WWW.WEDNESDAY

Rita Hayworth feeling bookish

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

 

1. What are you currently reading? The Adventures of Ellery Queen by Ellery Queen. The Harvard-educated son of Inspector Richard Queen, NYPD, Ellery believes that crimes can be solved using deductive reasoning, and he often puts his estimable intellect to work to help his dad catch killers. 

Ellery Queen never really existed. He was the brainchild of a collaboration between two writers. I've always wanted to give this series a shot, and finally, here I am!

This series of short stories is from the 1941. 80 years ago! It's a product of its time, so it is not remotely PC. I admit I've winced more than once at the racial and sexual stereotypes. But since I've read most of the Rex Stout/Nero Wolfe books of the same vintage, I didn't expect to wince this often.

 

Once I get past that, though, I am enjoying the stories. I wonder if the dynamic between the rough hewn, old-school cop and his erudite son influenced TV's Frasier and his father, Martin.

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Way It Was: My Life with Frank Sinatra by Eliot Weisman and Jennifer Valoppi. If the title hadn't already been used by James Goldman, this could be called The Lion in Winter. It's about Sinatra during the last 20 years of his life as remembered by his last manager, and the executor of his will. Sinatra's decline was inexorable and sad, but he faced it with as much dignity and courage as he could muster. 

Death didn't scare Sinatra. There are stories of him flying coolly through storms and remaining calm even after an engine failed. But he did fear no longer being "Frank Sinatra," not being able to inhabit that larger-than-life persona. So the moments when he realized he was losing it are heart wrenching. But universal. Time is a tremendous equalizer, and not even The Chairman of the Board can beat it.

 

As moving as those passages were, I didn't enjoy this book. It's not a biography, it's Weisman's memoir, and I found him to be petty and vindictive. His snarky asides about Tina Sinatra and Liza Minnelli turned me off because they were more about settling scores than advancing the story. However, I did thoroughly enjoy his pages-long takedown of Donald Trump. Sinatra loathed him, and with good reason. If Trump's unscrupulous dealings with Sinatra are any indication of how he typically ran his business, it's no wonder the SDNY is scrutinizing his finances.

3. What will read next?  I don't know ...

Ten Things Tuesday

 Stolen from Kwizgiver

1. A song that makes you feel cool. Good as Hell by Lizzo

2. A song that you can relate to.  In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning by Sinatra

3. The last song that was stuck in your head. Badlands by Bruce

 

4.  Your favorite song from a musical.  Get Happy by Judy

 

5. Your favorite song from the 70s. Band on the Run by Wings

 

6. Your least favorite song from a band you like.  Mr. Moonlight by The Beatles

 

7. A song you think is underrated.  Teacher, I Need You by Elton

 

8. An album you think is underrated. The Funny Lady Soundtrack (not the movie; the movie sucks)

 

9.  A song you never want to hear again. See #6. Really, I hate everything about it. Even John's organ playing.

10. A song you love but used to hate. Yes It Is by The Beatles (I now appreciate how John sings, "But it's my pride, yes it is!")

 

Still taking no prisoners

Last week, my aunt chose to try to fight with me over, of all things, Princess Diana and Harry. This week, it's Joe Namath.

I'd just seen an ABC News piece about this iconic photo: Broadway Joe in Miami, his Super Bowl pre-game press conference held poolside in Miami. I recalled how it pissed people off, including my dad, because it supposedly showed Namath wasn't taking The Big Game seriously. But, I wrote, "he won the damn game. That aside I just now noticed he's wearing Burberry trunks. It's hard to believe now when he's harping at us to get all the benefits we DESERVE, but at one time, Joe Namath was the coolest guy in the universe." To me, it was about the passage of time.

 

Nancy commented that must have been "the hairiest guy in the universe," and we wondered when manscaping became a thing. Amy posted that she loved the guy in the yellow shirt using a newspaper instead of sunscreen.

