presiding over more TV cases than any other judge. Between her own shows (first Judge Judy, now Judy Justice), more than a dozen books, real estate, and her production company, she is worth more than $70 million.

6. Judge Greg Mathis. Second only to Judge Judy in terms of shows/cases presided over, he took an interesting route to TV fame. As a teenager he was a purse snatcher and served time on a concealed weapons charge. He promised his mother he would get his GED while behind bars. Upon his release, he went to college, then law school. In 1999, after five years on the bench in Michigan, he moved to TV, where he's been ever since.

7. and .8 Dana Tippin Cutler and Kevin Cutler. This married couple, both judges, presides over cases together on Couples Court (rebooted as Cutlers Court). Their cases are less legal than "relationship based" – Is he cheating on you? Does she owe you money? Want someone to pay for your paternity test?

9. Alex Ferrer. He went from cop to prosecutor to criminal court judge and then for 9 seasons presided over his own show. I watched him on Friday afternoons, back in those long-ago days before covid when we got out of the office early. I had a crush on him. He had great teeth.

10. Star Jones. The star of Divorce Court. Though not a judge in real life, she is a licensed attorney best known for appearing on The View during the Barbara Walters years. Since divorces can only be granted by a state court, Star is limited to property settlements.

11. Larry Elder. Not a judge but an attorney, he began his TV career on Moral Court, "where it pays to be right." Family members, neighbors, business partners, etc., would air their grievances and Elder would decide who was right. His rulings were based not on the law but his personal ethics. The winner would get between $500 and $2,000. From here he went on to conservative talk radio and California politics. Considering that he didn't exactly bathe himself in glory during covid – peddling conspiracy theories and anti-vax talk – I find it ruefully amusing that he used his personal ethics to decide cases.

12. Jeanine Pirro. Yes, the US Attorney for the District of Columbia. Like the President who appointed her, she had a reality show. Judge Jeanine ran for two seasons and won a Daytime Emmy in 2011.

13. Steve Harvey. He's not a judge at all but a comedian and host. Yet in 2022, litigants let him decide their cases for a season.

This only scratches the surface. There are many more reality court shows streaming and in syndication.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Sunday Stealing

Here are 10 things that make me happy:

1. My flannel sheets on a frigid night

2. That "pop" when I open a Coke can

3. Photos of Violet, my great-niece                            

4. Scratching an activity off my "to-do" list

5. Losing myself in a good biography

6. A good steak*

7. My morning shower

8. Watching my cats enjoy their breakfast

9. Meeting up with friends

10. Unexpectedly hearing Sir Paul on the radio

 

*I think about steak a lot because I'm in the midst of dental work and can't enjoy one right now

  

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Up the Ladder to the Roof (1970)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Many people are uncomfortable with ladders. Some feel unsteady on the steps, others have a fear of heights. Then there's the superstition that warns against walking under ladders. Are you afraid of ladders? I love my ladder at home. It's shiny and sturdy and makes it possible for me to change those overhead light bulbs and my smoke detector batteries. Not crazy about the step ladders at work, though. Nothing to hold onto on the way down. 

 

2) In this song, the Supremes advise us to go up the ladder to the roof to be closer to Heaven. While poetic, that's not really why most homeowners climb onto the roof. They're more likely replacing shingles or cleaning the gutters. Have you ever been on the roof of your building? I've been up there twice, both times to discuss the condition of the roof with contractors and fellow condo board members. Both times I nodded sagely and pretended I understood what was being said.

 

3) The record was the Supremes first and biggest hit without Diana Ross. When Jean Terrell replaced Diana as lead singer, the two ladies appeared together at a press event to launch this new iteration of the Supremes. Have you ever met your replacement at a job, or perhaps the person you replaced? Yes. Advertising in Chicago can be a surprisingly small world.

 

4) Mary Wilson was a member of the group when it was formed in 1959 and stayed through 1977, when the Supremes officially disbanded. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American stays at a job 3.9 years. Looking over your job history, how long did you typically stick with an employer? I worked full-time for 48 years. Answering this question accurately would require entirely too much math. My best guess is around 5 years.

 

5) The third Supreme performing on this record was Cindy Birdsong. After the group broke up for good, Cindy finished nursing school and practiced at UCLA Medical Center. When did you last interact with a nurse or nurse practitioner? This week! My nurse practitioner sent me the good news about my annual mammogram and refilled a prescription for me. I love how available she is.

 
6) In 1970, when this song was popular, TV shows about doctors like Marcus Welby, MD and Medical Center ranked high in the Nielsen ratings. Medical shows are still popular today, with Grey's Anatomy entering its 22nd season and The Pitt earning critical accolades. Do you have a favorite TV doctor? Dr. Michael Rossi of Peyton Place. He was the best person in the sin-soaked town. He truly cared about every horny teenager, frustrated housewife, wife-beater, nymphomaniac and alcoholic who entered his office. Yet for some reason he couldn't get laid. His first lady friend was frigid, his second dumped him for a man from her past, his third got hauled away to prison for perjury, his fourth tragically ended up at the bottom of a cliff ... and all before he could "kick it through the goal posts," if you will. 

 

Won't someone please sleep with this man?

7) Also in 1970, when this song was popular, audiences were lining up to see the movie Love Story. Without looking it up, complete the film's most famous line:  "Love means _______________." I don't have to look it up. I had this poster on my bedroom wall. I don't know why, but in the summer between 7th and 8th grade, my friends and I just loved movies that made us cry.

 

 

PS Ryan O'Neal, aka Oliver Barrett III in Love Story, got his big break on Peyton Place. It's like a Peyton Place reunion around here.

 

8) Slumberchums™ were all the rage among pre-teens in 1970. These sleeping bags had attached pillow "heads" that made it look like you slipping into sleep inside a plush bear. When did you most recently sleep in a sleeping bag? Approx. 25 years ago. My niece's Brownie troop needed another "mother" for an overnight camping trip and I was pressed into service. My niece is now a mother herself.

 

9) Random question: Did you take a multivitamin this morning? If yes, did you swallow it or chew it? Swallowed it. I have two temp crowns and under the circumstances, chewables would do more harm than good.