Sunday Stealing

Four Superlatives

1. Your MOST overused word or phrase: Probably "fuck." It's not my fault it's so versatile. It can be an adverb, an adjective, a noun and, yes, even a verb.

2. Your BIGGEST expense: Right behind my mortgage there's my Xfinity bill. It covers my landline, my internet/wifi, and cable and just about every streaming service. (Except Paramount.)

3. Your WORST fear: That I will lose my independence.

4. Your BEST memory of Summer 26: In late August I was at Wrigley Field for the Cubs' 150th anniversary. It was a thrill! First the greatest surviving players – including many of my girlhood heroes – came onto the field. Then this year's team won. My nephew and I had such a good time.

The team gave us fans this pin. I love it!

 

 

August Happiness Challenge – Day 22

My 2026 Happiness Icon

Today's Happiness: It all came together today. I have been worried about my short-term finances. Roy Hobbs has dental work coming up this week and the estimate is jaw dropping – between $820 and $2,335 (depending on whether he needs teeth pulled and how many). He has insurance, but since his gingivitis is chronic, they may well rule it a preexisting condition and not cover it. I have cash put aside for this, but I would rather not part with the whole $2,335.

 

Then there's Freddie and Fannie. There's a new lending policy that demands condo associations have 15% in reserves, up from the current 10%. OK, so that's a 5% increase in my monthly assessment right there. Then there's the higher prices we're paying for insurance, utilities, services and repairs (yet our President keeps insisting "affordability" is not an issue), so I predict each unit owner will welcome 2027 with 8% to 10% more in assessments each month.

 

I know that neither of these situations is all that unique to me. Neither is insurmountable, nor will they keep me from the upcoming film festival (Noir City Chicago) or my planned trips to Michigan to see my niece and her husband and Violet. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm not thrilled with this unexpected outlay of cash.

 

But then today I got great news from the bank! They just did the annual analysis of my mortgage escrow and determined there's a surplus in my account. I received a check for $435! Great timing for the vet bill. But wait! There's more! My monthly mortgage payment has been reduced by $30/month. That will make the 2027 assessment increase more palatable.  

 

I did nothing to precipitate this joyful turn of events except go to my mailbox. Isn't that grand? 

 

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

Thursday Thirteen #476

More budge in your budget. Every time I buy groceries I toss something in the bag for the local food pantry. It used to be I could find all kinds of non-perishables on sale for under $1. Not so anymore. Not that it matters, but I blame the tariffs and the ongoing effect of the War in Iran. 

Of course, my opinion doesn't matter. The store brand pasta that was 99¢ under Sleepy Joe Biden will still be $1.39, whether or not I shake my fist at the clouds. Instead, inspired by a recent issue of AARP Bulletin and Martha Stewart's webpage, I give you ...

13 tried-and-true ways to curb your spending

1. Pay with cash. You're less likely to go over the fixed amount you set aside for groceries or dinner if you go old school and don't rely on plastic.

2. Get rewards. If you're going to pay with a card, make sure it's one that gives you something in return. If Card A will give you double miles on dining and Card B offers triple points at the pump, keep both in your wallet and tap the right card at the right time.

3. Clean your microwave more often. Crumbs left behind can create "hot spots" in the oven interior and shorten the its life.

4. Remove your roof rack. It's a scientific fact: a rack creates aerodynamic drag that makes your car use more gas.

5. Change the oil regularly. Yes, it's dirty and, even if you have someone else do it, time consuming. But skipping your vehicle's oil change can reduce gas mileage (expensive) and damage the engine (even more expensive).  

6. Don't park at the airport. People who are used to driving drive. But it's almost always cheaper to take a rideshare to/from the airport than to park.

7. Don't pay rental car insurance you're already getting. Major credit cards often include rental car coverage as a perk. Check your card's website before you take go to the rental car counter.

8. Turn down the laundry temp. Check the labels and the back of your detergent bottle. You can likely get your laundry just as clean at a cold or warm setting, and you'll lower your electric bill by not making your water heater go all the way to hot.

9. Look beyond the "big guys." Smaller providers – US Mobile, Mint Mobile and Consumer Cellular – access the same networks as Verizon, AT&T and T-Mobile but often cost less.

8. Celebrate at the dollar store. Save on party supplies like paper plates, napkins, and cups.

10. Clean your gutters. Clogged gutters will sag and you'll have to replace them sooner. They can also overflow and leak, causing expensive damage to the outside of your house.

10. Think thrift for glass. Picture frames, vases and decorative jars are usually good second hand and all are readily available at your thrift store.

11. Keep a tote bag in your purse or car. Many municipalities charge a bag fee that you won't have to pay if you bring your own with you. 

12. Social media is not just for sharing vacation photos. Follow your favorite stores and find out about sales in advance. Some retailers post coupons you can load onto your phone for next time you visit.

