Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Rikki, Don't Lose that Number (1974)
   

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, a man asks a girl to spend more time with him and suggests they go out for a ride together. Do you ever take a leisurely drive, just for relaxation and pleasure? Or do you always have a destination in mind when you get behind the wheel? I don't drive. But every time I leave the house I have a destination in mind. Even if I'm just going for a walk. If I want to enjoy the sunshine and sky I'll head off for the post office branch that's farther away or the bigger grocery store, but I never just wander.

 

2) He repeatedly suggests that she could have a change of heart. What's something you've changed your mind about recently? Abigail. She's the manager I work with most often since Jen left the card shop. She's the youngest manager and I'm the oldest employee so I was worried about how we'd get along. She's lovely. Supportive and funny and we have a lot to talk about. Also, I love how amused she is when she hears me refer to her as, "my boss." For those 4-6 hours, that's exactly who she is, and I want her to own it.

3) This week's featured artists are the duo Steely Dan. They earned the reputation as perfectionists, requiring take after take in the studio until they got their sound just right. Do you consider yourself a perfectionist? Or do you more often find that "good enough is good enough?" Depends on what I'm doing. At my previous job I could be rather demanding of myself and others. I'm less so at the card shop because having a job I could leave behind when I go home was kinda the point of getting it. At home? I've always been "good enough is more than good enough." (Meaning I'm a slob.)

 

4) The Rikki of the title is a writer/poet who met Steely Dan's Donald Fagan when they were both students at Bard College. He had a crush on her and gave her his number, which she refused to call because she was married. She went on to teach in the English Department at the University of Denver, where her students would probably be surprised to learn she was the inspiration for a famous song. Is there something we would be surprised to learn about you? Yes. And I'm not sharing it here.

5) Another woman who played a role in Steely Dan's success is Barbra Streisand. She recorded one of their early songs, "I Mean to Shine," for her 1971 album, Barbra Joan Streisand. It was her thirteenth album and though 13 is often considered unlucky, it reached #11 on the Billboard charts and was certified as a gold record. Do you have a lucky number? 7.

 

6) In 1974, when this song was a hit, The Magic 8 Ball was still a top-seller at toy stores. It retailed for just $1.99, and promised that all you had to do was gaze at it, concentrate, and wait to learn your fate ... "if you dare!" If you could get an answer to one question about the future, what would you ask? Where will my beloved Anthony Rizzo be playing in 2025?

7) Also in 1974, Good Times premiered and the character JJ (played by Jimmy Walker) became a sensation with the catchphrase "Dy-no-mite!" What's another phrase that is forever connected to a TV character? Could Chandler be any funnier?

8) 1974 was the year Barry Manilow became a household name with his first major hit, "Mandy." Do you have a favorite Barry Manilow song? I gotta be honest: I cannot stand Barry Manilow. But even I like "Even Now." Heartbreak makes me sappy.

9) Random question: Imagine a beautiful little church on a hillside. Quiet, with stained glass and lovely pews. Well-maintained grounds with plenty of parking nearby. Seats 150. Perfect for a wedding ... or a funeral, because it's located in a cemetery. Would you consider getting married at a cemetery? Of course. A house of worship is a house of worship. The physical location doesn't matter. Besides, the fact that I was getting married at all would be more shocking than the cemetery thing.

 

Thursday Thirteen #396

Questions I'd ask my cats. My friend Elaine is fascinated by this video and shared it with me. It got me thinking about the furry friends I share my home with. If there was no language barrier between us, what would I ask my cats?

1. What do you dream about? I can tell sometimes when they're cat napping that they are dreaming. I wonder what visions play in their heads.

2. Am I your mommy? Elaine and I discuss this often. She maintains her cats think of her as their mother. I maintain my cats know I'm not a cat and therefore can't be their mother. Who is right?

3. Where do you think I go? When I exit through the front door, what do they think happens to me? I know they can't perceive of things like yoga class or a job. So do they think I'm chasing birds and climbing trees? 

4. Do you miss outside? I never, ever let my cats out. Not under any circumstances. My oldest friend thinks it's fine for her cats to wander around a fenced yard. I'm very inflexible on this. She's simply wrong. A cat can get spooked by a bug bite or distracted by a rabbit and suddenly find a way over (or through a hole in) that fence. Similarly neighboring stray cats (or worse, a coyote) can find a way over (or through a hole in) that fence. Anyway, I wonder if my cats miss grass and leaves.