Then my aunt. Oh, my aunt! She went on about how he was never "cool" because of the pantyhose commercial and how she and my grandfather used to pronounce his name Na-moth (rhymes with moth). 

OK, Auntie, just another thing I'm wrong about. Never mind that the pantyhose commercial* was in 1973 -- five years after the poolside press conference -- so it has nothing to do with the photo I posted. Never mind that making fun of someone's last name isn't even funny. (And I doubt my grandfather did that. My dad, certainly. But my grandpa didn't make fun of things like that because he was an immigrant and was sensitive to ethnicity.)

I love my aunt and I don't want to hurt her feelings. But I don't feel like defending myself over every post. I don't want to fight. I also don't want to have to censor myself on my own Facebook page, and worst of all, I don't want my friends engaging her. No good would come of that.

So I hide her comments to me and now I'm restricting her access to my posts. Facebook says that this will be invisible to her. I hope so. I don't want to alienate her. 

Her oldest son and two of her adult grandchildren are already dealing with her less and less. They use the phrase "racist and homphobic" and "Trumpy" to describe her diatribes. She doesn't seem to get hat her grumpy old lady act is driving people she loves away. She mentioned to me in an email that she was hurt that she felt "ignored" at her granddaughter-in-law's Zoom baby shower.

How said is that? She is on the verge of becoming a great-grandmother for the first time. At 74, she is young enough to enjoy it. And yet her take-no-prisoners attitude is going to get in the way of that, because not everyone wants their baby exposed to outspoken racism or homophobia. I hope her scorched earth/MAGA strategy is worth it to her.

As for me, I was going to send her an email on Sunday but I was too pissed. I love her and honor our history and so I will write to her, but I have to calm down first.

She wasn't always like this. You know how on Facebook your "memories" pop up? Six years ago, I can see that I posted some pretty controversial things and she managed to resist responding with provocative comments. I think when Donald Trump came down that escalator and announced his candidacy, he began to coarsen us as a people, and it's going to take a while for us to heal.

 

*The pantyhose commercial is still a big deal in advertising because it was one of the first spots to joke about sex and gender as feminism was beginning to take hold and women were complaining about being objectified in print and on TV spot. It was considered risky at the time, but it's used as an example of "talk value." The press coverage the commercial got was worth more than the TV time the advertiser bought.

Shoutout to Stacy

My friend Kathy posted this on her Facebook feed. Since her parents are both long gone, and because she constantly references her own memory lapses, I know she's talking about herself here. This makes me sad for her, but at the same time, it's illuminating.

 

Recently Stacy encouraged me to meet Kathy "in her reality." Clearly it's good advice from someone who has experience with dementia patients. I have to remind myself that she's likely never going to get better, so what is the harm in indulging her? There is no harm. I am helping to ensure that whatever time we have left together is friendly and less stressful for both of us. (Thank you, Stacy.)

I worry about Kathy because I know at least two of our friends -- John and Gregory -- don't want to spend time with her. They feel being around her is "too disturbing." I am especially sad about John's decision, because Kathy has always been more than a little in love with him and I know hearing from him would mean more to her than just dumb old me. But John has gone through dementia with a family member and knows what he can handle and what he can't, so he's chosen to communicate with Kathy only through texts and emojis. 

I also worry about Kathy because, as we all begin to get vaccinated, she's going to try to make plans. She moved out to Dekalb to save money on housing and be closer to her adult grandchildren, both of which are good things. But Dekalb is an hour out of Chicago. She should not be driving. Even if I take the train out there, the nearest stop is 20 miles from her home. I don't want to be with her for those 20 miles. I don't know how to tell her I'll Uber to/from the train station to visit her without her knowing I just don't trust her driving skills. I certainly don't want to be responsible for her driving up here. I hate to say it, but there are some things about Covid I'll miss, and the perfect excuse it gives me not to see Kathy is one of them.

I miss the old days, when all we worried about was who was sleeping with who and who got passed over for a promotion. 

Oh, David, how could I deny you?