13. Comparison shop for pet supplies. Often your local grocery store, Target and Walmart sell the same brands for less than the chain pet stores charge.

How about you? Any tips to add?

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

 

Planning Ahead

It began with a joke I made during a recent sit down with my financial guy. We talked about my spending over the first six months of the year and my biggest expenditures came back-to-back – first my Connie Cat's surgery and then my trip to the TCM Film Festival. Yeah, I bought a new mattress and bed, but that came in distant third. 

 

As we discussed this, it washed over to me that my lifestyle is different from my friends. "Elaine went to Paris, Lisa went to Ireland, and I went to vet." I thought it was funny.

 

"You know," Jonathan said, scrolling through my financials on his screen, "If you wanted to go to Europe, we could make that happen." My spending over the last two years has been less than we projected. I'm OK with that. We still have two+ years of Donald Trump with his fakakta tariffs and international adventurism and insistence that "affordability" is a Democratic hoax. To say I don't trust him with our economy is an understatement of almost epic proportions, so I'm good with being conservative with my personal finances. 

 

But Jonathan got me thinking about my future and what purchases would make me happy. I need a nice new winter coat, but I think that will be my only big fall/winter apparel purchase. I love my sweaters, but I already have a shit-ton of them and I got two pair of boots last winter.

 

There's a new refrigerator on my horizon. But I neither want nor need bells and whistles there. I'm dragging my feet on this more out of reluctance to toss more steel and copper into the landfill than financial concern.

 

I want to visit my niece and little Violet a couple times before the year is over. I'm attending Noir City Chicago for several nights and I'm headed to Wrigley Field to see my guys, and while I will be spending a lot, it's not on a par with a trip to Europe. 

 

I don't want to go to Europe. I just don't. I'd like to go to Springfield, IL to visit Abe, but that's a hotel and an Amtrak ticket.

 

I am looking forward to the TCM Film Festival in 2027, and I'm excited that I can do it in an elevated way. I know what hotel I want to stay at: The Loews Hollywood. The location is perfect. While I don't think I want to upgrade my room – I'm really not in the room that much – I would like to take advantage of room service more often. Jonathan says I can afford it.

 

But most of all, there's Meeow Chicago. When I'm at the Loews, Connie and Roy Hobbs will be enjoying luxurious digs, too. They can share a suite with a skylight and a climbing tree and boxes to hide in. Best of all, they will have staff attending them from 7 am to 7 pm each day and will be monitored overnight. I'll get photos and text updates every day. I've emailed the owner, who outlined their protocol in case of emergency, which I find comforting.

 

I will have more fun in Hollywood knowing Connie and Roy Hobbs will be under constant scrutiny and care. I take my responsibility to them very seriously. I may not want to go to Europe, but I want to do this, and I'm grateful I can afford it.

 

 

 

Everybody should have a Jonathan

I spent about 30 minutes with Jonathan, my financial advisor. I needed to make a withdrawal from my IRA to carry me through year end, and I wanted to check in and see how I'm doing. Am I protected in case the AI bubble bursts? Are my investments keeping up with inflation? What's our plan?

Short answer: I'm fine, and yes, we have a plan. 

I am so glad I have him overseeing my money! It's such a relief because he's the face of a team of advisors managing my portfolio. This is serious – this money has to last me for the rest of my life – and I truly do not know how to do this myself.

When I was still working and contributing to my 401(k) every two weeks, I resisted having my fund professionally managed because I didn't think it was big enough, substantial enough, for anyone to bother with. That was a mistake. I wonder how much finer I would be now if I hadn't tried to DIY then.

Photo by Af Hfmn on Unsplash

Gratitude Challenge: Day 23

I first took this challenge in November 2014 and I think now is a good time to revisit it. Click here for a list of the Gratitude Challenge prompts.

Day 23: Peace We just had our quarterly condo board meeting and I'm glad there was no drama. Everyone played nice. Because of new lending guidelines, we are almost assuredly going to have a big increase in monthly assessments for 2027, and we wanted to get the word out and let people starting planning now. The attitude seemed to be, "Oh, that's 6 months away." I'm grateful those in attendance were sanguine about it because there isn't anything we can do to change this.

 

Gratitude Challenge – Day 7

I first took this challenge in November 2014 and I think now is a good time to revisit it. Click here for a list of the Gratitude Challenge prompts.

Day 7: Job This summer I'll likely work just one shift/week at the card shop, and that suits me fine. The other girls I work with – and they are all much younger than I am – are scrambling for more hours, but the fact is that between Mother's Day* and Halloween there really aren't many events that drive people into our shop, and without sales, it's hard to support all of us working at the full schedule.  

