Wednesday, September 07, 2011

I'm sooooo tiredll

All I have done today is sleep. It's wearying, having a cold and waiting for surgery. I'm glad the wait is almost over.

At least I hope it is. I'm still coughing. It's possible that under these circumstances the anesthesiologist will feel squeamish about putting me under. The physician's assistant I spoke to feels it's unlikely, since my chest x-ray was clear and my bloodwork shows no infection, but it's ultimately up to the anesthesiologist. I'll find out tomorrow.

It's maddening! But no more maddening than the snafu I encountered this morning. The hospital where I'll be having the surgery called and said they never received my bloodwork. Neither did my oncologist's office! I visited the lab back on August 27. (I know because I blogged about it! Today was a great moment in my personal blog history, because I actually pulled up that post when I called the lab to confirm which day I appeared in their waiting area.)

That was finally straightened off after much time on hold, listening to tinny piano instrumental muzak. Then I found out that the insurance company never submitted the necessary short-term disability paperwork to my doctor. I'll call them tomorrow. I just couldn't cope with being on hold another moment today.

Tom the account guy gave me a card. Dave the art director brought me more movies to watch during my convalescence. I got lots of hugs. Lana took one last opportunity to tell me about her doomed romance, and it was nice to be reassured she's fond of me and to be distracted from my upcoming "gutting." I attended a status meeting and kicked off a project that will be presented before I return. That was weird.

My boss was weird, too. I asked him if he was sure he'd still need me in six weeks and instead of, "of course," he said, "we'll see." Then, after he saw my face he added, "Don't worry, we'll save some work for you." Bastard.

I gabbed to my oldest friend for a while. She was great, as only she can be. I must remember this. She walked me through the hospital process and made me laugh along the way. She can always make me laugh and she knows how to chill me out. And I know she loves me. Important to remember!

Kathleen gave me a ride home and reassured me about cancer. She, after all, would know that even if I have it, it doesn't have to be dire. Then I got home and slept on the couch.

It's been stressful.

Lucy! You got some 'splainin' to do!

My "I Love Lucy" alarm clock has suddenly become unreliable! I won't find out my surgery time until tomorrow, but what if it's like 6:00 AM or something? I must have a dependable alarm clock. Lucy, Ethel, I'm sorry. I love you girls but I have to call in back up.

It seems everything around me is breaking or falling apart!


One of my usually annoying coworkers asked me to lunch today to one of my favorite restaurants, Ada's. One of the reasons I love Ada's is the chicken soup comes in these huuuuuuge bowls and I still have a cough. She told me about her long holiday weekend, including the man who kissed her Saturday night on the train, and she listened to me cough and fret about surgery. On the way back to the office, I acknowledged that it must not exactly be a party to be near me these days. She rubbed my shoulder and said no, I'm still fun to be around and it's OK. She was being so nice! I realize I'm a hideous drag. But I did sense it made her happy to be helpful.

I was touched, so I asked her if she wouldn't mind helping me out during my convalescence. I'm not supposed to do stairs at all, and there's no way to commute to the our office without them. The trains and our building are both stairs, stairs, stairs. I asked her if, towards the end of my recovery, she would take a day off to come out to my place, pick me up, and make the trip to work with me. A test run. She said she'd mark it on her calendar.

Sometimes people surprise you. I should be nicer.