Monday, August 08, 2016

9 and 1

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the Chicago Cubs' record over the last 10 games.

NINE wins, ONE loss.

Sunday's game was so good it was almost boring.

Though as a lifelong Cub fan, I believe I deserve a boring stretch of one-sided wins.

So while you all are watching the Olympics, I am allowing myself the luxury of letting my mind wander as I watch the best team in baseball!

If Obama's in on it, why will she miss him?

I don't know if it's fair to Bernie Sanders to call them "Sanders Supporters" -- because they aren't doing anything Sen. Sanders has requested they do and even booed him at the DNC -- but social media is filled angry anti-Hillary progressives who pound away at their keyboards about the Evil That Is HRC.

According to my new girlfriend "Julia Sugarbaker," Barack Obama is on IT. The big conspiracy that gave us "The Coronation." I guess he's backing Hillary because she's secretly for TPP, and as you know, TPP is really the biggest issue facing us as a nation.*

And yet they claim they will miss him. Apparently because of his charming performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner back in May.

So they support a President who is backing a woman who:

• stole the nomination
• murders people (I'm not kidding)
• is the victim of a neurological condition that causes her seizures (that's what Trump is exploiting when he emphasizes that Hillary said she "short circuited" in her interview with Chris Wallace)

Do they really think they have been able to find things on Google about Hillary that the President of the United States doesn't know? So he's endorsed her, speaks out for her, campaigns with her, even though she's a thieving, stroked-out murderer.

Oh yeah, and the POTUS gave us Obamacare -- which according to Sanders himself is a mess and must be overhauled -- and the aforementioned heinous TPP. And Debbie Wasserman-Schultz! Who do they think hired her in the first place?

But three months ago, he made a cute video about his lame duck days in the White House, so they'll miss him.

Nerd Prom was back in May. And it was covered extensively, as any news event about Washington correspondents naturally will be. So were they paying attention to political coverage back in May? You know, in the run up to the West Virginia, Kentucky and Oregon primaries. No. It's more fun to follow each other and make fun of Hillary's "shrill" voice and pantsuits. (Because Sanders has the pipes of an FM jazz dj and is sartorially splendid.)

Where the Clintons have always been lucky is that no matter how badly they act, the people who attack them are always worse. As I watch Donald Trump imply that Hillary is not "all there," and I see "progressives" slander her more and more insanely, I find myself defending her more and more. Contributing more and more cash. A woman I don't really care for! OOOOH! Maybe that's part of her brilliant master plan, too!

By the way, the President's video was a remake of the one Bill Clinton made for the same event in 2000.

*I thought it was guns, or perhaps upcoming Supreme Court nominations, but that's because I'm a silly woman who lives in a mixed-race urban area ... ON PLANET EARTH!