The Tough Conversation that Wasn't So Tough

Last Thursday I checked the store's online program and discovered that my name doesn't appear on the schedule after the 15th. Some people are working between the 15th through 31st, but not everyone ... and not me. I was concerned that this means I don't have a job anymore. While I would certainly understand this -- we have experienced a lull after Valentine's Day, and I was originally only hired through New Year's Day anyway -- I wanted to know the truth right away and was tempted to text my boss over the weekend but resisted. She was on vacation and deserved to unplug. 

But Monday, once she got in and got settled, I asked her about it. She apologized for any confusion and explained that, with the drop in business, she just can't support everyone. I have not been let go. Corporate expected this dip in sales and lowered the store's daily projections, so we aren't "in trouble" or going out of business. This is the nature of part-time retail work. I must learn the ways of this new world.

I told Ceecee I understand and reminded her that I'm flexible* and can come in with advance notice whenever she needs me. I was also happy to see that before I got in, before we had the conversation, she had added my name to two displays in the breakroom. I now have a paper flower on the decorative team board and my "birthday" (the day I started working there) is on the team calendar. She wouldn't have added me to those if I was on the way out.

I like this job. It can be fun and the extra money is nice. But I also like sleeping in and since my oral surgery and vacation are coming up, I'd have to take time off anyway. And don't forget: I'm lazy. So this is not the worst that could happen.

 
*Kinda. I still don't want to work Tuesdays, evenings or weekends.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 11

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 11:

1) I gave my oldest friend a chance. I was in a mood Monday night. I just didn't feel like being alone. So I phoned my oldest friend. She's been annoying me lately -- her recent emails have been as artificial and superficial as the mass newsletters you receive from distant relatives in Christmas cards. But I reached out to her last night and she really came through. We had a lovely, funny chat. Like the old friends we are. I like myself for not letting my irritation fester and become a bigger deal than it needs to be.

2) I nurtured a new friendship. I sent Bob and Patty -- the couple I had brunch with Sunday -- a link to my movie group. Maybe they're busy on Mondays. Maybe they can't bear the idea of another Zoom meeting. But I made the gesture. I like myself for that. (I must remember this week to reach out to Elaine. I could be a better friend to her. But this is the place to celebrate what's good and not indulge in negative self-talk, right?)

3) I'm looking at my caffeine intake. I have long limited myself to two Cokes/day. Less than that, and I get unpleasant caffeine headaches. I find, though, that if I have that second Coke earlier in the evening (last night it was before 9:00), I sleep less fitfully. I like that I'm taking care of myself.

 

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 10

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 10:

1) I put feet to my faith. It feels so good to do good on Sundays, to do something tangible that reflects my Christian faith. This morning it was Letters Against Isolation.

2) I looked away. There was something on the news this morning about an airline mishap. I can't tell you anything about it because I looked away. I am flying next month and air travel terrifies me even when I don't have a negative story ringing in my ears. I like that I was smart and self-protective enough to look away.

3) I broadened my circle. I've heard that it is more difficult to make friends as we grow older. I haven't necessarily found that, but I can see how it can be true, so I made an effort to allow new people into my life. Patty and Bob live in my neighborhood but we met back in 2019 at the TCM Film Festival. Yes, it was while waiting for the light on the corner of Hollywood and Orange Blvd.'s that I met people who live less than a mile from me. We became Facebook friends and now, more than four years later, we finally met again in person for lunch. They're Cub fans (as all the best people are) and pet people (as all the best people are). We're going to be in Hollywood again next month, staying in the same hotel, and will meet again for coffee -- this time, my treat. Allowing new people into my life is a way to help ensure that I feel happier and more supported. I like that I'm taking care of myself.

 

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 9

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 9:

1) I held my temper. I invited my friend Nancy and her husband to a specific restaurant for her birthday meal. What a bitch I am! You would think that by how Nancy was acting. The restaurant is open from 8 AM until 10 PM. They are known for their crepes and the way they do milkshakes, especially for birthdays, with sprinkles and fruit and all kinds of lovely things, and I know Nancy likes shakes. I sent her a link to the restaurant so she could familiarize herself with the menu. 

She chose the time: high noon. When we got there, she saw the line outside the door and said, "Maybe you should have made a reservation." Um ... the website says "no reservations for breakfast or brunch." I told her that the earliest reservation is for 3:00. (Like the website says.) She suggested we go to the coffee shop next door. OK, cheaper for me ... but I was sad because I wanted to wow her with the crepes and milkshakes. 

We get to the coffee shop and guess what: at noon on Saturday, they have a line, too. We gave them our names and went to the bookstore a few doors down to browse. The bookstore had the two books Nancy wanted in stock! YAY! Now we could have done this at the more special restaurant I'd chosen, but never mind. This is about Nancy so I'm letting her call all the shots.