Ms. Kwizgiver wondered how I could not have listed my enduring crush, David Addison, as my favorite detective on Saturday 9. I am ashamed of myself. He may not have been the best fictional sleuth, but he certainly was the cutest and most musical.

Sunday Stealing

ASK ANYTHING

 

1 Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? Open, because my big walk-in closet is where the cats' litter boxes are.

2 Do You Have Freckles? No.

3 Can You Whistle? No.

4 Last Song You Listened To. "Little Red Corvette."

5 Name Something That Relaxes You. Working on my Farmville 2 farm.

6 What Sounds Are Your Favorite? A cat's purr.

7 What Do You Wear To Bed? An oversized t-shirt. This one is one of my favorites. It's soft and gold and says "Key West Scuba Diving." No, I've never been scuba diving. It was a gift.

8 Do You Sing In The Shower? Yes. Always. Badly.

9 What Books Are You Reading? One Man Against the World: The Tragedy of Richard Nixon.

10 Do You Believe In Magic? Not really. But now the song is going through my head. Lead singer John Sebastian was the godson of Vivian Vance (aka Ethel Mertz). His mother Jane is mentioned in some I Love Lucy episodes. The girls say Jane Sebastian will do her bird calls at a fundraiser and in another episode they talk about Jane's new baby.

 

 

11 Can You Curl Your Tongue? Yes.

12 Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? No. I caught a firefly once and cried when it died overnight. I thought he and I could be friends. That cured me of wanting to catch bugs.

13 Name One Movie That Made You Cry. Lots of movies make me cry. The Way We Were springs immediately to mind. Oh, how Katie loved him!

via GIPHY

14 Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? Peanuts.

15 Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Yes, but I sleep fitfully.

 

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ral (1944)

Selected because this Wednesday is St. Patrick's Day. Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

   

1) Bing Crosby sings that he learned this song from his mother. Can you recall a song from your early childhood? My favorite song from music class was about spring. I still remember the lyrics: "Water from mountain flows, melted from winter snows, turning it gaily goes, circling the maple tree. Water from mountain flows, melted from winter snows, turning it gaily goes, calling to me, HEY!" I loved when we yelled, "HEY!" I googled the lyrics and found it's from a Czech folk song called "Ah Lovely Meadows." Apparently primary school teachers are still sharing it with their young students.

 

2) Bing was NBC's first choice to play TV's Columbo. He turned down the role because, by that time, he was in his 60s and just didn't feel like working a full week anymore. Peter Falk eventually got the part and played Det. Columbo for 10 seasons. Do you enjoy detective stories, whether on TV, in movies or in books? Oh, yes! Kinsey Milhone of Sue Grafton's alphabet series Robert Parker's Spenser are my favorite book-ish private investigators. On TV, my all-time fave police detective is Lennie Briscoe from Law and Order.

3) Bing could trace his family back to County Cork. While it's said that on St. Patrick's Day everyone is Irish, can you honestly claim Irish heritage? I'm 1/8 Irish. I haven't done an ancestry kit, so I'm going by what I've been told. My dad's mom was 1/2 Irish, which made my dad 1/4 Irish, and me 1/8.

 

4) Other than St. Patrick, what is Ireland famous for? My uncle loved visiting Ireland and raved about the crystal glassware. He said it was manufactured to be used and enjoyed, not left on the shelf and admired.

5) "The wearing o' the green" is one way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Will you wear something green in honor of the day? If I remember. Now that I'm working from home, I give my attire way less consideration.

6) Have you ever had green beer? I don't believe I ever have. And you know what? I'm OK with that.

7) Have you ever ordered a Shamrock Shake from McDonald's? Yes. I miss McDonald's. During covid I've kept a pretty small footprint, but I could use a Big Mac.