5. Do you get bored? I put a lot of effort into mixing up their food so they don't get chicken or salmon too many days in a row. Do they care? Or would a 365/always-the-same diet suit them just fine?

6. Why can't your food bowl stay in one spot? We go through it almost daily: I put Constance MacKenzie's food down in the kitchen and she eats most of it. Then she leads me into the hall, beckoning me to bring her bowl so she can finish it there. This is obviously important and quite logical to her. Why?

7. Why do you love sleeping on paper? Next to boxes, my cats love paper best. I get the box thing. Small spaces make cats feel secure and in control of their environment. But why is napping on an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet so satisfying?

8. What's with the left side of my body? Roy Hobbs always curls up to cuddle on my left side. Even if he has to pretzel himself to squeeze in while my right side remains open.

9. Why can't I cut your nails? Connie becomes The Amazing Cat with No Spine when I try to clip her nails. She'll flop from side to side like a fish on the floor of a boat. I don't understand this. She lets me touch her feet. She lets me look at her nails. But at the sight of the clippers she becomes passionately uncooperative.

10. Do you remember Reynaldo? Connie loved the skinny beige demon cat. They slept together entwined like a fur yin yang symbol. After he died, she was desolate, walking around the apartment calling to him. She plays with and grooms Roy Hobbs, but she's not in his physical space the way she was in Rey's. Does she miss him?

11. When you purr, is it sincere? Sometimes I think Connie purrs less out of affection or happiness and more in an attempt to charm me into giving her a treat. She can be awful cute and it often works.

12. What do you remember from your old life? I know Roy Hobbs was badly abused. Certain deep, male voices terrify him. Is that a sense memory? Or does he actually recall what he endured?

13. What could I do better? There are things that would be non-negotiable, even if requested. For example, I would never banish trips to the vet or provide an unlimited stream of treats. But I am committed to their happiness and comfort, and if Connie or Roy Hobbs have legit beefs I would be happy to mend my ways.

That's Mrs. MacKenzie on the left, Roy Hobbs on the right.

Oh, the conversations we would have!

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

A Sign of the Times

This was taped to the door of the administrative office of my church. My. Church. Is this what half the country voted for? For the most vulnerable among us to be frightened in a house of worship?

I haven't seen a dip in the cost of eggs. I've heard drivers whine about gas prices. There is no peace treaty between Russia and Ukraine. Those are things the new President promised "on day one" and they haven't happened. But he has made cruelty a priority during his first week.

That's a reflection of my elbow under the sign. I'll never forget how shocked I was when I saw this sign at my church.

My church.

Why aren't the uber Christians who support MAGA ashamed? Didn't they learn this in Sunday School: "Treat the least among us as you treat me?"

But I'm proud of my community and my congregation for making federal law enforcement obey the law.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: A Summer Song (1964)
   

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) Are you enjoying winter? Or do you daydream about summer? Winter suits me. I'd rather have it 0º than 90º. On the other hand, I do daydream a lot about summer because summer = baseball.

 

2) In this week's song, trees sway in the breeze. Is it windy where you are today? No. It's very quiet.

3) There's rain outside their window. Have you more recently seen rain or snow? Snow. I like snow.

4) This week's artists are the duo Chad and Jeremy. As a teen, Chad Stuart was very versatile in the arts. While he enjoyed drawing, he showed real promise in music and won a scholarship to London's Central School of Speech and Drama. When you were a teenager, what were your best classes? English and American History.

5) Between 1965 and 1966, Chad and Jeremy played British pop stars on a variety of American TV shows, including The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Patty Duke Show, and Batman. Which of those series do you remember? All of them! At first glance, you'd assume that Batman is the least realistic but no, I'd say it's The Patty Duke Show. How are "identical cousins" genetically possible?

 

6) While those TV appearances were good for the duo's record sales, they sowed the seeds of dissent between the friends. Jeremy Clyde realized he enjoyed acting far more than music and began threatening to leave the act. Chad finally got tired of dissuading him. Between Jeremy's dramatic aspirations and contract disputes, they broke up. Later they both admitted they regretted the split, but as Chad said, "we were just kids." Is there an old friend you've drifted away from but miss? My friend Barb. She moved to Hilton Head and we drifted apart. I remember her fondly but I don't really miss her. I assume she feels the same way. It occurs to me as I answer this that we didn't even exchange Christmas cards this year.