It took the coffee shop 20 minutes to text us. Nancy was scandalized. Remember, she chose the time. I told her that every nice restaurant is going to be busy with the lunch crowd at high noon and she shrugged. Then she complained about how busy the sidewalks are, filled with people! It's a good economy, I'm not going to bitch. Then she rolled her eyes when a kid approached us, offering to sell us candy for $1. I didn't give him one of my "blessing bags" because I was afraid she'd tell me I'm encouraging him, and I don't want to hear that. Not from her. Not today.

Afterward, as we walked to her car, she complained about how "overbuilt and busy" the neighborhood is. She used to live here! Again, good economy = infrastructure = JOBS! I am happy. I told her that. I also told her "I could do 30 minutes on your neighborhood, if I wanted to." Her lily white, completely non-diverse, bedroom community where nothing is walkable and you have to drive to buy a quart of milk. They don't even have an independent bookstore, or a card shop like the one I work at. Or a cute restaurant that specializes in crepes, or a movie theater, all within blocks of one another. It's a fucking snooze.

But I stopped at "if I wanted to." It was Nancy's birthday, and maybe something was eating at her. I know at times grief over her son's death pops up unexpectedly, maybe that's what this was. Anyway, the point was to celebrate Nancy, not argue with her. 

As always, I made her husband Paul laugh a lot. Nancy loves that about me. They don't have many friends; there's his friends and her friends but not many they share. 

So I made her husband laugh, I got her a cute gift, I fed them, and I bit my tongue. I like myself for all that.

2) I made the nutritious choice. I found myself hungry this evening. I really wanted an all-beef hot dog. But I had a burger and fries for lunch. So I made myself a snack of vegetables. The hot dog would have tasted better, but I like myself for taking care of myself.

3) I kept an open mind. This week's classic film is The Solid Gold Cadillac. It's a favorite of our movie group moderator, Will. I began watching it and thought it was just OK. My viewing was interrupted when my cable went out. When it came back on, I'll be honest -- I didn't feel like resuming the movie. But Will is so cute and enthusiastic when we discuss one of his faves. He works hard on selecting a variety of films, researching and posting about them, then he runs our Meetups. He does all this without compensation. I like myself for remembering that and keeping an open mind about The Solid Gold Cadillac. It turned out to be a cute movie. It ain't Citizen Kane, but I'm not sorry I saw it. And I'm glad I'll be able to discuss it intelligently Monday.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Hold Me Now (1983)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song begins with a young man gazing at a picture of himself and his girlfriend in happier times. Are there any photographs in the room you're in right now? There's a lovely framed photo of Chicago's Water Tower on the wall. It was a gift from my favorite uncle.

2) His girl tells him he's a dreamer. Do you consider yourself more a dreamer or realist? I'm like JFK. He referred to himself as "an idealist without illusions." I am by nature a dreamer, but I can be very pragmatic when the situation demands it.

3) "Hold Me Now" was a big hit for the British pop band, The Thompson Twins. They got their start in the late 1970s in the English city of Sheffield, so named because the River Sheaf runs through it. Do you know how your town got its name? Chicago is a native American name, derived from the Algonquin word for "onion." Back in the day, our lakeshore and riverbanks were home to wild onions.

4) Today lead singer Tom Bailey performs solo and is an outspoken advocate for veganism. Vegans abstain from consuming animal products, particularly in their diets. Are you a vegan, or have you ever tried to stick to a vegan diet? Nope. I love meat and dairy too much.

5) Tom's former bandmate Joe Leeway has left show business altogether and concentrates on a career in hypnotherapy. This therapy is commonly used to treat insomnia, smoking cessation and obesity. Is hypnotherapy something you have tried, or would consider? No. I admit I'm uncomfortable with the concept, though I don't know for sure why.

6) In 1983, when this song was popular, Motorola introduced the first cell phone. Today cell phones are an essential part of our every day lives. Do you still have a landline? Yes. I'm going to keep it until forced to give it up. The call quality is far, far superior to my cellphone's.

7) Also in 1983, American West airlines took off, flying between Las Vegas and Phoenix. Where did you travel to on your most recent flight? My last flight from 2023 is the same itinerary as my next roundtrip flight: ORD-LAX and back.

8) In 1983, Princess Diana was the world's top cover girl. Are there any magazines in the room you're in? If yes, who or what is on the cover? Just in time for the Oscars, Vanity Fair published their annual Hollywood issue with Bradley Cooper, Natalie Portman, Pedro Pascal and Colman Domingo on the cover. They all look gorgeous. Of course they do. Vanity Fair is in the gorgeous cover business.

