Friday, February 15, 2013

I didn't see this coming

Last night, when I showed up for my monthly appointment with my shrink, I got quite a shock.

After decades, she's leaving!

Her husband died in September 2011, and since then there hasn't been much holding her in Chicagoland. She put her house up for sale before Christmas and was surprised when it sold as quickly as it has. Next month she is moving to Boston to be near her sister, her daughter and her grandchildren.

She has seen me through a lot: the breakup with my hideous, abusive boyfriend, as well as the heartbreaking breakup with the good man who was my true love. Together we went through my dad's death, as well as my mom's. She helped me decide to walk away from my career as creative director and re-enter the workforce after a year and a half of freelancing. The scary mood swings of menopause. I couldn't have done all of this without her.

But you know what? I don't need her anymore. I had been thinking that over the last several weeks. I've handled the stressful business of my mother's final affairs without requiring much support from her, and I have done it well.

And she agrees. It's time. I'm going to see her one more time, in early March. During that final office session, we're going to talk about how we'll proceed. We may schedule some phone consultations in advance, maybe I'll be comfortable leaving there with her cellphone number in my purse, just in case I need her. She will always be my objective sounding board … if I need her.

It was wonderful to discuss all this with her last night. To learn that we're on the same page, that we both think I'm ready to take off and face life without her. On the way out, we hugged and she stroked my hair -- something she's never done before. Of all her patients, I've been with her the longest. Like my blog readers, she knows me without artifice. It was nice to know that she knows me, sees me as I am, and still cares about me as a person.

Hopefully she and I will both live happily ever after.


  1. i think you make very wise decisions. sound off here, i always tell you the truth...not that i my word means much ha ha.

  2. It sounds like big, important growing changes in both your lives. It's great that you're ready to "graduate," and your therapist is going to be nearer her family. And you've got a stepping stone in her cell phone number, so you don't have to make the big jump all at once.

  3. What a scary, wonderful time. For both of you. I fully believe you will live happily ever after.


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