November Challenge -- Day 30

 November Challenge: One thing you're excited for

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The TCM Classic Film Festival this April. I've got my hotel room booked and the passes go on sale December 10. While it hasn't been announced yet, I suspect that they will show The Wizard of Oz on the big screen, a movie I haven't seen in a theater in decades. But whatever slate of classic films await me, I know I will discover new-to-me gems among the old favorites.

In addition to the movies, I'll get to reunite with classic film nerds I've met and kept up with via Facebook. I know it's fashionable to slag social media. I agree that since Elon Musk took over, Twitter has become a hellscape of hate and misinformation. But Facebook and -- to a far lesser extent for me -- Instagram have enabled me to keep up with people across the months and the miles so that when we meet again, it's like no time has elapsed at all.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

November Challenge -- Day 29

November Challenge: Five weird things you like

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1. Falling down rabbit holes. I look up a thing and then it takes me to another thing and before I know it, an hour is gone. For example, I recently stumbled upon a documentary about Lee Harvey Oswald's wedding ring. He took it off on the morning of 11/22/63 and left it, along with all his cash, in a teacup on the nightstand beside his sleeping wife and then went off to kill the President. The Secret Service took custody of it along with Oswald's other personal possessions. It languished in the home of a Fort Worth lawyer until upon his death it was returned to Oswald's widow. After all, it had no direct connection to the assassination. In 2013 she sold it at auction for $108,000, and now it's in the Dallas Sixth Floor Museum. PS Did you know Jackie's iconic pillbox hat from that day is still missing? It's true. Everything else she wore that day, right down to her blood-stained nylons, is locked away at the National Archives. But no one has seen the hat since Jackie removed it at Parkland Hospital. I have my suspicions ... (<<< I am such a nerd.)

2. Chocolate milk. I drink it every day. Yes, I really am 67. Don't judge me.

3. Breaking down boxes. It's my favorite part of my job at the card shop, yet nobody else wants to do it. When shipment comes in, and all the new merchandise is unpacked, there's always boxes to ready for the recycling bin.

4. Putting laundry away. It means I'm done with the chore and I feel accomplished.

5.  Eating my portions one at a time. Example: I finish all of my vegetables before I touch the main course. I don't see why this is weird, but people have commented on it, so it must be. (My icky grandmother used to spurt in frustration at family dinners.)

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

November Challenge: Day 28

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November Challenge: Somewhere you would like to move or visit

Move? No freaking way! First of all, this is where I belong. Yes, it gets cold in December, January (and sometimes February), but I appreciate all four seasons. Plus, I dislike heat way more than cold.

Second, there are advantages of living here. I learned this when my oldest friend decamped to SoCal and Reg and Henry moved to Key West. 

Public transportation. Reg and Henry seldom drove when they lived here but when they got to Key West they had to invest in a second car. My oldest friend found driving in SoCal traffic incredibly stressful. I don't even have a car.

The economy. Reg and Henry were, at one point, working five jobs between them to maintain a middle-class lifestyle. My oldest friend had a much tougher time finding/keeping jobs than she ever had here.

Climate. No, I don't mean weather. I mean politics. While Key West is very welcoming, the State of Florida, as a whole, is not. The Governor actually proclaimed that "Florida is where woke goes to die!" That's some ugly shit, as though diversity, equality and inclusion are somehow bad. Imagine being a tax payer in a state where your elected official dismiss you, as Henry and Reg (as a biracial gay couple) were dismissed by Desantis. I love it that, for all Illinois' faults, my state's vision matches my own.

Stuff to do. There's always a movie or restaurant or program at the library that I can walk to. There's live theater and, of course, the Cubs just a short train ride away. If you're bored here, it's because you're boring.

Ah, but where would I like to visit? I'd like to go back. There are so many places I've been before that I'd love to return to, like the spas in Colonial Williamsburg and Hot Springs, Arkansas. And Graceland! Graceland was great fun. Hawaii was other wordly, I'd like to see that again, too.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

  

November Challenge: Day 27

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November Challenge: A quote you try to live by

 

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November Challenge: Day 26

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November Challenge: Things you like/dislike about yourself

Here are my likes:

1) I am a good writer

2) The gift of empathy

3) My dimples

4) Every day I try to be a good person

Now for the icks:

1) Laziness

2) Pettiness

3) I'm not good with the manual dexterity thing (I'm insanely proud of myself when I replace a screw)

4) Set in my ways

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

November Challenge: Day 25

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November Challenge: Something you're currently worrying about

This year, at the age of 67, for the very first time, I am working retail on Black Friday.

