These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Worried
Received a text from my best friend stating, "The whole state of Colorado is on fire." He's visiting his father, who lives about 55 miles away, and can see flames from the front porch!
I wanted to reply, "Why the fuck are you visiting your dad today, when you live an hour to the south where it's (still) safe?"
I will be happier when I hear my friend is ensconced in his own home, where he belongs.
Photo credit
Sunday Stealing
101.
Name 4 things you always have with you. My keys, my glasses, my contact lens case and solution.
102. How many SERIOUS exes do you have? Two
103. What causes you to you admire people? Perseverance, brains
104. Do you like sports? I love Cubs baseball
105. Would you have sex after marriage? Why or why not? Isn't the point of getting married legally sanctioned sex?
106. What is your favorite male name? Michael
107. Do animals go to Heaven? First stop is the Rainbow Bridge
108. Last time you had a great time with your dad? He's been gone for decades. But the last one-on-one conversation we had was about his dad's watch. I recognized Grandpa's watch on his wrist and I was so happy to see it again. So we talked about Grandpa for a minute.
109. What is your favorite hair style? A nice, smooth chin-length bob. If only I could wear it!
110. Do you like your name? Not especially.
111. When was the last time that you quit your job? 10 years ago I laid myself off.
112. When you wake up, what is the first thing you think? "Is it a weekday or a weekend?"
113. Have you ever pulled an all-niter? God, yes
114. What is the perfect day for you? It involves a Cubs game and a rib eye
115. Last time you cleaned the bathroom? It could use a good scrub down right now. Are you volunteering to help?
116. Have you ever failed a grade? Why? No. I was a consistently average student.
117. Have you met anyone online? I met Book Mama and her lovely family for breakfast when they were vacationing in Chicago.
118. Have you ever smoked? No
119. Do you like celebrities? Some
120. Do you like traveling? I enjoy long train rides. I fly, but I don't enjoy it.
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Saturday, June 23, 2012
What's another $38/month?

She is so upset that she hasn't been able to call Blue Cross/Blue Shield. BC/BS is the company where she has her Medicare Part B. I know because I'm the one who chose it for her, years ago, and I'm the one who gives her money for the premiums.
She wants me to figure out how to fix this because she's "not comfortable" talking to insurance companies. I pushed back, telling her that she is the one who has the BC/BS card in her wallet. She is the one who knows how much money she gets from her reverse mortgage and from social security, not me.
Plus, I am trying hard not to run things and stop bossing other people around in their personal lives.
And I resent that my mother has two other daughters -- more conventional women that she understands better than she does me, women that she believes are more beautiful than I am -- that she's not bringing this to. She brought it to me. She could ask the family patriarch who molested me for help, the one whose portrait is so proudly displayed on her new wall of photos. But she asks me. Now, when I am trying to get my own finances straightened out so I can be comfortable in my own retirement.
I love my mother. I want her to be well and with us for years to come. For that, she needs her meds. So of course I will help her.
I know my mother loves me as much as she is able. And I appreciate the good things I have inherited from her -- my love of nature, my ability to find joy in the little things.
I already give her about $200/month. I think I just found myself on the hook for another $38/month. I want to give it to her with an open heart. That's going to take some work, some prayer, some introspection.
Wish me luck!
Moonrise Kingdom
I am not objective when it comes to Bruce Willis. I have been in love with him since the 1980s, when he smirked and swaggered his way into my living room as David Addison on Moonlighting. Then he fought bad guys and made things go boom! on the big screen in the highly entertaining Die Hard series. These starring roles have become so iconic that it's easy to forget how good he can be at quiet and compassionate (The Kid, The Sixth Sense and In Country).
Today I saw him in a little arthouse film called Moonrise Kingdom. Amid a cast of talented and quirky actors -- Frances MacDormand, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Bob Balaban and Ed Norton -- Bruce Willis stands out as the smalltown police officer, Captain Sharp. That may be his name, but Sharp is none too bright. And he knows it. But he is good of heart and he knows right from wrong and feels tremendous empathy, and that sets him apart from (and above) the other denizens of this whimsical make-believe place.
If you get a chance to see this one, do. It's a charming ode to (very) young love.
A WORD TO ANIMAL LOVERS: There's a kitten who, while in peril at certain points, lives to snooze safe and sound at the end. The camp's dog is not so lucky.
An unusual choice in parenting
Rielle Hunter appears with her four year old daughter on the cover of this week's People. Gulp.
While I am glad that the 4-year-old got to hear her father publicly acknowledge his love for her on the steps of the courthouse, I'm not sure that seeing her face above the Mentos at the checkout counter is good for her.
Nor do I think she needs to know all about her father and the shabby way he treated her mother, as well as his wife, Elizabeth Edwards, the mother of Quinn's half-siblings.
I understand she's too young to understand all this now. But once it's in the public domain, it's out there. I remember reading Jane Fonda's account of discovering the truth about her mother's death. Jane was 12 when her mother committed suicide during a stay in a sanitorium. Her father believed his daughter was too young for that information and told her instead that her mother had been admitted to a hospital, where she suddenly suffered a heartache. Jane later discovered the truth while at school. A stack of magazines had been left out for the students to use for a project, and in one was an article about how Henry Fonda's wife offed herself with a razor blade while in a mental institution.
I hate the thought that Quinn will stumble upon this issue of People someday. I wonder what impact this will have on her relationship with her brother (12) and sister (14).