Imagine this in silver

8) A four-leaf clover is considered good luck. Do you have a lucky charm? Yes. It's really quite silly, but it makes me feel better. I was at the airport, sitting in one of those awful chairs outside the gate, and I saw something shiny on the floor. It was a charm that had obviously fallen off a child's bracelet. The charm shows Joseph holding Mary who is holding Jesus. I am frightened of flying, so I took spotting that charm on that dirty airport carpet as a sign and I slipped it in my jeans pocket. It's on my dresser right now, waiting to join me on my next flight.

9) Speaking of Lucky Charms, they are magically delicious.  What brand of cereal is in your kitchen right now? Honey Bunches of Oats.

 

 

Oh, Francis!* You broke my heart!

As I have my own little film festival, going through my soon-to-be-defunct DVR, I landed on The Joker is Wild. This 1957 movie is one of Sinatra's best. He's in fine voice, singing "I Cried for You," "All the Way," and my favorite, "Chicago (That Toddlin' Town)."†  But he also gives a fine dramatic performance. 

This movie had a massive impact on me when I was a kid. I saw it the first time when I was a teenager, babysitting. The kids were asleep and I was alone in the parents' bedroom, eating chips, drinking soda and watching old movies. Because it's Sinatra singing the oldies, I assumed it was a merry Hollywood musical. It is not. 

Very bad things happen to good people. (It has one of the most harrowing bloody scenes I recall in a black and white film; especially disturbing when you're a kid watching alone in a strange house.) Heroes do not necessarily behave valiantly. True love does not conquer all. 

This is because the story didn't come from a scriptwriter's imagination. It was based on real events. (I've been to The Green Mill, the bar where Sinatra/Joe E. Lewis chose not to perform). The story was well-known enough that, when I told my parents about the movie, they confirmed the bare bones of the plot.

The message I learned in theory that long-ago night -- that life doesn't work out the way it's supposed to -- has, of course, been born out time and again in real life. I appreciate that Francis prepared me (somewhat).

 

*Ava and I call him Francis.

†Screw you, New York. He sang two songs about us: "My Kind of Town (Chicago Is)" and "Chicago (That Toddlin' Town)." And he sang our songs first, thank you very much.

Scorched Earth

I was moved by Prince Harry's interview with Oprah. Meghan struck me as disingenuous, but Harry seemed to be suffering confusion and pain. I wanted to give him a hug.

I posted this photo on Facebook and wrote: Last night, watching Harry and Meghan, I kept thinking of what Carrie Fisher said about relationships: "They're never really over, just over there." It felt like Harry is fighting extra hard for Meghan because he felt no one fought for Diana.

 

That was when my aunt weighed in. "As Bethany Frankel said, 'oh, boo hoo.'"

 

She went on to share some factually inaccurate information about Harry's finances which just emphasized that she hadn't watched the show she was commenting on, and continued to lecture me in an aggressive way. 

 

Um ... it's MY Facebook page. She has her own page for her own opinions. I don't scroll through her Fox-filled feed and "correct" her. (I don't even follow her anymore.) I don't know why I'm not entitled to the same respect.

I didn't engage her anymore. She's my auntie, she's 74 and I don't want to fight. I also didn't want my friends correcting her misinformation, so I "hid" her comments.

But it made me sad. She has a strained relationship with her oldest son because of comments she made in 2016 that were, in his words, "racist and homophobic." I didn't ask what she said exactly because I don't want to know. Some things can't be unheard. Her adult grandchildren were disillusioned when their heretofore sweet, supportive grandmother came out loud and proud for Trump and gave her reasons, which they too felt fell into the "racist and homophobic" category.

She went to her granddaughter-in-law's Zoom baby shower and commented ruefully that "no one noticed" she was there. Of course not. In every conversation, she manages to work in her anger and grievance. It's tiresome and sad and more and more of her relatives are avoiding her. (Example: nothing I said in my original post about Harry had anything to do with his finances. It was about the nature of grief. Does my aunt really think that money can buy you out of such pain? Of course not. So why voice her opinion so provocatively?) She is hurt and confused by her isolation, but seemingly can't stop herself.

