Happy Birthday to Me -- Part 9

I believe this is the final salvo in The War to Preserve My Birthday. (If Fox can have a War on Christmas ...)

Dinner with my dear old friend Kathleen at a local eatery that served up the most awesome trout dinner. She filled me in on her fabulous kids and her interesting husband and her rather disappointing job. She looks wonderful and sounds, for the most part, happy if overworked. And she got me shea butter soap for my dry skin and a vintage (1976) LIFE magazine about the American woman. Thoughtful gifts, good grub and fun conversation. YES!

Holidailies -- Day 10

Today's prompt: Tell us about a holiday food tradition you just can't stand.

When I was a kid, Johnny Carson said this every year from behind The Tonight Show desk, "The worst gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." I also don't like its appearance. It looks fusty and the fruits seem to take on a strange color. And then there's the idea of consuming citrus peel. 

 

No, I don't care for it. Not at all.

Holidailies -- Day 9

Today's prompt: Which currently popular meme/trend do you just not get?

"The War on Christmas." It's stupid. Because there is no war on Christmas. Thank you.

A weekend of big emotions

This weekend marks the anniversary of both my mother's birth and John Lennon's murder. Tomorrow, my mom's house will be sold at a foreclosure auction.

I remain very sad and angry that John was murdered by a nut who got his hands on a handgun. In New York. When rock scholars point out that if John had stayed in London he might be alive today, I can only shake my head in sorrow and agree with them.

How my mom loved that stupid suburban ranch house! I think she'd be disappointed and embarrassed (my mom was always concerned with what "they" thought of her) that it's being sold at auction. And yet, she entered into the reverse mortgage knowing this was the likely outcome. I can't let myself feel guilty about the way this worked out. That would be infantalizing both of my parents. My dad was a terrible businessman and, true 1950s housewife she was, my mom blindly trusted his judgement. When he died, he left her nothing but debts. I took care of my mother's medical bills and insurance in life and her funeral in death. I can't let myself feel bad for the consequences of decisions they made as clear-eyed (but naive) adults.

And yet, with all this swirling around me, I'm not unhappy today. It's Christmastime, after all! And besides, I'm watching all the celebrations of Nelson Mandela's life. One child brought a picture he'd drawn for "Father." There seems to be easily as much dancing and singing as there are tears.

And that's how I feel about my mom right now. She's in Heaven, no longer besieged with worry about debt or what "they" think. That's something to celebrate!

Besides, like Mandela, my mother lived her entire life and died of natural causes. That's why I'm still pissed about John. Because while statistics tell us that gun violence in Chicago is down this year, it's still too prevalent, too ugly and too easily preventable.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

01. What is something that you have lost recently?: A brand new pair of earrings I bought myself! I'm just sick about it. They were less than $20, but still ... I told her at the register that I didn't need a bag, that I could put them with everything else I had purchased that day. And I think I accidentally threw them out. Dumb Gal!

02. Do you own any self-help books?: Sure.

03. Do you live near the sea or ocean?: Nope

04. Have you ever spent ages making/writing something on your computer when it suddenly crashed and you lost it all?: Nope. But that reminds me, I ought to back up to my thumb drive.

05. Do you enjoy food shopping?: Nope

06. What are you having for lunch?: I was thinking I might have a hotdog. I haven't had one in ages.

07. Are you one of those people who can sleep through anything?: Yes

08. Do you like love letters?: Of course.

09. Have you ever received or written one?: Not in a long time.

10. How far does your nearest relative live?: Approx. 20 miles

11. Do you like velvet?:  I have no strong feelings one way or the other

12. What kind of art do you like?: I suppose it's called "neo-expressionism." My favorite artist is Thomas McKnight. I first discovered him almost 20 years ago, when he was commissioned to do a couple of the Clinton's official White House Christmas cards. It's representative of my favorite works of his -- I love how he uses the view through the windows to help set the scene, and the little details he includes.

13. If you went to London, where would you go first?:  My hotel room. No, really. After a long flight, I'd have to decompress for a while before I could enjoy the city. I don't fly well.

14. If you had to pick one friend who is the most interesting, who would you pick?: I suppose John. He has tremendous personal charisma, and I'm not even sure he realizes it.