I am grateful that I can afford to work one shift/week. I've made a lot of financial mistakes over the years, but one thing I did right was treat my retirement savings as sacred. Whether it was the US Savings Bond payroll savings plan at my first job when I was 17, or the 401(k) programs I participated in at subsequent jobs, once I put that money away I pretended it was gone. I didn't make withdrawals or borrow against it. That puts me in the position today where instead of looking at the light summer schedule as a time for belt tightening, I see it as more time to watch baseball.

I'm also grateful that I work with Alejandra, Zoey and Carla. They are twentysomethings of divergent backgrounds and I appreciate the opportunity to hear their perspectives on life.

*Sorry, Dad, but Father's Day just isn't as lucrative.

I'm sorry I looked

I went to the dentist yesterday. It was a quick, painless appointment. X-rays, a cleaning, a baggie filled with free toothpaste and mouthwash, and I was on my way. This may seem run-of-the-mill to you but it was a cause for celebration for me. I haven't had a dental appointment this uneventful since 2019.

I've had teeth pulled ... gum surgeries ... root canals ... implants ... veneers ... That's countless hours in the chair.

And $22,506.25. That doesn't include meds.

Now I have had good dental insurance – both through my employer and now on my own. (But dental is not included in Medicare.) And it still came to $22,506.25.

When I worked I had paid time off. If I didn't have good insurance, if I didn't have sick days, I couldn't have afforded to do what it's taken to get my oral health in order. While I'd be lying if I didn't admit some of this dental work was handled the way it was because I wanted a nice, white smile, it's also true that oral health is important to one's overall health. Diabetes, heart disease and sepsis have all been linked to untreated dental issues.

Well, my dental issues have certainly been treated. To the tune of $22,506.25. (Or $3,215.15 a year every year for 7 seven years.*) I hope that the hardest work is over and, from here on out, all my dental appointments will be quick, painless and uneventful.

  

*If I'd invested that every year in a HYSA earning 2.5%, I'd have an extra $35,000. Like I say, I'm sorry I looked.

Photo by Quang Tri NGUYEN on Unsplash 

It now goes on for pages and pages

I began the "journal" on March 24. Nothing as formal as this photo would suggest – just little notes to self on scraps of paper about how my much loved cat Connie is doing. I knew she wasn't right, even though nothing was obviously wrong, and wanted to be able to share her symptoms with the vet. (Spoiler alert: What follows is a lot of drama, stress, expense and even some gore, but Connie is now on the mend. If you're not up for drama, stress, expense and gore, feel free to bail out now.)

On Tuesday, when I was vacuuming, I discovered the world's smallest cat turd next to the litter box. I (literally) made a note of it, hoping I was crazy. I figured this little sliver could mean one of two things: 1) one of the my cats tracked it out on their paws or 2) one of them found going in the box uncomfortable, so they went beside the box. Trust me, #2 is cat logic. 

By Wednesday I knew that Connie was not using the box regularly. Thursday she was sleeping more soundly and avoiding me and Roy Hobbs. Friday she only had one meal, not two, and didn't demand treats. Hello? Connie is a beggar. I knew at this point something was wrong.

Saturday was Vet Visit #1.  Our regular vet was happy with the color of Connie's gums and ears and liked how her eyes looked and heart sounded. But she did discover Connie was running a fever. Let's get to the bottom of this! Full bloodwork and a set of x-rays showed us ... little. My cat's organs were functioning properly, there were no masses to worry about. There was a little stool stuck in her bowel. Connie perked up after the vet gave her fluids and a shot of antibiotics. She sent me home with a bottle of kitty laxative and an appetite stimulant. She should feel better after a good night's sleep.

She did and she didn't. For a while on Sunday she was her affectionate self. Then by afternoon, she went back to avoiding me and Roy Hobbs. It's Sunday. The vet is closed.

Sunday was the Veterinary Emergency Room. I had Connie's bloodwork from the day before, so there was no reason to redo it. She had no fever. This vet took more x-rays, different angles. He found nothing but that same stuck poop. It was so small, he said, he didn't think an enema was warranted. He gave her fluids and a vitamin shot to perk her up and sent us home with a few cans of cat food especially for cats with gastrointestinal issues and advised me to continue dosing her with the laxative our regular vet prescribed.

Monday she was fine! Tuesday she was fine! Eating and drinking normally, interacting with Roy Hobbs as usual, demanding treats and tummy rubs from me. She even used the litter box, though her stool was loose. Still, there was much rejoicing.

Wednesday was Vet Visit #3. It was supposed to be a quick follow up at our regular vet clinic – though not with our regular vet. Our usual doctor had begun a vacation, but her back up was there. Vet #3 checked Connie's eyes, ears, gums and heart. All good. Then she lifted Connie's tail to take her temperature.

Oh. My. God. So much dried blood, so much fresh red blood, all around her anus. It was not there Wednesday morning. I know it wasn't because walked over this very computer keyboard, tail proudly in the air, trying to distract me from end-of-the-month bill paying. 