It's not just glossy magazines, either. Ms. Hunter has already appeared on 20/20 and is scheduled for Piers Morgan Tonight and The View. I imagine that the questioning will be uncomfortable (if not brutal). With the wonder of YouTube, these interviews will live on forever.
I'm just a barren spinster, but this doesn't seem like smart parenting to me.
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind
1. Do you ever have trouble making up your mind? On little things, yes. On big things, not really.
2. Do you think you always learn from your mistakes? I try to. I'm not always successful.
3. Have you ever felt that you were either older or younger,
for your age during a particular time? I was pretty mature in junior high. I have been pretty immature ever since.
4. Have you had trouble losing weight? Only all the time!
5. Who's the most "wholesome" rock artist that you
like? Sir Paul. How cute was he?
6. Do you like to party or are you more of a homebody? Yes. It depends on my mood. I love good food, good drink and good conversation. I also love my alone time.
7. Do you feel the need to share your burdens? Yes. As Stevie Wonder sings, "That's What Friends Are For."
8. Do you know the lady next door? (yes, you can pick either
side.) Her name is Sarah. She's very nice.
9. Do you ever feel inferior? Yes!
Done!
I woke up this morning knowing that two of my ickiest chores of the week -- laundry and grocery shopping -- are done! It's a lovely feeling. Don't know what I'm going to do with myself this weekend, but whatever it is, it won't include laundry and grocery shopping.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Trifecta
This weekend's challenge: Retell your favorite book in 33 words.
With all due respect to the marvelous William Goldman:
S. Morgenstern writes of a humble farm boy who becomes a famous, yet dread, pirate. But in reality, he’s a hero who lives for justice, camaraderie, adventure, and his one true love, Buttercup.
With all due respect to the marvelous William Goldman:
S. Morgenstern writes of a humble farm boy who becomes a famous, yet dread, pirate. But in reality, he’s a hero who lives for justice, camaraderie, adventure, and his one true love, Buttercup.
A Word about Victims
I was the victim of abuse at the hands of two different men, at two different times in my life. First in my teens, then again in my 20s. I don't like to dwell on it, I don't like to identify myself this way, but not liking it doesn't change the reality or the impact it has had on my life.
This is why I am disturbed when people are so quick to hang the victim mantle on those who had power and used it to abuse others.
Betty Broderick maintains she was driven by abuse to enter her ex-husband's house, using keys removed from their daughter's purse without that poor girl's permission or knowledge, creep up the dark stairs and, pre-dawn, pump 5 bullets into their sleeping bodies. Yeah, they were asking for it. By sleeping in their own bed miles away from her. Betty was driven all right, in a car paid for by the ex-husband she shot. She is a murderer. An abused woman wants to avoid her tormentor. Betty was an angry and abandoned woman on a stalking mission. Yet I keep getting messages from women who tell me I am a bitch and Betty is a victim. Yeah, right. Ladies, if a man dumps you for a prettier and younger woman, it's sad and unfair but the wise course of action is to move on. It is NOT wise to buy a gun, practice shooting him and his new wife at the firing range, and then in an act of rage and supreme selfishness leave your children with a legacy of infamy -- but no parents.
Joe Paterno knew that something untoward was going on in his Penn State locker room and yet did little to stop it. Joe Pa was a god on that campus. He had power to have the situation investigated, if not stopped. He didn't do it. Yet I have received comments telling me that Paterno is a victim. No, he was an enabler. The boys who were sodomized were the victims. Gentlemen, if you don't want people to be contemptuous of you because you looked the other way when child abuse occurs, then don't look the other way. Man up and protect those who don't have power and need your help.
Oh, and while I'm it, I have some words of advice for "volunteer community watch commanders." You are not policemen. You are not protecting your neighbors when you carry that concealed gun on your rounds, you are trying to enhance your own perhaps fragile sense of your manhood. If the police tell you stay in their car and let them handle it, stay in your car and let them handle it. If you do not heed this warning and shoot an unarmed kid dead, then that dead kid is the victim, you are not.
And, since I'm feeling very wise, I advise you to explain to your wife that lying under oath is a crime, and if she gets busted, she won't be a victim, either.
Sometimes the world confuses me.
This is why I am disturbed when people are so quick to hang the victim mantle on those who had power and used it to abuse others.
Betty Broderick maintains she was driven by abuse to enter her ex-husband's house, using keys removed from their daughter's purse without that poor girl's permission or knowledge, creep up the dark stairs and, pre-dawn, pump 5 bullets into their sleeping bodies. Yeah, they were asking for it. By sleeping in their own bed miles away from her. Betty was driven all right, in a car paid for by the ex-husband she shot. She is a murderer. An abused woman wants to avoid her tormentor. Betty was an angry and abandoned woman on a stalking mission. Yet I keep getting messages from women who tell me I am a bitch and Betty is a victim. Yeah, right. Ladies, if a man dumps you for a prettier and younger woman, it's sad and unfair but the wise course of action is to move on. It is NOT wise to buy a gun, practice shooting him and his new wife at the firing range, and then in an act of rage and supreme selfishness leave your children with a legacy of infamy -- but no parents.
Joe Paterno knew that something untoward was going on in his Penn State locker room and yet did little to stop it. Joe Pa was a god on that campus. He had power to have the situation investigated, if not stopped. He didn't do it. Yet I have received comments telling me that Paterno is a victim. No, he was an enabler. The boys who were sodomized were the victims. Gentlemen, if you don't want people to be contemptuous of you because you looked the other way when child abuse occurs, then don't look the other way. Man up and protect those who don't have power and need your help.
