Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Dancing...Share your favorite dance scenes from the movies, linking back here at The Bumbles. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

Summer Stock. "Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy!" My favorite Garland musical number of all time. Perhaps even my favorite dance number of all time.

The Sound of Music. I don't remember the name of the folk dance that Maria is teaching the children, but Captain Von Trapp offers to be her partner and it's evident to all of us, even the Baroness (boo! hiss!), that a certain novice was never going to become a nun.

The Way We Were. It's the Big College Dance. Gorgeous, letterman Hubbell crosses the dance floor, and the social divide, to cut in on frumpy, unpopular Katie and her gawky date.* It's impossibly romantic. Perhaps because Streisand finally found a partner we believe she could and would let lead.

*James Woods in his movie debut.

She surprised me

My niece is completing her junior year in high school and she has a hard earned reputation as a hard worker. But I had no idea what a tough cookie she could be!

When I hired her to help me organize my livingroom, we agreed at a fee of $10/hour for 3 hours. In addition to helping me sort and file the paperwork that has taken over the house, I tasked her with keeping me focused. No matter what I told her, or how much I whined, I told her it was her job to remind me, "I need the money and you need organization."

I had no idea how seriously she would take it! Picking up an empty envelope, she asked me why I still had it. I pointed out to her that I needed it for the return address. "Get your address book and write it in there. I'll wait." She wasn't kidding. She handled me the same way when it came to an offer from Comcast I was "gonna" respond to. "Do it now, sign up now," she said, reasoning that then I could get rid of the flyer. Ouch! Over and over again, she challenged me and kicked my butt. We went from the paperwork to the books I've read to the mess that obscured my kitchen counters.

She reminded me of that ferocious little terrier, taking on the bigger dog.

I ended up with a big bag of paper in the recycle bin, two bags and a box for Goodwill, and so much more carpet than I remembered! I'm inspired to keep with the decluttering.

Interesting, not threatening

Christopher Hitchens is on CSpan, being interviewed by Salmon Rushdie, and he is talking about "the equal time demand" in schools receiving tax dollars, describing it as alternating "teaching science" with "teaching rubbish." He wonders why it can't be spun differently -- if churches want to retain their tax-free status, shouldn't they be required to teach Darwinism as well as creationism?

While I, unlike Hitchens, believe in God and Jesus completely, I find his conversation with Rushdie fascinating. I enjoy that in this country, we are free to believe as we wish, even if our beliefs don't fall within Judeo-Christian guidelines, we are free to express them. Listening to this is liberating and opening my mind to new ideas.

This introduction to new ideas, this explanation of how atheists and agnostics think -- and why they think this way -- cannot threaten my faith in God and Jesus. My faith is as much a part of me as my bone marrow.

I wonder about people who are so easily offended that Rushdie and Hitchens bother them, or that they believe Rushdie and Hitchens should be demonized. Do they not trust their Lord, or is it their forefathers who gave us freedom of speech or religion that they are second guessing?

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Speed Dating Meme, Part 2

26. Have you ever been stung by a bee? Yes, and discovered I'm allergic. Hence the Epipen that's in my purse every day from April to October.

27. What's the sickest you've ever been? Probably the aforementioned bee sting, but since I was only a kid I didn't realize how potentially dangerous it was.

28. What's your favorite form of exercise? Toss up between stationery bike and swimming.

29. What's your favorite Cyndi Lauper song? Time After Time

30. What did you do for your 13th birthday? I don't recall.

31. Are you afraid of heights? Nope.

32. Have you ever taken dance lessons? I took ballet as a little girl. I was staggeringly bad at it.

33. What's your favorite newspaper? Chicago Tribune. It's the only paper left in town that covers the news in any depth.

34. What's your favorite Broadway / West End musical? My Fair Lady

35. What's the most memorable class you've ever taken? Psych 101, my introduction to the concept of intrinsic and extrinsic morality.

36. What's your favorite knock-knock joke? "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Repeat." "Repeat who?" "Who! Who!"

37. What's your least favorite commercial? The Panda Bears for Snapple Tea. There's something uncomfortable and creepy about them.

38. If you could go to Disney World with any celebrity alive today, who would it be? Bill Clinton. I think he'd be a riot to hang out with for a few hours. Plus, since he has Secret Service protection, we wouldn't have to wait in line -- not ever, not even at Space Mountain.

39. Do you prefer baths or showers? Most mornings I shower, but that's due to time. I really enjoy baths.

40. What's your favourite newspaper comic strip? I don't really have one.

41. What's your favorite breakfast food? Eggs. Scrambled, once over, poached ...

42. Who's your favarite game show host? Bob Barker. Please spay or neuter your pets.

43. If you could have a super power, what would it be? Flight.

44. Do you like guacamole? Nope.

45. Have you ever been in a food fight? Yes. One of the few things about high school I actually enjoyed.

46. Name five songs to which you know all the lyrics. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, She Bop, Time After Time, True Colors, and American Pie (I'm very proud of knowing all the lyrics to that one)

47. What's your favorite infomercial? Meaningful Beauty -- Cindy Crawford and that French doctor who can keep us young using melon juice.

48. What's the longest you've ever waited in line? Hours and hours at Disney World! Which is why next time I want to go with Bill Clinton.

49. What's on the cover of your address book or day planner? Plain brown leather.

50. Have you ever taken a picture in one of those little booths? Yes, at the mall. When we were kids, my mom would send me in with my sister.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Lies

1. When was the last time you lied and why? I'm sorry but I can't recall anything. Which means it couldn't have been a very big deal.

2. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, where would you go and who would you take? Los Angeles. I don't really want to move there, but my oldest friend is desperate to. So I'd move there, get her settled, and move back here, where I belong.

3. What was the last thought before falling asleep last night? That I'm not sure moving Sex and the City 2 out of eponymous city -- New York -- is a good idea. (I'd just been reading the Entertainment Weekly about the movie.)

