Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Uh-oh! You know what this means

Yes, I'm taking my mail at The Stoney End.

This is the 16th time I've mentioned this song on my humble blog. Recorded definitively by Barbra Streisand, it includes the Laura Nyro lyric that encapsulates exactly how I feel when it seems life is getting away from me: "Never mind the forecast for the sky has lost control/and the fury and the broken thunder's come to match my raging soul."

I don't feel like detailing everything that's weighing on me right now. It does no good. If you're interested in the litany, this post is a good place to start. Right now it feels like everyone around me is hurting, like everything is spiraling downward, and I am helpless to stop any of it. So I decided to concentrate on what I can change. First on the list is my hideous bathroom.

It's half done. It's been half done for more than a year. New toilet, new sink, new medicine chest. Old bathroom tiles, old shower rod, old towel racks. I hate it. It's a depressing way to start the day. I was going to use my tax refund to finally, FINALLY finish it.

New tiles, new fixtures will come to $5,000. I got an estimate! I was excited, fantasizing about a new fresh, clean way to start the day.

Then the boom dropped. This building needs two new washers and dryers and a new elevator. There's a BIG special assessment coming.

There goes my new bathroom.

I know, I know. Compared to things like losing one's home or losing one's breasts, my problems are not as big those swirling around me.

I should value how much better my gut is doing. Finally. After all these months I think I'm getting better. I should concentrate on that more.

But I admit, I'm tired. This is just another thing. Just another rotten, unfair thing. The hits just keep on coming.