Oh, and while I'm it, I have some words of advice for "volunteer community watch commanders." You are not policemen. You are not protecting your neighbors when you carry that concealed gun on your rounds, you are trying to enhance your own perhaps fragile sense of your manhood. If the police tell you stay in their car and let them handle it, stay in your car and let them handle it. If you do not heed this warning and shoot an unarmed kid dead, then that dead kid is the victim, you are not.
And, since I'm feeling very wise, I advise you to explain to your wife that lying under oath is a crime, and if she gets busted, she won't be a victim, either.
Sometimes the world confuses me.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
THURSDAY THIRTEEN #176
THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT JUNE, 1942
Sir Paul McCartney turned 70 (!) on June 18. He is still working, still participating in high-profile performances like the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the upcoming Opening Ceremonies of the London Olympics.
This got me thinking about how much the world has changed since he entered it.
1) King George VI (Elizabeth's father, the King of The King's Speech) was on the throne
2) The RAF performed bombing raids on Germany
3) London was a bomb-scarred city at war that was filling up with Allied servicemen
4) Feeding all the servicemen presented such a challenge that it was not uncommon for British universities and other public buildings to turn their basements over to raising hogs.
5) To support the war effort, the luxurious London hotel The Grosvenor House turned its roof into a vegetable garden
6) At night, Brits retired behind thick blackout drapes and the only lights evident from the streets were searchlights
7) Anne Frank turned 13 and received a diary for her birthday (the last one she would celebrate outside of hiding)
8) The United States Navy won The Battle of Midway
9) US Army Generals graced the covers of both Time and LIFE magazines
10) Civilian plane spotters were on the cover of The New Yorker
11) The movie Yankee Doodle Dandy starring James Cagney was released.
12) The soundtrack of the movie Holiday Inn starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire was released. It includes the song "White Christmas."
13) Walt Disney was promoting his upcoming animated family feature, Bambi.
Sir Paul McCartney turned 70 (!) on June 18. He is still working, still participating in high-profile performances like the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the upcoming Opening Ceremonies of the London Olympics.
This got me thinking about how much the world has changed since he entered it.
SEVENTY YEARS AGO THIS MONTH ...
1) King George VI (Elizabeth's father, the King of The King's Speech) was on the throne
2) The RAF performed bombing raids on Germany
3) London was a bomb-scarred city at war that was filling up with Allied servicemen
4) Feeding all the servicemen presented such a challenge that it was not uncommon for British universities and other public buildings to turn their basements over to raising hogs.
5) To support the war effort, the luxurious London hotel The Grosvenor House turned its roof into a vegetable garden
6) At night, Brits retired behind thick blackout drapes and the only lights evident from the streets were searchlights
7) Anne Frank turned 13 and received a diary for her birthday (the last one she would celebrate outside of hiding)
8) The United States Navy won The Battle of Midway
9) US Army Generals graced the covers of both Time and LIFE magazines
10) Civilian plane spotters were on the cover of The New Yorker
11) The movie Yankee Doodle Dandy starring James Cagney was released.
12) The soundtrack of the movie Holiday Inn starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire was released. It includes the song "White Christmas."
13) Walt Disney was promoting his upcoming animated family feature, Bambi.
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Well, I never!
Starlin Castro is awesome! Sometimes he's awesomely frustrating, but sometimes he's awesomely, scary-good. Like he was last night. Against the (hiss!) White Sox.
I've never seen anything like this catch. Which I have been watching over and over and over again.
I've never seen anything like this catch. Which I have been watching over and over and over again.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Annoyed!
My boss is sooo checked out. He's barely interested in what I'm doing. It wouldn't bother me if he then just let me alone to do my job. But no, we have to go through the motions of him being creative director. We present our work to him and he looks bored and underwhelmed. Then he disappears into his office and makes meaningless little revisions (change "personal finances" to "household budget" because he just likes it better that way) and makes sure we know he thinks what we do is meaningless and mundane.
For perspective, what we're doing now is developing new creative for a project that will go into the homes of 640,000 customers this September. It is estimated to be worth well over $1 million to our client. So it is important, if not to my boss.
It would be nice if he could manage to stay awake while reviewing it!
Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net
For perspective, what we're doing now is developing new creative for a project that will go into the homes of 640,000 customers this September. It is estimated to be worth well over $1 million to our client. So it is important, if not to my boss.
It would be nice if he could manage to stay awake while reviewing it!
Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net
A Word about Chicago Baseball
Remember what they taught in Sunday School -- "Blowing out another's candle won't make yours shine brighter?" White Sox fans sure don't.
It is a myth that I hate the Chicago White Sox. I'm sure their roster is filled with perfectly lovely young men. In fact, over the past decade I have developed a genuine fondness for infielder Paul Konerko.
It is true, however, that I hate White Sox fans. Why? Because they hate me. They live to blow out my happy little Cubbie candle.
Why are White Sox fans so hostile to Cub fans? It's just how they are. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Sox fans gotta hate.
Which is why I am sooooo happy when the Cubs kicked serious South side ass last night, and did it at the Cell.
I know this will ultimately be yet another disappointing season on the North side. I know the Sox will undoubtedly make the play offs.
But tonight's 12-3 win? As the song says, "They can't take that away from me."
