Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Look! The glass is half full!

Yes, something very bad happened to me. It continued to hurt me and bedevil me throughout my life at the most unexpected times. And no, I didn't get the support I needed and deserved from my mother and sisters.

This has to be acknowledged. We're only as sick as our secrets, and this one was a doozy.

On the other hand, after this week, much of it will be OVER. The old fart will be, literally, dead and buried. I'll never have to see at his face. I can think of no reason why his name will come up in any context, ever again. This is an enormous relief.

And, since he managed to die at a time when I can't leave town as I'd planned, I suddenly have quite a cache of American Airlines miles I can use. So this October's trip to Los Angeles? The flight will be free, thankyouverymuch.

I've gotten the support I craved as kid now, and now I'm very grateful for it. Those of you who posted your support on Sunday's post have no idea how much your words meant to me. My aunt from the other side of the family wrote that she wishes she could fly in for "the funeral of that old bastard" so she can "practice her grave dancing." And my oldest friend, an abuse survivor herself, and I talked a lot on Sunday night. It's good to have people in your corner!

And I got through it. I wonder how much this has colored my relationships with men, but at this point it's only an intellectual pursuit. It doesn't really matter how I got through or what it cost me, I got through.

I'm tougher than I give myself credit for.

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play this meme.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

From Mary: A Novel by Janis Cook Newman. It's the fictional autobiography of Mary Lincoln. Here she is on page 158, lobbying Abe to bring her along when he moves to Washington as an Illinois Congressman.
"I want to see how they treat you in Washington City. Once they come to learn what you are."
"And what is that?" he asked as the baby tugged upon his ears.

"Noble," I told him.

My husband held up his youngest son. "And I am to refuse the heart's desire of someone who believes that of me?" he asked Eddie.