These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to
prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book
lovers responded, click here.
1. What are you currently reading? The Break by Marian Keyes. Amy and Hugh have been married for 17 years. Amy has been happy, but when a pair of deaths hit Hugh hard (first his dad, then a boyhood friend), she realizes Hugh is not. Still, she was gobsmacked when he tells her he wants six months off, "a break" from marriage. He wants to travel, to put himself first for a change, to get more out of life.
Will he come back? What if he falls in love with someone else? What if, after six months, shechanges and he no longer wants this different woman? How will she explain this to their daughters? Who will change the lightbulbs and empty the garbage?
So far this book is about the large and small ways Amy handles Hugh's midlife crisis. I'm enjoying it (Keyes always manages to wrest a smile from me, even in the sad bits) but I hope soon Amy stops just reacting and takes a deeper look at her life.
2. What did you recently finish reading?The Purple Diaries: Mary Astor and the Most Sensational Hollywood Scandal of the 1930s by Joseph Egan. Mary Astor was a major movie star who, on the rebound, married the wrong man. A doctor, he had no interest in her career or most of her friends. They didn't realize their incompatibility until they had a daughter. As was the custom within the moneyed set in the 30s, they began having affairs. They frequently talked of separation and divorce. They were no longer lovers or friends but they were not yet enemies.
Then he found her diary. YIKES!
In purple ink, Mary wrote candidly about how her new lover, an acclaimed playwright, satisfied her in bed ... implying her husband didn't. Compared to the playwright, he was uninterested and uninteresting. She also wrote about the doctor's drinking and how it exacerbated his temper. In short, she was not at all flattering. OK, she was brutal.
The doctor was hurt and angry. He retaliated by battling Mary for custody of their little girl and leaked diary pages (juicy stuff about her lover, not unflattering stuff about himself) to the press, hoping to blackmail Mary into submission.
The case dominated the front pages. False rumors about the rest of Mary's diary ran rampant (she purportedly kept a "box score" of every Hollywood stud she screwed) and studio heads actually pressured her to give up her daughter, just to make the case go away and stop embarrassing the movie industry.
Mary was tough, a mother with definite ideas of how her daughter should be raised, and she wasn't going anywhere. No matter how much pressure was brought to bear, she was going to see this through. She was also a good actress. No matter how upset she was, she remained unflappable in the courtroom by channeling the character she was playing. Regardless of the many different ways her husband's attorney called her a whore, Mary kept cool, under ladylike hats, with her hands folded in her lap.
I liked Mary. I also admired two other actresses of the day -- Ruth Chatterton and Florence Eldridge -- who risked the ire of the studio bosses (and therefore their careers) by sitting with Mary in court each day. GIRL POWER!
Here's JBKO's second-to-last driver's license. Her eyes aren't quite focused on the camera and so she looks a little sleepy. Tee hee. Turns out my girl was human after all.
There are far, FAR more photos of her looking terrific. Effortlessly fabulous. I'm sure someone out there has a picture of a pre-teen me wearing roller skates, but I promise you I didn't look this good.
Ah, you say that it's easy to look good in a posed shot. OK, how about this? She was 40+ when this was snapped with a telephoto lens by a photographer she dragged to court to stop.
And then there's this. Here is Jacqueline Bouvier's 1953 passport photo. I am in awe.
I suspect if she could speak to me, she'd tell me this part of her life came easily and didn't really matter so much. She took more pride in her mind and her love of learning and books, and as she once said herself, "I think my biggest achievement is that, after going through a rather difficult time, I consider myself comparatively sane."
I woke up scared again this morning. My second nightmare in as many nights. I have a vague memory of it being about Icky Grandma. She was dreadful, but she's also been gone since I was in high school.
I had a good day Saturday. Work is going well. There are dark clouds in the skies above, of course. Aren't there always? I'm worried about the dentist (Wednesday), concerned about Reynaldo's ongoing health problems, aware that the next BIG PROJECT is due July 22 and I don't have any ideas ... But life is never perfect. I'm handling all this.
So what's up? The Cubs had another truly awful game, which brings us closer and closer to the team being disbanded. I am genuinely saddened by this. I've been watching the core players on this roster for six years. I don't want to say goodbye ... and what I want matters not one whit.
And then there was The Three Faces of Eve (1957). In the movie's climax, Eve finally remembers the childhood trauma that caused the fracture of her personality. At her grandmother's wake, six-year-old Eve was forced to kiss her grandmother's corpse goodbye, and it horrified her. Perhaps it upset me more than I thought it did.