9) Random question: Is anyone on your bad side this morning? Yes. My oldest friend is in a weird place right now. Very superficial and fake, she speaks to me as if we just so happened to meet on a bus, not like someone she has known since Kindergarten. So annoying! I keep reminding myself that she likely can't help it. She's bipolar and her moods get away from her. Patience is in order.

Nice Things about Myself -- Day 8

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 8:

1) I gave a "thumbs up." Cognitively impaired, my friend Kathy doesn't understand that when she responded to my Facebook posts she was hitting Messenger, not comment. If I responded to her via Messenger, she would scold me, insisting that she doesn't use Messenger, she's told me she doesn't use Messenger, and why don't I get that? If I don't answer her, she sent pitiful messages, asking why either I'm ignoring her or Facebook is trying to keep people from her. It was exasperating and depressing. So in December I restricted her access to my Facebook page. Kathy has literally hundreds of other Facebook friends. Let her hassle them for awhile. Anyway, today she sent me a confusing Messenger message about how Messenger confuses her. What the ever loving fuck? Here we go again! If I respond, I'll get scolded. If I ignore it, she'll get whiny and paranoid. Then I thought, "So?" She is failing, her life is getting smaller, she is lonely. While I have no intention of continuing any kind of real relationship with her, giving her a "thumbs up" costs me nothing, took me a second, and may have given her a momentary feeling of connection. I liked myself for that.

2) I was patient today. I used a coupon toward my carry out pizza. The cashier stared at it a moment before calling the manager for help. She just could not figure out how to ring me up. I felt her embarrassment, so I acted as though I didn't notice. Since starting my job at the card shop, I feel kinship with my brothers and sisters behind the registers.

3) I gave John space. My friend John is battling ... something. He's not feeling well physically and he doesn't like his life very much. I'd do anything to help him. I know he knows that. So I sent him a card, saying I'm glad he's in my life, and I'm leaving it at that. At least for a few weeks. I'm respecting that he has a right to handle it in his own way.

 

Good news all around

Photo by CDC on Unsplash

1) That's a wrap. I went to the ophthalmologist again for a follow up exam. After conducting three different tests, he concluded that virtually nothing has changed since last September. While he can't absolutely, positively 100% rule out glaucoma, there's no compelling evidence of it, either. Instead of seeing me every six months, he has scheduled me for annual re-testing. I like this. We're not ignoring it, we're following up. But he's also confident that I'm fine.         

2) We're one of 5. As I mentioned back on March 5, an inspector came through and left with two (2!) pages of violations need to be addressed right away. Some are small, like graffiti near the utility room. Some are structural and likely very expensive. The time frame was ambitious to the point that we're already late. 

We met with our management company, who put it on a very human level for us. The inspector is new, filling in for his boss, who is on maternity leave. We are one of 5 buildings who were found to have violations on the same week, and ours isn't even the worst.

The next step is not to start work.  It's to hire a structural engineer, who will see if the inspector's assessments are correct. If they aren't, we will present our case to the inspector. If they are, we will present our plan/priorities for making repairs. 

In short, no one is going to expect any of us condo unit owners to fork over a big bag of cash all at once, and maybe not at all.

I'm going to sleep tonight feeling better about everything, and for that I'm grateful.

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 7

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 7:

1) I was patient. I was fiddling around with the online scheduling tool for the store and saw that after March 15, I'm not scheduled for any hours. Other people are, but not me. Although no one is scheduled for my particular shift (10 to 2), there is a crazy quilt of sales people scheduled and there will be coverage. There could be many reasons for this, but the first one that came to mind is that Store Manager CeeCee can no longer afford me. After all, I was hired in late October with the understanding that the job would be over on January 1. "Seasonal Sales Associate" is my title. Or it could have to do with spring break, the vacation of my regularly-scheduled manager Jen, or ... or ... or ... I see Colleen (whom I've yet to meet) isn't scheduled either. ANYWAY, when I noticed this, my first impulse was to text CeeCee and say, "What gives?" If she is letting me go, I'll certainly understand. I just hate having stuff like this hanging over my head, unresolved. My initial impulse is to get it all out in the open. I was going to text her and ask her to call me and then I remembered: she's taking this week off. She worked inventory at another store and she's tired. It would be enormously selfish of me to put my comfort before hers. I liked myself for realizing I can, indeed, wait until Monday, when she and I are face to face to ask, "What gives?"

I'm sorry but I don't have a 2 or 3 today.

Thursday Thirteen #351

The last 13 TV commercials I saw. I love TV. If I'm home, it's likely on. Because I spent decades in advertising, I pay attention to how networks and marketers target me and what TV commercials I see. 

So I made note of what was promoted to me on a random Thursday night.