4. What’s your favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex? Briefs. Dark-colored briefs. Yum.

5. If you didn't have to work, would you? If you work from home, are there days you’d rather be in the workplace? I probably would go back to work eventually. I heard an interview with a representative of the Illinois State Lottery, and she said most sudden millionaires do that, because all their friends and relatives have to work and they don't have anyone to play with.

6. What is a secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing? I can't think of anything that I wouldn't mind everyone knowing.

7. What’s a favorite movie that you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Young at Heart, with Doris Day and Frank Sinatra. Or just about any Doris Day musical. I can be such a trashy wench that loving Doris Day musicals doesn't fit my image, but there you go. Hey! Can this be my answer to #6, too?

8. What’s you favorite all time medical and why? Sorry, but I don't understand the question.

9. What’s the worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? Stubbornly refusing to see that I was completely wasting my time with a real repulsivo. I understand that I had important lessons to learn from that relationship. I just regret that it took me a decade -- and then some -- to learn them.

A productive day off

First I took myself out for a cheese omelet, orange juice and a few chapters of my book at the Cozy Corner Restaurant. Then I wandered around town, enjoying the sunny blue sky, and stocking up on pet food -- finally using those Petco coupons I've been hanging onto.

Then I alternated between watching the Cubs play the Pirates and doing 5 -- count 'em, FIVE! -- loads of laundry. A hideous drag, that's for sure. I resent every moment spent in the laundry room. But at least doing it on a weekday meant I didn't have to share the machines with anyone.

I took a break and got a pedi. I love my shimmery coral spring/summer look. Mine is Avon, not Sally Hansen, but this is close.

Then I put all my clothes away -- and I do mean all. Not just the freshly laundered ones, but also the clean clothes I left haphazardly around when trying to figure out what to wear in the mornings. I vacuumed a little, too.

Then I paid bills (today is payday, after all). Now I'm watching the USA Network NCIS Marathon ... oh, Gibbs! ... and chilling. In all, a satisfying day off.

Last night on the couch ...

We covered a lot of ground last night:

Much of the depression I experienced lately could be tied to Vicodin. The pain killer enhanced my comfort physically -- after all, the dentist sliced deep into my gums, cut bone, and stitched me up. Without the medication it would have been excruciating. But it also left me feeling fuzzy, and that fuzziness left me feeling vulnerable and clouded my judgement. That left me feeling profoundly uncomfortable.

Likewise the work on my veins, while completely voluntary, is putting my body through changes, and my body is reacting and perhaps rebelling. I can't ignore the impact the physical can have on the emotional.

Much -- but not all -- of my blues can be tied to that. Mother's Day was difficult for me because I realize my mother is aging. She's 75, and her time is short. Death and loss are a natural part of life, but that doesn't make them any easier to accept. In addition to knowing how much I will miss my mom, it's occurring to me that when she dies, so will much of my sense of family. I don't like my sisters.

This saddens me, and yet also leaves me feeling liberated in a way. For when my mother does die -- and she's feeling better these days, thank God, so nothing is imminent -- I have close friends I can turn to. My oldest friend has made it clear I always have a place for the holidays with her. And just as I spent New Year's in Key West, so I can spend Christmas. Saying all this aloud gave it a feeling of, "there, that's settled."

So last night's time on the couch was a most productive 50 minutes.

It's only a show ... it's only a show ... it's only a show ...

Just watched the penultimate episode of NCIS and am both eager and apprehensive about next week's finale.

The writers have been slowly, surely building the tension and I can anticipate just enough to make me crazy. A couple weeks ago, as part of a case involving a judge, the NCIS team interrogated a polygrapher. She did a demonstration on Gibbs, which he aborted because it was dopey and annoying ... and because he didn't want to answer her question about whether or not he had committed a felony. After all, we know that decades ago Gibbs used his exceptional skill as a sniper to shoot the Mexican drug runner who killed Kelly and Shannon, his wife and daughter.

This week Abby was sent to a symposium on forensics and cold cases in Mexico and was given a particular cold case to use as an example. It was the 20-year-old murder of a drug runner. Shot from a great distance with a high-caliber weapon. Naturally Abby figures it out -- she's very good at her job. But it breaks her heart. She and Gibbs are like family, "closer than family," as she likes to say. She is his favorite, his surrogate Kelly. She basks in his affection and has imbued him with super-human powers. As she often says, "He can do anything! He's GIBBS!"

He knows she has figured it out. She knows he knows. She asked him if he will still love her if she does what she has to do with the information. That's where the episode ended.

Clearly Gibbs was set up. It was no accident that Abby was sent to this symposium or that, out of all the unsolved murders in Mexico, the one she's handed is the one Gibbs committed.

According to the rumor mill, someone dies in next week's shocking finale. I think the one to go will be Allison Hart -- the icky lawyer who fell in love with Gibbs. But I fear it will be Abby.

Pauly Perrette, the actress who plays Abby, is one of the main cast members whose contract hasn't been renewed. The others -- Tony and McGee -- aren't as involved in this plot line as Abby. (Representatives for CBS have reassured us that they have "taken care of Mark Harmon," so we know that Gibbs isn't going anywhere.)

It would be sad for our poor Jethro to lose Allison because he's been so unlucky in love. Losing Abby would be devastating for him. And for me, too. For as one who longed for a positive daddy/daughter relationship, I find Abby and Gibbs very comforting. Reassuring. Something I'm still looking for.

I Want Wednesday ...

Here's what I want for myself today ...

1) Discipline to work out at lunchtime today. I'm finally over the Vicodin and I have the OK from the surgeon who is working on my legs. So now all I need is the will. Accomplished!

2) Energy to do some housework this evening. My niece is coming over Sunday to help me organize my living room, and because I know this is the plan, I have been neglecting to do anything, saying to myself, "I'll take care of that when she gets here." We're getting to the point where she is going to have to wear HazMat coveralls. Accomplished! Finished sorting laundry (I see 5 loads -- blues, blacks, reds, whites-to-be-bleached and everything else -- in my future) and changed the linens in my bedroom and bathroom.