15. Can you think of the meanest thing you have ever done/said to someone?: Yes. I said something unforgivably cruel to a lover while we were breaking up. I am not proud of this, especially since he is a good man and deserved better.

16. What magazines do you read?: People and Entertainment Weekly and Allure and Glamour. And I receive O and Time. I just don't read them as often as I intend to.


17. What/who has been on your mind today?: Laundry. One of our dryers downstairs is broken. I'm wondering if it isn't worth it to just bite the bullet and haul my sorry fat ass through the cold to the laundromat and just get it all done and out of the way at once.

18. Would you be interested in ghost-hunting?: Nope.

Awesome, isn't he?

I made this rather lop-sided gentlemen with my own two hands!

Our classic film club screened Christmas in Connecticut, a 1945 screwball comedy starring Barbara Stanwyck as a magazine writer whose columns center around making a gracious home. (Think Martha Stewart.)

Beforehand, our host/moderator got us into the spirit by having us make these ornaments. It was a gas to sit there with a group of adults, doing a craft. I was touched by the effort he put into it and enjoyed myself, the camaraderie and the movie.

Holidailies -- Day 8

Today's prompt: What holiday tradition do you wish would just go away?

The company Christmas party. The company I work for goes all out -- closing the office for a half day, picking up the bill for a catered meal at a posh eatery, giving out a handful of expensive door prizes, serving up enough free booze to launch a dozen illicit coatroom affairs …

Meanwhile, we have only had two raises in the last 9 years. During that same time, we have had to sublet two floors of this office building and endured a succession of layoffs.


I'm not going. And I wish they'd banish the whole thing.

I'm not against celebrating the holidays in the workplace. I have decorated my office, I have cards and little ornaments for each of my coworkers, and am handling the collection for a special gift for our team admin.

Imagine all the money we would save if we just gave each employee one of those little half-turkeys that serves 4! Or the tax write-off if we gave all that money spent on the party to charity! They could let the employees suggest which worthy cause to support.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Stand by Me

1) "Stand by Me" is one of the songs John Lennon did at his last public performance back in 1975. First recorded by Ben E. King, "Stand by Me" was also covered by Mickey Gilley and Otis Redding, among others. Can you think of another song that has been recorded and then re-recorded by someone else? One of my favorite songs -- this time of year or all year around -- is James Taylor's cover of Joni Mitchell's "River."

2) The lyrics say, "Whenever you're in trouble, you can stand by me." Tell us about someone you know you can count on. I'm really blessed in this regard. Where I turn just depends on the trouble I find myself in.
 
3) While "Stand by Me" was solo Lennon, John is best known as one of the Beatles. Which group do you listen to more often -- The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? Who doesn't love the Lads from Liverpool? I remember an incident a few years ago where I was shopping, wearing a Paul McCartney t-shirt. The guy who bagged groceries was an adult with learning disabilities, usually shy and reluctant to make eye contact. When he saw my shirt he started talking a blue streak, about how when he babysits his little nephew they sing Beatle songs together. I thought it must be wonderful to be one of the Beatles and to have had such a happy and pervasive impact on the world.

4) Lennon liked to tell how, when he and Paul McCartney were teens, Paul's father used to discourage friendship between the boys. Paul ignored his dad's advice and the result is the most successful songwriting partnership of the 20th century. Tell us about a piece of advice you're glad you ignored. When I was in my late teens, a friend tried to convince me that psychedelic mushrooms would make me a better writer.
 

5) John loved cats. When he was a teenager, he first met his favorite, a stray he named Tich, in the snow and gave the cat a safe, lifelong home. John was very proud that Tich lived to be 20 years old. Tell us about a pet who has a place in your heart. Let me tell you about my diva, my girly-girl Charlotte. She is my feline major domo. It is obvious that she thinks we're equals who run this household together. She's emphatic about her likes and dislikes. Likes: treats, curling up in the armoire, observing closely while I put on my makeup or do housework. Dislikes: being picked up, going to the vet, and my other cat, Joey. She's about 16 years old now, and losing weight. It could the new diet she's on or maybe it's a thyroid problem (not at all unusual in senior kitties). We'll have to go to the dreaded vet after the holidays, no matter how strenuously she objects.

