Sunday, September 13, 2020

Monday Madness



1. You are at a party in a very bad mood. There is an obnoxious guest with a camera snapping pictures of everyone in sight. Do you allow the photographs or ask them to stop? Since I'm not the hostess, I  wouldn't feel comfortable telling another guest what to do. I think I'd just try to avoid the snapper. Or, since I'm in a bad mood already, I might use this as an excuse to go home.

2. You are on your way to a formal affair and running late. You are the guest speaker at this event and everyone is waiting for you. A police officer pulls you over for speeding. Do you make up a story or tell him where you are going and try to talk your way out of the citation? Or do you make up a wild excuse? If so, tell us your tall tale! Well, I don't drive, so this isn't anything I have experience with. But I guess that, since I'm in a hurry, I'd just say, "Sorry, Officer," and take the ticket so I can be on my way.

3. When you drive down memory lane for the last two years of your life and look in the rear-view mirror, do you see a happy journey or a bumpy ride? Bumpy. Especially this year. I've posted this before because it sums up how I feel during the pandemic. Some days I'm fine. Other days, I'm not fine at all. I know I should feel lucky to be healthy and working, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to sometimes really battling the blues.


The complete irresponsibility of online conspiracy mongers especially depresses me. No, you stupid fucks, wearing a mask won't make you sick, but it does protect me. No, you paranoid nut jobs, Dr. Fauci doesn't profit when Remdesivir is prescribed. I could go on, but why? The people who cotton to and perpetuate these theories are obviously both reason- and conscience-free.

4.  Who makes you laugh when no one else can? My oldest friend. We met in Kindergarten, when her family moved in across the alley from mine. In those days, we made each other laugh until we peed a little. Guess what: 55 years later, we can still make each other laugh until we pee a little.

5. What are your superpowers? Grudge carrying and worrying unnecessarily.

6. What is the last thing you memorized? Yet another computer password. (Yeah, this is a vast improvement over, "What's the last song you heard?" 😜)

7. Tell us something you once took that you wish you could give back? I once spooned a ton of avocado onto my plate, but it was wasabi. You do not want to dip your chip in wasabi, but you cannot give it back.

8. The iPhone just gave birth to the next generation of phones. What would you name them? 

      The i_____? The iGotNothingforThisQuestion

9.  How much mystery should be in a relationship? Is it a good thing or not? To me, everything about enduring love relationships is a mystery. People speak freely about their break ups but really, I find happily married people more interesting.

10. What is your weekend blogging routine? I'm a loyal acolyte of Bud's: Saturday 9, Sunday Stealing and now Monday Madness.


Cinderella Boy Alec Mills!

"What an incredible Cinderella story. This unknown comes out of nowhere to lead the pack." Cub fan Bill Murray won't mind me invoking his immortal lines from Caddyshack to describe Alec Mills today.

The 28-year-old that nobody ever heard of just threw a no hitter. He was a walk on in college who barely made the team as a reliever. They didn't let him start until he was a junior. Then the Royals signed him, but he never made it out of the minors. He came to the Cubs, but if lefty Jose Quintana hadn't sliced his hand while doing dishes -- honest, I'm not making this up -- Alec Mills likely wouldn't be a starter for the Cubs this year. 

This is why I love baseball. You just never know.

One group hug, boys, then it's back to social distancing