Friday, July 09, 2010

Thank God you're there

Blogosphere, I'm reeling. I promised I would not tell anyone this -- not even my best friend -- and I'm going to honor that. But I use words. It's what I do, it's how I process information. And so I'm telling you so I can work it through.

Kathleen has cancer.

She just told me. I literally just hung up the phone.

It's breast cancer. She found out Wednesday afternoon. She told her husband immediately. She told her kids yesterday. She told me today. She's telling her mom later this evening. I am honored that she told me before her mother or her siblings (she has a big family).

I don't know how she is waiting a week for the next step -- a Wednesday meeting with an oncologist. About a year ago I had a "suspicious mammogram" and I practically jumped out of my skin as I waited for the (blessedly) benign results.

Here's what we know now: the lump is small and in the center of her breast, not too close to the nipple or the armpit, which is good news. Her gynecologist suggests that she will "probably" have a lumpectomy, followed by meds but not chemo. Of course, that's only her gyne's best guess.

She's been dizzy lately, overworked and overemotional weeks even before she got the results. I wonder if her body hasn't been subtly, or not so subtly, sending her signals that she should go to the doctor.

I need to call the doctor about my annual mammogram, too.

Kathleen knows I'm here for her. I reminded her that I will be there for her to give her anything she needs, even if it's a friend to take a day off and sit with her at home.

There isn't much else I can do. Except, of course, pray and worry.

I don't want this to be true. But it is, and I have to accept it.

The mercury's rising

I really don't like hot weather. It makes me grumpy and lazy and ... um ... hot. Like today, on the el. I'm coming home from a sclerotherapy treatment (possibly my last). I'm not feeling especially attractive -- the post-treatment support hose don't help.

A guy had fallen asleep on the train. He was wearing a tank top that showed off well-toned arms in the sweetest tan color. My first thought was, "I wonder how his tattoo would taste?" I shocked myself. But not as much as I'd shock him if he was awakened by a pudgy old stranger licking his tattoo on the train!

Now THIS was a party

Look who joined Ringo on stage to celebrate his 70th birthday. Look what he sang!

As seen at Kwizgiver's

She got a different result than I did.

You Could Use Some Purple

It's hard to put your finger on it, but something about your life probably feels incomplete right now.

You are restless and a bit aimless. You could do with some direction.

Tap into some purple energy to find wisdom and true understanding.

You need to gaze inward in order to truly solve your problems. Don't be afraid to introspect.