6) John unsuccessfully tried hypnosis in his quest to stop smoking. Have you ever been hypnotized? Nope

7) John has been inducted into both the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame. What Hall of Fame would like to see yourself in? If the Baseball Hall of Fame had a wing for fans, I deserve to be in it. I love my Cubs, no matter what!

8) John had a passion for slot cars and raced them on an elaborate track in his game room. What games or toys do you still enjoy? I like ferris wheels.

9) John wrote about his jealous streak. What personality trait of yours do you wish you could change? My laziness!

Holidailies -- Day 7

Today's prompt: Write a letter to Santa.

Dear Mr. Claus,

I know you're really busy, so I'll just topline my goodness in 2013 in one word -- PATIENCE. You know I'm not a patient girl, Santa. And yet I have really upped my game and worked on it when dealing with friends (both Best and Oldest Friends) and family (my niece) and pets (Reynaldo!). I'm pleased to report all relationships seem more solid because of the result of my efforts.

But then you know that, because you see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake and know if I've been bad or good. So let's get to the good stuff.

I want a gift card, Santa. As rich as you can make it. From The Home Depot. I want to do a lot of work on my condo in 2014 and, while Cute Handyman only accepts cash as payment, he can use this to pick up the tiles and paint and new sink and new medicine chest I'm dreaming of.

Since you have so many stops to make on Christmas Eve, feel free to just slip it under the door. We don't have to stand on ceremony. You and I go waaaaaay back, after all.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Holidailies -- Day 6

Today's prompt: What is the best gift you have ever given?

I've written about this before, so forgive me the repetition. But it remains my favorite gift-giving memory ...

When my niece was six, she was obsessed with the animated Anastasia. She could recite dialog and acted out scenes. She even had a dream in which she walked into an Anastasia store where she could purchase everything Anastasia for $100, and she had exactly $100 in her purse. I went on eBay and purchased Anastasia memorabilia from all over the world (my favorite: plastic Anastasia medallions that had been packaged in cereal boxes in Ireland to promote the home video release in that country). I spread them out all over my apartment and put a sign on the front door: Anastasia Store -- Everything $100. The look on her face when she came in the door, the way she clasped her hands together under her chin and looked around the room in wonderment at the Anastasia dolls and books and puzzles and pillowcase, etc. ... I'll never forget it. How often in life do you get to make someone's dream come true?

She's 21 now. I'm glad that she's happy at school and so in love with her fella. But sometimes I miss the little girl who laced her fingers under her chin when she was happy.

Happy Birthday to Me -- Part 8

I've worked til 7:00 or 8:00 every night, doing my own work and putting out fires. While I am stimulated and happy by my own projects, playing firegirl has been frustrating.

Thursday started out pretty crappy. After a drought, I'm drowning in work. My account team is more obstructive than helpful. Input that we received Wednesday morning was just given to me to implement Thursday at 5:30! And that's just the easiest incident to explain, and the final insult of a long week.

Which is why I'm glad my former boss/theater buddy Barb and I went out to celebrate my birthday last night. I drank too much, we both bitched about work, and I was amused to see how worked up she was by Obamacare. (She's not amused, though. She's very, very angry about the botched implementation -- as we all are -- but she's also upset about the inept construction of the law itself.) Barb is not usually concerned with politics, while I live and breathe it, so listening to her take was interesting. It also led me to conclude that the President is in deeper shit than I thought he was.

She gave me a set of iron kitty bookends. Beautiful and useful … and the heaviest gift I have received in quite some time. And I have leftover fettucine in my refrigerator!

Holidailies -- Day 5

Today's prompt: What is the best gift you ever received?

It was the Christmas I was four years old. I think part of the reason why the memory is so dear is that I was such a believer. I first saw Blaze on TV, then in the Sears Wish Book. I saw him in the toy department at Sears -- up high so kids couldn't climb on him -- but I stood there and talked to him and told him I would ask Santa to bring him to me. And why wouldn't Santa? I'd been good.