It is a myth that I hate the Chicago White Sox. I'm sure their roster is filled with perfectly lovely young men. In fact, over the past decade I have developed a genuine fondness for infielder Paul Konerko.
It is true, however, that I hate White Sox fans. Why? Because they hate me. They live to blow out my happy little Cubbie candle.
Why are White Sox fans so hostile to Cub fans? It's just how they are. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Sox fans gotta hate.
Which is why I am sooooo happy when the Cubs kicked serious South side ass last night, and did it at the Cell.
I know this will ultimately be yet another disappointing season on the North side. I know the Sox will undoubtedly make the play offs.
But tonight's 12-3 win? As the song says, "They can't take that away from me."
Monday, June 18, 2012
After 12 years! And on Sir Paul's birthday!
My friend John was let go by his advertising agency today. After 12 years of service and good work! He was completely blindsided by this.
I know it was a difficult move for his agency to make, as many of the people in management like him personally, but right now I just want to go over there and yell, "FUCK YOU!"
He is my friend. He is of fragile health. He is 58 years old.
Plus, today is Sir Paul's birthday. Is canning people really the way we should celebrate a global treasure?
I know it was a difficult move for his agency to make, as many of the people in management like him personally, but right now I just want to go over there and yell, "FUCK YOU!"
He is my friend. He is of fragile health. He is 58 years old.
Plus, today is Sir Paul's birthday. Is canning people really the way we should celebrate a global treasure?
Oh. My.
Tom Cruise is a revelation in Rock of Ages. I saw it on stage almost two years ago, but it was a very different show. Back then, it revolved around lovestruck Drew and Sherrie and starred American Idol's Constantine Maroulis. He's a good singer and a winning personality and it was a fine time.
The movie, though, is raunchier. Way ranchier. And the dissipated Stacie Jaxx, now played by Cruise, has a much bigger role. He behaves in a far more unvarnished way than we tend to see stars of his caliber, and I am reminded again that he's a compelling screen presence when you can forget him jumping on and off Oprah's sofa.
He's also staggeringly well preserved. While the sight of his bare ass may not do for chaps what Pippa Middleton's backside did for white dresses, it was still quite memorable.
The movie, though, is raunchier. Way ranchier. And the dissipated Stacie Jaxx, now played by Cruise, has a much bigger role. He behaves in a far more unvarnished way than we tend to see stars of his caliber, and I am reminded again that he's a compelling screen presence when you can forget him jumping on and off Oprah's sofa.
He's also staggeringly well preserved. While the sight of his bare ass may not do for chaps what Pippa Middleton's backside did for white dresses, it was still quite memorable.
Trifecta

BLUE (adjective)
3 a : low in spirits : melancholy
b : marked by low spirits : depressing
She tried to follow her mother’s example and simply skate across
the surface of life, where it was safe.
But as much as Tess loved her mother, she was simply too
smart for that. She couldn’t resist delving deeper, where the
reality of the past and present reside. It was painful, but she was compelled to do it,
the same way she probed a cavity with her tongue when she was
waiting to see the dentist.
Now, as her mother’s life was drawing to a close, Tess would
have to redouble her efforts to just skate along. What good would it do now to
discuss (yet again!) the sexual abuse Tess had suffered at the hands of the
revered family patriarch? Or the cruel way Tess’ grandmother had
systematically diminished the little girl’s self esteem? To maintain peace, Tess would
have to outwardly accept her mother’s view that these things couldn’t have
happened, “at least not that way,” or simply weren’t “that bad.”
Tess wanted her mother to leave this realm finally enjoying the
peace she deserved. She didn’t need Tess’ voice ringing in her ears, challenging
her. “Why didn’t you protect me? I was only a little girl!” Tess was tempted to ask (again), “How can you still display their pictures in a place of honor on the mantle?”
But what good would that do? Mommy had lived nearly 80 years
on the surface, skating along where the ice is always smooth and there are no
obstacles in sight.
Every visit with her mother these days left Tess a little
blue. Not because she knew she was going to lose her beloved Mommy, sooner
rather than later. She accepted that as the natural order of things.
What hurt was that she and Mommy had spent their entire relationship on the surface, without ever truly knowing or understanding one
another, and now they never would.
You say it's your birthday
Guess who will close the show, performing last at the Opening
Ceremony of the 2012 Olympics in London. It will be the birthday boy
himself, Sir Paul McCartney, who turns 70 today. His is the face the United Kingdom wants to show when the
whole world is watching because he
represents, as the Fleet Street press has dubbed him, "The Very Best of
Britain."
Certainly the metrics support this. According to the Guiness Book of Records, he is the most successful composer and recording artist of all time. An asteroid
has been named in his honor. In 2010 he was awarded the Gershwin Award
by President Barack Obama. He is, of course, a knight. His personal
wealth is estimated to be $735,000,000.
Enjoy your birthday, My Liege. You deserve to rest on your laurels, but you won't. You have worked hard since you were 14 years old, but have always made it look like play. You have brought millions of us joy. Your dedication to your craft and your family are an inspiration.
To borrow a phrase, "It's been a wonderful life." Happy birthday and many, many, many more.

Enjoy your birthday, My Liege. You deserve to rest on your laurels, but you won't. You have worked hard since you were 14 years old, but have always made it look like play. You have brought millions of us joy. Your dedication to your craft and your family are an inspiration.