I have to be more careful about the media I consume these days. What I watch and read has a bigger impact on me now than it normally would.
1. Do you ever feel completely rested and unrushed? Sunday morning usually finds me that way. I worry that when my congregation starts meeting in the church instead of on YouTube, I won't feel as unrushed.
2. If you had to wear all white for the entire day, how long before you spilled something on it? 90 seconds. The other day I somehow smeared makeup on my bra before I even got dressed.
3. What would you include inside of your emergency kit? Immodium, my migraine meds (naproxen), band-aids, kleenex, cough drops, alcohol, antibiotic ointment and hydrocortisone cream.
4. What’s more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? Two barrels full of monkeys.
5. Is it hard for you to let go of certain things, even if you have too many of them? Yes. Very hard.
6.
When was the last time you were ready to throw in the proverbial towel?
Did you end up letting go, or decided to fight on anyway? I'm close to throwing in the towel with the condo board. It's really fucked up. I'm trying my best to stick with it because I think I can make a difference. But I wonder if it's worth the effort.
7. What is the color of awesome? Cubbie blue! (Though these days, I must expand my definition of "awesome" to accommodate it.)
8. What is your favorite black and white movie? Laura (1944).
9. If you could describe your mood in a color today, what color would it be? Cream. Off white.
10. If you could wish for anything and it would come true, you wish for? I would like a lot of money. Like $750,000. I could retire, and then I could help John, Henry and my oldest friend in ways that would lighten their loads.
11. What are some of the wacky things that you like to do? Depends on how you define "wacky."
12. If you could have any author –living or dead – write your biography, who would you choose? Carrie Fisher.
13. If you could be a “fly on the wall” anywhere and at any time in history, where and when would you choose? The White House, January 6, 2021. Then I'd know, once and for all, if the President of the United States was part of a plot to overthrow the nation he placed his hand on the Bible and swore to lead.
14.What is the last thing you made from scratch? Cookies.
15. When we are able to travel again, where would you love to go? So many places! I have plans to go back to Key West for Christmas.
I woke up today feeling kinda ... bleh. Joanna and I had long planned to get together today. A Francophile, she volunteered to help out at a local boutique's Bastille Day event. When it was over at about 3:00, we were going to meet for a late lunch/early dinner. Then, Wednesday she let me know she had to cancel. Self-employed, she had a project that demanded her attention and she just couldn't afford to choose volunteer work over a paying assignment. I certainly understood and would have done the same thing in her position. But I was sad nevertheless. I keep getting stymied as I try to take tentative steps back into the post-Covid world.
When I turned on my cell this morning, I saw a text from Nancy. She and her her husband were going to be in my neighborhood. They'd been cleaning out their closets and wanted to donate their used running shoes to Soles4Souls, and there's a drop-off location nearby. There's also Nancy's favorite bookseller. She asked if, she was going to be literally around the corner from me, I wanted to meet them for lunch.
YES! YES! YES! Suddenly I was smiling again.
I like Nancy. I like her husband. Their life isn't perfect, of course. 2020 saw the death of Nancy's son and she's still not over that. (May never be over that.) But they aren't as complicated as John, Henry, Kathy or my oldest friend. They're easier to talk to and laugh with.
It was good to enjoy brunch -- complete with a screwdriver -- with them.
Joanna is going to try to make it out here next weekend, too. I feel like I'm emerging from my Covid cocoon.
Saturday 9: Mairzy Doats (1944) Unfamiliar with this song? Hear it here.
1)
While today this is considered a children's song, "Mairzy Doats" was a
#1 hit and a staple on radio stations in 1944. Do you know any of
today's most popular songs? (Here's this week's Hot 100.) Nope. I recognize the artists (Dua Lipa, Lil Nas X, Ed Sheeran, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber) but not the songs. This exercise made me feel most unhip.
2)
One of the song's writers recalled that the song was inspired by an old
English nursery rhyme. Tell us a rhyme you remember from childhood. "Jack be nimble, jack be quick, jack jumped over the candlestick and burned his pants off." That's exactly the way my mom taught it to me. I was very lively and mischievous as a child and she was terrified I'd actually try the candle thing, so she tried to make the rhyme a cautionary tale. I was so embarrassed when I recited it at school and my teacher called me a "smart aleck."
