I keep my money in different "funds," all within my savings account. Every month I earmark money for the dentist, for insurance, for vet bills, etc. Then I don't touch it until it's needed for that purpose. Since I am the keeper of both the funds and the calculator, I can move the money back and forth if I need to. (That's how my kitchen remodeling fund became my Paul McCartney concert ticket.)
When my friend Henry had his accident back in 2018, I began a "fund" for him. $15/week went into it. I knew how he and his husband Reg struggled financially in the best of times, and Henry's medical bills were an additional, almost unbearable burden. I used the money from this fund to help Henry with "extras," especially at Christmastime. I sent postage stamps, so Henry could afford to send the holiday cards he lovingly created. When I visited them for the holidays, I took Henry shopping so he could have something for Reg under the tree. Their dogs received a Chewy delivery or two. Lots of little things, paid for out of this "fund" so my own budget felt no strain.
Henry's been gone a year, but I've kept the fund up, just changing the heading in my spiral notebook from "Henry" to "Friends." It's up to $880.
No, make that $780.
When she paid for my birthday lunch on 11/22, she jokingly expressed relief that there was still credit available on her Visa card. I was surprised – she chose the restaurant (the iconic Walnut Room) and as soon as we sat down she asked what alcoholic beverages we were going to toast with. She told the waiter that "of course" we were having Frango Mint cheesecake for dessert. We could have done the Walnut Room for less, or we could have dined at a more affordable restaurant. But this is what Joanna chose ... for me. Because she knows how hard my birthday is without my friends Henry and John. She wanted to make my birthday perfect and it was.
Joanna is 70. Her business is struggling and she has no retirement savings. She is very matter-of-fact about her "life on the edge." Of course, Joanna is matter-of-fact about big things. The woman is conversational about losing everything in Katrina! Two divorces. The slow, painful cancer death of her older brother. Her lover's dementia. Things that would have knocked other women on their asses, Joanna absorbs and then gets on with life. As was said of that other formidable daughter of the South, Scarlett O'Hara, Joanna "takes her fences cleanly, like a good hunter." She doesn't falter or show fear, she just goes ahead with no fanfare.
I admire her. I appreciate her.
So I sent her $100. It will be enough to give her a little wiggle room, but not enough to cause her embarrassment. After all, we don't exchange Christmas gifts and she hasn't asked for my help, making her dignity is a consideration.
Perhaps she will use it as Henry would – to buy a gift she couldn't otherwise afford. Or maybe she'll spend it as I would – to pick up stuff for my pantry.
It won't have any long-term impact on Joanna's finances, but it will make next week easier.
I happen to be reading Bruce Springsteen's memoir as I post this and think of him exhorting "Rosalita" – Use it, Rosie! That's what it's there for!
I heard you, Boss. I used the "Friends" money. That's what it's there for.
PS Henry would approve. He was the most loving person I ever met. I like that I was able to spend what was originally "his" money this way.