To borrow a phrase, "It's been a wonderful life." Happy birthday and many, many, many more.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Father's Day
I am watching the Cubs play the Red Sox within The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. I, of course, love the Cubs -- as do all right-thinking Chicagoans. And if I had an American League team, it would be the Red Sox. (The two teams share so much, not the least of which being Billy Buck.)
Enjoying this game, and all the MLB heritage it represents, is a present from my father. As is my geeky love of history.
Our relationship was fractious and difficult. I'd be lying if I said I missed him. But I can honestly say that I am remembering him fondly today for the gifts he gave me.
Sunday Stealing
Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme, Part Five
81.
What’s your favorite action movie? Die Hard.
82. Have (or are) you ever been involved someone much older than you? What do you consider "much older?" While on vacation once, I had a brief fling with a man 11 years my senior. Does that count?
83. Do you believe in lust at first sight? Oh, my, yes.
84. Favorite type of venomous snake? No one has ever asked me this before. The answer is no.
85. Do you drink alcohol? Yes, because wearing it isn't as successful.
86. If you wanted to talk to someone who'd lift your spirits, who'd you call? My best friend. He can be very funny and wise.
87. What do you wear to feel sexy? Just panties.
88. Do you like to learn? Yes! I'm reading this incredibly long tome about Al Capone and it's fascinating.
89. Have you ever been hit on by someone who really overestimated their attractiveness? No.
90. Where did you last go on vacation? The Spa at Colonial Williamsburg. I wish I was back there right now.
91. Dallas (as in J.R. & Bobby) returns this week. What film or TV series would you loved to be resurrected? Would Kate & Allie still be best buds, now that they are grandmothers?
92. Explain your karma beliefs. I'm pretty conventional in this realm. I try to follow The Golden Rule.
93. When do you think that you have a hard life? Whenever I look back on it. Which is why I prefer looking forward.
94. Favorite comic strip? Don't have one.
95. Have you ever broken a heart? Yes.
96. Should pot be legalized? I don't care.
97. Have you ever gone skinny dipping with someone that you shouldn't have? No, because I haven't ever gone skinny dipping.
98. What do you do when you're down? Reach out to the aforementioned best friend.
99. Last time you were really angry? I don't remember, but I'm sure it was at the office.
100. What is your favorite flavor in general? Cinnamon.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Adventures in Beauty
Yesterday I spent my late, lazy afternoon getting a manicure and pedicure and lip wax before the Groupon I bought months ago expired. The girl who did my nails was fine. But being in a salon is not being at a spa (where I was the last time I had my nails professionally done) and so even though my nails are pretty I was left feeling a little deja blue as I missed the Spa at Colonial Williamsburg or, even more, Chateau Elan. While I know a mani/pedi isn't one of life's essentials, this did feel more utilitarian than luxurious.
Then, the woman who waxed my lip was a pain. In the ass, not the lip. She was gentle enough. She was just an idiot. She should know that I cannot answer questions while she is tugging away at my upper lip. And the questions she asked were annoying. I have a mole on the right side of my upper lip.
"Has a dermatologist seen this?" Why yes, and thank you for making me feel like I have a deformity!
"Then why haven't you had it removed?" Because I don't want to, and again, thank you for making me feel like a have a deformity.
"When did you last wax?" I don't wax. Isn't there enough growth there for you to work with?
"No, there is. I just wanted to know when you last waxed." That would be never. I clip the stray hairs with manicure scissors.
"You must do it every day." No, I haven't done it since Sunday.
"Which Sunday?" The one that came before Monday.
All this in less than 10 minutes! It would probably would have only taken 5 if we didn't have to keep stopping for "conversation." While the aestheticians at Chateau Elan probably aren't technically much better than this, I bet they get much bigger tips BECAUSE THEY AREN'T ASSHOLES!
And today I had my hair cut and colored. I have known the guy who does it forever. Our families go way back. I know his siblings and parents, and he knows mine. And he gave me an earful about how difficult it's been, trying to help his elderly parents with their finances, and how little meaningful assistance he gets from his sibs. How worrisome it is to wonder how much to help without jeopardizing your own retirement plans. I know, buddy, I know! Plus, he has the added layer of stress that comes from not being able to help his wife's family to the extent he's been helping his own, and the tension that causes in his marriage because it's their money he's handing over. As I was leaving, he hugged me and told me it felt like therapy to get it all off his chest.
It was in the 90s today. Taking public transportation to and from the salon was exhausting because I FUCKING HATE HEAT! I got home and took a nap.
So much for my two "relaxing" days of beauty! My daydreams have me thinking that in 2013, I shall return to that destination spa outside Atlanta.
Then, the woman who waxed my lip was a pain. In the ass, not the lip. She was gentle enough. She was just an idiot. She should know that I cannot answer questions while she is tugging away at my upper lip. And the questions she asked were annoying. I have a mole on the right side of my upper lip.
"Has a dermatologist seen this?" Why yes, and thank you for making me feel like I have a deformity!
"Then why haven't you had it removed?" Because I don't want to, and again, thank you for making me feel like a have a deformity.
"When did you last wax?" I don't wax. Isn't there enough growth there for you to work with?
"No, there is. I just wanted to know when you last waxed." That would be never. I clip the stray hairs with manicure scissors.
"You must do it every day." No, I haven't done it since Sunday.
"Which Sunday?" The one that came before Monday.