We've been here before, she and I. I'm made of sterner stuff than my cousin or his kids and refuse to let her go. I will no allow Donald Trump and Fox News ruin what time we have left together. And yes, I do blame Trump. From "lock her up" to "enemies of the people," our then-President amped up the antagonism with his overheated tweets and made demonization comfortable.

 

So I'm going to ignore what she says on social media and send her a chatty email this week, about books I've read and about how my Reynaldo is adjusting to his meds. I'm going to pretend that she didn't use my own Facebook page to lecture me and spread falsehoods. I'm going to insist on sending love her way.

 

Because I know she loves me.  

WWW.WEDNESDAY

Rita Hayworth feeling bookish

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

 

1. What are you currently reading? The Way It Was: My Life with Frank Sinatra by Eliot Weisman and Jennifer Valoppi. Weisman was Sinatra's manager during his final years, and then he acted as executor of Sinatra's will. Frank was 82 when he died. I view this time of life differently now than I did when he died in 1998. Performers I enjoy are now approaching that age: Streisand is 79, Paul McCartney turns 79 in June, Diana Ross is looking at 77, Springsteen will be 72. I wonder what life and career are like for really talented people as, to borrow from Sinatra, they "face the final curtain." They obviously understand that their voices aren't as powerful as in days gone by. What keeps them going? What keeps me coming back?

So far, this book is carrying me along on the strength of the Sinatra persona. It's a memoir not a biography, and I can't say I like our storyteller. Weisman liberally shares his own story and during his pre-Sinatra years it's filled with moral ambiguity. He also seems set on settling scores with snarky little asides (Tina Sinatra, Liza Minnelli). It's his book and his right. He's just not someone whose company I'm enjoying.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. Oh, this book is such wicked fun! It's a book about husband-wife serial killers, and it's a real thriller. The pacing is part of the fascination. Millicent and her husband's conversations boomerang between the mundane (do we attend our daughter's soccer match or son's golf tournament?) and the macabre (who should we abduct and murder next?). It'll change the way you look at the perfect couple next door.

There are plot holes big enough to drive through. They're impossible not to notice, but don't let them distract you. This is an original story told with real talent. This couple racks up quite a body count, but there's really very little gore. I appreciate this. (Part of why I abandoned Patricia Cornwell is that her books are just too graphic for me.)

3. What will read next?  I have my eye on a vintage detective story.

Forever cool

As I slowly prepare to bid adieu to the contents of my DVR, I'm rewatching some of my favorite movies and it's turning into a Newman-Redford film festival. God I love these two!

Over the weekend I watched Up Close and Personal (1996). 60-year-old Redford plays Warren Justice, a former network anchor on his way down, now a producer at a Miami affiliate. Michelle Pfeiffer is the much-younger Tally Atwater, the girl who wants to be Katie Couric (this is 1996, remember?) but has no idea what it takes to reach her goal. He mentors her and they fall in love and it's completely believable. He has scenes where he's caught gazing upon her with such affection that I get all swoony. And then of course there's his cool. 

He won't compromise. He can't compromise. "Shit, Warren, you got a habit of calling a horse's ass a horse's ass." 

Another character tells him, "You stake out the moral high ground and everybody else gets altitude sickness."

I love Warren Justice so much! This is the movie that introduced "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion. He saw the best in her and he willed her to success because of his faith in her. Sigh ...

As I write this post, I'm watching Harper (1966). Paul Newman is the detective of the title. He's in the honorable PI tradition of Bogart and Dick Powell. He's cynical. As he likes to say, "The bottom is filled with nice people. Only bastards and cream rise." But he accepted the case, and now he's got to solve it. For all his gum snapping and wise cracking, he has a code. He has to do the right thing, as he sees it. That's key. His compass doesn't have the same true north as everyone else's.

The movie is a very good, very tight little mystery, so I won't do it the injustice of revealing the end. But no matter how many times I see it -- and I've seen it a lot -- it surprises me. Not the resolution of the mystery, Harper's response to it. His morals may be ambiguous, but his guts and personal integrity are in tact.

