Monday, January 03, 2022

Why did I even look?

Looking at my old and dear friend John's Facebook page (he posted a most handsome pic in a Santa hat), I saw that he's still in contact with a woman named Pamela. I kinda/sorta remember Pamela from the long ago 1980s when John and I first met. 

For some reason, Pamela made me think of Trudy. Trudy and I worked at the same company and moved in the same crowd between 1981-1987 and were frequently rivals. We even both slept with the same guy (the one I ended up wasting my twenties with). I looked her up on Facebook and Google.

Trudy lives in Rhode Island. She moved from advertising to real estate and now she sells software. She's 65 this year, so I assume she's thinking of retiring. She's been divorced three times (!), had two children with Husband #3 (now adults), and vacationed this past summer with an age appropriate man at Glacier National Park.

I don't know how I feel about any of this. Still competitive, I guess. Trudy had a beautiful Christmas tree this year and her home looks far, far nicer than mine. On the other hand, she couldn't cut it in advertising and I'm successful. I'm not sure which is more embarrassing: to be a barren spinster or a three-time divorcee. 

Why does any of this matter to me? Here it is, the last day of my vacation, and I wasted an hour on a woman I literally haven't set eyes on in 35 years.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just another reason why I'm in therapy.