What the hell! She never goes outside, so it wasn't likely a cut. If one of her internal organs had gone flooey, why didn't it show up in her bloodwork or in any of her x-rays? And why was she so damn happy? 

Well, now we know. She had been suffering from an infected anal gland and it ruptured. The way Vet #3 explained it to me, Connie had a cyst just inside, where we couldn't see. Because it was in her soft tissue, it didn't show in the x-rays. Because it didn't affect her organs it wasn't reflected in her bloodwork. But as pimples will, it hurt. That's why she wasn't herself for the past week. That accounted for the fever. Now that it broke, it was gross and bloody and all, but she felt so much better.

Yay! So why doesn't my "journal" end here?

Because the rupture tore her skin and there was likely a ton of pus (though not visible to us) in the wound.

Thursday was surgery. Vet #3 said it really wasn't complex at all. After anesthesia, she shaved Connie back there, cleaned everything thoroughly, and stitched her up. Yes, she required quite a few stitches. Which means – THE CONE!

It's imperative Connie not, you'll pardon the phrase, lick her wound. Even though it is her nature to keep that area clean herself, she can't. Hence THE CONE. She hates THE CONE. 

It makes her bump into things. Or she intentionally bashes it into things to try to get away from it. Roy Hobbs doesn't quite recognize her in it, and there's been hissing. Oh, and there's this: THE CONE has revealed me to be the world's worst housekeeper. At one point, when Connie was manically scooting around under the sofa, the scooped up a discarded dryer sheet and a strip of used packing tape in THE CONE. 

So for now she's living in my bathroom. It's tiny. It's clean. It's quiet. Tomorrow is Saturday. I'll try letting her out again and we'll see if, after two full days in THE CONE, she has adjusted. Vet #3 said it often takes four or five days for cats to stop fighting it. Maybe Connie will be my Easter Miracle and just saunter around tomorrow or Sunday.

A week from today – April 10 – we return to Vet #3 for a check up. Here's hoping THE CONE can come off, though it's not likely. I should just buckle up and accept that THE CONE will probably be a two-week affair. (I just ordered a back-up, fabric cone from Amazon, in case she slips out of this one.)

Now for the money. How much has all this cost? I don't know. I'm not looking until this adventure is done. I mean, why? I know I'm going pay it anyway, no matter what, and I don't want to stress myself out. 

Fortunately, late last year, Discover sent me a "we miss you" promotional offer of 0% APR through August, and I'm taking mad advantage of that now. So I have four months to pay it down, and what I can't pay off, well, I have an "emergency CD" with funds for times like this.

Last fall. Joanna went to London. Over the holidays, Jamie went to Peru. Elaine just took a trip to Paris. Me? I've seen three different vets. But I feel fortunate that I'm able to give Connie the care she deserves without having to weigh the financial implications. I know pet parents have to do that all time, and it must be wrenching. 

 

Photo by Jakub Żerdzicki on Unsplash 

Sunday Stealing

Thursday Thunks

1. It's the middle of the night. There isn't another car in sight. You're stuck at a red light that just won't change. How long do wait until you run it? I don't drive so I don't know for certain. There's a four-way stop in my town that is frequently red all ways, even for pedestrians. I just daringly, perhaps unwisely, go when I decide it looks safe. I imagine I'd do the same thing in car ... if I was confident I wouldn't get a ticket.

2. What's your favorite recipe? I don't really have one.

3. When did you last ask yourself, "What the hell was I thinking?" I predict it will happen on March 23 when I see the the $18.95 (gulp!) rental charge on my credit card bill for Marty Supreme. It's one of the last multi-Oscar-nominated movies I hadn't seen and just went for it. And then immediately had renters' remorse. It was a good movie. I'm not sorry I saw it. Depending on how it does at the Oscars, I may be sorry I spent the $18.95 to see it.

4. Have you ever had a mole removed? If yes, where on your body was it? Lots. Last time was about a decade ago. My dermatologist referred me to a plastic surgeon to have one on my face removed and biopsied. It was benign, thank God. 

5. What website do you faithfully check (other than email)? I've been checking YouTube a lot lately to see when the latest Daily Beast podcasts drop.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Man I Need (2025)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, Olivia Dean is looking for a man who wants to really communicate and doesn't make her "read between the lines." Tell us about a time when you felt you had to work hard to figure out what someone was trying to tell you. In my old life, when I worked in advertising, it took me a while to understand my client. They are a Fortune 50 company, but their internal culture is so nice, so considerate, that I didn't always understand at first what they really wanted. Example: It was kind of exciting when we went to their offices to present new creative concepts, and so lots of people not directly involved with the project at hand would be in attendance as I did my reveal. Afterward, the VP would go around the room and invite everyone to share their opinion. 