3) A Cub victory. I know it's still early in the season, but I'm beginning to get a little nervous about the fielding and the bullpen. Accomplished! Thanks, Guys!

4) Lee DeWyze to make the final 3 on Idol. He's a hometown boy, he's got a neat, bluesy voice, and he's cute. Now that he's made the Final 3, the Tribune reports that the AI cameras will follow him to Wrigley Field and film him tossing out the first pitch.

5) Serenity. I'm feeling a little unsettled these days. It may be all the meds flowing through my system, it may be the lack of endorphins because I haven't been working out, it may be because I'm obsessed/saddened by my resemblance to Elena Kagan … the skies of my soul are a bit gray these days.

What about you? What do you want for yourself this Wednesday?

10 on Tuesday -- Movie Quotes

I thought of listing my own Top 10 movie quotes, but I couldn't limit myself to just 10. So I turned to the experts. According to the American Film Institute, here are the top 10 movie quotes of all time.

1. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. (Gone with the Wind)

2. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. (The Godfather)

3. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been a somebody. Instead of a bum, which is what I am. (On the Waterfront)

4. Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. (The Wizsard of Oz)

5. Here's lookin' at you, Kid. (Casablanca)

6. Go ahead. Make my day. (Sudden Impact)

7. All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up. (Sunset Blvd.)

8. May the force be with you. (Star Wars)

9. Fasten your seatbelts, it's goging to be a bumpy night. (All About Eve)

10. You talking to me? (Taxi Driver)

You know the type ...

Endured a rather stressful commute this morning. At first I thought the only thorn in my side was going to be the old man seated behind me, who was gurgling with phlegm as he coughed and sniffled. You know the type: 70+, wiping his nose and mouth with a cloth hankie, has clearly enjoyed a lifetime of booze and cigarettes, as all "real men" do in the Old Country. There was something about his unique tone that, no matter how loud I turned up my iPod, Natalie Cole just couldn't drown out.

But no, it got more interesting than that.

A woman got on the train with her overloaded bike. You know the type: rail-thin, no make up, stick-straight hair pulled back. Probably only watches PBS or listens to Celtic Woman while munching on baby carrots. Usually rides her bike to work to reduce her carbon footprint. I don't know why she thought she needed to bring her bike on the el this morning during rush hour. She doesn't do it often, because she didn't know how to store it, letting it lean across three seats (thereby depriving six passengers of a place to sit).

However, I had a seat, and there were several other open, so I, like most commuters, ignored her.

HE, however, didn't. You know the type: young middle-aged, blue collar. Wearing a pull on knit hat and a thick, well-worn, water-repellent jacket. Unzipped, possibly because the zipper is broken. He was mad when he got on the train. Probably was mad when he woke up this morning. You know the type: you just hope he doesn't have a dog at home to kick.

He told her he wanted to sit in one of the seats her bike was obstructing. If the train were more crowded, I'd think he had a point. Between the bike and her skinny self, she was taking up 7 seats and had only paid for one.

She started to act like a victim, complaining about the rain and something about the bus she usually takes to work. I admit she was annoying. I mean, it's not like it wasn't raining on all of us. And most of the time, the CTA is pretty reliable. If something went wrong with her bus, well, shit happens.

He started to get aggressive, talking about her very loudly in the third person, saying she's only interested in her own comfort and not that of the other passengers. He had a point, but he also had access to another seat, so I don't see why he had to get so damn mad. Except that's what guys like him do.

So then she got all school-marmy, because that's what women like her do. And she lectured him more about how she tried to take the bus with her bike and he should just take another seat.

He got angrier, told her that her problems weren't his business, and started to move her bike.

She shot out of her seat and squealed, causing another man to get involved, holding the bike still and telling him to chill and just take another seat.

The angry man grabbed the newspaper she had been reading, balled it up and sat down where she had been. "OK! THIS is the seat I want!"

Being the way she is, she couldn't let it go. She leaned on her bike as if to protect it and accused him of assaulting her.

Being the way he is, he couldn't resist yelling some more. He called her "Lady" and warned her to shut up because he hadn't assaulted her ... yet.

We all rode on in silence for a while. Then the train arrived at his stop and he angrily, dramatically stomped off. She called out after him about how difficult he had made her morning.

I felt like saying to her, "Look, you both had seats. Why did you let it escalate?" But I didn't. Because my stop was next and I just wanted to get out of there.

I realized, though, as I was watching it unfold, that they each reinforced the stereotype I had of them. I wonder if seeing people as "types" and assuming how they are going to act gets in the way of really relating.

Likewise, I wonder what "type" people think I am. I guess I bear more than a passing resemblance to Elena Kagan. So my fellow commuters probably thought of me as a pudgy, middle-aged, lesbian/old maid cat lady. Of course I do not find that assessment flattering. Of course not. A woman like me wouldn't.

After all, you know the type ...

Mother's Day 2010

Let me preface this by saying my mother is healthier than she was last year on this day, and for that I'm grateful. I love my mother very much and would like to have her around for a long time.

That said, Mother's Day 2010 was unsettling.

No, not because my mom was dissatisfied with her gift. She was happy with the set of six commemorative repeat/three-peat Bulls glasses, prominently featuring her beloved Michael Jordan. And yes, yesterday she recalled that earlier this year I'd given her $500 to care for her poor sick cat, Lucy, and that we had agreed that would be her Mother's Day present. So our visit was pleasant. I "got" her on Sunday because my kid sister and her family wanted to fuss over my mother on Saturday.

I noticed that she's looking older every time I see her, and she can be very vague in conversation, but we got along well. The best times were when we rhapsodizing about my niece and nephew, who my mom and I agree are fantabulous.

The weird part was my kid sister. First, my mom relayed a message from her -- my sister has decided that "the adults" aren't exchanging gifts anymore for holidays or birthdays because she and her husband can't afford it. I said to my mom, "They're still buying for you, right?" Yes, she said. So it's just ME that my sister and her husband aren't exchanging gifts with anymore.

