Friday, May 02, 2008

I'm so mad at my mom right now

She has been in the hospital since about 9:00 last night! She isn't in any pain, but she can't breathe. She's on oxygen and receiving antibiotics. They've run a million tests (chest xray, urinalysis and an electrocardiogram) and they still don't really know what's wrong with her. She's even had a blood transfusion!

I told her that, as of today, she no longer smokes.

It could be COPD. It could be her heart. It might be pneumonia. Emphysema is still being discussed. And all of these are exacerbated by her fucking cigs.

"I only smoke 6 a day. Maybe less." That's what she's been telling me for years. I always respond by saying if it's no big deal, then just stop. But my mother is very conflict averse. She'll say, "I will …" to avoid the argument, and light another cigarette.

Well now she's in the hospital. And I'm mad because she's my mommy and I still need her.