Tuesday, March 01, 2011

10 on Tuesday

Ten Completely Batshit Things Charlie Sheen Has Said Lately

It's unfortunate that he's unraveling before our eyes. It's even more unfortunate that I find myself unable to look away. I mean, I know he's ill, perhaps bipolar, and likely in a great deal of psychic pain. But unlike repellent Mel Gibson, Charlie manages to be colorful and imaginative. Oh yeah, and completely batshit.

1) "I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself."

2) "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen."

3) "I don't have burnout in my gearbox."

4) "There's a new sheriff in town, and he has an army of assassins."

5) "Funny how 'sleep' rhymes with 'sheep.'"

6) "I'm a veteran of the unspeakable."

7) "I am special and I will never be one of you."

8) "Touch my children and I will eat your hands off your arms."

9) "Borrow my brain for, like, 5 seconds and you'll be like, 'Dude, I can't handle it.'"

10) "I'm rolling out magic, bro."

And, because no mere list of 10 can contain Charlie ...

11) "I have a 10,000 year old brain and the boogers of a 7 year old."

The Queen's Meme

1. When is the last time you returned a library book? Around Halloween. It was called Happy Times, and it was overdue.

2. Is there anyone you'd like to see return to your life? My grandpa. He died when I was in high school, just as I was learning what a wise, interesting man he was in his own right -- as opposed to just being the loving grandpa who laughed at every one of my jokes, kept the supply of cookies coming and gave great hugs.

3. Have you finished your income tax return? Yes. And I'm expecting my refund to be direct deposited into my checking account on or before 3/11. (Not that I'm too eager or anything.)

4. Do you ever return things to the store for refund, credit or exchange? Have you had a bad experience with customer service over this issue? Tell us your story. Yes. No. The only place I've had consistently had trouble with customer service is at the US Postal Service and they don't take returns.

5. You would like to see your favorite movie named The Return of Katie and Hubbell.

6. Is there something you're still waiting to be returned to you? My youthful energy level.

7. You are in a canyon. On the other side stands your beloved. You stand and shout something to him/her making a large echo. What do you want to hear in return? "As you wish." (Highly romantic Princess Bride reference.)

8. If you could turn back and go in the reverse direction in your life, making things better for yourself and those you love, how would your journey begin? "If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back those things that hurt you and you'd stay ..." Yes, it kinda corny. But it's enduring because don't we all have things we would love to take to back?

Avoid the dungeon! Participate in The Queen's Meme by clicking here.