7) In 1964, when "A Summer Song" was popular, the #1 movie in the country was Mary Poppins. Have you seen it? Oh, yes! A million times! 

8) One of the biggest news stories of 1964 was Elizabeth Taylor's wedding to Richard Burton. The bride wore yellow, with yellow and white flowers in her hair. The groom wore a dark suit, red tie and yellow boutonniere. What did you wear last time you got dressed up? A coral knit pantsuit with mesh sleeves. I'm surprised that I was just about the only woman in the room wearing a bright color. Everyone else was muted or neutral.

9) Random question: When you're in the backseat, do you wear a seatbelt? Ever since I read that Princess Diana might have survived if she'd been wearing one. Her body likely wouldn't have flown into the back of the front seat with such velocity.

 

Hurt? Angry? Sad? All three!

On 1/20 I posted this photo to Facebook. It's the 2024 chocolate Advent calendar I'd just laid waste to. I explained that Corporate decreed my card shop could no longer sell them and they had to be "destroyed." Obviously by inhaling all this chocolate, I'm just being a team player.

I thought it was funny.

My aunt responded, "What a perfect way to celebrate this most joyful day!"

Since it was Monday, a Federal holiday, I clicked "like" and said: "This is the first MLK Day I've ever worked and after my shift I promised myself I'd do good by creating extra cards for Letters Against Isolation. The sugar buzz helped carry me through! Happy Martin Luther King Day."

Her response: "Who? In our home we're celebrating Donald Trump's inaugural and an end to corruption and lawlessness."

What the ever-loving fuck? Dr. Martin Luther King merits a "who?" Plus, she knows how I feel about Donald Trump. Which is exactly the same way her son, her daughter-in-law and adult grandchildren feel about him. Because of her aggressive Trumpiness, she is estranged from them. She has learned nothing from this and is working on alienating me now.

I posted chocolate. She responded by gloating about the election. She used this opportunity to hurt me. Someone who is supposed to love me went out of her way to wound me, disrespect Dr. King and ignore the service the I did in his memory.

I deleted her response. To paraphrase her, "In this home, we celebrate Dr. King." I won't have him minimized.

This made her angry and she's now ignoring me. Well, guess what: I'm angry, too.

And hurt that "being right" about Donald Trump is apparently more important to her than my feelings. And sad that she can't stop herself. I know she feels bad that she has a great-grandchild she hasn't seen and that the only Mother's Day gifts she received last year were from me (she's my godmother). 

My cousin (her son) has repeatedly told me how disillusioning it is when the woman who insisted you go to Sunday School, who extolled Christian values, just can't stop being intolerant, belligerent, racist and homophobic. I get that. The hypocrisy is stunning. 

But I will heal. I'm not letting her go. She's 78 years old. She has had health problems and her husband recently battled cancer. At this point in her life, losing me would hurt more than she knows. If I still haven't heard from her by April, when I go to the TCM Film Festival, I'll still send her a postcard and buy a souvenir. I'll still send her a birthday card and Mother's Day gift come May. 

It really doesn't cost me much to be kind. If she were to take off her MAGA glasses, I bet she'd see our relationship the same way.

Thursday Thirteen #395

The "there's this spot on my back" edition. It happens every year: I struggle with dry winter skin and find myself with itches I just can't reach.

So what is it about cold weather that has me rubbing up against door jambs? Here are 13 possible reasons for/ways to combat dry skin in winter.

1. Cold air holds less moisture than warm.

2. My condo's steam heat also reduces moisture in the air.

3. Cold weather reduces blood flow, and my skin misses the more robust circulation of warm weather days.

4. I enjoy long, hot showers. Hot water can strip skin of natural oils, and when the air is dry to begin with, I'm left itchy.

5. I don't drink enough water. While drenching my outsides in water is bad in winter, consuming more of it is good.

6. It's hard to slather moisturizer on my back. I've stockpiled Vaseline Intensive Care Spray Lotion, which helps somewhat.