My former boss Ceecee and current coworker Rose tell me it's nothing to worry about because we have no special Black Friday sales.

My regular shift manager Jen tells me it's important and stressful because shoppers who come in on Black Friday are very serious about their holiday decor, cards and wrapping, so I'd better be ready.

 Our new, part-time store manager Katie gave me the shift as a favor -- she is trying to give me as many hours as she can now because come January I'll be down to one day/week. But despite her good intentions, I'm annoyed. I took this job because I expected no stress!

I will be happy when it's November 30 and I'm looking back on this.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

 

 

November Challenge -- Day 24

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November Challenge: Five words/phrases that make you laugh

I'm putting a different spin on this. Here are five words I just enjoy saying.

1.  Deuteronomy

2. Gubernatorial

3. Nincompoop

4. Bumbershoot

5.  Boondoggle

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

 

November Challenge: Day 23

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November Challenge: Something you miss

Henry and John. John and Henry. My first birthday/Thanksgiving/Christmas without them.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

 

 

 

November Challenge: Day 22

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November Challenge: Your academics

This one is easy: I'm a community college drop out.

 

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November Challenge: Day 21

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November Challenge: How you hope your future will be

Now that I'm retired, I hope for more of the same for as long as possible. 

•  I'm OK financially -- at least for now; Trump's tariffs scare the living shit out of me. 

•  While I'm achy and creaky, I'm healthy enough. 

•  In addition to loving my niece and nephew, I like the adults they have become. 

•  I have a handful of good girlfriends and my movie group. 

•  My cats are healthy and I can afford to provide them with the care they deserve. 

•  I'm lucky enough to have my passions: movies, books, the Beatles and baseball. I know people who are rarely enthusiastic and I'm grateful to really love what I love. This has been my salvation when I've been really blue.

•  My little job at the card shop gives my weeks structure and keeps me learning new things. 

•  I just embarked on another dental adventure. By this time next year, I'd like my overall dental health to be good enough that I can put that money and attention into my home. Fingers crossed.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

November Challenge: Day 20

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November Challenge: Your fears

I have two big ones, and they have just gotten worse with time:

1. Being in a plane crash. Not dying. Dying doesn't bother me. It's those moments before impact that terrifies me. The g-force, hearing the terror of the other passengers ... shudder!

2. Lack of independence. I don't want to have to depend on anyone to take care of me. 

Gee, this has been cheery, hasn't it?

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

November Challenge -- Day 19

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November Challenge: Five items you lust after

1. A quality, quiet cordless stick vac

2. A new official Cubs jacket

3. Durable yet cute waterproof outdoor ankle booties that are easy to slip on/off

4. An iron bed frame with head and foot boards

5. A lightweight portable DVD player with good sound

None of these items is that expensive, but I'm trying to be more sensible with my spending as I await the estimates for all village-mandated repairs for this building. If an awesome deal for any of these show up on Black Friday I may act. 

Except for the bed. The bed is complicated because I have to get rid of the existing bed frame. I'd like to have the junk guy come and take it and my bedroom TV away first. Then the new bed will have to be delivered and assembled and the cable guy will come over to set up my new living room TV and reprogram the remote for the old living room TV which will now be in the bedroom and oh, hell! I'll just keep this crappy bed frame and TV.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

 

November Challenge -- Day 18

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November Challenge: A problem you have had

Control, responsibility and perspective! People in my life can hurt and confound me, and I have a hard time handling it.

I began therapy in 2019 because I needed help with Henry. His accident and the subsequent TBI caused him to say terrible things to me sometimes, and I cannot emphasize this enough -- that was NOT my darling Henry. Then it morphed into dealing with Henry's husband Reg, and why Reg was refusing to get Henry the help that was available, the help he needed. The former was actually easier to cope with than the latter. Henry did what he did because he couldn't help it. Reg, on the other hand ... My despair over Henry, the helplessness I felt about the situation, my anger at Reg were all mighty and I needed help handling them.

Now Henry is gone and most of my sessions revolve around my oldest friend. Her move to California more than a decade ago has been a disaster. She was evicted and will be homeless in two weeks. Her adult children are no help. There's been some breach with the cousin she moved out there to be near. Her health is precarious. A man she once dated -- they met through a dating service approximately two years ago, slept together exactly once, and he told her quite frankly they could be friends but nothing more -- has offered her a room in his home. Her own entrance, shared bathroom and kitchen privileges. Considering that she has three cats and her FICO score is in the toilet, I think he is a godsend. 