Also, I have been trying to engineer a few days of "side jobs" for my brother-in-law at a friend's house. After all, I keep hearing about how dire their financial straits are, and I know he does handyman projects on weekends. My brother-in-law has embarrassed me by not even returning my friend's calls. Okeedokee.

Then my kid sister kept calling. First to talk to my mom, then to me, then my mom again. The first calls were about a cat she was thinking of adopting -- her Mother's Day gift from her family. She wanted my advice for incorporating a second cat into their household. That's just like my kid sister. As she once said to me during an argument, it doesn't bother her to accept favors from me but somehow I just don't "inspire her to give."

The last call was the most awkward. I heard my mom say, "No, not yet. Soon … Pork would be nice … Breaded … I really shouldn't right now … No not yet …" I just packed up my purse and called a cab. It was clear that my sister was ordering carry out for her family and my mother and I wasn't included. Since she was in such a hurry for me to get out of my mother's house, I did my best to oblige.

As my mom gets older, I promise myself I will try to get along with my sisters for her sake. But the fact of the matter is, my kid sister is a selfish brat without redeeming features -- except, of course, my niece and nephew.

Movie Monday -- My Movie Budget

Share on how you budget for your movie fix and any ways that you save or splurge. Link back here at The Bumbles and don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

This one is easy: I don't budget. My movie-going tends to be very spontaneous. If I have a couple of free hours on a Saturday afternoon, I check to see what's playing at the local theater. If I know I'm going to be at the mall, I see what's playing at the big-ass multiplex. The only time I really plan a trip to the movies is when I'm going to celebrate someone's birthday (both my oldest friend and my friend, John, prefer trips to the movies than more conventional parties).

One money-saving tip I've learned: a movie and dinner (meaning movie at 4:00 and dinner at 7:00) always costs less than dinner and a movie because you can take advantage of the cheaper weekend price. It also gives you the opportunity to discuss the movie over dinner.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Speed Dating Meme

1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Green Eggs & Ham

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? Ann Marie's NY apartment from That Girl. Built in bookshelves, exposed brick, a huge bathroom and a very tiny kitchen.

3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep? 23 hours.

4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song? Even Now. That's the insidious thing about break-ups -- they actually have you relating to Barry fucking Manilow songs.

5. Who's your favorite Muppet? Elmo's sister Zoe.

6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? Drinking Coke or (worse) Monster all day long at work.

7. What's your favorite website? IMDB.com.

8. What's your favorite school supply? ERASERS! Massive, free-standing erasers, not those little ones on the end of pencils.

9. Who's your favorite TV attorney? Jack McCoy (L&O)

10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? Colonial Williamsburg last month. It's already been a month! Damn. I was so happy during that trip.

11. What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or junk shop? Does this count? I got an autographed copy of Jessica Savitch's biography for 50¢ at the annual library booksale.

12. Where were you on September 11, 2001? Since our agency shared space with the Israeli consulate, I was evacuated by the Chicago police. I will never forget this. Ever.

13. What's your favorite tree? Redbud. My mom has been nurturing a most delicate one in her front yard for more than 40 years and whenever I see one I think of her. (My Mother's Day reference)

14. What's the most interesting biography you've read? Unwise Passions, the biography of Anne Randolph, the woman at the center of one of America's first sex scandals.

15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food? Shrimp.

16. What's the best costume you've ever worn? I enjoyed dressing as Minnie Mouse. I think the black nose and whiskers suited me.

17. What's your least favorite word? The c word.

18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Georgia, so I could listen to Ray Charles singing about me.

19. Who's your favorite bear? Yogi

20. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation. I was born with bright green eyes, yet everyone in my family -- both sides -- is/was brown-eyed.

21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be? I'm sorry, but I have no desire whatsoever to go to Africa.

22. What did you have for lunch yesterday? A baked potato

23. Where do you go for advice? Friends. I've got quite a diverse group to draw from.

24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Thesaurus

25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving? No and no

How did I do at the speed dating thing?
Are we going to hook up?

Vicodin & Betty White -- that's my Saturday night

Went to the dentist today for the second of three (or is it four) appointments to fill a particularly deep and troublesome cavity that appeared under a crown. There was almost nothing to the first appointment, and while I'm sure the dentist explained that today's appointment would be intense, I probably wasn't listening. Which is why I was surprised by all the drilling and scraping noises in my head during my nearly two hours in the chair this afternoon. I overheard words like "scalpel," "bone," and "suture."

I didn't feel any of it as it was going on. My dentist is terrific about really the numbing process. Ditzier than usual, certainly. Sleepy, you betcha. I wasted all afternoon and evening on the sofa.

But now, here I am about 9 hours later, and the dentist was right -- I am swollen and in pain. Thank goodness she had the foresight to prescribe the Vicodin.

And thank God for Betty White on SNL. The Golden Girl (born in my hometown, btw!) is living up to the hype.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Hey Jealousy

1. When was the last time that you got jealous? Thursday. Finally met a coworker from another department whom I'd previously only dealt with via email. She was gorgeous. Not yet 30, flawless skin, and so thin her entire body weighs less than one of my thighs. Blonde, of course. Oh, and she was highly competent, very good at her job. I know it's not very highly evolved of me, but I was so depressed when I left her office!

2. At what point do you finally decide it's time to move forward with your life (like, major changes)? How do you know? What do you do? Usually in the spring, after I go off on vacation, slipping away by myself for a few days of pampering and alone time. The change in surroundings lends a change in perspective. I have made several big decisions when I've been away -- to buy my own place, to work my down the corporate ladder … How to take the next step in my "real life" somehow seems clearer when I'm away from it for a few days.

3. When is it time to just let it ('it' can be whatever you choose) go? How do you know? What do you do? When "it" no longer works anymore, I make a change.

4. How many times must someone push your buttons before you've just had enough? Why? Depends on the buttons and depends on the someone. There are some areas that are more sensitive, and some people who are more gifted at the button console.

5. If I S/O were to cheat on you, could you ever see yourself giving them a second chance? Or a third? I did, and I learned a valuable lesson. It's not really about the sex, it's about the boundaries. Once I allowed him to hurt me like that, he seemed to think it was acceptable to hurt me in other ways, as well.