I've got more Newman and Redford movies to watch before Xfinity empties out this old DVR. I'll end my little film festival with the coolest double feature imaginable: The Sting and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

MUTTERINGS

 

UNCONSCIOUS MUTTERING #887 

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Clap :: Thunder
   
2. Vision :: Test (I just made my 2021 appointment, so this is top of mind)
   
3. Prone :: Susceptible
   
4. Congratulate :: Celebrate
   
5. Lean :: Right (My chiropractor told me that, because of my spinal stenosis, I'm unusually "right dominant")
   
6. Thrill :: "of it all"
   
7. Chrome :: Google
   
8. Host :: Cell
   
9. Learn :: Live and ...

 

Sunday Stealing

 AlecClayton. 

Here's a link to Mr. Clayton's writing and artwork.

 

1. Do you put ketchup on hot dogs? Yes. Relish, too.

2. How many TVs in your house? Two, living room and bedroom.

3. Do you put salt on watermelon? No.

4. Can you swim? Yes. I swim well and I enjoy it. Swimming on Christmas Day has been part of my Key West holiday celebrations, but last year I was unable to go because I was recovering from Covid 19. With a heart filled with hope, I just made my reservations for this Christmas. Here's the pool at Casa 325, where I anticipate my holiday dip will take place.

 

5. Are your parents still alive? Nope.

6. First car? Only car: a Chevy Impala.

7. Surgeries? Not today, but thank you for offering.

8. What do you drink in the morning? Ice water (or hot tea, depending on the season) and a glass of milk. 

 

9. Can you do 100 push ups? This was recently a Saturday 9 question, and I'm stealing Kwizgiver's brilliant answer: "Probably not consecutively."

10. Can you change a tire? Nope.

11. Tattoos? Nope.

12. Do you wear sunglasses? I used to have quite a wardrobe of sunglasses, but I quit wearing them with advent of Covid. I've switched from my contacts to my glasses because I don't want to touch my eyes.

13. Do you have a phobia? I am freaking terrified of flying.

14. Do you have a nickname? Yes

 

15. Are you a picky eater? No. I can't tolerate spicy foods, but other than that, I'm good.

What a difference a year makes

We all know someone like this. A year ago, they said Covid19 was overblown. During the first 6-9 months of the pandemic, they insisted that we should ignore Dr. Fauci and listen to "evidence over hysteria." That the corona virus is just like the flu. That they don't know anyone who has it. And even if they did catch it, hydroxychloroquine will "work just fine" because Trump says so. That it's been delightful to flout social distancing at restaurants with friends or at family gatherings.

Today it's different, isn't it? Now we all know someone who has had it. Some of us know people who died. A lot of the same people who complained about masks are now waiting in line to get the vaccine.

29 million Americans -- including me -- have been diagnosed with the corona virus. 524,000 Americans are dead. Heartbreaking. I'm sorry that so much tragedy has brought us here.

The Harrises and the Bidens at the ceremony honoring Covid19 victims, 1/21

 

I wish that, one year ago, we'd had national leadership that took a sober, serious approach to the corona virus. I wonder how many fewer cases we would have had.*

I'm still trying to make peace with this preventable tragedy. I saw a prayer for those who have died, and for those who are finally going to lead us out of this.

 

*Here's an article about last fall's Rose Garden superspreader event, written from a medical standpoint. Bad examples were set, and there were painful consequences. I hope everyone remembers this when they vote in 2022 and 2024.

Saturday 9

BIRTHDAY (2014) 

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Katy Perry sings that she wants to give her lover something good to celebrate every day. What is making you happy this fine Saturday? I'm getting my hair cut! Yea! My hair has been cowlicky all week.

2) The video is all about baking a birthday cake. When did you most recently enjoy something home baked? Were you the baker? I can't recall the last time I had something home baked.