 

"I liked the picture in the first concept but the headline of the second concept." OR "I think it would be better if we made the type bigger." OR "Instead of a young woman on her phone, could we show a dad with his kids?" 

I'd be taking notes furiously. I'd get my team started on the requested revisions. Then the VP would call and say, "We're going with the first concept as is, no changes."

 

WHAT?!? I finally realized the VP just wanted to make all her coworkers feel heard. Which is not the same as actually paying attention to what they said.

 

I eventually learned to not make any revisions until I got that call from the VP. 

 

2) She's eager to meet his best friend and join their friend group. Have you made any new friends recently? Kinda/sorta. Christine has been in my movie Meetup for well over a year, but last month she invited me to hang with her away from the rest of the group. She shares my Cub love and has been texting me all week, asking me which of this weekend's festivities I'm attending. So yeah, I guess we're becoming friends.

 

I'm so excited!

 

3) "Man I Need" was a hit in the fall of 2025. It was so popular that, in addition to CDs, a special vinyl release was scheduled in time for Christmas (2025) gift giving. How do you listen to music most often? Do you play CDs, download, stream, or play vinyl records? Mostly I just say, "Alexa, play [insert artist here]." I'm too lazy to actually cross the room and put a CD into the player or even download an album.

 

4) Olivia Dean recalls that her first public performance was singing at a school talent show. If we had a Sat 9 talent show, what would you do to entertain us? I would stay seated. You do not want to see me dance or hear me sing.

 

5) She says she loved listening to her parents' music collection. How about you? Did you and your parents share musical tastes? How about you and your kids? My dad hated every artist I loved. He's been dead more than 30 years now. I often wonder how he'd feel about being so wrong about the Beatles being a flash in the pan. Come to think of it, he loathed Elvis, too. Always called him "Presley." Streisand bugged the shit out of him, too, but I think it was more her unconventional personality than her artistry.

 

6) Olivia likes to be dressed up when she gets onstage, favoring gowns and heels. She says of her audiences, "If you guys paid good money that you worked hard for, let me give you a show." How do you feel when you're invited to an event that calls for you to dress up? Are you enthusiastic about choosing your outfit, or would you rather keep it casual? I like to see other people dress up. I enjoy checking out their outfits. One of the reasons I look forward to going to the bank is that all the advisors look so handsome in their jackets and ties. All that said, I will be happy to remain in jeans and t-shirts for the rest of my life.

 
7) She enjoys classic film and lists Singin' in the Rain as her favorite. What's the last movie you watched? Do you recommend it to other Sat 9ers? I just watched Something of Value, a 1957 film starring Sidney Poitier and Rock Hudson available on Amazon Prime. It's really hopelessly dated and I don't recommend it, except for the fact that Sidney Poitier and Rock Hudson were ridiculously gorgeous.

 

 

8) In 2025, when this song was popular, the average price tag for a new vehicle was $47,690 and $25,100 for a used one. Are you planning to make a big purchase in 2026? Not $50,000 worth of big, but yes. This summer I want to get a new refrigerator. Hopefully by year-end, I'll have purchased a new bed, too. It's funny, but the bed I've kinda fallen in love with online sits totally on the floor and is being marketed for pre-teen boys. I'm going to go into the showroom and check it out in person. It's a full-size bed (not a twin) and has all those book cases and USB ports and I think it would make me happy.

But I don't have a skateboard or school trophies!

9) Random question: Are you better with love or money? Ha! This is kind of a race to the bottom for me. But I'll say money. It looks like I'm going to be OK in retirement. No trips to Versailles or the Incas or London – like some of my Facebook friends took over Christmas – but I am going to Hollywood for the TCM Film Festival and I don't break out in a cold sweat when I get a bill from my dentist and I never skimp on my cats' care or food. So that's something.

 

Oh, I don't know what I want!

I stopped by the card shop today. I'm not working, but I wanted to pick up next year's Christmas cards on sale and before they are packed away. I checked the New Year's Day schedule to make absolutely sure Caroline wasn't there. I didn't want to start 2026 with a dose of drama.

Well, I got some anyway. 

Kamilah and Zoey were working. Kamilah rang me up and was charming. Then I went into the back to see Zoey, who was taking her lunch. She was very happy to see me and did the sweetest thing ...

She got the other girls to join her in saving sale receipts for me. Our neighborhood business district has a holiday promotion every year: Collect $500 in receipts from participating stores and get a $50 coupon book. I am passionate about this program. Obsessed, if you will. There's a limit of three books/household and I wanted Christmas 2025 to be the first year when I earned all three. Zoey found my enthusiasm endearing and promised that, if a customer refused a receipt after it printed,* she would save it for me. She then went on to enlist two other salesclerks to join her and right before Christmas, she texted me a photo of her perfectly manicured fingers holding a thick stack of receipts. She was so proud, and I was touched. So when I saw her yesterday, I thanked her – for both the receipts and for her avid support of me during the mess with Caroline. When I got home, I discovered there were $306.71 in receipts! (She tallied them for me.)  There was also a handwritten note in which Zoey told me I am "one of the sweetest souls" she's ever met and she hopes she will be like me "when she grows up." How dear!

