Friday, February 15, 2013


My older sister actually cooperated and signed the agreement required by the bank re: our mother's reverse mortgage. There was no drama. She didn't produce any small, fiery hoops for me to jump through. She just signed the document and returned it.


I didn't see this coming

Last night, when I showed up for my monthly appointment with my shrink, I got quite a shock.

After decades, she's leaving!

Her husband died in September 2011, and since then there hasn't been much holding her in Chicagoland. She put her house up for sale before Christmas and was surprised when it sold as quickly as it has. Next month she is moving to Boston to be near her sister, her daughter and her grandchildren.

She has seen me through a lot: the breakup with my hideous, abusive boyfriend, as well as the heartbreaking breakup with the good man who was my true love. Together we went through my dad's death, as well as my mom's. She helped me decide to walk away from my career as creative director and re-enter the workforce after a year and a half of freelancing. The scary mood swings of menopause. I couldn't have done all of this without her.

But you know what? I don't need her anymore. I had been thinking that over the last several weeks. I've handled the stressful business of my mother's final affairs without requiring much support from her, and I have done it well.

And she agrees. It's time. I'm going to see her one more time, in early March. During that final office session, we're going to talk about how we'll proceed. We may schedule some phone consultations in advance, maybe I'll be comfortable leaving there with her cellphone number in my purse, just in case I need her. She will always be my objective sounding board … if I need her.

It was wonderful to discuss all this with her last night. To learn that we're on the same page, that we both think I'm ready to take off and face life without her. On the way out, we hugged and she stroked my hair -- something she's never done before. Of all her patients, I've been with her the longest. Like my blog readers, she knows me without artifice. It was nice to know that she knows me, sees me as I am, and still cares about me as a person.

Hopefully she and I will both live happily ever after.