6. What was the last thing that someone did that you were very grateful for? Also Thursday. While at the florist, picking up some poms for my desk, I grabbed a spray rose stem and one of the free "Happy Mother's Day" cards for a pregnant coworker. I put it in a second-hand bud vase that I had tucked away on my office window sill and presented it to her. She literally lit up. She hugged me. Later in the day, she emailed me a photo she had taken with her phone, telling me that this was going into her baby book as her first-ever Mother's Day gift. Such a small, offhand gesture meant so much to her, and she was so open in sharing her joy. She touched my heart and this will stay with me for quite some time.

7. How much time do you spend online in a given weekday? What about the weekends? Too much. I haven't timed it.

8. How many online journals/blogs do you read regularly? What are some of your favorites and why? I like different blogs for different reasons ...
• Kwizgiver lives in another part of the country and yet her life feels very familiar to me
• Snarky Pants is a fan girl like me, and once a fan girl, always a fan girl
• Book Mama and Snowbird very generously share their extended family with us
• The Bumbles are baseball and movie fans, two passions that the best people share
• Vivian has a wise heart
• Mimi is enormously talented

9. What was the last major purchase that you made? I booked my New Year's trip to Key West.

Welcome to the Big Leagues, Mr. Castro!

From the San Jose Mercury News:

Awakened by his first call to the majors on Friday morning, top Chicago Cubs prospect Starlin Castro shook off sleep and disbelief to become an immediate star.

The 20-year-old became the youngest shortstop to make his Cubs debut when he stepped on the field about 12 hours later, and that was just the start of an historic night.

Castro hit a three-run homer off Cincinnati's Homer Bailey in his first at-bat, making him the sixth player in Cubs history to connect his first time up. The last to do it was Jim Bullinger in 1992. Three innings later, Castro hit a bases-loaded triple to the gap in right-center, sliding headfirst into the record books again. The six RBIs were the most for any player in a modern-day debut. Four others had five RBIs, most recently Ben Grieve in 1997.

Already, a Cubs sensation.

He made the jump from Double-A Tennessee, where he was asleep after a night game when the phone rang at 7 a.m. on Friday. The Cubs' top-rated prospect didn't expect to be in the majors until much later in the season.

Castro became the youngest Cub to make his big league debut since Oscar Gamble did it at the age of 19 in 1969.

What the fu ...

One of my coworkers is a genuinely lovely man. Devoted to his kids and blessed with a lyrical visual sense. But there's something very, very disturbing about him.

He either can't hear or doesn't comprehend.

In a meeting today, both my boss (sitting next to him) and I (seated across from him) were explaining something to him. Something he should have understood from a previous meeting, where it was originally introduced.

It's a very easy concept. We need to create something to go into a presentation deck on Monday -- something that represents a web page in content and appearance but will never BE a web page. It's just a suggestion, something to get the client thinking about adding a landing page to the project. Got that?

He said he doesn't know how to build web pages.

My boss and I repeated that this will never be a web page. It's just a representation, something static that will only appear on an 8 1/2" x 11" page in our deck. So the question is, if I get him copy by the end of day today, can he create something in time for Monday's meeting?

He repeated that he doesn't know how to build web pages.

After the third explanation, he got it.

I'm alternately frustrated and freaked out by this. Is it his hearing? Or worse, is it his comprehension?

Whatever it is, it's sad.

I feel like I should do something about this, but it's almost 3:30 on Friday and it's been kind of a rough week and I just want to get my work done and go home.

Less than $6 for a lovely smile

One of my coworkers -- a very earnest, hardworking girl -- just announced she's pregnant. She's new to the team, and since times have been tough at this agency lately, I wanted to make sure she feels comfortable with us. So while I was buying myself flowers for my desk, I picked up a single spray rose for her. I just put it in a 99¢ bud vase (second hand from Goodwill, as a matter of fact) and left it on her desk with a card, wishing her a "happy first Mother's Day." I'm the happy one -- for this simple gesture meant the world to her. She even took a picture of the vase/flowers so she could always remember her first-ever Mother's Day gift!

Maybe it's because I haven't been able to work out

Maybe it's because I'm wearing these fucking support hose.

But I feel like King Kong, completely misunderstood, an exposed target on top of the Empire State Building, trying to bat away planes that just keep on coming. And we all know what happened to him, don't we?

Nothing that bad, nor that unusual, really, is happening. It's just that there seems to be so much of it. I try to keep my spirits up, but after I bat aside one plane another seems to automatically appear on the horizon, headed straight for me.

This business with my uncle continues to drag on without resolution. He is a ward of the state, a sick old man who has gone from having millions to being up to his ass in debt in less than 3 years. Because none of us claimed responsibility for him, the state doesn't owe any of us an explanation as to what's taking so long. Why is he still in his house? Who is paying his property taxes, utility bills, etc.? Where are they going to put him? He's reverted to practically a child, so asking him does no good. I try not to think about it, since there is nothing I can do, but it is hard.

My mom is vague. With Mother's Day almost upon us, this weighs on me, too. Back in February, I gave her $500 so she could take her ailing old calico, Lucy, to the vet. I told her that it was her Mother's Day present, since she's Lucy's mother as well as mine. Well, in early March, poor Lucy had to be put down. Very sad, but not my fault. Last weekend, when I asked my mom when I could spend time with her for Mother's Day, she told me that the restaurant we usually go to and celebrate with a champagne brunch has gone out of business. I told her that's OK, since she already got her gift from me, a fancy champagne brunch wasn't in order this year, anyway.

She said, "What?" I didn't want to make her sad the Lucy situation again, so I didn't go into much detail, but I said, "Lucy, Mom. Remember?" Her response was, "Huh?"

My mother forgot the $500. That hurt.

My older sister, who lives very well in Southern California, no longer gives my mother any gifts or cards at all anymore -- not for her birthday, Christmas, or Mother's Day. I pay for my mother's supplemental Medicare insurance, her snow removal service and let her put $25 on one of my credit cards every month, just as a matter of course because she's my mother. Plus the $500 for her cat, whom she loved very much. While I was worried about losing my job. And she forgot.

