Saturday, May 01, 2010

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Question Meme

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? No. But that's only because Sir Paul, Mark Harmon and my beloved future Hall of Famer, Greg Maddux, are all currently in relationships and are too upstanding to cheat on their significant others to make my fantasies come true. Oh yeah, and none of them know I exist.

02) What was your dream growing up? I was going to be a wildly popular singer, maybe branching out into TV and movies. My dream was dashed in junior high when my music teacher explained what the term "tone deaf" means.

03) What talent do you wish you had? See #2.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? You know, I haven't had a kir royale in quite a while, and since you're buying ...

05) Favorite vegetable? Peas.

06) What was the last book you read? Unwise Passions, the biography of Ann Randolph. She rocked!

07) What zodiac sign are you? Sagittarius. Barely. I was born at 12:01 AM on November 22. 90 seconds earlier and I would be a Scorpio.

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Just a single piercing in each ear.

09) Worst Habit? Complete lack of discipline.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? No. Because I don't have a car.

11) What is your favorite sport? Go, Cubs, go!

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? I'm cautiously optimistic. When I start to spin out, I awfulize -- imagining the absolute worst -- then realize I can handle it and try to get on with it.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Ring the alarm, call 911 on my cell, and then sit in the corner and wait for help. What would you do?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? I let myself get way too involved with a real creep and it had ramifications that I still deal with.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I am wearing support hose as I complete this meme. And I'm just delighted about it.

16) Do you have any pets? Yes. In fact, Charlotte Ann Cat is sitting just over my left shoulder, watching me complete this meme.

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? You would be waiting in the vestibule downstairs because I don't buzz open the door for unexpected strangers.

18) What was your first impression of me? That you're kind of pushy about wanting to come over.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary, with their painted-on, pointy "I just killed my wife" smiles. Shudder.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd have a waist again.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? What are we going to do?

22) What color eyes do you have? Green.

23) Ever been arrested? No.

24) Bottle or can soda? Bottle.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? I'd put $1000 away each for my mom, my niece and my nephew. I'd take a quick trip to Boston or DC, and I'd pay down my B of A credit card (see counter at right) with what's left.

26) What's your favorite place to hang out at? Monk's Pub. It's been my favorite dive for decades. I recommend the steak sandwich.

27) Do you believe in ghosts? You mean like Caspar? No. But I believe that those who have gone to God still watch over us.

28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Watch TV or fart around online.
29) Do you swear a lot? Fuck yes!

30) Biggest pet peeve? These damn support hose.

31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Short.

32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Yes to both.

33) Favorite and least favorite food? Thumbs up: Burgers. Thumbs down: Sushi.

34) Do you believe in God? Yes.

I'm boycotting #35 because I'm sick beyond endurance of all these plugs. (Blame it on the support hose.)

It's like I'm there

The surgeon distracted me from the ouches he was inflicting on my legs today (see below) by telling me about his trip last weekend to the opening of New Orleans Jazz Fest. He saw Simon & Garfunkle and The Allman Brothers Band and lots of jazz/gospel acts I haven't heard of. My best friend is there this weekend, seeing Pearl Jam and Van Morrison and lots of jazz/gospel acts I haven't heard of. Sounds like a helluva party, huh? Living vicariously through them takes some of the blech out of wearing spending Saturday night in these fucking support hose. (Though at least the USA Network was good enough to run an NCIS marathon, so I have my TV boyfriend Gibbs to keep me company.)

BTW, this poster was originally a painting by Tony Bennett. How's that for cool?


Support hose. They suck. They are hot and all around icky. I must wear them for a full fucking week, all the way until next Saturday morning, in order to prevent clotting after my first vein treatment.

The procedure itself was fine. The doctor was very nice, he and his tech were very chatty and kept things light. And he's a Cub fan! As near as I can tell (I'm still bandaged), I had injections in about 20 sites on both legs. There's no pain, just a little itchiness -- and that could be from the antiseptic and gauze and tape as much as the shots.

But these fucking hose. They cannot come off until my shower tomorrow morning, and then they're supposed to go right back on. AAARGH!

And I've got to call the doctor's office tomorrow and leave word that I those were my shorts on the examining room floor. I left them there after wrestling with the support hose and then my blue jeans. Sometimes I'm such a ditz.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Changes

1. Tell us about one thing that you'd change about yourself if you could. My weight. I hate being a pudge.

2. Mattel decides to make a Barbie-like (or Ken-like) doll of you -- what would be the most important accessory or accessories they would absolutely have to package you with in order to portray your lifestyle? A big purse, iPod and sunglasses. No outfit is complete without them.

3. Hey, do you like surprises? If yes, what kinds? Not really. Surprises can make me uncomfortable because, to borrow from my shrink, I like to control what the audience sees and surprises make that more difficult.

4. What was the last snail mail that you received that was significant? A thank-you note from a coworker who appreciated my efforts to make her new baby feel welcome in the world.

5. If you could pick out a brand new nickname for yourself, what would you choose and why? I have a few nicknames already, and they're fine with me.

6. John Edward's mistress was on Oprah this past Thursday. She stated that no third person can break up a marriage, so it had to be broken before the two started doing the nasty. Do you buy that? Yes. People who value their relationships can most certainly be tempted, but they choose not respond to temptation. Even John Edwards is a high functioning mammal with free will, after all.

7. Do you think it is okay to keep secrets from your s/o? Yes. My romantic history is my own damn business, thank you very much. (Not my medical history, but my romantic one.)

8. Have you ever played Truth or Dare? If yes, what's the weirdest dare that you did? Oh, God! I'm sorry but I don't remember that far back.

9. What, in hindsight, the stupidest thing that you have ever done? Let me preface this story by saying, this was the 80s -- I did a few lines of coke to prepare for a party and then, when I got there, was distressed by the crappy selection of booze that was being served. I'm not a Mateus Rose gal. So I swigged from my own bottle of Korbel and before I knew it, the bottle was empty. In little more than an hour. The coke stopped me from puking or acting too drunk, but it certainly clouded my judgement. My friend John, one of the world's great partiers, was frightened by the prospect of alcohol poisoning and took me under his wing. When JOHN thinks you have had enough, you have had enough.

Plot? What plot?

Watching Ocean's 13 as I wander about, preparing for my Saturday. I remember seeing it at the theater, and recall that Matt Damon is very funny with Ellen Barken, but other than that, it's somehow all new to me. I'm not really following it this time, either.

Let's face it -- this is the SI Swimsuit issue for women. I get all weak-kneed when Clooney is doing his too-cool-for school schtick. Because you know what? He really is too cool.