I miss my mother. But only selfishly.
Now she is in Heaven. Healthy and whole and reunited with her baby brother (my uncle) and my dad. My parents had a difficult marriage in its final decades but I know they loved one another once and am convinced that now, in Heaven, they are restored to when they were at their best, and together.
I had a lover who didn't believe in the afterlife and told me it was a crutch. If that's true, well, it's a crutch I lean heavily on right now.
Except it's not true. My mom is in Heaven, sitting on the arm of my dad's recliner with her head in his neck, or laughing at one of my uncle's ridiculous puns.
I may be lonely and hurting but she is at peace. And that is God's greatest gift.