But then there was this: Zoey told me Caroline is no longer working at the store. Nothing has been formally announced, but our manager Helena has revised the published schedule through January 17 and Caroline's name no longer appears. Instead there are holes, shifts that have no supervisor on duty. I checked the scheduled and damn if Zoey isn't right. Next time I work – Friday, January 9 – I am no longer working with Caroline as had been originally scheduled.

I am conflicted about this. Zoey told me how awkward the last few weeks have been. Every sales associate was contacted by HR like I was on the 18th, and some of them were on the sales floor when their calls came. Helena was often there and aware when they had to go back to the office for privacy as they answered questions about how she's been running the store during Caroline's reign of terror. Gulp!

I didn't make any of this happen. I didn't even sign the 5-page complaint that HR was responding to. Also, only two bullets of the document pertained to me. But I am still sorry that any of it happened. 

I was going to quit at the end of this month. But now I don't know that I will. Maybe with Caroline gone, the vibe at the store will be restored and I'll enjoy the job again. For reasons too complex to go into here, I suspect the store will be closed by Corporate this summer anyway. I make an average of $375/month. It's an attractive notion to stick it out until after Memorial Day and earn more than $1,000. 

No matter what happens, I'll have that note from Zoey and her assurances that, when she told the other girls to save receipts for me, they said they'd do anything for The Gal.

I just wish there wasn't so much drama! 

 PS I didn't need the extra receipts to reach the $500 threshold. But I loved the gesture so much.

 

*This happens a lot. I don't know why a consumer would trust us with their sales receipt for a charge purchase. Even if I didn't want it, I'd take it home and shred it. 

Photo by Siora on Unsplash 

I think I want a divorce

Monday will be my last workday of 2025. I have very mixed feelings about this.

Months ago, I put in for vacation from 12/22 to 12/29 because I didn't know a) what day Elaine would want to go to The Music Box Theater to see It's A Wonderful Life, which has become an important holiday tradition for us and b) when I would be traveling to Michigan to celebrate Baby Violet's first Christmas. 

Around Thanksgiving, I heard that two very lovely young women – Dierdre and Madeline – were coming home from college to work Christmas break. I told our store manager, Helena, that I was OK with her giving some of my hours to the girls. I emphasized that it wasn't that I don't care about the job, it's that I understood how much Diedre and Madeline needed cash. After all, they are making their eating money for the last semester, whereas I'm really working for the state tax deduction. She said she understood. 

So I guess it stands to reason that I'm not working. Didn't I engineer that way?

Yet when I looked at the schedule through January 2 and didn't see my name, I got worried. Is this because I complained to Helena about Caroline? Or simply because I asked for the time off and said I was okay with fewer hours?

Probably the latter. But the fact that the former even occurred to me is an indicator of how unsettled I've become at this job. I hate that I'm thinking about the card shop when I'm not there, and not in a good way. The workplace vibe is different since the cast of characters changed a bit last autumn. I'm not happy there. I like the physical structure – it's a quaint shop. We sell pretty, fragrant things. Our customers are, by and large, happy and friendly. It's us I don't care for anymore. I don't like the team. It's not a comfortable fit anymore.

I don't want to work there as it is. I want to work there as it was. 

Looking back on my working career, I have found myself here before. I believe in the work but not my coworkers. I always stuck it out before because I felt I had a responsibility to my client and, oh yeah, I was highly paid. I feel no such obligation at the card shop and while I like the money, I don't need the money. When my financial advisor ran the numbers and laid out my retirement, he didn't even take my current salary into account. 

I find myself fantasizing about quitting, about using that time to volunteer on upcoming political campaigns and the food pantry. Maybe after two years it's time to retire again and let a new chapter of my life begin.

But maybe I'm in a mood. I don't want to walk away from something I have enjoyed – something that has enriched my life by teaching me new things – on a whim. On the other hand, I don't want to stay too long at the fair.  

Here we are at Christmas. Rumor has it corporate may be making changes to our little shop before summertime. Maybe the decision will be made for me. 

I'm going to monitor my mood. I'm going to discuss it with my shrink. I'm going to pray on it. I don't want to pull the trigger too soon and regret quitting. On the other hand, I don't want to waste my life dreading a job that really – in the scheme of things – is not worth the agita.

 

  

Photo by Siora on Unsplash 

 

Use it. That's what it's there for.

