These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Saturday, March 25, 2023
Sunday Stealing
Friday, March 24, 2023
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) In this week's song, BJ Thomas sings that he knows it won't be long until he finds happiness. What are you looking forward to today? What's going to make you smile?
I'm going to watch this week's movie group film, Johnny Apollo. Tyrone Power is a classic movie star I've heard/read more about than actually watched. Last week I saw him in Witness for the Prosecution, now this, and I'm happy to fill this gap in my cinematic knowledge.![]() |
But isn't it a lovely jaw? Sigh. |
9) Random question: Do you consider yourself old fashioned? At times.
Wednesday, March 22, 2023
Thursday Thirteen #302
Thirteen "Dad Jokes." After doing TT's about Titanic, trips to the doctor and time in the dentist's chair, I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit. Some of these jokes will make you smile. Some will ... well, consider yourself warned.
1. Why do you need two pairs of socks for golf? In case you get a hole in one.
2. What does a tick have in common with the Eiffel Tower? They're both Paris sites.
3. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay we'd call them bagels.
4. Where do you learn how to make a banana split? Sundae school.
5. Why won't eggs tell one another jokes? They're afraid they'll crack each other up.
6. Why can't a nose be 12" long? Because then it would be a foot.
7. What did the cop say to his belly button? You're under a vest.
8. Why do nurses prefer red crayons? They have to draw blood.
9. How can you identify a dad joke? Easy! It's apparent.
10. How can you tell a dogwood tree? By its bark.
11. Why can't a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Because houses can't jump.
12. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
13. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
Tuesday, March 21, 2023
WWW.WEDNESDAY
PS
I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her
blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the
frustration I experienced trying to link up.
Monday, March 20, 2023
Pasta and time travel
I'm delighted! Perhaps I should be more cautiously optimistic, because she has a tendency to idolize men and they can't live up to her expectations. But you know what? That may not happen for months ... or years ... or at all! What leads me to say this?
Guess who was wrong. That would be me! I was so sure that my oldest friend was embarking on one of her manic phases. When she gets like this, she becomes uncharacteristically driven and makes big, irreparable moves that aren't in her own best interest. I lost sleep, thinking of her either being scammed by this guy or traveling with him to Tijuana where they would celebrate their quicky marriage with matching tattoos. However, while I was tossing and turning, she was planning a day of pasta and time travel.
Have I learned from this? Yes. Will I over-react and waste my time worrying? Most likely. But I hope when that happens I'll remember this episode and talk myself down.
Photo by Sdf Rahbar on Unsplash
Sunday, March 19, 2023
Sunday Stealing
One song that describes my life. "Hard Candy Christmas." I've had this internal dialog with myself countless times. I battle the blues but I always bounce back.
Two things I wish I had more of in my life. Money and self discipline.
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Arriving today by 10:00 PM! |
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Before she became an icon |
I, on the other hand, was wearing long underwear
It was about 20º today, 15º with the windchill. Snow flurries, too. I was bundled up because, after my hair cut and lunch with my nephew, I was walking about half a mile to CVS where I could stock up on essentials while taking advantage of my 30% off coupon and earn double rewards.*
My nephew met me at the salon, a little late. We'd had a miscommunication, not his fault or mine but the stylist's. Not a big deal. But my nephew arrived on foot -- his car isn't running well -- a little disheveled. Then we walked to the restaurant, stopping along the way at the convenience store so I could pick up a lottery ticket.
We ate and gabbed. We talked baseball and The Boss. I'm very excited that he's not only discovered Bruce Springsteen, he's going to the summer concert at Wrigley Field! I love how much we have in common. I love how he still enjoys spending time with me.
We're alike in ways beyond our passion for baseball in music. For it was at the restaurant I saw he was wearing his Cubs sandals.Let that sink in: he wandered through the below freezing wind and snow in his Cubs sandals. He was afraid he was going to late and didn't take the time (which would have been what? 3 minutes?) to put on shoes and socks.
I was worried about him walking home that way. Some may say that, at 22, he should know better, but I'm not judging him. For I remember that long ago Chicago February, Valentine's Day, when I wanted my lover to see me in my new strappy heels. He liked my legs and and not only did the shoes make them good great, they matched the belt I was wearing with my purple dress. (I remember the dress, too.) On the way to the restaurant, my cab got stuck in traffic. I could see my destination -- less than three blocks. So I paid the driver and got out in the middle of the street, tottering on those heels on the cold, rain-slicked streets, feeling the water seep into my shoes. My legs may have looked good, but my feet were cold and miserable all night. But I just couldn't sit in that cab a moment longer.
Blood will tell.
*I am now but a poor retiree on a fixed income and these things are more important to me now.
Friday, March 17, 2023
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: The Rocky Road to Dublin (2008)
2) He leaps onto a ship but the captain makes him sleep in the hold with pigs. Have you ever taken a cruise? (If so, we hope you had better accommodations.) I've never taken a cruise.