1. JP Morgan Wealth Management. I'm already a Chase customer, and Chase is the #1 bank in Chicagoland, so it makes sense I'd see this commercial.

2. Voltaren. I'm a lady of a certain age, and I am creaking a bit more every day, so this OTC arthritis cream commercial seems appropriate.

3. Intuit QuickBooks. Financial software. I'm neither self-employed nor a small business owner, so nah.

4. Indeed. An employment website. I'm neither looking for a job nor hiring anyone, so nah.

5. Mando. You know that Lume Deodorant you see all the time? Now there's one for men. I don't care.

6. Angi. It used to be called Angie's List. If I needed a new contractor, I might use it.

7. Ro. An injectable weight management med. This commercial wouldn't interest me at all except she says "little prick," and I'm juvenile so it gets my attention.

8. Mtailor. Tailored clothes made by measurements taken from your phone. I love this idea and I think the commercial misses the point. It only shows men, while mtailor does make jeans for women, as well. Yoo-hoo! Woman here!

9. Xfinity. "Discover unmissable shows and find what you love." I owe my soul to Xfinity. They already have my internet, cable and landline phone service. So yes, I can see why people like me see this ad.

10. Pooph. An odor remover spray. I keep meaning to try this because I have two cats/two litter boxes. In the commercial he sprays Pooph directly into his mouth. It's kinda creepy, but it addresses my concern about product safety around my cats.

11. Lerner and Rowe.  "Lerner and Rowe are the lawyers for you. Call 222-2222." You see similar spots for your own local injury lawyers, don't you?

12. Mando again. I'm still not a smelly man.

13. Granite stone cookware. I'm sure these are lovely, but I have pots and pans I bought in 1980 that are good as new because ... well ... I never use them.

Do you find that the commercials and web banners you see are for products/services you would actually purchase?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 6

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 6:

1) I wasn't a bitch. Both my friend Elaine and I find ourselves exasperated by Betty, also in our movie group. Betty is over 60, attractive but mature. She cannot resist mentioning to us that she was Miss Chintatown Chicago back in the day. That day was decades ago, and it's not like it was a national title. And it really seldom comes up organically in conversation. Betty has to shoe-horn it in, which she always manages to do. Anyway, she sent me a video of her teenage self singing in the Miss Chinatown Chicago talent portion. She found a tape of it, had it converted to DVD, played it on her TV, filmed it with her phone, and texted it to me. How very Betty! I have never once expressed interest in this, mind you. I was dying to share it with Elaine, along with a snarky comment. But I didn't. I reminded myself that it seems the highlight of her life happened when she was a teen. Maybe sharing it with me made her feel closer to me, which is something of a compliment, right? Instead of forwarding it, I responded by saying I didn't know she could sing, and that her daughters must love seeing her so young and beautiful. Betty thanked me profusely. I like myself for how I handled this.

2) I didn't hit "send." Similarly, I wasn't bitchy to my oldest friend. Though I wanted to be. Her last two emails were silly, superficial affairs that read more like those mass letters you get in a Christmas card than real correspondence between close friends. She annoys the shit out of me when she's like this. I started to tell her that if she doesn't want to talk, then don't, but don't bother me with this drivel. Instead I just deleted her email and my reply. I love her. I liked myself for remembering that and curbing my tongue. (Or fingertips.)

3) I didn't just sit here. I signed up to write more postcards encouraging Democrats to vote in the fall. I like that I'm not one of those people who just yells at the TV when I don't like the news.

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 5

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 5:

1) I haven't lost my shit ... yet. An inspector has decided that our building has structural issues that we must present a plan for correcting -- pronto. Right now, that's all I know. I have been running the numbers in my imagination, based on my assumptions, and think I will soon owe an additional $3,000 to $8,000. I am not happy about this. It's almost heartbreaking, because I have been working so hard to crawl out of debt. But here's the thing: I don't know what's going on and I won't for a while. I've made some contingency plans in my head to reassure myself that I'll be OK. But beyond that, there isn't anything else I can do. I have accepted that. No tears, minimal obsessing. Maybe all that therapy has been paying off!

2) I can do this job. Oh, the cash register is still often my nemesis and I take too long handling returns and exchanges. I know that, and I'm grateful customers are so patient with me. But here's the thing: I know the store better now and I have learned how to talk to shoppers. Today a woman was asking me specific questions about the different types of stationery in the back of the store and I answered her, but in talking to her I discerned that conventional stationery isn't what she needed at all. She wanted 2"x3.5" cards to create her own business card. As I steered her to a different part of the store and set her up with our collection of card stock in that size she could make a considered choice, I thought to myself, "Look at me! After three months, I know how to do this job with little help!"