I keep my money in different "funds," all within my savings account. Every month I earmark money for the dentist, for insurance, for vet bills, etc. Then I don't touch it until it's needed for that purpose. Since I am the keeper of both the funds and the calculator, I can move the money back and forth if I need to. (That's how my kitchen remodeling fund became my Paul McCartney concert ticket.)

When my friend Henry had his accident back in 2018, I began a "fund" for him. $15/week went into it. I knew how he and his husband Reg struggled financially in the best of times, and Henry's medical bills were an additional, almost unbearable burden. I used the money from this fund to help Henry with "extras," especially at Christmastime. I sent postage stamps, so Henry could afford to send the holiday cards he lovingly created. When I visited them for the holidays, I took Henry shopping so he could have something for Reg under the tree. Their dogs received a Chewy delivery or two. Lots of little things, paid for out of this "fund" so my own budget felt no strain.  

Henry's been gone a year, but I've kept the fund up, just changing the heading in my spiral notebook from "Henry" to "Friends." It's up to $880. 

No, make that $780.

I just sent Joanna a Target gift card with $100 on it. 

When she paid for my birthday lunch on 11/22, she jokingly expressed relief that there was still credit available on her Visa card. I was surprised – she chose the restaurant (the iconic Walnut Room) and as soon as we sat down she asked what alcoholic beverages we were going to toast with. She told the waiter that "of course" we were having Frango Mint cheesecake for dessert. We could have done the Walnut Room for less, or we could have dined at a more affordable restaurant. But this is what Joanna chose ... for me. Because she knows how hard my birthday is without my friends Henry and John. She wanted to make my birthday perfect and it was.

Joanna is 70. Her business is struggling and she has no retirement savings. She is very matter-of-fact about her "life on the edge." Of course, Joanna is matter-of-fact about big things. The woman is conversational about losing everything in Katrina! Two divorces. The slow, painful cancer death of her older brother. Her lover's dementia. Things that would have knocked other women on their asses, Joanna absorbs and then gets on with life. As was said of that other formidable daughter of the South, Scarlett O'Hara, Joanna "takes her fences cleanly, like a good hunter." She doesn't falter or show fear, she just goes ahead with no fanfare.

I admire her. I appreciate her.

So I sent her $100. It will be enough to give her a little wiggle room, but not enough to cause her embarrassment. After all, we don't exchange Christmas gifts and she hasn't asked for my help, making her dignity is a consideration.  

Perhaps she will use it as Henry would – to buy a gift she couldn't otherwise afford. Or maybe she'll spend it as I would – to pick up stuff for my pantry. 

It won't have any long-term impact on Joanna's finances, but it will make next week easier.

I happen to be reading Bruce Springsteen's memoir as I post this and think of him exhorting "Rosalita" – Use it, Rosie! That's what it's there for! 

I heard you, Boss. I used the "Friends" money. That's what it's there for.

 

PS Henry would approve. He was the most loving person I ever met. I like that I was able to spend what was originally "his" money this way.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Thank You Girl (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Who were you talking to the last time you said, "thank you?" I worked retail on Black Friday, so I thanked many a customer.

2) Paul McCartney recalls that "Thank You Girl" was inspired by all the female fans who had written them fan letters, pledging undying love. Have you ever written a fan letter? If yes, did you receive a response? Danny O'Shea played for the Chicago Black Hawks when I was in 8th grade. I loved him madly and was devastated when he was traded to the St. Louis Blues. The moment I heard, I wrote him a farewell letter. Imagine my surprise when I got a reply! On a postcard from a St. Louis hotel, which is where the Blues put him up temporarily. "Your kindness will not be forgotten. Danny O'Shea." I remember exactly what it said because I kept it tucked in my bedroom mirror for years.

3) Recording engineer Geoff Emerick remembered that John Lennon was easily winded while recording this song. John had a bad cold and went back to bed when they were done for the day. We're in cold/flu season right now. How are you feeling? So far, no complaints. I'm up on my vaccinations, so fingers crossed.

4) "Thank You Girl" is this week's song because November 27 was Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year? That I have enough. Three women in my circle are struggling financially and I can see firsthand that being over 60 and broke is stressful. I am not a wealthy woman – would I be working at a card shop for $16/hour if I was? – but when something comes up I can pay for it. I had to use funds earmarked for my kitchen remodel to see Sir Paul last week. That was unexpected and my condo will have to remain a hovel a bit longer. But I can afford Christmas in Michigan with my niece's family and the TCM Film Festival in Hollywood this spring. I don't panic when I have to make a dental appointment for myself or a vet appointment for one of my cats. While much of this is the result of my own hard work, I am not ignoring the role luck plays and I am thankful I'm getting by while others aren't.