3) Tell us a memory from one of your birthdays. A few years back, a dear friend gave me a Guatamalan worry doll. I'm terrified every time I get on a plane and my fear touched his heart, so he advised me to bring her with with me every time I fly. Supposedly if I tell her my worries, she will share them and help them go away. It was a thoughtful gift and she does travel with me.

4) This week's song shares nothing but the title with a Beatles song. (Here's a video of Paul McCartney performing it live.) Can you think of another title that's been used by more than one song? "Best of My Love" by The Emotions and "Best of My Love" by The Eagles. Very different songs, but I love 'em both.

5) Similarly, this week's featured artist was born Kathryn Hudson and called Katy Hudson until she changed her name to Katy Perry to avoid confusion with the actress Kate Hudson. Have you ever met anyone else with your same name? Not in person. But someone else with my exact name has a profile on Facebook.

6) Katy and actor Orlando Bloom became parents to a baby girl in 2020. Bloom is best known for his work in the Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Are you a fan of either of those film series? Nope. Haven't seen a single one of those movies start-to-finish.

7) In 2014, the year this song was popular, Prince William toured the United States and attended his first NBA game (Nets vs. Cavaliers). What's the most recent sporting event that you watched? Cubs spring training baseball. Oh, how I love the crack of the bat!

8) Also in 2014, Joan Rivers died. While best-known for making us laugh, she was a very successful entrepreneur, selling jewelry on QVC. Have you ever ordered anything from TV? Kinda/sorta. I googled "waterproof boots" and ended up on HSN.com, watched a video and purchased. But I don't have the patience to watch the shopping networks.

 

9) Random question -- Have you ever been told you talk too much? Only constantly.

From grumpy to happy

I was having one of those days when nothing felt quite right. I was unsettled. Annoyed. I went out in the sun and ran some errands but the clear blue skies didn't improve my mood. While I was at the bank, I saw a bin filled with books. The local children's welfare clinic was accepting donations for the waiting room and to distribute to patients in need. This clinic does wonderful work, providing medical, dental and behavioral care and charging fees along a sliding scale, depending on what the family can afford. 

I had a gift card from the local bookseller in my purse. I'd been carrying it with me since December. My friend Mindy loaded it with $25 for my birthday and it had $6.00 left on it. Not enough for any book I wanted. But almost enough for Who Has Wiggle-Waggle Toes?, a board book for toddlers and pre-schoolers.

I supported a small business and helped a worthy charity. It lifted my mood. That's what I have to do when I'm like this: I have to get out of my own head and help others.

Love this, love this, love this.

One of the highlights of the 2019 Turner Classic Film Festival for me. So very happy that it's available online. All four of these people have such affection for the film and clearly know it frame-by-frame. It was wonderful hearing Gone with the Wind discussed with the clear-eyed respect it deserves.

The fuckheads who believe TCM, or any movie lover, wants to ban or censor problematic films (like GWTW and Breakfast at Tiffany's) should watch this. It's exciting to hear films we love discussed as both art and artifact. Things can be complicated. We can feel conflicted. It's OK to talk about it! Honest conversation won't hurt you!

 

PS I read Molly Haskell's From Reverence to Rape back when I was in high school and it rocked my world. It was a thrill to see her in person.
 

Step by step

I admitted last week that the idea of getting a new TV has been hanging over me, causing me stress. Because it's not an event, it's a transition! The cable company will soon stop supporting the box next to my dear old tube TV, and if I don't take action, I'll no longer have service.

To escape my fog of overwhelmedness* I've decided to start moving through the process of switching one step at a time.

1) Call Comcast/Xfinity for advice. They were really very helpful and nice. I didn't like what they had to say -- hell, I don't want to be doing this at all! -- but it now sounds very doable. I'm going to lose everything on my DVR, which leaves me feeling desolate. But it is what it is. (If they could transfer content from my DVR, it could be bootlegged, and that would violate all those FBI warnings you see at the beginning of a DVD.)