I hoped and prayed, and then ... on Christmas morning ... I walked into the living room and there he was, next to the tree …

Blaze was no mere "rocking horse." He not only rocked forward and back, I could get him to trot by bouncing up and down in the saddle. Like other Mattel toys of the day, he "talked" (neighed and whinnied) when you pulled the "magic ring."

Holidailies -- Day 4

Today's prompt: What is your favorite holiday tradition?

I have a motley collection of 4 cardboard holiday figures -- the kind schoolteachers used to hang in the classroom -- that I have been displaying about my office(s) for decades. To give you an idea of their vintage, I bought them at a Woolworth's Store that closed its doors back in 1987.

It would be impossible to tabulate how many different offices they have adorned, but they followed me through six different companies.

They are Santa, the Little Drummer Teddy Bear, a Snowman and (my favorite) a terrier wearing a red plaid hat and matching scarf. They cost me less than 50¢ ea. at the time, and I love them dearly and am happy to see them. 

Kwitcher Bitchin'!

I am so sick of hearing about "The War on Christmas." Just because I believe in the separation of Church and State and respect that my Jewish friends are celebrating this season, too, doesn't mean I don't have Christ in my heart. When I say "Happy Holidays," all it means is that I hope your holidays are happy.

And I am so sick of hearing about how "commercial Christmas has become." Has become? Really? Miracle on 34th Street revolved around this very issue and it was made back in 1947. This is not news.

I guess I'm upset because so many of the people I hear complaining don't walk it like they talk (bitch) it. Beyond finding fault, these people are doing precious little to preserve and advance the Christmas spirit.

Well, today is GIVING TUESDAY. This movement encompasses all 50 states and its dedicated to celebrating "the season of giving." Remind the sanctimonious Grinches in your life (I can't be the only one who encounters them!) that, like Black Friday and Small Business Saturday, this day is set aside to kick off the holiday season. Suggest they make an appointment at the blood bank, or toss some coins into the Salvation Army kettle, or go to Walgreens and buy a toy and drop it in the Toys for Tots box on the way out, or if they're going to Mickey D's for lunch, they can stuff a dollar in the Ronald McDonald House collection box on the counter ... There are so many ways to give!

Spread the word! Let's turn the grumping into giving!

PS This is my 5,300th post. And it's a rant. How fitting is that!

Holidailies -- Day 3

Today's prompt: Share your favorite holiday recipe. Where / when did you first try it?

HA! This is criminally easy because I only have two recipes! There's this one and Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies. I'm featuring this one because, while every batch of cookies always tasted good, it was rather hard for me to not scorch the bottoms. Whereas this Apple Banana Cake comes out right every time.


Oh yeah, where/when did I first try it? About a decade ago, when Martha Stewart was having her legal problems. I admired her for facing her fate like a brave soldier and supported her by going to KMart and buying her domestic stuffies things. Then I had to find an easy recipe so I could put the stuff to work. Voila!

Wet Ingredients
4 cups of peeled cored and grated apples (generous)
2 mashed bananas
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs
1/2 cup of chopped walnuts or 1/2 cup pecans (optional)

Dry Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine all the wet ingredients in large bowl and mix well.
Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl and mix well.
Add dry to wet ingredients and mix thoroughly.
Pour into an UNgreased 9"x13" pan.
Bake for 1 hour

Last time I made this recipe, it was cupcakes and I topped each with a dollop of French Vanilla frosting.

 

These are the good old days

I wasn't able to get to the health club over lunch yesterday because I had three (count 'em, 3!) live and active projects going on at once! Today another one kicks off. I'll probably be so busy that I have to take some work off my plate and put it back on my boss'.

It's like this because, year-end, clients want to spend their allotments so their budgets won't be cut next year. So I know this isn't necessarily an indication that the Recession is over in my industry.

But it's so nice to be able to put one project down and know there's another one waiting my attention.

Holidailies -- Day 2

Today's prompt: What is your favorite holiday song (and why)?

"Sleigh Ride" by Andy Williams. It was the first cut on my old Andy Williams Christmas LP, the first holiday record all my own. So when the needle dropped on Andy singing "Sleigh Ride," my Christmas season had begun. And when I hear Andy on my iPod, I smile.