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I took this myself! The closest I've ever been to HIM. |
6) McDonald's has made Shamrock Shakes a St. Patrick's Day tradition. McDonald's began adding the drive-thru window to their restaurants in the 1970s. Would you rather order from the restaurant counter or the drive-thru? I don't have a car, so the drive-thru would be pretty dangerous.
7) A four-leaf clover is considered good luck. Do you have a lucky charm? I did, but I lost it. Which made me very sad.
9) Random question: Think of your upcoming week. Which day will be the busiest? I have something going on every day Saturday through Wednesday. Some of it fun (lunch with my nephew, celebrating Elaine's birthday), some of it not (dental checks for both me and my cat Connie). It's hard to say which day will be the busiest, or the most expensive.
Wednesday, March 15, 2023
Thursday Thirteen #301
1. Annual check up. 'Nuff said.
2. Accidents. Patients make more emergency appointments in spring and summer, injuring their teeth in sports or DIY projects in the yard or garage.
3. Other medical treatments. Radiation, hormone replacement therapy, and certain prescription drugs can have an impact on teeth and gums.
4. Pregnancy. Hormones can accelerate tooth decay and gingivitis.
5. Sensitivity to hot or cold. This could mean your teeth have worn down to the point that the root or nerve are exposed.
6. Pain. Toothaches can be brutal.
7. Swelling in your face or neck. This could be caused by a tooth problem you can't see, like gum disease or infected roots.
8. Bleeding gums. Even a little blood in the sink on a regular basis warrants attention, because gum disease won't get better on its own.
9. Dry mouth. Not producing enough saliva can lead to tooth decay.
10. Bad breath. It's not only embarrassing, it could indicate oral infection.
11. Your jaw pops or locks. Trouble opening and closing your mouth could be temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ).
12. Tongue trouble. Sores and spots on your tongue could be caused by simple irritation or something more serious and you should get them checked out.
13. A better smile. Dentists are your go-to for tooth whitening.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
It won't be my fault. My shrink said so!
Tuesday was my weekly Zoom session with my shrink. I'm trying to make progress, really I am. At least now I'm asking the right questions.
I'm very worried about my oldest friend. She is bipolar, and when she is in the manic phase she makes very bad, sometimes irreparable, decisions. I believe that could be where she's heading now. It scares me.
After months of insisting she's happier now than she's ever been -- even though she has not made a single friend since she moved to California over a decade ago, is unemployed, has health/mobility issues, and is living in a granny flat behind a bigger house that's inhabited by people she barely knows and doesn't especially like and has a landlady who is pressuring her to move NOW -- she is now suddenly saying she's "sick of being a shut-in."
What a zero-to-sixty change in attitude! That's a red flag.
So what is she doing to change her life? Is she concentrating on getting healthy, or joining a book club, or taking a class? No, she impulsively joined an online dating service. She even admitted she did it on impulse. Impulsivity is a red flag.
We've been here before. She imbues males with the power to rescue.* She's always disappointed. Not only that, she had her first date pick her up and drop her off at home. So this man that she met online now knows that she's physically vulnerable, alone, tucked in back of the big house. This upsets me because I'd prefer she not be the subject of a true-crime podcast.
Bad judgement is a red flag, too.
Here I am, 2,000 miles away. Helpless to help. I'm afraid of what's happening, and there's nothing I can do. It's massively distressing.
My shrink tells me that:
1) I'm not wrong. I am unable to help. She's going to do what she's going to do and I can't stop her.
2) Anything that happens has nothing to do with me. While that's painful and frustrating, it's also liberating. None of this is my fault.
3) It could go well. This man she went out with might call her back. They could have a happy relationship. After all, my friend is funny, pretty and kind. She has a lot to offer! And by dating him, she could meet his friends and expand her world. All that would be good. In fact, nothing would make me happier.
This is what my Cousin Rose was so artlessly trying to tell me when I visited her in Tampa. Next time I write to her, I must tell her I understand it better now. I know Rose loves me and means well and besides, she's right.
On a small, micro-level, I felt better when I logged off than when I logged on. That's a victory, isn't it?
*When she was summoned to the principal's office to discuss her grade-school-aged daughter's behavior problems, she pulled her son from high school to accompany her. That was when she still lived here and had friends and neighbors she could have asked for support. Yet somehow she believed her son's pubescent Y chromosome was going to protect her.
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash
Tuesday, March 14, 2023
WWW.WEDNESDAY
PS
I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her
blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the
frustration I experienced trying to link up.
Saturday, March 11, 2023
Sunday Stealing
LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY PENPALS
Oh, the week she's had!
She was suffering from Stage 3 Periodontal Disease. There are only 4 stages. Deep cleaning and scaling were required to remove the plaque, a tooth was extracted, and cells from the site of the recurring oral sore were sent to the lab to rule out anything dire. This was complicated and expensive, and she understood none of it.