Now I found a set of repeat/three-peat commemorative Bulls drinking glasses for her in a thrift shop. I was excited about them because they're wacky and unconventional, like my mom, and because she had been rhapsodizing recently about missing MJ. But compared to the champagne brunch and expensive Mother's Day gifts I've given her in the past, I'm afraid she's going to be disappointed. I'm trying to adjust my attitude about Sunday, but it's hard.

Then there are issues here at work. I like our client, more than our client likes this agency these days, and I'm working hard to make sure we rehabilitate our image with them. Yesterday, during our team status meeting, I was surprised to find that some of my work was already off being printed on high-quality paper, folded and boarded for presentation because it hadn't been proofread yet. What if there were typos? My art director, who makes frequent appearances on this blog, just kinda shrugged. She forgot to have me proofread it and no one else at the table, not even my boss, seemed to think this was the big deal I did. OK, then. After being accused of being Chicken Little with my "sky is falling shit," I didn't insist on back-tracking and following procedure. After the meeting, I did walk up to my boss and remind him that nothing had been proofread. He was in a hurry to go to lunch or something and nothing else was said.

Until the end of the day. Seems my boss did backtrack on his own and find typos and told me that I really have to be more vigilant about process. To borrow from my mom, "What? Huh?" He told me I should insisted on seeing my work again and proofreading it. I told him it would be nice if be backed me up during the status meeting. I also don't understand why I am the sole proprietor of our process. The art director in question is nearly 50 years old and has been doing this more than a quarter of a century. Isn't she responsible for her work, too? I wanted to go home and drink. Since I'm unable to work out, I simply went home and ate a salad.

There's friend stuff, too. But I'm making myself sad just by writing this and will close now. While I want this blog to be an honest reflection of who I am, I don't want it to make me blue.

We Have a Winner!

It was very close, but in the highly-competitive, life-on-the-razor's-edge world of The Gal Game, it's the little things that make all the difference. (Enough competitive cliches in there for ya?) In the case of Kwizgiver, it was remembering my unfortunate addiction to Pogo that earned her this FABULOUS PRIZE!

I'd like to thank all my contestants -- really and most sincerely. For while I began this game as a lark, it's very gratifying to know that you're out there, reading and remembering. I'm genuinely quite touched.


1) The Gal comes across $50 in found money. That's cash, with no strings attached. What will she do with it? Purse, pedi, books and massage are all good answers. (And I wish I was as charitable as Snarkela and Book believe me to be.)

2) It's Sunday night at about 10:00. The Gal is looking back upon her weekend and is upset with herself because once again she has failed to do something. What is it she means to do almost every weekend, but seldom does? (No, the answer we're looking for is not, "have sex," though it would be true.) De-clutter! Everyone got this right.

3) Of course The Gal has more Paul McCartney songs (Beatle and solo) on her iPod than any other artist. But who comes in (a distant) second? Yes, it's the Boss. Vivian and Kwiz guessed correctly. In fact, they know me better than I know me. For before I picked up the iPod and checked, I would have said it was Streisand, and I would have been off by 2 songs.

4) The Gal never does something that most American adults do at least several times a week, if not every day. What is it? (No, the answer we're looking for is not, "have sex," though it would be true.) Drive and drink coffee are both correct. I'm not surprised that many find this memorable. As I go through life, I think people would be less impressed if I kept human heads in my freezer than that I neither drive nor drink coffee.

5) Who is The Gal's all-time, miles-above-everyone-else hero/idol/role model? You get extra credit if you know why. Kwiz & Book correctly guessed JBKO, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. Because she lived her life her own way, and made it all look so easy when in reality, it couldn't have been.

6) There's a TV show The Gal loves, even though she knows it's shameful trash. What is this guilty pleasure? (Clue: It's on right now as I compose this.) No one got this. Nancy Grace on HLN. She's a madwoman and she and her regular callers fascinate me. BTW, it never occurred to me to be embarrassed by my love of Idol and NCIS. Are they bad? C'mon, you can tell me.

7) While she hates the heat, there are some things that come along with warm weather that The Gal loves. Name one. Yes, the Cubs. Of course, the Cubs! Also acceptable answers are showing off my beautiful pedis and checking out Puppet Bike.

8) The Gal donated money to two political campaigns that she now feels owe her a refund. Whose campaigns were they? Snarkela's the only one who got this one 100% right: Blago and John Edwards. Boy, I can pick 'em, can't I? While Bill Clinton pisses me off regularly, I still have a soft spot for the big lug. And as far as my work with Senator Kerry goes, I'm proud of it. He didn't disappoint me, America did.

9) Which author's recent death made The Gal very sad? Robert B. Parker -- and, therefore, my buddy, Spenser -- died in January and I was surprised by how bad I felt. Book Mama got this one right, and now that she's getting to know Spenser and Hawk, I bet she understands.

10) The Gal is online ... again! If she's not reading blogs or answering emails, what is she most likely doing? Pogo. Currently I'm hooked Boggle. I have spent an embarrassing amount of time on Turbo 21, as well as Scrabble, Monopoly and Yahtzee. I should have carpal tunnel by now.

And if any of you post a similar quiz, let me know.
I'd like to see how I do as a contestant!

Play for Fun and Fame and Prizes!

Ok, I'm lying about Fame and Prizes. But I am led to believe by Kwiz and Snarkela (see comments on the 10 on Tuesday post below) that this might be Fun.

Introducing
THE GAL GAME

The Gal Herself has been blogging relentlessly for four years this month. With all that unfettered blabbing, she has revealed much. In fact, regular readers may know just about all there is to know about her.

Or do you?

See if you can respond to these completely Gal-Centric questions correctly. While there may not be one right answer, some answers will undoubtedly be right-er. The decision of the judge (me) will be final.

1) The Gal comes across $50 in found money. That's cash, with no strings attached. What will she do with it?