I also enjoy this rather trippy clip from one of Andy's iconic specials. I always wanted to spend Christmas with this family.

Holidailies -- Day 1

Today's prompt: Introduce Yourself

I AM (in alphabetical order)

an American
a Beatle fan
a cat lady
a Cub fan
a copywriter
a Democrat
easily distracted
a friend
sentimental and
very messy

Sunday Stealing

To play along, click here.


What would you totally eat right now?:  Eggs. I want eggs.

Do you always wear a certain piece of jewelry?:  I always wear a ring on my left hand. I need it in order to tell my left from my right. I always feel for it when I'm giving directions.

What kind of jeans do you like?:  Old Navy Flirt. As does everyone else in America, I guess, as I couldn't find any at the store on Black Friday.

What's something on your want list?: I'd love an Ulta giftcard. A store finally opened nearby and I can see myself wandering the aisles, guilt free, armed with my giftcard.

Is animal print tacky?:  I can hear WNTW's Clinton Kelly telling me I look like a pelt every time I wear my one and only leopard print cardigan. And yet I like it anyway.

Give me a good quote that you like.:  "You cannot change the winds, but you can adjust the sails." Elizabeth Edwards

Do you bite your nails?:  When I'm bored

What kind of smells do you like?:  Spicy. Cinammon, vanilla spice, etc.

Do you wear perfume or cologne?:  Cologne

What do you think is overrated?:  The outrage over stores being open on Thanksgiving. No one complains about the thousands upon thousands of low-paid workers who work every year at NFL stadiums on holidays -- parking cars, selling us beer, hawking foam fingers, cleaning the restrooms, etc. -- instead of being with their families. And it's every bit about the money for the NFL as it is the stores. The networks charge advertisers dearly for time on holiday games.

Next movie you want to see?:  All Is Lost or Anchorman 2, whichever makes it to my local theater first.

Would you change your eye color if you could?:  I can, and so can you. Colored contact lenses. I tried blue ones once for a week while waiting for my prescription to come in and I didn't like it. I'm green eyed.

And what are your goals for the remainder of this year?:  To savor the holiday season. It's less than a month long.

When is the last time you were at the hospital?  Almost a year ago. I took a tumble on some slick pavement, landed hard and was worried about a concussion so I went and got a CT scan. Turns out I was fine, but I'm not sorry I went. Head injuries are nothing to trifle with.

Who introduced you to your current significant other? If you’re single, who introduced you to your last ex? Human resources, I suppose. There was an office shortage at the agency we worked at and we ended up as roommates. It was fun, although dallying with a coworker I shared space with was not the smartest thing I've ever done.

November Challenge

Day 30 -- One thing you're excited for

I actually got to write today! It was the first time in ages that I have managed to move my Nanowrimo story along. I have really enjoyed it.

I have been relieved to be busy at work and happy to be busy with friends. But I like writing for myself and found today satisfying.

His name is "Carmichal"

The local childrens' home has a holiday tree at Whole Foods. Each heartshaped ornament includes details about a neighborhood kid who is either a ward of the home or lives below the poverty level. Each year I take an ornament and play Santa.

Last year I bought a jacket for "Andrea." In 2011, I got a handheld baseball game for "Sebastian." This year I shopped for "Carmichal." He is just 7 and wants "action figures."


That's a pretty broad category! So I spread the giftgiving out over several heroes. I chose someone from Lord of the Rings (Thorin) and the always-popular Iron Man. To make the gift bag look more full, and because books are always good, I added a Marvel Comics reader/sticker book.

Very little that I do between now and the end of the year will make me as happy as thinking about Carmichal's face at the Christmas party when Santa gives him a red bag of action figures.

PS These are not their real names. The home gives them pseudonyms because they live right here in town and it would hurt their feelings to find their ornament is the one that was passed over and left on the tree.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Back to Black

1) Black is this week's signature color because Friday, November 29, was "Black Friday," when retailers cut their prices and consumers flock to the stores. Did you score any "Black Friday" bargains? Well, not a bargain exactly. Our local, independently owned bookstore donated 10% of all of today's sales to the local homeless shelter. Naturally, I had to go out and get behind that!