What she did understand was that she was Outside. Connie hates Outside. I could leave the front door wide open and she wouldn't even approach it. All she needs in the world is in this condo.
Worse than Outside, she was away from me and surrounded by strangers. Unfamiliar hands and voices! Her front leg was shaved for an IV.
There were dogs at the vet. Connie is never, ever around dogs.
When she awoke, she was stoned. Disoriented. In a cage. It was awful. What fresh hell is this?
They put her in her carrier and brought her to me. As soon as she heard my voice she started purring so loud I could hear her from a few feet away. The guilt was enormous. She didn't think of me as the monster who brought her to the vet. I was only the angel who rescued her.
When I got her home, she was happy to see Roy Hobbs but was unsteady on her feet and very confused. She wanted to be sure her water and her box were where they were supposed to be, though she didn't use them. Then she hid under my bed. Where she stayed for more than 12 hours.
I was worried because the anesthetic she was given in the hospital would be wearing off and I wanted to give her a pain pill. But I didn't want to reach under the bed and drag her out. That would be too cruel. She has a brain the size of a plum pit, and she's trying to process all that had happened to her. So I crushed her pain pill and mixed it into a few spoonfuls of Gerber baby meat. I slid the bowl under the bed and she lapped it up. The medication did the trick and when she started feeling better, she ventured back into her world.
Where she's been ever since.
I don't know if she's feeling better, now that the infected tooth is gone and her gum is healing. Or if she's just so relieved to be back in her familiar surrounding and her old routine. But all she does is rub up against me and purr. And purr. And purr.
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: Pass Me By (1965)
9)
Random question: What's the perfect way to spend a lazy afternoon? Eating pizza and watching a great movie, like Holiday with Katharine Hepburn and the estimable Mr. Cary Grant.
Tampa recap
I haven't posted much about my trip to Florida because it was four complicated days. Because my relationship with my cousin is so complicated. When I was growing up, Rosie was my idol, my role model, and my champion within the family. I love her for that. My unhappy adolescence would have been damn near unendurable without her.
But now I'm 65 and she's 77. It's different now than it was when I was 15 and she was 27. I don't need her to show me the way anymore, and her incessant "nudging" makes me crazy. Everything I do is suspect or at the very least up for review. Everything is an argument. Why, after she said she'd pay for lunch, did I offer to leave the tip? What's the point of that? Why, after shopping for souvenirs, didn't I slip the shopping bag into my purse? Have I considered how much money I'd save if I didn't have cats? Even this: How can I prefer the original Magnum PI to the remake when "Tom Selleck has always been so annoying?" Most infuriating -- and, I suppose, amusing -- is that I "care too much" about my friends. I'm "too involved." I have to acknowledge that "they have a right to do as they choose." Um, Rose? Don't I have a right to do as I choose?
But there's this: she loves me very much. This whole trip, centered around the Yankees spring training, was because I love baseball. My first night there she hosted a pot luck in my honor with all the Florida cousins. ("Everybody wants to see you, Gal!") We visited the museum along the Tampa Riverwalk because she knows I love museums and the Chicago River Walk. We went to super-touristy John's Pass -- definitely not her thing -- because I like little shops.
She wanted this trip because she worries about me "worrying too much." She wanted to see for herself that I'm OK. How can that not melt me? Also, we experienced my visit very differently. I wanted to slip into her room and smother her with her pillow as she slept. When I was at the airport, waiting to board my plane home, she texted me dates when the Yankees play the Rays so I can come back for a regular season game. (Not gonna happen.)
And there's this: I'm 65 and she's 77. How much time do I think we have? As it is, right now she's one of two people left on earth who held me when I was a baby. She walks with a cane. I've already outlived my dad. I want to appreciate her when I can.
Now here's an overview of the trip (except for the Yankee-Tiger game, which I covered off on here.)
Riverwalk and Tampa Bay History Center. I admit I love this nerdy stuff, and so does Rose. We enjoyed different parts of the museum -- I loved the pirates and sports stuff and I learned she has a love of cartography.
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2008 with Tampa was Cub Manager Joe Maddon's first trip to the World Series |
We had a lovely lunch at the Museum, too. The Columbia Cafe has great food and a lovely view of the Riverwalk. While the Chicago River Walk has its charms and is still my favorite, I admit I'll never see this sign here.
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Part of why I'm happy to be a Lake Michigan girl! |
I learned that modern-day Tampa has cable cars between tourist attraction. Not buses painted to look like cable cars. ACTUAL CABLE CARS! I wish we'd taken one, but Rosie is very car-centric and public transportation just doesn't occur to her.
At John's Pass, we ate seafood and ice cream, shopped, and took a boat ride where I saw beautiful colors, big birds, and DOLPHINS!
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It's like he wanted me to take his picture |