5) While the big meal is referred to as Thanksgiving dinner, most Americans enjoy it earlier than they usually serve dinner. 3:00 PM is the most popular time for the holiday feast. When did you have dinner on Thursday? 5:00 PM

6) Cranberry sauce has been a Thanksgiving staple since the late 1800s. Was it on your menu this year? Yes. In fact, here was our entire menu:

• Butternut Squash Soup with Spiced Pumpkin Seeds and Sour Cream
• Slow-Roasted Turkey with Pan Gravy
• Traditional Stuffing
• Roasted and Glazed Green Beans & Carrots
• Mary's Potatoes
• Cranberry Sauce
• Eli's Pumpkin Praline Cheesecake (I ate too much and brought this home. It's in my refrigerator right now.)

7) The Thanksgiving Turducken is said to have originated in New Orleans. Chef Paul Prudhomme is often cited as the first to stuff a deboned chicken into a deboned duck into a deboned turkey. Prudhomme's recipe has more than 85 individual steps and takes a full day to prepare. Did you face any challenges while cooking your Thursday dinner? No. Because I didn't cook. We went to Cooper's Hawk Winery again this year.

8) Leftovers are popular after Thanksgiving, especially turkey sandwiches. Some cooks recommend serving cold, sliced turkey on wheat bread, but white bread, pitas and flatbread are also popular. When you head into the kitchen to make a sandwich, what's your go-to bread? Wheat, I suppose. I'm not big on making sandwiches. Usually when I reach for bread it is to mop up the last bit of marinara sauce.

9) The day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday, the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season and sales. Black Friday got its name in Philadelphia back in the 1950s to describe the traffic clogging both highways and side streets as consumers raced out in search of bargains. When is the last time you were stuck in traffic? I expect to be stuck in traffic this afternoon, as we are in the midst of the first big snow of the season.

 

 

 

Pinched nerve and brain fart

I woke up Tuesday morning unable to move my left arm without great difficulty. This happened once before, at the end of 2024, so while I hurt I wasn't frightened. I knew it was a pinched nerve in my neck. Painful but not dangerous. As luck would have it, I already had an chiropractor appointment scheduled for today – Friday, three days later. Since this wasn't an emergency, I could see no reason to move the appointment up. 

I am an idiot. 

For three days I was uncomfortable. If I was still, my arm was fine. But I couldn't raise it without pain. Everything – showering, grocery shopping, feeding the cats, laundry – was arduous. I had a hard time finding a position to sleep comfortably. The nerve was not responding to OTC pain killers. So I was sleep deprived and hurt.

And from Monday morning to Tuesday afternoon we were without hot water, so there's that. 

To say I was not at my best would be an understatement. 

Chronic pain and lack of sleep made me stupid. Yesterday, instead of taking money out of my high-yield savings account and depositing it into my checking account, I did it the other way around. I was not paying attention as I clicked. I fucked up.

This morning I got an alert from bank that my checking account was overdrawn. I was terrified, afraid I'd been hacked. No, I just made a stupid, stupid mistake. (AGAIN!) After spending time on the phone with both banks, I finally got it ironed out and hopefully, by end of business Monday, all my funds will be where I want them.

I realize that working decades for big companies, I've been infantilized. Funds just appeared in my checking account twice/month. Left to my own devices, I mess up.

Just as I thought my self loathing had reached a fever pitch, I dialed it up to 11. I went to my chiropractor and she felt where my neck meets my shoulder. 

"Of course you hurt!" she said. I got on the table and she twisted, pressed and popped and I was fine. No pain, full range of motion restored.

"You should have called me," she said. Duh, Gal. I went through 3 days of pain for no good reason. Really, she remedied the problem in minutes! 

I'm such an ass.

Here's to an uneventful, enjoyable weekend. I need it!

 

Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash 

August Happiness Challenge – Day 22

My 2025 Happiness Icon

Today's happiness: My Chief Global Strategist. I had my regularly scheduled check in with my "wealth manager."* It was short (30 minutes) and straightforward, as everything is going as expected – at least as well as we can anticipate anything in Trump's chaotic world. Who knows what he'll do that might rock the markets, just to distract conversation from The Big Beautiful Bill and, of course, Epstein? So, while I was happy to hear where my retirement funds are invested (tech, energy, financial services), I was eager to ask how these decisions are made.

 

Seems that my local guy has two weekly calls. The first is with his supervisor, right here in Chicagoland, who oversees the portfolios like mine. The second is a Zoom call with the bank's Chief Global Strategist. He is legitimately one of nation's premier investment strategists. I saw him on CNBC not that long ago, weighing in Jay Powell's decision to keep interest rates where they are. 

 

Look at me, having a top flight financial team! 

 

I am so glad I got professional help managing my portfolio. Nobody is expert at everything, and I admit I don't know much about investing. I worry so much less now, and less worry makes me happy. 

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 *That still cracks me up. If I were a wealthy woman, would I be working at a card shop for $16/hour?

 

Photo by Ayşegül Baykal on Unsplash