Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I don't want this to be true

This article from may explain what the hell happened between Al and Tipper. While I have never had a great affinity for Gore, it makes me sad that a 30-year marrige is coming to an end.

A week after news broke that Al Gore faced allegations of sexual assault, the former vice president broke his silence, issuing a strongly worded denial Wednesday. The statement comes as police in Portland, Ore., say they're reopening an investigation into a massage therapist's claims that Gore made "unwanted sexual contact" with her four years ago ... during a three-hour massage session at a luxury hotel in October 2006.

The Queen's Meme

Our monarch gets into the Spirit of the Season with her meme.
To play along, click here.

I hold these truths to be self-blevident!
(That’s blog + evident for all you non-blog speakers)

I declare myself to be free from guilt.

I wish I could free myself of CLUTTER!

I am thankful that Ortho/Novum freed me from reproductive tyranny.

I don't mind paying for fun things but boring, utilitarian items (like light bulbs and toilet paper) should be free.

I am free to make the mistake of rooting for my Cubbies, over and over again. In fact, I look forward to it!

If I could choose one freedom I don’t have today it would be the freedom to eat whatever I damn well please without gaining weight. (I used to be able to, you know.)

In a free and perfect world there would be no handguns.

I am going to write my Declaration of Independence on a giant pizza crust.

I wouldn’t mind being taxed on fun things, but I highly resent being taxed on non-discretionary items, like food and medicine.

When I was younger I was free to piss away my money but now that I’m older I prefer to exercise a little restraint.

I declare myself free from the destructive habit of regret.

I declare myself joyfully addicted to Leroy Jethro Gibbs (my TV boyfriend)!!!

I don’t think the world will ever be totally free of lust.

With complete abandon, I free fall into dreams of the Cubs passing Milwaukee in the NL Central.

In a hypothetical Superman existence, I would use my power to do good by protecting all the kids whose parents stupidly don't watch them at the mall.

I wickedly use my my power to do evil by punishing all the lazy-ass parents referenced above.

If I weren’t so dependent on caffeine, I could be truly independent about the beverage choices I make.

When I need to free my thoughts from stress and worry, I imagine Gibbs in his Navy whites, carrying me out of this paper bag factory.

I would like to freely kick BP in the seat of its hypothetical pants.

I want to do this (one illegal activity) every single day and pay no consequences. It's not illegal but it's not nice -- sleep with one man every single day, even if he's someone I shouldn't. Sigh.

I want the freedom to let my silliness run amok also and enjoy Alvin & the Chipmunks every single day.

If I could re-write the Freedom of Information Act I would remove all those heavy black lines that cover the good stuff from the public record.

I daily need the freedom to create and I don't give a damn what anybody else thinks about it.

If I had the power to throw one person in jail it would be Steve Bartman.

If I had the power to free one person from bondage of any kind I would free my best friend from the bondage of low self-esteem.

If I could “speak truth to power," I would say to the world, "Drive less, TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, and reduce your addiction to gas and oil, you morons!"

The 3 most important freedoms I have in my life are: freedom of speech, freedom of worship, and freedom to have as many cats as I want because I own and don't rent anymore.

My favorite freedom song is:

I'm skipping the last question because I'm devoting this blog to the idea of PERSONAL freedom. Nobody's responsible for this but moi.

Clean Me for Tuesday

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

It reminds me of a bastardization of an old Catskills comedy routine: “I just cleaned a shelf in my linen closet and boy, does my arm stink.” Let me explain. I had a graveyard of partially used colognes on the second shelf of my linen closet, reasoning that the scents would last longer in that dark, cool environment. Then, after tucking them safely away in the cool darkness, I forgot about them.

Tonight, before I disposed of any, I sprayed a bit on my right arm. Some I found had lost their scent, others I just don't like anymore. Twelve containers of fragrance that, for one reason or the other, I won't wear anymore anyway are in the trash, and two cosmetic bags are in the bag for Goodwill.