3) I can be a comfort. Today my boss Jen (she of the green ribbon) told me that her 7-year-old daughter self harms. The girl picks at her fingertips until they bleed and bandages and antibiotic ointment are required. Her parents love her and are trying to help. Teachers are involved, a therapist is seen weekly. I was shocked not only by the situation but that Jen, a woman who seems so very in control and proud of it, was confiding all this in me. Especially because we've only known one another three months. I like that about myself: she sensed that I would have compassion for her little girl, and I do. I could tell she felt better after confiding in me. I like that about myself, too.

Three Nice Things About Myself -- Day 4

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 4:

1) I didn't spend any money. Oh, I wanted to! It was unseasonably warm today (69º in March!) and I wanted to wander up to my favorite hot dog stand to celebrate this single day of spring. But I have a budget and I like that I'm sticking to it.

2) I made the dull, boring phone call. It wasn't just the cash that kept me from walking to the hot dog stand this afternoon. I had to straighten out a discrepancy on my dental insurance EOB. Would I rather walk in the sunshine or sit on hold? I like myself for showing some discipline.

3) I was kind. When I interviewed for the job at the card shop, my boss CeeCee said her top requirement of me is that I "be kind." Today, I was. An elderly lady was trying to find thank you notes that would fit her budget. I went through our sale bin for/with her -- her vision isn't great -- and found a selection for her. Then, right after I rang her up, she got buyer's remorse and wanted to exchange two of them. I told her not to worry about it, this is what I'm here for.

Three Nice Things About Myself -- Day 3

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 3:

1) I'm a Swiftie. Little girls were selling friendship bracelets from a card table in their front yard. "1$" said the sign. I bought one. The girls were unutterably adorable and I think I was their only customer. I like that I notice things in my neighborhood and that I'm willing to stop. 

2) I'm a good cat mom. Connie and Roy Hobbs are comfortable, with me and with one another. I believe that's because I let them be cats and don't try to train them or change them. As I watch a friend attempt to make her cats conform to some preconceived notion of how they should behave, I am grateful that I have such respect for their feline idiosyncrasies and spirits. (I think I inherited this from my mom.)

3) I remembered. When I got out of bed this morning, my back felt creaky. I haven't been able to attend yoga class and I haven't been doing my morning stretches and now I hurt. But instead of beating myself up for forgetting the stretches, I shall avoid the negative self talk and celebrate that today I remembered. I did my stretches.

 

Sunday Stealing

 CRAFTY, FROM SWATBOT

1. What (if anything) are you doing to celebrate St Patrick's Day? I don't know. It's a couple Sundays away.

2. What is your least favorite color (to wear, to craft with or to decorate with)? I don't look good in yellow. It makes my skin look sallow.

3. At a yellow light - do you speed up or slow down? I don't drive. I like to think, though, that I'd slow down because I'd be a cautious and defensive driver.

4. How many pairs of scissors are in your craft room? I don't have a craft room

5. What are the first three items you have 'saved for later' on Amazon? 1) Arm and Hammer Cat Litter 2) Viralys L-Lysine Supplement for Cats (out of stock) 3) Fexofenadine Allergy Relief. Glamorous, huh?

6. Did you plant any springs bulbs in your garden and if so, have any of them come up yet? No yard.

7. What book, if any, are you reading right now?

Learn about it here

8. Do you prefer ball point pens, gel pens, or thin tip markers to write with? Ball points are my first choice because they are so dependable. These Stabilo markers are my second choice, for color.

9. What is your favorite crafting item - the craft item thing you use the most or can't live without? (Exclude basic items like scissors and glue). I don't craft.

10. What are the first 3 items on your grocery list and what is your favorite grocery store? Paper towels, Coke, Gerber baby food meats (for my cat, Connie). I tend to grocery shop at Target.

11. What unfinished craft projects are you working on (or not:) at the moment? I don't craft. Really, I don't.

12. What was the last item you pinned on Pinterest? Or hearted on Instagram. I don't use those social media platforms.

13. What is the biggest tourist attraction where you live? According to Tripadvisor, it's The Art Institute of Chicago.

14. What color is your favorite sweater? Blue

15. How does your family react when you get a big pile of mail? I live alone. Sorry. (I'm not at all sorry I live alone, I'm sorry I don't have a good answer to this question.)

 

 

 

Three Nice Things About Myself -- Day 2

 

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 2:

1) I maintain my sense of humor. A lot went wrong today, all before 1:00. My dental insurance carrier seems to have forgotten me and denied a claim, my LYFT driver's car smelled like Swisher Sweets, I placed my lunch order at the wrong location and ended up forfeiting my $20.00 tab* ... But I'm still smiling. It helps to imagine myself Lucy Ricardo for the new millennium. Sometimes I swear I can hear the laugh track.