Since it's a 23" set, this is nearly life sized

2) Comparison-shop for a new TV. My new best friend from Xfinity kinda/sorta recommended LG or Samsung. Neither manufacturer offers a smart set in the exact size I want, and I don't want a massive wall-mount TV. I don't feel like rearranging my living room and I want to continue using my cabinet as a TV stand. So I landed on a 23" LG on a stand and I'll order an Amazon Fire Stick to make it smart. 

I ordered it from Best Buy. Free shipping. It's in my den right now.

3) Order the Fire Stick. Haven't done this yet. I think I've settled on "Lite," because if I find I need more bells and whistles I can always trade up. But I want to do a little more research before I pull the trigger.

4) Make the appointment with Xfinity. They said it might take up to 10 days for a tech to get out here. That's fine. As I said, I don't really want to do this at all! The 10 days will give me more time with my 97% full DVR. 

Farewell, old friend

5) Persuade the tech to take my 20" tube tv into the bedroom and set it up, replacing the 14" tube set that's in there now. I picked that on one on impulse back in 2001. I bought it at Walgreens during the period between closing on this place and moving in. I was going from a 3-room apartment to a 2-bedroom apartment and it occurred to me I might want a second set. That's the set I was watching on 9/11/01 when, while tying my tennies, Matt Lauer reported a second plane hit the Twin Towers.† My 14" set still works, too, but I can tell it's crapping out. The colors are too saturated and the adjustable buttons no longer work.

6) Call the junk service. They can take away the 14" TV and the broken stereo, and the 20-year-old AC unit that probably no longer works, and the carpeting remnants, and the old window screens. and ... I have so many things in this apartment that I've hung onto just because I thought I might need them someday, or because they're too heavy for me to haul to the dumpster, or they have to be disposed of carefully.

It still seems like a lot of work, especially for something I don't really want to do. But it has to be done, and now that I'm moving through the steps, I feel more confident. And while I'm losing a shitload of beloved content on my current DVR, the new one will hold more and I'll be able to watch Netflix and Prime on my set instead of on my laptop. 

I'm finally entering the 2010s, I guess ...

*"Overwhelmedness" wasn't a word before but it is now. I say so.

†That was 8:03 AM. I had to be out the door at 8:10 in order to make my train. I did it, in a daze. I still don't know why I went to work that day. Why on earth was I willingly traveling to the city that is home to Sears Tower and the John Hancock Building? Plus, my office was in the same building as the Israeli Consulate. I had no sooner arrived at work than the Chicago Police Department evacuated us.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

Rita Hayworth feeling bookish

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

 

1. What are you currently reading? My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. Dark, disturbing and twisty! A tennis pro and his realtor wife have been together 15 years. They have a nice home and a pair of kids (one boy, one girl). They're happy enough, but they're bored. They want to restore the spark in their marriage. They need something to bring them together again. A shared hobby. You know, like stalking, torture and murder. 

One of the things that makes this book so creepy is that it's told from the husband's point of view. His narration makes it all seem more intimate, like we're somehow complicit.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? If This Was Happiness by Barbara Leaming. Rita Hayworth was gorgeous, the most popular pin-up girl of WWII. A movie star so loved by the troops that they painted her image on the bomb dropped on Bikini Atoll in 1946. Her image is so enduringly seductive that she was practically a character in 1994's Shawshank Redemption, made 7 years after her death.

Yet her life story was far less than glamorous. In fact, it's staggeringly sad. When told Rita referred to their failed relationship as the happiest time of her life, ex-husband Orson Welles responded, "If this was happiness, imagine what the rest of her life had been!" As presented by Barbara Leaming, her life began with incest and ended with Alzheimer's, with alcoholism, abortion and betrayal along the way.

 

The author presents the tragic truth behind the glittering image in a sober, not sensational way. I appreciated the respect and compassion she showed Rita. I just wish her story had been happier.

3. What will read next?  I don't know ...