3)
This week's group, The Merry Macs, was formed by three brothers --
Judd, Joe and Ted McMichael -- who learned to harmonize at home. Did you
grow up in a musical household? Not at all. My dad liked to sing along with the radio in the car, and I always had music on in my room, but that's it.
4)
When the McMichaels decided their new group needed a woman's voice,
they asked Cheri McKay to join them. Realizing all their names began
with Mc, they began calling themselves The Merry Macs. Have you ever
performed with a singing group? (Yes, that garage band you played in
after school counts.) If yes, what was your band called? I have nothing for this. 5)
The Merry Macs' first gigs were playing high school dances. Do you have
any memories of school dances you'd like to share this morning? For some reason, the first memory that popped into my head was from junior high. The first time I danced with a boy was to a song called "Things I'd Like to Say." I found him on LinkedIn and he's now a "retired investor."
6)
Once their recording career took off, The Merry Macs went to Hollywood.
They appeared in a film with the comedy team of Abbott and Costello.
Who last made you laugh? PJ, who works at the vet's office. I don't recall what she said, exactly, but she always makes me laugh. 7)
In 1944, when "Mairzy Doats" topped the charts, sunscreen was invented.
It was first developed to protect soldiers during WWII, and that
original formula was sold to Coppertone. Do you regularly use sunscreen? It's been so hot, and I've been working so hard, that I've seldom been outside this summer. This makes me sad.
8)
Also in 1944, a board game called Murder! was introduced in England. In
1949 it made its way to the United States and was renamed Clue. It's
still popular today. Can you name any of the original 6 "characters" in
the Clue game? (Extra credit: One was replaced in 2016; who was it?) Mr. Green, Professor Plum, Mrs. White, Miss Scarlett, Mrs. Peacock. That was from memory. I know Mrs. White was replaced by Dr. Orchid, but that's because I looked it up. The game my nephew and I often played included the original six.
9)
Random question: The new house you just bought comes with a big mirror
on the ceiling of the master bedroom. Would you take it down or leave it
there? It would have to come down before I even slept there. I can't imagine waking up and having the first thing I see is my reflection with smeared mascara and messy hair. YECH!
This roller coaster is Cardinal red and Cubbie blue, and it represents how I feel about baseball right now.
24-hours ago, I was miserable. Cubs President Jed Hoyer made it plain that trades would be made ... and soon. Met fans on Twitter were jubilant that Kris Bryant would be theirs before the end of the month. Since KB puts the BRY in BRYZZO, I was bereft.
Then Boston fans started gloating that my favorite most Cub, Anthony Rizzo, would soon be returning to the Red Sox, the team that signed him when he was still a teenager battling cancer. They are gleefully anticipating Rizz leading them to a World Series in an ending befitting a Hollywood movie. Losing Rizz would break my heart in more ways than I can count.
The end of Bryzzo. I want to cry,
Then my guys rallied today to beat the arch-rival Cardinals most decisively. The team on the field today didn't look like they'd just lost an epic 10 straight. Bryzzo each got a hit!
I am happy. I celebrated with a creamsickle float.*
*The latest offering at the local ice cream shop: Fanta orange soda and vanilla custard. I highly recommend it.
When the photos of 6'5 Barron Trump appeared yesterday, and memes comparing him to NBA players cropped up, Chelsea Clinton pleaded with the tweeters to just stop.
We can recall the bullying tweets posted by Barron's father. Candidate Trump made fun of Heidi Cruz' face. The President of the United States did not think it was beneath the dignity of the office to call people he didn't like "dopey," "low class slob," "dummy" and "clown."
We can all remember Barron's father honoring Rush Limbaugh with the Medal of Freedom. Rush famously called 13-year-old Chelsea "the White House dog."
We all know Barron's mother spread birther lies about Barack Obama without pausing a millisecond to consider how this would impact Sasha and Malia.
And yet noisy Christian Conservatives question the direction of the country with Democrats in charge, all the while holding the Trumps near their hearts.
I really, really want my faith back.
In the meantime, I'm so grateful that we now have a gentleman (how's that for an old-school term?) who is a gentle man in the Oval Office.Take his trip to Miami after the condo crisis. He touched the arm of Gov. Ron DeSantis and said, "Just tell me what you need." He did this even though DeSantis appears to be preparing to run against him. "We aren't going anywhere," he said, sitting across from Sen. Marco Rubio, showing solidarity with the Republican lawmaker when it comes to Federal response. Think about that. Biden was sharing the limelight with a member of the opposition party. Can you imagine Donald Trump (Mr. I Alone Can Fix It) doing that?