2) It's Sunday night at about 10:00. The Gal is looking back upon her weekend and is upset with herself because once again she has failed to do something. What is it she means to do almost every weekend, but seldom does? (No, the answer we're looking for is not, "have sex," though it would be true.)

3) Of course The Gal has more Paul McCartney songs (Beatle and solo) on her iPod than any other artist. But who comes in (a distant) second?

4) The Gal never does something that most American adults do at least several times a week, if not every day. What is it? (No, the answer we're looking for is not, "have sex," though it would be true.)

5) Who is The Gal's all-time, miles-above-everyone-else hero/idol/role model? You get extra credit if you know why.

6) There's a TV show The Gal loves, even though she knows it's shameful trash. What is this guilty pleasure? (Clue: It's on right now as I compose this.)

7) While she hates the heat, there are some things that come along with warm weather that The Gal loves. Name one.

8) The Gal donated money to two political campaigns that she now feels owe her a refund. Whose campaigns were they?

9) Which author's recent death made The Gal very sad?

10) The Gal is online ... again! If she's not reading blogs or answering emails, what is she most likely doing?

Boy, it's really weird to write about yourself in the third person.

Ten on Tuesday -- When I dream ...

Here are 10 men who frequently appear on this blog as objets d'lust, listed in order of recentcy.

1) Mark Harmon. Gibbs. See below.

2) George Clooney. Cool smart ass who lives by a code.

3) Greg Maddux. My favorite Cub of all time. One of the greatest pitchers in the history of the game. The man whose control is so great he could "throw a baseball thru the hole in a Lifesaver."

4) Robert Redford. Vintage cinematic Golden Boy and one of the coolest guys ever.

5) Nigel Barker. Former model, star fashion photographer, and the only reason I watch America's Next Top Model. (Dear God, that accent!)

6) Bruce Willis. I always love him, smirk (John McClane, David Addison) or no smirk (Malcolm from The Sixth Sense).

7) Sir Paul. My most enduring crush. Ever since he first sang, "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll miss you," on The Ed Sullivan Show.

8) Bruce Springsteen. The Boss. Still fighting the good fight, still rocking that body by Nautilus, even at 60.

9) Jon Hamm. Don Draper. I love you.

10) Patrick Dempsey. Grey's Anatomy is no longer appointment TV for me (though now that I'm sure I won't be subjected to Izzie, I may make more of an effort) but still, every time I see McDreamy he lives up to the name.

Sigh. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.

I love my TV boyfriend

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs is not only a decorated war hero, a world-class sniper and fluent in Russian, I learned in tonight's USA Network NCIS rerun that he can also "sample the frosting on a cake without leaving a fingerprint."

My mind reels.

Movie Monday -- Parties

Share your favorite festive flicks, linking back here at The Bumbles. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

ANIMAL HOUSE!!!! The greatest party movie ever. One of the greatest comedies ever! I did an entire Thursday Thirteen devoted to it, but to save you clicking back here are my 10 favorite quotes:

1) “Eric Stratton, Pledge Chairman. Damn glad to meet you.” Otter
2) “The time has come for someone put his foot down. And that foot is ME!” Dean Vernon Wormer
3) “Thank you, sir, may I have another?” Chip
4) “Listen! I’m not joking! This is my JOB!” Professor Jennings
5) “Toga! Toga!” Bluto
6) Boone: “You’re going to hump her brains out, aren’t you?”
Otter: “I anticipate a deeply religious experience.”
7) “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” Dean Wormer
8) “Over? Did you say, ‘over?’ Nothing is over until we say it’s over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” Bluto
9) “We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. And we’re just the guys to do it!” Otter
10) Flounder: “I can’t believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.”
Boone: “Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.”


Breakfast at Tiffany's. Regal, ethereal Audrey Hepburn played Holly Golightly, one of the few really serious party girls ever to star in her own movie. It's Audrey's elegance and inherent sweetness that made Holly seem not like a boozy slut but instead like just a lot of fun. Here's the big party scene, where Holly accidentally sets a woman's hat on fire with her cigarette but another guest just as accidentally douses it with his drink. There were also guests making out in the shower and Holly clearing a path for her tall, arch rival Meg Wildwood to fall down drunk by yelling, 'TIM-BER!'

Three in a row!

It's been great having the D'backs in town. Alfonso Soriano has really hit his stride, and everyone else is really hitting the ball. Zambrano has settled in as a reliever. It's starting to be fun!

I was going to do so much today! But I got distracted by all those home run balls flying into the stands and out of the park and am just now beginning the laundry. Gal, you are such a lazy slob. A happy Cub-lovin' slob, but a slob nevertheless.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Question Meme

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? No. But that's only because Sir Paul, Mark Harmon and my beloved future Hall of Famer, Greg Maddux, are all currently in relationships and are too upstanding to cheat on their significant others to make my fantasies come true. Oh yeah, and none of them know I exist.

02) What was your dream growing up? I was going to be a wildly popular singer, maybe branching out into TV and movies. My dream was dashed in junior high when my music teacher explained what the term "tone deaf" means.

03) What talent do you wish you had? See #2.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? You know, I haven't had a kir royale in quite a while, and since you're buying ...

05) Favorite vegetable? Peas.

06) What was the last book you read? Unwise Passions, the biography of Ann Randolph. She rocked!

07) What zodiac sign are you? Sagittarius. Barely. I was born at 12:01 AM on November 22. 90 seconds earlier and I would be a Scorpio.

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Just a single piercing in each ear.

09) Worst Habit? Complete lack of discipline.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? No. Because I don't have a car.

11) What is your favorite sport? Go, Cubs, go!

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? I'm cautiously optimistic. When I start to spin out, I awfulize -- imagining the absolute worst -- then realize I can handle it and try to get on with it.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Ring the alarm, call 911 on my cell, and then sit in the corner and wait for help. What would you do?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? I let myself get way too involved with a real creep and it had ramifications that I still deal with.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I am wearing support hose as I complete this meme. And I'm just delighted about it.

