Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Compassion Challenge -- Day 10

I'm encouraged to participate in this November challenge with my church congregation.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet.

Today I felt overwhelmed by everything (see post below, add to it a pair of client meetings which amped up the pressure on me). I closed my eyes "for a minute" after dinner and found I just couldn't stay awake. So I put on my pajamas and went to bed.

As I write this, it's 10:30. I'm going to organize my thoughts and notes for tomorrow and then I'm going back to sleep. Without (much) guilt. I'm clearly feeling worn down, and perhaps the rest is called for. It may even leave me sharper tomorrow.

This is Self-Compassion.


Things were going OK. And then suddenly they weren't. And now I'm scared.

1) I'm supposed to have two 6-page brochures and a powerpoint presentation written (and designed) for my client by next Tuesday. I don't have enough guidance or information to do this. The date is not moving.

2) Connie has to have a tooth pulled and it's scheduled for Friday. I'm taking the day as vacation but I know I'll have to work through it (see #1). Anesthesia is dangerous for cats. Not as dangerous as the risk of infection from the tooth, but still. She had bloodwork in late September and the results clear her for surgery, but I worry. She's 9 years old, the equivalent of about 50 in human years. 

3) There may be big problems with the building I live in. Elevator, roof, structural stuff. Expensive stuff. Potentially dangerous stuff? I don't know. I'm not an engineer. But I don't want to wake up in rubble like those Miami condo owners did. Am I letting my imagination run away with me? Perhaps. But this is not my area of expertise and I have to depend on others.

You know, Tuesday morning I was fine, wandering through The Loop, looking at the Christmas decorations slowly going up. Happy to be returning to normal.

Now I'm just scared.