President Biden thanked the workers who are trying to recover bodies. It wasn't that long ago that elected Republicans refused to support the Capitol Hill police -- who protect them! -- with a formal investigation into the January 6 riot.
Somehow President Biden managed to not callously fling paper towels at anyone while in Florida.
Going back to what I was taught in Sunday School, this month Joe Biden and Chelsea Clinton have demonstrated Christian values.
Got a quick text from John today. He saw a doctor for the first time since 2019. He reports that she changed his medications and their dosages, hoping that will enhance his energy level and his life. She also scheduled an MRI and "heart tests" for him.
I'm relieved. He has been feeling so rotten over the last 3-4 months, I was afraid she was going to admit him. I'm grateful he was able to just see the doctor and then go home.
I'm also grateful that he remembered to let me know. Often when he's sick, he withdraws. I get it, because when I don't feel good, I just want to recharge and heal. But what John forgets is that I care about him. When I don't know what's going on with him, I'm stressed.
So this two sentence text -- received when I was waiting for my order at Panera (which they botched) -- was positive. Not only is he getting care, he's taking my feelings into account.
The Cubs have been very good for the past 20 years: Eight trips to the play-offs and, of course, the 2016 World Series. Both Lou Pinella and Joe Maddon won Manager of the Year. Geovany Soto and Kris Bryant both won Rookie of the Year. Jake Arrieta won the Cy Young and Kris Bryant won MVP. Derek Lee, Javier Baez and my two fave raves -- Greg Maddux and Anthony Rizzo -- won Gold Gloves for exceptional fielding.
It's been fun. Winning is better than losing.
On the other hand, I'm a lifelong Cub fan. I remember seasons where they finished 15 or 20 games out of first place. When winning just one more game than we lost felt like a dream come true. In a way, losing seasons are fun, too, because there's no pressure. Instead of the outcome of all 9 innings, I could concentrate on the moments, and say to myself, "That was an exciting catch," or "What a great at bat!"
So why have I found this extended losing streak so shattering? Because every loss brings us closer to the end of Bryzzo. Bryant and Rizzo. The heart of this team. Both of their contracts are up this year. The owners (BOO! HISS!) have not offered either of them an extension. If the team did well this year and appeared poised for the play-offs, management might keep the them together. After this 10-game skid, Kris Bryant might be gone before the trade deadline this month. This could very well be Rizzo's last season in Cubbie blue.
They attended one anothers weddings. KB always supports Rizz' charitable ventures (my favorite was the year he surprised fans and raised a ton in tips by acting as a waiter at Rizzo's Cook Off to Knock Out Cancer). They're funny together. They're my guys.
So it isn't whether they win or lose, it's how much longer will they be my guys.
Last night, during a genuinely dreadful game (Cubs lost their 10th straight), the Cubs broadcasters promoted an online auction for the Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation. More than $650,000 was raised to help families as they battle cancer.*
The top earner was a day of fishing in Fort Lauderdale with Anthony himself ($175,000). There was lots of autographed sports memorabilia, including a Michael Jordan basketball, Muhammad Ali boxing gloves, a Babe Ruth baseball. A local TV meteorologist made herself available for the day to school kids and raised $3,500.
This item especially intrigued me. First of all, the listing said it was donated by Andy Cohen personally. I wonder how Andy found out about the auction to make the donation. Secondly, I was surprised that there was much overlapping interest between Cub fans and Watch What Happens Live viewers. Last, I got a kick out of Andy's description of this item.
62 bids and $3,265. Nicely done, Andy!
*One thing I learned from my favorite-most Cub is that hospital parking is expensive. It's not unusual for parents to have to pay $30/day to park where their child is a patient! Combine that with the cost of lost wages, eating in the hospital cafeteria, daycare if the family has other children, and parking is an added expense families can't afford. One thing the Rizz' foundation does is reimburse families for parking. One less thing to worry about as they battle cancer together as a family.
A beautiful girl born to a poor family, her father saw her potential as a moneymaker and got her in front of movie cameras. As a teenager, she was seduced by John Barrymore and developed what would be considered today a healthy attitude toward sex, but back in the 1930s, she was viewed as almost voracious. What she wanted -- even more than the career, which came rather easily to her -- was a husband who could engage her both intellectually and physically. Doesn't every woman want that? Somehow Mary couldn't find it. Her first husband was her best friend, but they had little physical chemistry. He died suddenly and, grief-stricken and confused, she married a doctor with (ahem) very good hands. They were compatible in bed but he was left-brained. He didn't care about books, music, or movies. Just science, medicine, and hunting.