 
2) Legend has it that Black Friday began as a neighborhood phenomenon among storeowners in Philadelphia back in the early 1960s. What else comes to mind when you think of Philly? Cream cheese

3) Feasting and football are also popular Thanksgiving weekend pastimes. Do your Thursday-Sunday plans include pigging out or watching a game? Nope

4) At Thanksgiving dinners, Crazy Sam's homemade gravy is always a hit. (Probably because she's so generous with the cognac, which gives the gravy a nutty taste.) Do you have a signature dish? I'm sorry but I'm not much of a cook.

5) Among the biggest the Black Friday advertisers are Target, Kohl's, Macy's and

Best Buy. If you could have a $100 gift card to any one of those stores, which would you choose? Macy's. And I think I would use it for some more sweaters. I like their Charter Club sweater collection.

6) You're in a public restroom that offers both paper towels and a hot air hand dryer. Which one do you choose? Paper towels. My hands just never feel dry otherwise.
 
7) While Back to Black is the best-selling Amy Winehouse CD, her first was called Frank, named for her hero, Frank Sinatra. Tell us about someone you inspires you. I was just thinking about this! (See the post below) Streisand.

8) Do you consider yourself a pessimist or an optimist? Optimist

9) Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone (a verbal conversation -- not an exchange of texts)? My oldest friend called me just to blab yesterday.

We're the luckiest people in the world

Those of us who have seen Streisand live, of course.

I'm watching the PBS/Great Performances telecast of her Back to Brooklyn concert. I saw her a year ago and I still think about it. She is an inspiration: 71 and still uncompromising and original.

As I look at that unforgettable profile, as I hear that crystalline voice, I think, "You go, girl." Here in Chicago, I saw more than a couple moms guiding little girls (10 or under) to their concert seats. She means so much to so many of us, showing us that there isn't only one way to be a successful woman. I'm glad that Babs hit the road so that she could experience that phenomenon for herself. She deserves to know.

November Challenge

Day 28 -- Somewhere I'd like to move to or visit

I feel more at home on the eastern side of the country than I do on the west. If I had unlimited time off and endless funds,* I'd be very happy getting my geek on by bouncing from Colonial Williamsburg to Boston to Washington, DC.

*and I don't

 

Day 29 -- Five weird things I like

Behold my guilty pleasures:

 

1) Jack Webb, Harry Morgan and Dragnet; 2) Arby's and Wendy's and Burger King and McDonald's; 3) Miller Lite; 4) court shows like People's Court and Judge Judy; 5) 1970s bubblegum music.

Who are these people?

I don't know about you, but this illustration looks nothing like any Thanksgiving celebration I can recall.

At my family gatherings, guilt was always the main dish. Ladles of tension were always poured over the guilt. And I could count on a soupçon of passive aggression. (That's because, to be honest, I often supplied it.)


I had a lovely time last night with my friend, John (battling a very bad cold) and his friends Gregory and Sebastian. We laughed a great deal, ate a lovely buffet, people-watched, and enjoyed the kind of community the day is supposed to be about.

We all fussed over John's cold. Gregory introduced us to affordable, safe travel with his tales of Megabus. Sebastian is preparing to spend this Christmas -- the first one that doesn't find him scheduled to work at a hospital and, unfortunately, without his longtime lover -- solo in Hawaii. I found talking to him enormously touching. He's always wanted to see Hawaii, he needs time to reflect on his new job and new life alone, and he needs time to mourn his loss. I think he's very brave.

My heart was very light last night as I got on the train and headed home. I was with people who WANTED to be with me, who weren't there out of obligation. They like me and they get me. Unfortunately, these three men are not my family.

But then again, last night they were.

I miss my mom. I miss my uncle. But I don't miss the guilt and tension of our family Thanksgivings. I am sad that I am 56 and will never enjoy the Norman Rockwell ideal I was promised.

I did enjoy last night. As we parted, Gregory said, "I like this tradition. Let's do it next year." Sebastian worried about my safety on the train home. John, of course, was our gracious hub. I felt wrapped in harmony and affection. It's more productive to be grateful for what I do have than to mourn what I never had.