2) I spread the wealth. When grocery shopping yesterday I saved a little of my budget for the little mom'n'pop on the other side of town. I knew I'd be nearby today for a stop at the vet and I want to support them. I bought my paper towels, canned goods and a container of mashed potatoes from the deli counter. Independent stores like this one are important, if inconvenient for me, and I want to help them succeed. I like myself for noticing what makes my community special and, as they say, putting my money where my mouth is.

3) I have pretty handwriting. I put it to good use, encouraging voters to sign up for Vote by Mail.

 

*Completely my fault. I didn't look at what I was doing on the site and clicked the wrong box. The manager of that location couldn't have been nicer but explained that $20 wasn't enough for their minimum delivery and besides, even if he waived that, the food would be cold by the time he could get it to me. I said 5 miles is an awfully long walk and to give my lunch to the kitchen staff with my compliments. The manager took my name and told me to come in for anything I want "next time, on the house." Yeah, that's gonna happen. But I deserve this. I should pay a price for not paying attention. However, when the Mastercard bill comes, Ricky will tell me I have some 'splaining to do.

Saturday 9

 
Saturday 9: Blame It on the Bossa Nova (1963)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song tells the story of a girl who found love at a dance. Share a happy memory from a party, prom or dance you attended. The first thing that popped into my head was a surprise party I threw in high school. Ann's birthday was November 1. I told her I was having a Halloween party and asked her to please come in costume. I'll always remember Ann's surprised and delighted face -- covered in clown makeup, complete with red nose -- when she realized the party was really for her, and that she was the only one in costume. I bet it's something she still remembers fondly to this day.

2) This record was a big hit for Eydie Gorme, which surprised her. When she first heard the song, she disliked it and had to be convinced to her record it. Tell us about a pleasant surprise you had recently. My tax refund came earlier than I expected. Direct deposited cash is always pleasant.

3) "Blame It on the Bossa Nova" is about love at first sight on the dance floor. Eydie's husband Steve Lawrence maintained he fell in love with her the first time he heard her sing. Have you ever felt a sudden, powerful attraction to someone? If yes, did you act on it? Yes and yes.

4) While this was a solo success for Eydie, she was also known for recording and performing with Steve Lawrence. He was just 22 and she was 29 when they married. Eydie admitted she was self-conscious about the difference in their ages. Do you think age matters in a romantic relationship? I suppose. But I don't think 7 years is big enough to have a real impact.

5) Eydie was fluent in Spanish, which enabled her to pay for her classes at City College by working as an interpreter. Tell us about one of your early jobs. I loved babysitting. It was great. The kids went to bed before 9:00 and then I got paid to drink pop, eat potato chips and watch old movies on TV.

6) In 1963, when this song was popular, The Rambler was Motor Trend's car of the year. It was a 9-passenger station wagon, perfect for families. What do you remember about your childhood family car? It was a red Lincoln Continental. My dad loved that car so much and was quite proud of it. I didn't give it much thought at all, except that it looked like a big boat, which made it easy to find in parking lots.

The municipal flag of Berne features a bear

7) Also in 1963, President Kennedy made a state trip to Ireland. Have you visited the land of your ancestors? Yes, I did. My paternal grandfather was from Berne, Germany, and I visited it during my one and only trip to Europe. Berne was impressive, but I didn't feel any great attachment to it. Perhaps because Grandpa was so patriotic and always referred to Germany as "the place we left."

8) The pilot for Gilligan's Island was filmed in 1963. Were you a fan of the show? Nope. But I can still sing the theme. "Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip ..."

9) Random question: Crunchy, smooth or organic peanut butter? Just not organic. I hate that oil at the top of the jar. Shudder.

 
 

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 1

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post on Tuesday that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 1:

1) My checkbook is balanced. This means I identified the adult things I don't like -- math and attention to detail -- and did them anyway because if I don't take care of me, no one will.

2) My passion is infectious. Sometimes when I geek out about things I love, I worry that I'm too much, but I recently got feedback that's not the case. My friend Gregory gave me four big beautiful coffee table books about The Golden Age of Hollywood because he knows how much I love old movies. Then he texted me about Ms. Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries, a PBS series set in the 1960s, a time I have great affection for. So I guess my enthusiasm can be kinda charming.

3) I put in the time. My friend Elaine is going through some shit. She wants to unretire and find another full-time job in her chosen career, and it's hard. She has added a second cat to her household and it's not going as she expected. I've been here for her as a sounding board regarding her career and a source of information about being a cat mom.

Worry, worry, worry

I do this to myself, you know. This tension, this stress. I worry about things that may happen but may not.

For example, about a month ago, Gregory invited me to lunch. He's sorting through his books and came upon some big, beautiful coffee table tomes about Hollywood he thought I would like, and he wanted me to have them before I go to the TCM Classic Film Festival in April. Sounds simple, right? And nice.