She and the doctor had a baby and then, realizing how disappointed they were in one another, starting cheating. He returned to a former lover, she took up with a popular playwright. They were en route to a rather amicable divorce.
Then her husband found her diaries. Her very personal diaries.
Mary Astor not only chronicled her extramarital sex life, she wrote about her true feelings. Her husband found her descriptions of him unforgivable. He wanted revenge, and knew the diary was a powerful weapon. And so a megastar whose name was right up there with Bogart, Gable and Harlow had to fight for both custody of her daughter AND to keep her juicy memoir out of open court ... and the press.
I like Mary Astor. She was the anti-Kardashian, trying to live a public life with dignity. I understand her hurt and angry husband, even though Dr. Thorpe is definitely the villain of the story. This is a great story, well told.
2. What did you recently finish reading?Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella. Twenty-something Lara Lington is at a crossroads professionally, financially and romantically. It's at this stressful time that an apparition appears to her. It's the ghost of her late, great-aunt Sadie, who has come back as a madcap, fashion-forward flapper ("twenties girl").
This book starts out silly. VERY SILLY. Even by Kinsella standards. (If you've read any of her popular Shopaholic books, you'll know what I mean.) The humor was so I Love Lucy meets Bewitched that I almost gave up on it.
But then, at about the halfway mark, the plot gelled and took off in an interesting direction. Sadie became a more dimensional person (can a ghost have three dimensions?) and therefore more sympathetic and less a mere goof. I found myself more involved with, and more touched by, this book at the end than I thought I'd be.
Last week I missed my Monday night movie group Zoom. I think it was the first time since we've moved online last year. But Monday had been a tough day at work after a long weekend of working, and I'd gotten the bad news about Reynaldo, and the condo board bullshit was getting more complicated ... and I didn't really get the movie. I did kinda sorta see The Paradine Case, but I didn't give a shit about what I was watching and since it's Hitchcock, I really should pay attention if I'm to speak intelligently about it. Anyway, I blew it off.
Beginning Thursday, Elaine started texting me. She was concerned about me. For the past year, every time Reynaldo crashed one of our Zoom movie meetups, Elaine would IM me that she thought he was flirting with her. So when in her text she asked if he was OK, it was cute and clever. But, since there truly is something wrong with Rey, I took a day to reply, and did it via email so I could really explain it to her.
I knew from our lunch back in May (and from the furry roommates who make discreet appearances on her screen) that she has a dog and a cat. She bought them from breeders, which is a pebble in my shoe because so many completely lovable dogs and cats are languishing in shelters, but she does love and dote on them. I know that to her, they aren't investments or status symbols. So I was comfortable sharing with her about Rey Rey.
She emailed back that she's happy to pick me and Rey up in her van for vet appointments. She's retired now, has time and resources and is "happy to share the bounty" in her life. Then she texted photos of her cat in his new purple cat bed, looking regal (purple being the color of royalty).
I'm flattered that she wants to be friends with me. I'm touched by her kindness. I need new friends who aren't as fucked up* as John and Henry.
I also got a fireworks text from Joanna. She and I keep rescheduling on one another because of work, but hopefully we'll see each other this coming Saturday. I met her through movie group and bonded with her over cats, too. Maybe, as things open up more and more, the three of us can get together.
At any rate, I wanted to take a moment to note and feel good about this. To appreciate it.
1. 3 things I love. I love how I woke up this morning. 1) No alarm clock! 2) Clean sheets. 3) My cat Reynaldo curled up beside me.
2. Last song I listened to. "I'll Never Fall in Love Again" by Dionne Warwick. I remember it was on the radio yesterday when I was putting on my makeup.
3. Turn offs. Excessive heat and humidity.
4. What color underwear are you wearing right now? White.
5. How many tattoos do you have? None
6. How many piercings do you have? One in each ear. One tiny pearl stud in each ear, too. (Though not really pearl. I believe these were $2 at Claire's Boutique.)
7. Meaning behind my URL It was available.
8. What I find attractive in other people. I like people who take others as they come, accept our differences and celebrate what makes us each special. It's Sunday, so I'm thinking in terms of faith. With the explosion of social media, I've encountered so many Christians who seem so un-Christian! It makes me sad. I'd like my faith back, please.
