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November Challenge: Your family
In 2010, my oldest friend and her daughter moved to California to be with her blood relatives -- her cousin Sharon, Sharon's two sons, and their kids. The move has been a disaster. Her physical health has deteriorated, her emotions ping pong, she's lost every job she had out there and is now retired with no money. Zip zilch. She's been served with an eviction notice and has to be out of her rental on December 1.
Who is she moving in with? Her daughter is now 27 and living with her boyfriend, but "can't" take Mom in. Her cousin Sharon, now a widow, wants to see what it's like to live alone. Sharon's sons won't even help my friend with the move, so you know they're not letting her stay with them. My friend's son, now 37 and living with his wife in Philadelphia, echoes his sister and says he "can't" help his mother. So on December 1 she begins renting a room with the only friend she's made out there. The only nearby friend she has after 14 years. And their relationship is tumultuous, since she fancies herself in love with him and stirs up unnecessary drama because the feelings aren't reciprocated. This living arrangement is not tenable long term and I worry about her constantly.
Why am I writing all this here in response to this question?
Because you can't always count on family.
If I found my independence slipping away -- and who knows? I might -- I don't think I would hit bottom as my friend has. I mean, I own this condo and could always sell it I had to. But I know I could count on my niece to kick in at least some cash and my nephew -- who still lives in his old bedroom at his parents' house -- would be there for the move. But mostly I would look to my friends.
Before I found myself on the verge of homelessness, I'd consult with Kathleen, Nancy, Joanna* and Elaine. I'd call on my former art director, too. While I miss the love and support of my late friends John and Henry more than I can say, I do still have good girlfriends to lean on. Btw, I met Joanna and Elaine in 2013 and reconnected with Nancy in 2016. All people who became fixtures in my life after my oldest friends moved. I realize how lucky I am. I really don't have a hard time making friends. Which is the point of this post ...
My friends are my family.
You are blessed indeed. Friends can be far more loyal than family sometimes. Have a good week.
ReplyDeleteMy friends are far more family to me than my family, especially right now. Good post.
ReplyDelete