All this in less than 10 minutes! It would probably would have only taken 5 if we didn't have to keep stopping for "conversation." While the aestheticians at Chateau Elan probably aren't technically much better than this, I bet they get much bigger tips BECAUSE THEY AREN'T ASSHOLES!
And today I had my hair cut and colored. I have known the guy who does it forever. Our families go way back. I know his siblings and parents, and he knows mine. And he gave me an earful about how difficult it's been, trying to help his elderly parents with their finances, and how little meaningful assistance he gets from his sibs. How worrisome it is to wonder how much to help without jeopardizing your own retirement plans. I know, buddy, I know! Plus, he has the added layer of stress that comes from not being able to help his wife's family to the extent he's been helping his own, and the tension that causes in his marriage because it's their money he's handing over. As I was leaving, he hugged me and told me it felt like therapy to get it all off his chest.
It was in the 90s today. Taking public transportation to and from the salon was exhausting because I FUCKING HATE HEAT! I got home and took a nap.
So much for my two "relaxing" days of beauty! My daydreams have me thinking that in 2013, I shall return to that destination spa outside Atlanta.
Saturday 9: Hot Fun In the Summertime
1. What do you have planned for fun in the summertime? This month, I'm taking a friend to see a game within The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field for his birthday. In July, I'm taking my young nephew down to Springfield to see Lincoln's home and Presidential Museum. And in August, my oldest friend is coming for a visit. One BIG THING a month is, I'm afraid, all I can afford this summer.
2. Who was the last celebrity that you thought was bright
until you saw them interviewed? Kirk Cameron. Not that I ever thought he was bright (or ever thought much about him at all), but since he's enjoyed a certain degree of celebrity since childhood, I figured he'd be imbued with at least an ounce of savvy. I was wrong.
3. Do you think that the U.S. and our present war(s) seem to
just ignore our history? Not just our history, but the history of the land(s) we're fighting in.
4. Have you ever conformed just to "fit in?" On Mondays, I have been known to ask a coworker about his or her weekend when in reality, I don't give a crap. I just do it because it's what's done.
5. Do you feel that you at times do not enjoy the moment
because you are worried about what will come next? The story of my life!
6. Does it seem that when you learn more about yourself,
that others' opinions of you seem stupid? Maybe not stupid, but certainly less relevant.
7. In rock & roll history, what bands or artists do you
think made the biggest impact? Elvis. Because he did it all first. And, as we prepare to celebrate Sir Paul McCartney's 70th birthday, I am reminded that Elvis did it all by the age of 42. Just over 20 years took him from his breakthrough on The Ed Sullivan Show through dozens of bad movies to a comeback in Vegas to dead on the bathroom floor in Graceland. Which is both tragic and awesome. He remains our only King.
8. Who do you blame for the state of the economy? Why? Mostly George W. Bush but also Barack Obama. OK, so we bankrupted ourselves by fighting two wars without raising taxes to pay for it. And according to 43, we should fight terrorism by continuing to go shopping. That was stupid. Obviously. But where's Obama's imagination and audacity? He could have seized the moment of the Gulf oil spill to rally us to reduce our dependence on oil and by raising gas taxes and putting thousands and thousands of people to work improving our commuter rail system. (The way Eisenhower built the interstate highway system 60 years ago.) But Americans get really pissed when you try to separate us from our cars, no matter how much sense it makes. So shared sacrifice is too politically risky, I guess. So much for "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Now it's, "Why the fuck do I have to pay $4 for gas?"
9. Do you get upset and do you think you're being lazy when
you do nothing? Yes. And Bud encouraging my sloth with his addictive memes doesn't help!
Labels:
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Saturday 9
Friday, June 15, 2012
I'm happy he's happy
I was once in a relationship with a good man. We were simply incompatible. If fault must be attributed in our break up, then I deserve as much he did because I was as wrong for him as he was for me.
I loved him then, I love him still. I think of him often and wish him nothing but happiness.
Which is why I was so sad when I learned (through what began innocently enough as "farting around on the internet") that life has dealt him some serious blows. Over the past 10 years or so, his father died, then the son he wanted so badly was born with autism, then he got a divorce, then his mother died.
And why I was so happy when I found (through more deliberate cyberstalking) that his life appears to be turning around. He is now a Grand Knight in the Knights of Columbus and attends an annual retreat that supports spirituality among men in his adopted hometown. He appears in a little 20-second YouTube video promoting the event and looks soooo happy!
Catholicism isn't for me. But that's not the point. It comforts him. And, to borrow from The Lads, "you know that can't be bad."
I am entering my weekend a little happier knowing that, somewhere, he's happier.
I loved him then, I love him still. I think of him often and wish him nothing but happiness.

And why I was so happy when I found (through more deliberate cyberstalking) that his life appears to be turning around. He is now a Grand Knight in the Knights of Columbus and attends an annual retreat that supports spirituality among men in his adopted hometown. He appears in a little 20-second YouTube video promoting the event and looks soooo happy!
Catholicism isn't for me. But that's not the point. It comforts him. And, to borrow from The Lads, "you know that can't be bad."
I am entering my weekend a little happier knowing that, somewhere, he's happier.
Trifecta
Ok, be that way. You won’t look at me, so I won’t look at
you. You’re just jealous of my pretty blonde hair and blue shoes. But they
don’t make sandals for hooves!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
ca 1978
I'm watching an old episode of Dallas on ON DEMAND. From the first season, 1978. Oh, how I loved Bobby Ewing! He was so good and honest and polite ... and so frequently shirtless. Back in the day, guys weren't as into manscaping as they are today. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Thursday Thirteen #175
THIRTEEN GREAT TV DADS
With Father's Day nearly upon us, I decided to use my TT to celebrate 13 of the best ones to come into our homes every week.
1) Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show. My personal favorite TV dad. Sheriff Taylor was a wise surrogate father to all of Mayberry. But most of all, he was there for Opie. He was low-key and sensitive but stern in making sure Opie did the right thing, and understood why it was the right thing. He also always seemed to enjoy his son, and I suspect he treasured those moments down by the fishing hole. I just wish I know why he named the poor kid Opie.
2) Eric Camden, 7th Heaven. Like Sheriff Taylor, Rev. Camden's responsibility went beyond his family. He was a minister who had to tend to his flock. Oh, and he had full house waiting for him at home, too. I loved how he made faith and remaining true to oneself natural and smart, not smarmy. Also, he worked hard on his marriage, and he and wife Annie gave their kids both a solid foundation and a good example.
3) Gomez Addams, The Addams Family. No, really! Hear me out! He always encouraged Pugsley and Wednesday in their pursuits. He treated everyone in his multi-generational, extended family -- Cousin Itt, Grandmama and Uncle Fester -- with respect. He was never demanding or condescending with "the help" (Lurch and Thing). And, like Rev. Camden, he was openly romantic with his wife, setting a wonderful example for the kids. In all, I think Gomez is a terrific role model.
4) Ward Cleaver, Leave It to Beaver. I love how firm Ward was, how he never raised his voice, and yet had the respect of those boys. He was obviously ambitious at "the office" (even though I'm still not clear on what he did), but he used that to teach his sons about the value of hard work and commitment, not as an excuse to escape the house. However, he's even worse than Sheriff Andy when it comes with saddling his son with an unfortunate name.
5) Howard Cunningham, Happy Days. How lucky was Ron Howard to have two such stellar TV dads! Dad took his responsibility to Joanie and Richie seriously, never missing a family meal and that opportunity to dispense advice. Even better, he was patient and welcoming to all Richie's friends. How cool is that? Potsie, Ralph and most of all Fonzie all loved Mr. C. I just wish he noticed that his oldest son, Chuck, went upstairs in Season 1 and never came back down.
6) Steven Keaton, Family Ties. He taught his kids that a real man doesn't have to have the loudest voice or the biggest paycheck, a real man takes care of his family by not skimping on attention and love. He was arty -- a producer for the local PBS station. As the series wore on, we saw that Steven had a contentious relationship with own demanding father, and that's why he made a point of encouraging his children to follow their talents and their hearts, even though Alex and Mallory's interests couldn't be more different than his own.
7) Jim Anderson, Father Knows Best. I love that he really did know best. So many TV dads are less mature than their children (Ray Romano, Al Bundy, Archie Bunker). Not Jim. He was a reliable font of wisdom. He was also very human. He felt under-appreciated and misunderstood at times. But always, by the top of the hour, Princess and Bud and Kitten understood what a terrific guy their dad really was. And, unlike Ward Cleaver, we know what Jim did for a living (he was an insurance agent).
8) Charles Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie. Poor but honest Charles Ingalls may have run low on money, but never on love. I also loved how willing Charles was to take on the big problems facing Walnut Grove -- including racism and equal opportunity for women. By his example he taught his girls not to sit on the sidelines but to stand up for what is right.
9) Bentley Gregg, Bachelor Father. Uncle Bentley wasn't a biological father, he became one when he opened his home and heart to niece Kelly. I love how he called Kelly "darling" and always spoke to her as though he believed she was one of the smartest, most precious young women he'd ever seen. He also admitted he was wrong more readily than many a TV dad, and was always willing to give Kelly credit for teaching him a thing or two. A girl would just naturally grow up to be confident and ready for the world to treat her with respect after being raised in Uncle Bentley's home.
10) Cliff Huxtable, The Cosby Show. Certainly TV's funniest dad. But more than that, he raised them to learn about their history and take it seriously. He encouraged his brood to spend time with their grandparents, to ask about the black experience through the decades. He also expected them to achieve, and they rose to the challenge. His kids clearly loved and respected him, even though he always wore those awful sweaters.
11) Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch. The dad who dispensed the most platitudes, no doubt about it. Be prompt, hardworking and loyal ... What other people whisper is none of our business ... If you don't look, you might get took … You can't take a step forward unless you have both feet on the ground ... No shit, I can actually hear his voice in my head as I type these! Haven't we all learned a little something from Mike Brady?
12) Rick Castle, Castle. OK, I included him mostly because I think Nathan Fillion is really hot. And I admit I'm not a regular viewer of the show. Those disclaimers aside: I like that he works hard at being available to his teenage daughter. As the storyline goes, he was raised by a nanny and wants to do better by Alexis. It helps that, as a best-selling author and celebrity, he makes his own hours. But still, I give him points for trying. (And for being so hot.)
13) Col. Potter, M*A*S*H. Yeah, I know he wasn't really a dad. To my knowledge, he and his beloved but long-suffering wife Mildred had no children of their own. But he helped turn that ragtag group of eccentrics into a family and enabled them to do their best work -- which was saving lives. And, like Mike Brady, he was very good at dispensing wisdom to his brood. Two of my favorites: "Never insult seven men when all you have is a six-shooter" AND "If you're not where you are, you're nowhere."