9. Something that’s currently worrying me.My friend John's health. I fear that his stupid decisions about Medicare and Obamacare (i.e. not bothering to sign up for either of them!) may have done irreparable damage.
10. Something that’s constantly on my mind. My cat Reynaldo. He's 17 (84 in human years). He has arthritis, cataracts, chronic kidney disease, an overactive thyroid and now a heart murmur. The way the vet explained it to me, he's not so much sick as entering the last stages of his life. I love Rey very much and hope I am doing right by him. He is still happy and affectionate these days. I want his every last day to find him happy and affectionate.
11. My favorite store. I know I'm late to the party, but I just recently discovered Dollar Tree. It's a fascinating experience, different items every time! Also, I've been to two locations here in my neighborhood and the people who work there are so pleasant. Which surprises me because the store has such a no-frills atmosphere you'd think they'd be depressed. But they're friendly and upbeat.
12. What I did yesterday. Watched a classic film (Stagecoach from 1939) and a best forgotten ball game (my Cubs lost their 8th in row!)
13. My favorite blog I feel like I really knowKwizgiver through her blog.
14. Someone I miss I miss my favorite uncle every day, and more than I thought I would. I was closer to my late mother, but our relationship was complicated, as parent-child relationships always are. My relationship with my uncle was simpler and less fraught. Funny, because he was a very complicated man. Fiercely independent and prickly. I bet my sisters don't miss him at all. I know he and his own daughter had their ups and downs (which I recognize were mostly his fault). But he and I clicked somehow. I think maybe because I was born when he was still in his teens, and my mom asked him to be my godfather. Anyway, I believe that he's my guardian angel.
My uncle was a Vietnam war vet. He loved "the wall." This is for him and for the day.
15. Reason why I follow Sunday Stealing My slavish devotion to Bud
TCM has said that they are planning on a classic film festival in 2022. Festival veterans have done some investigating and discovered five consecutive days in April when the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel (ground zero for the festival) is completely booked. April is when the festival has been for the last decade.
So I booked a room for that week at the Hollywood Celebrity Hotel, just a few blocks away from the Roosevelt (and far less luxurious or expensive). There's a no-fee cancellation policy, so why not?
The nice thing about no vacation in 2020 is that I've accumulated a ton of credit card airline miles. I can fly to Los Angeles for free.
I've had a rough week. I'm tired and a little blue. Booking this hotel seemed like a positive, optimistic thing to do.
1) An early handwritten manuscript of "The Star Spangled Banner" (complete with scratch outs) is preserved at the Maryland Historical Society.
Today, much of what we write is preserved in The Cloud. Do you often
write down your thoughts with pen or pencil? Or do you do everything on
your laptop, pad or phone? Oh, my God! In this way I am becoming my late mother! She used to keep a small, spiral-bound notebook beside the phone in the living room. It's where she sat to watch TV, too. So if she heard something on TV, or someone mentioned something to her in a call, she'd make a note of it. Easy enough. Smart, too. But for some reason (lazy? wanting to save paper?) she seldom turned the page. Scribbled notations on a variety of subjects were crammed together. She could never find what she meant to remember. "I have it right here ..."
I look at the handwritten notes next to my "workstation" in the dining room. Titles of Margaret Sullavan movies available to stream are scribbled beside billing codes for my timesheets beside 800 #'s for fuck-if-I-remember. All on the same page. For pity's sake, Gal! Turn the page!
2) It's well-known that the lyrics
were written by Francis Scott Key. Not so well known is John Stafford
Smith, the British composer who gave us the music. He is buried in
England's Gloucester Cathedral, under both the US and UK flags. Where is
the nearest United States flag waving near you right now? If you stand in front of the post office, just around the corner from me, you can see three big flags, all at once. 1) Post office, 2) library, 3) war memorial.
3)
This week's video features Lady Gaga singing The National Anthem before
the 2016 Super Bowl. She also performed it at President Biden's
Inauguration last January. When is the last time you sang it? I don't recall the last time I saw I sang it, but I know the next time will be at Wrigley Field on July 23, when my nephew and I watch the Cubs play the Diamondbacks.
4)
Our second and third Presidents, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, both
died on July 4, 1826. OK, it's your turn. Share a Presidential fact. Here are two bits of trivia about my favorite POTUSes:
a. Tom Hanks is the third cousin of Abraham Lincoln.
b. John F. Kennedy unfailingly requested soup for lunch, regardless of the weather. New England clam chowder was his favorite, but he wasn't picky.