But I turned it into "a thing." I worried myself mad because in the 40+ years we've known one another, Gregory and I have never been alone together. For all the Thanksgiving dinners and summer lunches and birthday parties we've enjoyed together, we have always been part of a group. 

So what was up? Why did he really want to see me? Would we get along?

We met yesterday. I had a burger, he had clam chowder. The books are beautiful. We never ran out of things to talk about.

Why did I waste all that time worrying?

Then there's the mess with the condo board. Our building is in violation. We have the wrong smoke detectors. Some light bulbs in the hallways are out. There are cracks in the pillars in the parking lot. Etc., etc., etc. Jeremy in "Code Enforcement" sent the SECOND NOTICE to me. Just me. There are three of us on the Board but mine is the only name on the letter. I'm not even president!

I completely freaked out. 

Then I realized that 1) I cannot be solely responsible, since we have a management company and there are two other board members and 2) I never received a first notice. Neither did the management company. So that may buy us time in rectifying these situations.

Breathe, Gal, breathe.

Besides, it's Friday evening. Nothing of consequence is going to happen this weekend. I've texted the Board president (haven't heard back) and emailed everyone involved on our end, asking for ideas about next steps. I've done what I can do.

I have to try to let it all go, at least till Monday. 

Thursday Thirteen #350

MY 13 Favorite TV Shows of All Time. Last week I did a TT based on the list of the 100 best shows appeared in Variety last year. I only listed the top 13 because, after all, this isn't the Thursday 100. 

Below is the list as I would have compiled it, with Variety's rank in parens. PS If you still have questions about the Variety list, I'm including the link again.

13. The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. NBC, 1962 to 1992. I grew up believing that this is how affluent adults behaved. Johnny dressed well, smoked, was articulate and very, very funny. In fact, he was funnier when he ad libbed after a joke bombed. BTW, for all you whiners who insist Kimmel and Colbert are "too political," as though picking on the POTUS is anything new or unique, watch the Carson reruns on Antenna TV. Johnny's monologues were full of derisive Watergate references, yuks aimed at Jimmy Carter's economic policies, and jokes about Reagan's acting career. Why do y'all insist on pretending Trump is a victim? Oh well, that's another post for another time. (Variety rank: 52 of 100)

12. Magnum, PI. CBS. 1980 to 1988. I love Tom Selleck's man-child with his pranks, his giggle and that rubber chicken. I wish he would return to comedy. On a more serious note, I appreciated that Vietnam vets were shown as loyal, functioning/recovering and productive -- not messed-up victims. I've been to Hawaii twice and enjoy how lovingly it's portrayed. It's like another character. (Not in Variety's 100)

11. M*A*S*H. CBS. 1972-1983. In a way, this one is like Magnum in that it used humor to deliver a very serious message about how war affects the combatants. While I had a mad crush on Hawkeye in real time, when I rewatch, my favorite character is Col. Potter. He was so wise and multi-faceted. (Variety rank: 24)

10. Saturday Night Live. NBC. 1975 to present. From Gilda and Chevy to Michael Che and Colin Jost, this show makes me laugh. Some casts have been better than others, but still, when something happens in the news I often wonder, "What will SNL do with this?" (Variety rank: 15)

9. Columbo. NBC.1971-78; ABC 1981-83. I'm new to this and I don't think I've seen all of them yet. Following Columbo as he figures out what we already know is a delight. As a lover of mystery novels, I wonder if this reverse story-telling would work as well on the page as it does on TV. (Variety rank: 85)

8. Will & Grace. NBC. 1998-2006. I love my friends, including the gay ones, and this show is about loving the people in our lives, regardless of who they love. No one on this show is anywhere near perfect and everyone is over the top, but I see them in my friends and me -- like Grace, I am tone deaf, unable to resist saying "I told you so," and I love TV waaaaay too much. After all, I've now done two consecutive TTs about it! (Variety rank: 93)

7. I Love Lucy. CBS. 1951-57. At a time when it was unusual for beautiful women to do physical comedy, Lucille Ball was fucking fearless as Lucy Ricardo. She was the very definition of "all in," stomping grapes, shoving chocolates into her bra and hawking Vitametavegamin. I also loved how much the four main characters loved one another. What good company the Mertzes and Ricardos are! (Variety rank: 1)

6. The West Wing. NBC. 1999-2006. I'm still a believer. I don't accept the paranoid notion of The Swamp and I consider politicians both public servants and my employees. This show recalls Washington DC before MAGA made it acceptable to storm the Capitol while waving the Confederate flag, and the Bartlett administration is balm for the aching soul of this idealistic Kennedy girl. (Variety rank: 25)