No, she responded angrily, he is a narcissistic, cheating bastard and she needs me to support her on this. She has shared texts she has sent him, berating him for not taking her more seriously now that he was a new girlfriend. (She will be 68 next month and he's over 70; I can't believe how Archie-and-Veronica this all sounds.) She is going to do everything she can to ruin this living arrangement before it starts on December 1. She literally has nowhere else to go!

She also wants to come "home" to Chicagoland. I texted her back that I will help her, but she can't live with me. My condo has two bedrooms and a tiny bathroom. I don't have room for her, plus we'd have five cats between us. PLUS she has no car and I don't drive. How would she get even here? I pointed out that I wasn't sure her California benefits would be easily transferable to Illinois but I would do any legwork for her, researching what I can.

I won't go into all the ways she has let me down since moved to California. But here are the high, hard ones: She was going to come in to help me recover from my surgery, but cancelled at the last minute; she's owed me money for seven years from our last trip to Las Vegas; when my dear friend John was dying last spring, all she wanted to talk about was this man she once dated and his "mistreatment" of her ... Really, the list is endless. But I try to hang on.

Because of her diagnosed bipolar condition, she is unable to be there for me. I get it. But I wrestle with how much I am expected to be there for her. How much I can be there for her. How little I get in return. I hate how angry I am at her.

Some of it is very deja Henry and Reg. So I guess this is my struggle:

Where are the boundaries? What are the limits? When does being a good friend and a good Christian slide into masochism?

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

November Challenge -- Day 17

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November Challenge: Something you're proud of

When I adopted these cats, they each had special problems. Connie (left) began life with a hoarder and had years of a bad diet. She arrived at the shelter pregnant with a dead litter, emaciated, and suffering from an upper respiratory infection, runny eyes and bloody gums. By the time I adopted her, she was stronger but her eyes were still very light sensitive and her gums were still a mushy mess. 

Roy Hobbs (right) suffered abuse in his last home. The other cat in that household died. He was skittish and frightened when I adopted him.

Today they're both fine. Connie still has ongoing dental problems, but look at those wide-open, bright eyes! Roy Hobbs fears certain men on sight. But on the whole, they're relaxed, content and enjoying their lives. I made that happen. I'm proud of it.

 

 Leaf Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

November Challenge -- Day 16

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November Challenge: Something you always think "what if ..." about

After high school, I had two very positive interviews. The first was set up by my guidance counselor at the suburban Loyola medical campus not that far from my parents' home, where I was still living. I'd have to drive, but I had a car then (an old beater given me by my family). I'd be working as a receptionist for a dentist.

The second was with Sears, Roebuck and Co. in Sears Tower. I'd take the train every day and work in The Loop. I'd be a secretary to one of the men who placed local newspaper advertising for neighborhood Sears stores all over the country.

I took the second job. I hated it. No, really, I hated it. There were days when the train pulled into Union Station and I was literally the last one to get off. I fantasized about just riding back and forth all day, rather than get off and go to that job.

However I loved the city. Madly. I felt a sense of belonging there among that diverse, bustling populace I never had in the white-bread town I grew up in. 

Eventually I was offered the copywriter test and became a writer for the Sears Catalog. That was the beginning of my advertising career -- which, let's face, I was totally unqualified for -- and I am grateful.

But I never go past the Loyola medical campus without wondering what happened to her, the me I would have been if I'd taken that job in the dentist's office. Would I have stayed suburban? Remained on the clerical path? Gotten married, quit and had the more conventional life my mom envisioned for me? I hope I wouldn't end up as unhappily married as my parents were.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

November Challenge: Day 15

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November Challenge: Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality

I admit I don't read my horoscope anymore, haven't since Covid when I stopped commuting everyday and read a printed newspaper on the train. But for this prompt I looked up Georgia Nicols, the astrologer I used to read. Her daughter Kelly Benson wrote the outlook for Sag in November:

I should:

•  Embrace opportunities for solitude as I consider what to "release" before the beginning of my personal new year (my birthday)

•  Not feel the need to be "on" all the time

•  Review my financial affairs (I have been wondering what to do with my retirement savings with Trump's fakakta tariffs on the horizon)

•  Reassess my habits (stretch more often, Gal!) and declutter my space

It all does sound relevant, so it fits my life if not my personality.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

November Challenge -- Day 14

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November Challenge: What you wore today

I checked the work schedule and saw that today at the card shop I would be working with Rose, not Jen. Rose is very young and her style is rather funky and Bohemian. Therefore I felt under no obligation to dress like a nice grown up. So I wore my faded jeans and a crew neck baseball sweater. No team in particular, just a lilac and cream sweater. It's very comfortable and I was happy to see it for the first time this fall. Oh yeah, white Nikes.

