Saturday, January 30, 2021

Sunday Stealing


1.   What is your favorite animal and why? As a species, cats. Though there have been dogs who held a place in my heart, too.

2.   Are people animals? What separates humans from animals? We're just mammals with big brains and opposing thumbs. I remember that from school.

3.   Which animal is the most dangerous? We are.

No other animal would do this, or respond to it with "We love you. You're special."

4.   What should you do if a bear approaches you? Speak in a calm voice and wave your arms slowly up and down. Apparently this will reassure the bear that you're a human and not another bear. I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. I have always been very sure I'll never be approached by a bear.

5.   Do you like dogs? Why do people call the dog, man’s best friend? Of course I like dogs. Everyone likes dogs! I think they are a favorite companion because they are so sweet and obedient. (If you require subservience in a furry roommate, do not share your home with a cat.)

6.   Do you enjoy going to the zoo? Some people consider zoos to be cruel environments for animals. What do you think? I love visiting the zoo. A responsible zoological society educates us about animals and gives endangered species a safe place to breed. Rodeos and circuses are inhumane. Zoos are great.

7.   Where is the best place to see animals in your country? In the world? What animal are you looking for?

8.   Are you a vegetarian? What makes some people give up eating meat? I'm not a vegetarian. Why have "people" given up meat? I imagine there are many reasons, some tied to animal rights and their humane treatment, some tied to health.

9.   Which animal is most helpful to humans? Probably dogs. Though for centuries, I think horses could have claimed that title.

10  If you could be any animal (besides human), which animal would you like to be? I'd like to be a cat in a household like mine. First of all, I give them the best life I can. Secondly, I admire a cat's nature. They are secure. Cats do what they want to do, secure that it is the wise choice because they are cats. In many ways, I wish I was more like my cats.

11.  Who would win in a fight between a tiger and a lion? They don't live together in the wild. If a lion and a tiger got into a fight, somehow a human would be involved, and that would affect the outcome.

12.  What do you think about hunting animals? Would you like to try it? I don't think I could ever enjoy hunting or fishing.

13.   Books like “Watership Down” and “Animal Farm” give animals human characteristics like human thoughts or language. Is this how you think animals really are? Or are those really just stories about people? Those are really just stories about people.

14.  Some animals are endangered due to illegal poaching. How do you feel about this issue? I think illegal poachers are selfish assholes.

15.  If we can bring an extinct animal from the past back with genetic engineering, should we do it? Which animals should we bring back? To paraphrase Dr. Malcolm, before we find out if we can, we should stop to think if we should.


As the fellow once said, "Ain't that a kick in the head?"

Since November, I've been doing blog posts for my agency's new(er) client. A national chain of auto shops, they hired us to, among other things, spiff up their website. Or, as we pretentiously like to say, "create more robust content." It's not a day-in/day-out thing, but it looks like it will land on my plate monthly.

I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it.  I have no affinity for anything auto. It takes me twice as long to write this stuff as it does for my regularly-assigned financial services client. This causes me tremendous stress.

So when, last week, the client requested a meeting with me, for me and about me, I was filled with dread. I was terrified that it was some sort of corrective summit and I'd be told how I was coming up short, what I needed to do to improve. I've been doing this for 40 years now. I've never had a client ask me off their business. While I am confident such an occurrence wouldn't cost me my job in the short-term -- contractually, much of my salary is subsidized by my financial services client* -- I want to hang on to this job as long as possible and client trouble wouldn't help me any. Also, it would be professionally embarrassing.

The stress has not been good for my still covid-fragile gut.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out we were assembled not to bury me but to praise me. Someone actually referred to my efforts as "amazing." They said that since this is going to be an ongoing relationship, they wanted to give me greater context surrounding their digital efforts. They explained how they see these blog posts contributing to their online presence and their brand credibility in 2021.

They also gave me more time than originally scheduled to do this month's posts. They didn't do this to be nice to me -- the current timeline didn't allow for their legal team's availability. But still, I'm delighted to have more time. As I mentioned, this writing does not come easily to me. More time = less stress. 

So nothing I was dreading came to pass and everything is better than fine.

As the sailor said, quote, "Ain't that a hole in the boat?"

*It's at times like this I'm glad I'm one of those creatives who pays attention in the geeky, business side of the business meetings.