5. Sex and the City. HBO. 1998-2004. Last week I mentioned that I hate, loathe, despise and abominate Seinfeld and this show is everything Seinfeld isn't. The characters are three-dimensional and they actually like one another. Yes, they get on one another's nerves and of course, they can be snarky, but without the full-throated cynicism and contempt of Seinfeld. At one point, Mr. Big tells Miranda, Charlotte and Sam that they are the true loves of Carrie's life. Friendship: that's what this show is about. (Variety rank: 6)

4. Law & Order. NBC. 1990-2010 and 2021 to present. See my comments on The West Wing. While I know rogue cops exist and that policing is often unfair, I also believe being a policeman is very hard and most of them are heroes. While I know the justice system is imperfect and can be improved, I also respect it. I can hold all these thoughts in my head at the same time. I love how Law & Order reflects that. I also have my favorite cast members and named my cat after Det. Reynaldo Curtis. (Not in Variety's 100)

3. The Dick Van Dyke Show. CBS. 1961 to 1966. I think Dick Van Dyke may be the most extravagantly talented American ever. Really. At physical comedy he's as good as Lucille Ball and at delivering a line, he's as good as Johnny Carson. He can sing, he can dance, he can romance his lovely wife Laura as well as any leading man. There is literally nothing he can't do. The scripts are timeless and sophisticated. I like Laura's clothes, too. Very White House-era Jackie. I never tire of this show. (Variety rank: 45)

2. Mad Men. AMC. 2007-15. I know this show. I lived this show. It is, to borrow from All the President's men, both accurate and true about advertising, capitalism, and sex and romance. (Variety rank: 2)

1. Friends. NBC. 1994-2004. "Miss Chanandler Bong." "He's her lobster." "Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" "We were on a break." Oh. My. God! Could this show be any more quotable? I love Friends. I just do. Of course much of it has to do with the writing. But my enduring affection is also for the cast. Like SATC, this show is the anti-Seinfeld in its legit affection for the characters. (Variety rank: 29)

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

Sunday Stealing

SWAPBOT

1. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Nope. I've never smoked a joint, either. I am so entirely creeped out by the idea of taking in smoke and releasing it through my nose. I mean, ICK! EWW! Why? Plus smoking cannot not bother the people around you. It's just rude.

2. What do you think of hot dogs? I think of them often and consume them a couple times/month.

3. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Milk. I hate the smell of coffee almost as much as I hate the smell of cigarette/pot smoke.

4. What's your favorite piece of jewelry that you own? I like my My Intent necklaces. I rotate them depending on what I think I need that day. I choose from GRATITUDE, COMPASSION, FOCUS and NOW.

5. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Milk, water, Coke.

6. Like to travel? Yes and no. I like to see new places and long to return to dear familiar vacation spots from years gone by. I really enjoy hotels. But I hate flying and don't much enjoy road trips. I wish I could take Amtrak everywhere.

7. What should you be doing right now? According to my Connie Cat, who is right here beside me, I should be filling those food bowls.

8, Your phone rings. Who do you want it to be? I would give anything for it to be my friend, Henry.

9. Do you like to ride horses? Yes. I took riding lessons in junior high and would love to ride. But it's expensive and rather remote.

10. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Talker. I'm like Chandler on Friends. I've got to fill the silences.

11. What's in your pocket right now? Nothing. Right now I am wearing an oversized t-shirt as pajamas and there are no pockets.

12. Last thing that made you laugh? Last night I watched Born Yesterday, a delightful comedy from 1950, that we're discussing at this week's movie group. You can watch it, and see Judy Holliday's Oscar winning performance, for free here on YouTube.

13. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two. I think I'm going to have to replace the one in the bedroom soon. It's ancient, nearly 24 years old. But I don't like to add to the landfill until absolutely forced to.

14. Who's your loudest friend? My boss, CeeCee. Her voice really carries.

15. Favorite sports team? (If you don't have one, just state that ...) I don't have one. HA! I am told there are people who don't like baseball generally -- and the Cubs more specifically -- and I feel sorry for these people. Baseball is beautiful. It's symmetrical (everyone gets the same number of outs; no "sudden death" in America's past time). It can be as complex or simple as you let it be. It's iconic: you may not like sports but you know who Babe Ruth is, you've heard the phrase, "It ain't over till it's over," you know it's three strikes and you're out. Being a Cub fan is in my DNA. During the tumultuous 1960s, the only "safe" topic at family gatherings was Ernie Banks. My grandmother loved Ryne Sandberg. Anthony Rizzo's passion on the field and tireless charity work are an inspiration to me. My nephew's Cubbie love led him to become a baseball writer. We are Cub fans because that's how the Good Lord made us.