Because I am a nerd about these things, this will undoubtedly be my favorite response to check this week.
5)
John Hancock said his signature on the Declaration of Independence was
intentionally large so King George could see it without his glasses. Do
you need glasses to read? Only for very small print. Mostly I need my glasses to see things at a distance.
6) The Revolutionary War still raged
during that summer of 1777. General George Washington allowed his
soldiers to celebrate with a double ration of run on July 4. Will you be
toasting the United States with an adult beverage this weekend? There's a bottle of Jose Cuervo in my kitchen that may get my attention.
7)
Since this year, July 4th falls on a Sunday, banks and post offices
will be closed will be closed on Monday. Thanks to email and ATMs, Sam
doesn't find this a hardship. How about you? Do you find it inconvenient
to go an extra day without regular USPS delivery or access to a teller at
the bank? Not at all.
8) Celebrity chef Rachael Ray says she considers
mini-hamburgers, or "sliders," the All-American food. What will you be
eating this 4th of July? I picked up some chicken salad at the deli counter. They make it with almonds. I love it.
9) The 4th of July is a highlight of
the summer season. Have you yet suffered the traditional warm weather
maladies: sunburn or bug bites? Not yet. (And hopefully I'll make it to Labor Day without either one.)
I spent almost two hours on the phone with John Friday morning. Normally I would consider this a good thing. But this wasn't "normally." No, wait, it's becoming our normal. Let me explain.
We were supposed to spend my day off together. In person. For his birthday. We were going to have lunch at Italian Village. His choice. It's a venerable Chicago institution. I was enthusiastic about it because I haven't seen him -- literally -- in a year. Not since his last birthday. He completely forgot my November birthday until the last minute and then, with enhanced corona restrictions, we were unable to get together. Then he'd cancelled on me a couple of times because he couldn't make it. Literally couldn't. It turns out he'd been hoarding and meting out his meds and was doing a bad job of it. Even though he's diabetic and suffers from chronic heart disease, he hasn't seen a doctor since 2019. Because he never bothered to sign up for Medicare. Just writing these words makes me angry. A man with serious pre-existing conditions willingly went through a pandemic without healthcare. He claimed it was a money thing, but he managed to visit his "home away from home," aka the bar up the street, several times a week.
He's been hobbling with a cane because he needs help to walk any distance. He tires that easily. He took hours-long naps every afternoon. He had trouble breathing. But, since he finally got his entire prescriptions filled, we thought those days were behind us. Even better, as of today, he's covered by Medicare and has an appointment with a cardiologist. So I thought the illness cancellations were behind us.
I thought we could celebrate his birthday, America's birthday, and the reopening of Chicago Friday afternoon. I thought we could share appetizers and enjoy our big plates of pasta in one of the Loop's classics. Then we were going to stroll (slowly) and check out what's happening as the city reawakens. Home by dark, all caught up, happy and filled with good food and friendship.
That was the plan.
But Friday morning he cancelled. Again.
He was OK to talk on the phone, and he was working up to a trip to the grocery store. Three blocks away. He had to work up to that. Then he planned to go back to bed. He is spending his actual birthday (Saturday) alone by design. Sunday he's going to a "low-key get-together" at his "home away from home." Just a drink and a burger, on the house. I suppose I could join him, but trains will be running on a special schedule and, frankly, I'm not in a good mood and I don't trust John not to cancel that, too.
I am sad. I miss my friend.
I am angry. He takes his own health and welfare so casually. I admit it, I'm in terrible shape. But I don't need a cane, I can stay awake and I am able to honor my commitments. How is he satisfied with living this way?
I am resentful. I didn't make any other plans for this weekend because I prepared to spend $150 or so (more counting the gift*) on John Friday. I thought it would be sensible to do my celebrating on Friday and then save the money I'd be spending on Ubers and drinks. Now I'm alone over July 4th. Thanks, John.
We have been friends for 40+ years. He is part of the fabric of my life. I love him. I hate what he is doing to himself. I hate how it affects me. I don't understand how he is content to live like this. I am very tired and sad.
*It's a great gift, if I do say so myself. I had a set of coasters made specially for him, stamped with the name of his "home away from home." And I got him giftcards to DoorDash and GrubHub. I was going to tell him I wanted him to still be able to eat during the dogs days of summer when it's too hot to go out. I didn't know how prescient I was.