16) Do you have any pets? Yes. In fact, Charlotte Ann Cat is sitting just over my left shoulder, watching me complete this meme.

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? You would be waiting in the vestibule downstairs because I don't buzz open the door for unexpected strangers.

18) What was your first impression of me? That you're kind of pushy about wanting to come over.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary, with their painted-on, pointy "I just killed my wife" smiles. Shudder.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd have a waist again.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? What are we going to do?

22) What color eyes do you have? Green.

23) Ever been arrested? No.

24) Bottle or can soda? Bottle.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? I'd put $1000 away each for my mom, my niece and my nephew. I'd take a quick trip to Boston or DC, and I'd pay down my B of A credit card (see counter at right) with what's left.

26) What's your favorite place to hang out at? Monk's Pub. It's been my favorite dive for decades. I recommend the steak sandwich.

27) Do you believe in ghosts? You mean like Caspar? No. But I believe that those who have gone to God still watch over us.

28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Watch TV or fart around online.
29) Do you swear a lot? Fuck yes!

30) Biggest pet peeve? These damn support hose.

31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Short.

32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Yes to both.

33) Favorite and least favorite food? Thumbs up: Burgers. Thumbs down: Sushi.

34) Do you believe in God? Yes.

I'm boycotting #35 because I'm sick beyond endurance of all these plugs. (Blame it on the support hose.)

It's like I'm there

The surgeon distracted me from the ouches he was inflicting on my legs today (see below) by telling me about his trip last weekend to the opening of New Orleans Jazz Fest. He saw Simon & Garfunkle and The Allman Brothers Band and lots of jazz/gospel acts I haven't heard of. My best friend is there this weekend, seeing Pearl Jam and Van Morrison and lots of jazz/gospel acts I haven't heard of. Sounds like a helluva party, huh? Living vicariously through them takes some of the blech out of wearing spending Saturday night in these fucking support hose. (Though at least the USA Network was good enough to run an NCIS marathon, so I have my TV boyfriend Gibbs to keep me company.)

BTW, this poster was originally a painting by Tony Bennett. How's that for cool?

I. HATE. THESE.

Support hose. They suck. They are hot and all around icky. I must wear them for a full fucking week, all the way until next Saturday morning, in order to prevent clotting after my first vein treatment.

The procedure itself was fine. The doctor was very nice, he and his tech were very chatty and kept things light. And he's a Cub fan! As near as I can tell (I'm still bandaged), I had injections in about 20 sites on both legs. There's no pain, just a little itchiness -- and that could be from the antiseptic and gauze and tape as much as the shots.

But these fucking hose. They cannot come off until my shower tomorrow morning, and then they're supposed to go right back on. AAARGH!

And I've got to call the doctor's office tomorrow and leave word that I those were my shorts on the examining room floor. I left them there after wrestling with the support hose and then my blue jeans. Sometimes I'm such a ditz.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Changes

1. Tell us about one thing that you'd change about yourself if you could. My weight. I hate being a pudge.

2. Mattel decides to make a Barbie-like (or Ken-like) doll of you -- what would be the most important accessory or accessories they would absolutely have to package you with in order to portray your lifestyle? A big purse, iPod and sunglasses. No outfit is complete without them.

3. Hey, do you like surprises? If yes, what kinds? Not really. Surprises can make me uncomfortable because, to borrow from my shrink, I like to control what the audience sees and surprises make that more difficult.

4. What was the last snail mail that you received that was significant? A thank-you note from a coworker who appreciated my efforts to make her new baby feel welcome in the world.

5. If you could pick out a brand new nickname for yourself, what would you choose and why? I have a few nicknames already, and they're fine with me.

6. John Edward's mistress was on Oprah this past Thursday. She stated that no third person can break up a marriage, so it had to be broken before the two started doing the nasty. Do you buy that? Yes. People who value their relationships can most certainly be tempted, but they choose not respond to temptation. Even John Edwards is a high functioning mammal with free will, after all.

7. Do you think it is okay to keep secrets from your s/o? Yes. My romantic history is my own damn business, thank you very much. (Not my medical history, but my romantic one.)

8. Have you ever played Truth or Dare? If yes, what's the weirdest dare that you did? Oh, God! I'm sorry but I don't remember that far back.

9. What, in hindsight, the stupidest thing that you have ever done? Let me preface this story by saying, this was the 80s -- I did a few lines of coke to prepare for a party and then, when I got there, was distressed by the crappy selection of booze that was being served. I'm not a Mateus Rose gal. So I swigged from my own bottle of Korbel and before I knew it, the bottle was empty. In little more than an hour. The coke stopped me from puking or acting too drunk, but it certainly clouded my judgement. My friend John, one of the world's great partiers, was frightened by the prospect of alcohol poisoning and took me under his wing. When JOHN thinks you have had enough, you have had enough.

Plot? What plot?

Watching Ocean's 13 as I wander about, preparing for my Saturday. I remember seeing it at the theater, and recall that Matt Damon is very funny with Ellen Barken, but other than that, it's somehow all new to me. I'm not really following it this time, either.

Let's face it -- this is the SI Swimsuit issue for women. I get all weak-kneed when Clooney is doing his too-cool-for school schtick. Because you know what? He really is too cool.

Sights seen at lunch

Molly the Cat was out again today. This time she and her dad were across the street, in front of Starbuck's instead of Macy's. I worry that they are too close to the street, and all that traffic, but they have so much more than that that's troublesome in their homeless lives, so I guess I shouldn't fixate. I know Molly is having a can of turkey and giblets for lunch, and I left a buck, some change and some kind words for her humans. (Don't know where her female person was today.) She's a very nice cat, so friendly that you know her people must be very good to her.

I stopped at McDonald's and saw a little girl gazing lovingly at the Mermaid Barbie Happy Meal display. Oh, how I wish I could long so much for something so easily attainable!

Puppet Bike was setting up, and that always makes me happy. What's not to love about watching mangy puppets dancing merrily to Xydeco music?

I feel bad for people who don't have a vibrant city to wander about at lunchtime.