With Father's Day nearly upon us, I decided to use my TT to celebrate 13 of the best ones to come into our homes every week.
1) Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show. My personal favorite TV dad. Sheriff Taylor was a wise surrogate father to all of Mayberry. But most of all, he was there for Opie. He was low-key and sensitive but stern in making sure Opie did the right thing, and understood why it was the right thing. He also always seemed to enjoy his son, and I suspect he treasured those moments down by the fishing hole. I just wish I know why he named the poor kid Opie.
2) Eric Camden, 7th Heaven. Like Sheriff Taylor, Rev. Camden's responsibility went beyond his family. He was a minister who had to tend to his flock. Oh, and he had full house waiting for him at home, too. I loved how he made faith and remaining true to oneself natural and smart, not smarmy. Also, he worked hard on his marriage, and he and wife Annie gave their kids both a solid foundation and a good example.
3) Gomez Addams, The Addams Family. No, really! Hear me out! He always encouraged Pugsley and Wednesday in their pursuits. He treated everyone in his multi-generational, extended family -- Cousin Itt, Grandmama and Uncle Fester -- with respect. He was never demanding or condescending with "the help" (Lurch and Thing). And, like Rev. Camden, he was openly romantic with his wife, setting a wonderful example for the kids. In all, I think Gomez is a terrific role model.
4) Ward Cleaver, Leave It to Beaver. I love how firm Ward was, how he never raised his voice, and yet had the respect of those boys. He was obviously ambitious at "the office" (even though I'm still not clear on what he did), but he used that to teach his sons about the value of hard work and commitment, not as an excuse to escape the house. However, he's even worse than Sheriff Andy when it comes with saddling his son with an unfortunate name.
5) Howard Cunningham, Happy Days. How lucky was Ron Howard to have two such stellar TV dads! Dad took his responsibility to Joanie and Richie seriously, never missing a family meal and that opportunity to dispense advice. Even better, he was patient and welcoming to all Richie's friends. How cool is that? Potsie, Ralph and most of all Fonzie all loved Mr. C. I just wish he noticed that his oldest son, Chuck, went upstairs in Season 1 and never came back down.
6) Steven Keaton, Family Ties. He taught his kids that a real man doesn't have to have the loudest voice or the biggest paycheck, a real man takes care of his family by not skimping on attention and love. He was arty -- a producer for the local PBS station. As the series wore on, we saw that Steven had a contentious relationship with own demanding father, and that's why he made a point of encouraging his children to follow their talents and their hearts, even though Alex and Mallory's interests couldn't be more different than his own.
7) Jim Anderson, Father Knows Best. I love that he really did know best. So many TV dads are less mature than their children (Ray Romano, Al Bundy, Archie Bunker). Not Jim. He was a reliable font of wisdom. He was also very human. He felt under-appreciated and misunderstood at times. But always, by the top of the hour, Princess and Bud and Kitten understood what a terrific guy their dad really was. And, unlike Ward Cleaver, we know what Jim did for a living (he was an insurance agent).
8) Charles Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie. Poor but honest Charles Ingalls may have run low on money, but never on love. I also loved how willing Charles was to take on the big problems facing Walnut Grove -- including racism and equal opportunity for women. By his example he taught his girls not to sit on the sidelines but to stand up for what is right.
9) Bentley Gregg, Bachelor Father. Uncle Bentley wasn't a biological father, he became one when he opened his home and heart to niece Kelly. I love how he called Kelly "darling" and always spoke to her as though he believed she was one of the smartest, most precious young women he'd ever seen. He also admitted he was wrong more readily than many a TV dad, and was always willing to give Kelly credit for teaching him a thing or two. A girl would just naturally grow up to be confident and ready for the world to treat her with respect after being raised in Uncle Bentley's home.
10) Cliff Huxtable, The Cosby Show. Certainly TV's funniest dad. But more than that, he raised them to learn about their history and take it seriously. He encouraged his brood to spend time with their grandparents, to ask about the black experience through the decades. He also expected them to achieve, and they rose to the challenge. His kids clearly loved and respected him, even though he always wore those awful sweaters.
11) Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch. The dad who dispensed the most platitudes, no doubt about it. Be prompt, hardworking and loyal ... What other people whisper is none of our business ... If you don't look, you might get took … You can't take a step forward unless you have both feet on the ground ... No shit, I can actually hear his voice in my head as I type these! Haven't we all learned a little something from Mike Brady?
12) Rick Castle, Castle. OK, I included him mostly because I think Nathan Fillion is really hot. And I admit I'm not a regular viewer of the show. Those disclaimers aside: I like that he works hard at being available to his teenage daughter. As the storyline goes, he was raised by a nanny and wants to do better by Alexis. It helps that, as a best-selling author and celebrity, he makes his own hours. But still, I give him points for trying. (And for being so hot.)
13) Col. Potter, M*A*S*H. Yeah, I know he wasn't really a dad. To my knowledge, he and his beloved but long-suffering wife Mildred had no children of their own. But he helped turn that ragtag group of eccentrics into a family and enabled them to do their best work -- which was saving lives. And, like Mike Brady, he was very good at dispensing wisdom to his brood. Two of my favorites: "Never insult seven men when all you have is a six-shooter" AND "If you're not where you are, you're nowhere."
For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,
or to play yourself, click here.
Perfect!
It's a sunny evening -- 67º, no wind. If only it could always be like this. No warmer, no cooler. Just like this. All summer. Forever.
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