Thursday, June 08, 2006

I'm sooo tired

I ain't as young as I used to be. I just finished a concept presentation to my client, and I'm exhausted.

I used to get off the on deadlines, the pressure, the adrenaline rush. Rising to the occasion. I thought it was terrific to be the "go-to" girl, the one the team couldn't do without.

No more. I'm no longer interested in being the star. When I took this particular job in 2004, I negotiated for time off as a bonus rather than money. Now all I want is the opportunity to take that vacation time. Our timelines are so tight that I don't know when I'll be able to enjoy a long weekend. June doesn't look too promising …

Right now I can't bear the thought of going back into the office, dealing with my coworkers again. It just feels exhausting. I remember when it felt like a team; pulling together for long hours, working together toward a common goal, once felt like summer camp. At this very moment I hate them all.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask my boss for permission to at least work from home on Monday. That would be nice. Maybe I just need a little quiet time alone to recharge. Right now, my ideal weekend would be to take a few long walks, stock up my new refrigerator (arriving Saturday), maybe a movie or a rented DVD or two, and no demands. No conversation. Just me. Ah ...