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to
prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book
lovers responded, click here.
1. What are you currently reading? Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella. Lara Litton is struggling -- romantically, professionally and financially. She's fragile and vulnerable, so when she begins seeing an apparition, it's easy to dismiss it as stress.
Only Sadie won't be dismissed. Lara's recently-deceased great aunt is now a fixture in Lara's life. Sadie appears to Lara (and only to Lara) as she was when she was happiest -- during her 1920's flapper/party girl days. She turns Lara's life upside down and leads her on zany adventures. (Yes, "zany" is the right word. If you've read any of Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic books, you know she specializes in "zany.")
I enjoyed The Ghost and Mrs. Muir so much (see below) that, when I stumbled upon this book, I snapped it up. But it suffers from the comparison. This is funny and fast-moving, but it lacks the character development and emotional depth of R. A. Dick's much shorter book. Maybe the fault is with me. Perhaps it's unfair to compare modern chick-lit to a 75-year-old classic.
Mrs. Muir was a petite woman who tried not to make waves. Consequently, everyone called her "Little Lucy Muir." When her husband died suddenly, leaving her a young widow with two small children and limited funds, she found herself surrounded by in-laws, all with an idea of how "Little Lucy" should live. She shocked them by rebelling. After all, she'd gone from her parents' house to her husband's house. She didn't want to be a guest in her sister-in-law's home. So she took a cottage of her own for herself and the children. Her husband's family figured it was just a matter of time before she returned to them.
It seemed like a good bet. The house Mrs. Muir chose for herself and her kids was Gull Cottage: long empty, and rumored to be haunted.
A dead sea captain's ghost refuses to leave the house where he died. Somehow she's not afraid of him, which surprises her as she had begun to believe she really was meek "Little Lucy Muir." The ghost falls in love with her. They have a necessarily chaste relationship but she blossoms under his attention. He never saw "Little Lucy Muir." He saw her as "Lucia."
In addition to the romance, there are interesting observations about self image, spirituality and eternity. This slim volume was a delight on many levels. I'm so glad I read it.
1. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Am I doing the surprising (which I enjoy) or being surprised (which I'm not always a fan of)?
2. In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Which relative? If my cousin, niece, nephew or aunt is here, I'd like to visit. Otherwise, I'll choose a movie.
3. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I've been there twice and, if it wasn't for the length of the flight, would happily go for a return trip. I've heard about a beachfront spa at the Hilton in Waikiki that I think needs a visit from me.
4. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Win the lottery! I've enjoyed my career enormously and, if I was 33 instead of 63, I'd choose the job. I've been fantasizing about this again since seeing In the Heights and hearing the song "If I Won the Lotto."
5. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 1992. My career was beginning to take off, I was in love and felt sexy, and I was a Clinton campaign volunteer. That was my first winning campaign and the most fun.
6. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? The internet. Because I play games, email, listen to music, Zoom and watch movies, all from my laptop. Amazing, when you think of it.
7. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Lots and lots.
8. What would you do if you won the lottery? Today, the Illinois State Lottery jackpot is $7,250,000. After taxes, I'd have about $4,500,000. I would: RETIRE! Pay off my bills and my mortgage, make minimal updates to my condo so I could sell it and buy a nicer place (and I'd have a maid service every week). I'd help my friends in very specific ways. I'd set up an account at a veterinarian in Key West, so Henry and Reg can always give their beloved dogs the care they need, regardless of their finances. Similarly, I'd set up an Uber/Lyft account for my oldest friend. She no longer drives and her world has gotten so much smaller as she waits for relatives to drive her places.
9. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Yes, please! I miss public transportation being plentiful and safe. Hopefully it's on its way back after covid19.
10. What's your favorite zoo animal? The okapi. They're rare and gentle, and they communicate with one another by making a "chuff" noise.
11. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? Oh, I don't know! Do I want to change the world or change my life? This is simply too big a question for me today.
12. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three (two under my head). I sleep better if my head is elevated a bit.
13. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 20 hours. I was on deadline. I didn't so much fall asleep as surrender to it.
14. What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? I began my career at the Sears/Willis Tower (108 floors) and then worked for years in the AON Building (83 floors), so going to the top of tall buildings just feels like a busman's holiday. It's just not something I pay attention to.
15. What are your hobbies? Cubs baseball, TV, movies, reading, blogging.