I've noticed that Jen and Lainie dress up for work. Rose and Kamilah dress to express themselves. Our new, temp manager, Katie, is very casual, as was Ceecee. I adapt my ensemble to mimic theirs, as best I can. I'll never be the fashion plate Lainie is, or dress with Jen's expensive eye to accessories, but I do put more thought into it when I'm on the floor with them.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

November Challenge -- Day 13

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November Challenge: Your opinion of your body and how comfortable you are with it

The way I look at my body, and why, has changed radically over the years.

When I was in my 20s, I worked out obsessively. At least 4-5 times a week. I weighed myself twice every morning, before and after my shower. I had great legs but no matter how hard I worked at it, I could not get down to a size 4. I was stuck at size 6. Much of the reason for that is (to borrow from A Chorus Line) "tits and ass." I'm just round in the balcony and orchestra pit. Which is fine, except it was very important for me to be equally attractive naked as trendily dressed. It was hard. It was a job in and of itself. 

You see, I not only had to be hot for my boyfriend in the bedroom, he had to be proud of me in public. No, it was not a healthy relationship.

In my 30s and 40s, it was refreshing to find my next lovers were happy with me as a size 8 or 10. 

Menopause hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like I went in for a hysterectomy in 2011 and came out fat. I now wear a size 16-18. I don't really care.

Today is mammogram day. I am more worried about cancer than I am being attractive. In fact, now, when I worry about cancer, it is not the scars that upset me, it's losing my autonomy.

That's how I feel about my body today. Is it strong enough for me to stay independent?

Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash 

 

November Challenge -- Day 12

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November Challenge: Five men whom you find attractive

I hate lists like this because I will invariably leave someone off and hurt that hot man's feelings. But seriously, folks ...

I have had this conversation with both my oldest friend and my late friend John. Unlike me, they both found themselves attracted to much younger men. I watch as much or more sports than they do but it's very seldom that a young-un hits me that way. Right now, the only one who inspires that old familiar thrum is Giancarlo Stanton of the Yankees. He's 35, which is old for a ballplayer but way, way too young for me to include on this list. However, in the spirit of full disclosure, and because I want to beautify the blogosphere, here he is.

Now, onto the real list.

Josh Duhamel may not be the greatest actor, but his smile makes me smile.

               Former Cubs manager Joe Maddon is a free thinker and always his own man. Love him.

BROOOOOOOOCE!

Sir Paul

 

I've been bingeing on Moonlighting and realize anew that David Addison is my dream man.

 

Leaf photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

November Challenge -- Day 11

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November Challenge: Your family

In 2010, my oldest friend and her daughter moved to California to be with her blood relatives -- her cousin Sharon, Sharon's two sons, and their kids. The move has been a disaster. Her physical health has deteriorated, her emotions ping pong, she's lost every job she had out there and is now retired with no money. Zip zilch. She's been served with an eviction notice and has to be out of her rental on December 1.

Who is she moving in with? Her daughter is now 27 and living with her boyfriend, but "can't" take Mom in. Her cousin Sharon, now a widow, wants to see what it's like to live alone. Sharon's sons won't even help my friend with the move, so you know they're not letting her stay with them. My friend's son, now 37 and living with his wife in Philadelphia, echoes his sister and says he "can't" help his mother. So on December 1 she begins renting a room with the only friend she's made out there. The only nearby friend she has after 14 years. And their relationship is tumultuous, since she fancies herself in love with him and stirs up unnecessary drama because the feelings aren't reciprocated. This living arrangement is not tenable long term and I worry about her constantly.

Why am I writing all this here in response to this question?

Because you can't always count on family. 

If I found my independence slipping away -- and who knows? I might -- I don't think I would hit bottom as my friend has. I mean, I own this condo and could always sell it I had to. But I know I could count on my niece to kick in at least some cash and my nephew -- who still lives in his old bedroom at his parents' house -- would be there for the move. But mostly I would look to my friends.

Before I found myself on the verge of homelessness, I'd consult with Kathleen, Nancy, Joanna* and Elaine. I'd call on my former art director, too. While I miss the love and support of my late friends John and Henry more than I can say, I do still have good girlfriends to lean on. Btw, I met Joanna and Elaine in 2013 and reconnected with Nancy in 2016. All people who became fixtures in my life after my oldest friends moved. I realize how lucky I am. I really don't have a hard time making friends. Which is the point of this post ...

My friends are my family.

 

 

*Who is struggling herself right now.

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.