Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Too Shy (1983)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song laments vulnerability and self-consciousness in a social settings. Are you often "too shy?" Or are social gatherings easy for you? Professionally, I'm fine. When I worked in advertising, I was good in front of a roomful of clients. At the card shop I'm fine talking to customers. I'm less comfortable socially.

 

2) In the lyrics, a girl self-censors, telling herself, "hush hush." Have you more recently shushed someone, or were you shushed? I was shushed.

 

3) Band member Nick Beggs recalls that they called themselves Kajagoogoo because it sounded like something that would make a baby laugh. It is fun to say. Can you think of another word that you just enjoy saying? "Gubernatorial." 

 

4) This was the only US hit for the British band, earning Kajagoogoo the title "One Hit Wonder." Can you think of another artist or band who had one really popular song and then just kind of disappeared? Who can forget funky Billy Chin and little Sammy John?
 

 
5) Though fame was fleeting here, Kajagoogoo remained popular in England. Lead singer Limahl recalls the adulation as "overwhelming," and he was shocked when he stepped on stage in Cornwall to see row after row of fans wearing their hair like he did. Have you ever handed a photo to a stylist and said, "Make my hair look like this?" Kinda sorta. I said I wanted my hair to look like Olivia Benson's on SVU and he knew what I meant. That was more than a decade ago. Liv has changed her hair many times but this is still my cut. I've changed up the color since then, but I'm staying with this style.

 

6) In 1983, when this song was popular, the Lotus 1-2-3 program made it easier for PC users to make spreadsheets. Are you answering these questions on a Mac or PC? Laptop, phone or tablet? MacBook Air.

7) 1983 saw Abbey Road Studios open their doors for the first time for public tours. During the first two months, 22,000 tickets were sold to fans who wanted to see where the Beatles made their magic. What's the last ticket you purchased? Probably my airline tickets for my flights to/from Los Angeles last month.

 
8) Also in 1983, McDonald's introduced Chicken McNuggets. When was chicken most recently on the menu at your home? How was it prepared? Last week I took a tray of prepared pulled barbecue chicken out of my refrigerator and popped it in the microwave.

 

9) Random question: Have you ever forgotten where you left your car in a parking lot? I don't drive, so I've never been the one who has done the forgetting. But I have wandered around parking lot with friends who have misplaced their cars. Seems to happen a lot.

 

 

Not a good week for The Class of 75

My oldest friend is in the hospital (see post below), and our classmate Judy died. Judy reached out to me via Facebook Messenger about six months ago, but I pretended I didn't see it. She hurt me so badly, there was always so much drama in her wake, I didn't see the point. I don't regret the decision, but I do honor and mourn the nerdy teenage girls we were, and I'm sorry her last decade was so painful.

I keep getting messages asking if I'm going to attend our 50th high school reunion. I don't answer them. I showed up at high school as little as possible when The State of Illinois mandated my attendance. I'm certainly not going back by choice now. 

But it is on my mind. Here I am, reasonably healthy. Oh, I'm fat and my knees bother me. If I don't get back on the water-drinking bandwagon, I'll develop kidney stones again. But, for the most part, I'm OK. Certainly I have not suffered as Judy and my oldest friend have.

I'm not a wealthy woman, but I'm OK. My cat Connie needs expensive dental work – more expensive than I had anticipated – but I can pay for it. I'll be able to afford trips up to Michigan to meet my niece's baby this fall and then spend Christmas with them. (And I've been picking up presents for them.) I plan on attending the TCM Classic Film Festival in Hollywood next year. When I want to go out to lunch or dinner with my friends, I have cash to cover it. My oldest friend is broke and couldn't afford to go anywhere, even if she was physically able.

My 2BR condo is a hovel. Really, I can't get over the disrepair I've allowed it to fall into. On the other hand, I'm paying down a 3.35% APR mortgage and my monthly housing cost (mortgage and assessment) is only $1100/month. I couldn't rent a 2BR in this neighborhood for $1100/month. That would get me a studio. Judy and her husband lived in a 1st floor studio. (Though she was in assisted living when she died.) My oldest friend rents a room in a ranch house – she shares her bathroom and kitchen with three other people. 

My friend John died a year ago last month. My friend Henry died a year ago next month. They both suffered a great deal physically and financially at the end of their lives, too. They weren't part of The Class of 75 – John graduated in 1972 and Henry in 1980 – but close enough.

Right now I am sad. I am confused. I am grateful. To borrow from Anthony Rizzo in Game 7 (who borrowed it from Will Ferrell in Anchorman): I'm in a glass cage of emotions.

Another trip to the hospital

My oldest friend is back in the hospital. Fourth time in three months. One was a trip to the ER and then home, another was an emergency visit to a walk-in crisis center, then there was a four-day stay to get her anxiety/depression meds evened out, and now she's in the hospital because her blood pressure/heart rate were very low and her A1C was sky high. 

Part of the problem is that she's on Medicare/Medicaid and is at the mercy of the healthcare system. Part of it is that she doesn't do the recommended aftercare. It overwhelms her. She becomes too exhausted to make and organize the appointments required to manage her bipolar disorder/diabetes/urinary tract infection/heart disease. 

I had hopes that with this hospitalization, we had turned a corner. She was more communicative, starting a text chain to let us know how she's doing. The photos she attached were disturbing – she looked so old, so grizzled, with an oxygen tube. But she seemed comfortable and upbeat. As though she's finally getting answers to what has made 2025 such a challenging year for her medically. I was happy to learn that she consulted with the hospital chaplain. I believe the most important and intimate relationship any of us will ever have is with God, and I remain convinced if my friend leaned into her spirituality more than her search for knight to rescue her, she'd be happier and more content. 

Today, though, the text chain was full of red flags. She's about to be discharged, which makes her happy. But she doesn't like Dr. Gwen, the hospitalist assigned to her case. She insists Dr. Gwen interned under Joseph Mengele. I'm afraid I know where this is going to lead: she's not going to pursue the prescribed aftercare because she doesn't like Dr. Gwen. She's going to say that Dr. Gwen makes her feel bad about herself and her situation and she just doesn't need this. That's why she stopped seeing her urologist – his staff was rude and frustrating. As I pointed out to her, that decision didn't bother her urologist one whit but it did contribute to her UTI spiraling out of control. She didn't respond to this observation.

I can't help my oldest friend. She's on the path she is on. I will however, answer every text she sends, pray and worry about her, share whatever wisdom I have with her.

But I can be there for her daughter. I have known Jenna since before she was born. I know how hard it is to be the daughter of a mom who is failing. These hospitalizations have contributed to a flare up in Jen's colitis, and she's going to be in a different hospital herself on Monday, getting a colonoscopy. 

So I send her regular texts, letting her know I am thinking about her and I attach silly, cuddly animal pictures. I mailed her an "atta girl" postcard. I took her to dinner when I was in LA for the TCM Film Festival. I can't save my friend, but maybe I can be a support system for her daughter.