Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Weird Dreams.2

I have had three distinct, upsetting nightmares about my best friend recently. I remember little of them when I wake up, except for the fact that they shake me enough to wake me up and it's hard to get back to sleep.

Here's what I recall of the first dream: He is devastated, telling me that he and his wife have separated because he's been having an affair with a coed named Meely. Now he does live in a college town, both he and his wife come from broken homes so splitting up would upset him, and Meely is what we call my sister's cat, Amelia. Tried to find something -- anything -- about this one on dreammoods.com and the only relevant note was that cats often symbolize feminine sexuality.

Here's what I recall of the second dream: I am upset and anxious about something he has told me. (I don't know what.) I get out of his car in front of my house and he peels away and I just watch him disappear up the street. It doesn't sound like much, I know, but that's all I remembered when I woke up with a start. Dreammoods.com has a lot to say about car dreams, and this one seems to mean that by having been a passenger, I am frustrated by the passive role I have in our friendship. OK, that makes sense. But is it important to remember what it was he said to me in the car? That thing that upset me so much? Because it's gone.

Here's what I recall of last night's dream:
He, his wife and I are all in a car traveling somewhere together and I'm in the backseat. I'm upset because so many of the storefronts we pass are shuttered, which means unemployment for the people who live here (wherever we are). They are speaking to one another in hushed tones and I am terribly frustrated, feeling like a little kid whose parents are ignoring her. (Except that they are both younger than I am.) According to dreammoods.com, being in the backseat means, "that you are putting yourself down and allowing others to take over. This may be the result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence." Okay, but take over what? I know none of these sound particularly scary or even interesting as I recount them, but I only remember snippets and the mere act of posting them here is upsetting me.

I'm glad I'm seeing my therapist tonight.

THIS JUST IN: My shrink tells me my dreams are not as they seem!
My best friend is nurturing and a very good dad, so he (and his wife) symbolize family in general and my family in particular. I am not getting the support and attention I need from my family, and that is causing me great frustration.

My sister and brother-in-law don't listen to me about their kids. He's been out of work off and on for the last few years (the shuttered stores we pass in the car). "Meely" represents my sister. Bouncing around in the backseat like a kid represents how I relate to my niece and nephew and how they (my sister and brother-in-law) aren't hearing what I have to say. I believe that, as parents, they are making mistakes with two kids I love very much and I'm frustrated and angry.

Makes sense to me. So, while knowing the origin of my dreams don't lessen my frustration and anger, it will make it easier to sleep tonight.

Tuesday Tunes

Tell us about one album you purchased that you were seriously disappointed in and why? And do you still have that album in your collection?

The first one that springs to mind is Nebraska. Sorry, Boss, but I just wasn't ready for your depressed world view at that point. To be honest, I still don't like those songs when you do them in concert. Many fans agree with me -- the auditorium is almost lit from within as the crowds heads for the exits to use the restroom and buy more beer when he goes Nebraska on us. But I admire Springsteen for continuing to perform songs he feels a profound, artistic connection to, even if we don't (and even if I gave the album away back when it was still on vinyl).

To check out Tuesday Tunes or play along yourself, click here.

Here we are again

Last night I watched the Rockies blow a lead and be eliminated by the Phillies right there at Coors. How deja Red Sox!

I had hoped the outcome would be different because (1) my best friend is a Rockies fan and (2) former Cub Jason Maquis now wears a CR logo. But now I must stop watching baseball until next spring. I am beginning to suspect I'm a jinx and besides, what's the point in getting all sad over a team that isn't even the Cubs?