7. The holidays and financial/tax time worries can cause stress, and stress can worsen skin irritation.

8. Less Vitamin D. We get Vitamin D from sunshine and when we're indoors more, we just naturally enjoy less sun exposure.

9. Does the skin on your face feel dry? Maybe you're exfoliating too often. 

10. Are your hands dry? It might be that hand sanitizer you carry with you. Don't give it up. Just carry a small bottle of moisturizer with you, too, during dry winter months.

11. Have you forsaken fabric softener? You may wish to add it back to your laundry routine to help your clothes feel better against your winter-weary skin.

12. Maybe switch to one of the laundry detergents specifically formulated to be gentle on skin.

13. Vacuum more often in winter. When the windows are closed and the heat is on, dust mites can become a problem and they can irritate skin.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to try to reach that spot with my hairbrush.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Leo Durocher: Baseball's Prodigal Son by Paul Dickson. When I was a little girl, Leo was such a big presence on the Chicago landscape I thought he was like a member of our family. Everybody was always talking about Leo. Everyone always had an opinion about him. In my lifetime, only Mike Ditka and Joe Maddon have come close to Leo in terms of cultural impact. But Ditka and Joe actually did what Leo just promised us -- they brought championship trophies to Chicago. So in a way, Leo has always seemed like a tragic figure to me. A big ass, massive WHAT IF? 

So I'm enjoying this 350+ page book because it gives me a greater picture of the man. Before he was a big deal in Chicago, he was a big deal in New York and Los Angeles. Before he disrespected our beloved Ernie Banks, he humiliated Babe Ruth. Before he married Chicago royalty -- heiress to the Goldblatt Department Store fortune -- he was married to a movie actress and hung out with Frank Sinatra and Johnny Carson. 

He's even in Bartlett's quotations for "nice guys finish last."

All that, and he was one of the winningest managers in baseball history. He's an asshole, for sure, but an entertaining one.

 
2. What did you recently finish reading? The Fall Girl by Marcia Clark. I was mad when I finished this book. Disappointed ... frustrated ... pissed. And here's why:

Imagine you have just sat down for a big meal. The appetizer is just OK, so you're a little worried about the main course. No need. It's delicious. Now you're looking forward to dessert, and it's crappy. Stale. That's this book. The middle was so good I almost forgot how convoluted the beginning was. Then the ending was so rushed, so derivative, that it left me sorry I picked this book up.

Marcia Clark writes well. Maybe I'll give her another chance, but not anytime soon.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

 

Well, that was a first

Today was the first Martin Luther King Jr. Day that I've ever worked. All my jobs since the 1980s were in offices so naturally we were closed on this federal holiday. Now I work in a card shop, and retail stores are open to accommodate all those school kids and office workers who were enjoying a long weekend. 

Except it was 9º today and no one was out and about. Not even the pre-teens who usually flock to our store and check out the scented candles and Jellycats. 

But I was busy. I was given the task of re-organizing our sale section and I did it! Since Halloween, when the store's busy season began, it's been an unorganized mess. It took me over 4 hours, but now it's neat, with separate sections for cards, gift tags/bags, mugs and gifts, office supplies, etc. I've never had responsibility for anything like this and I was quite proud of my efforts. Rose, the manager on duty, told me this was my area, with my decisions to make, and that I'd done well and she had no plans to change anything. 

YAY, ME!

It's funny. In my past life I was in charge of campaigns with six-figure budgets and I took 'em as they came. But the sale table at the card shop? I was nervous at first and now proud. So there you go.

We were also told by Corporate that today was the day we should "dispose of" all the holiday candy. So I stuffed my face with chocolate while I worked and stuffed my purse with more before I left. Hey, anything for the team. 

But now the day is almost over and I still haven't honored Dr. King. Bill Clinton described today's holiday as a time for "recognizing progress and supporting community service." I want to create some extra notes for Letters Against Isolation before bed so I can mail them on my way to the dentist tomorrow.

Learn more here

 

Because today is about more than a day off, or my small victory at the sale table, or chocolate or even Inauguration Day. It's for doing good in memory of a man who knew what he lived for and what he died for.

Rest in peace, Dr. King.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Careless Whisper (1985)

1) In this week's song, George Michael sings that, when it comes to relationships, "there's no comfort in the truth." Have you ever learned something about a friend, lover or relative that you wish you didn't know? Yes. Let's just leave it at that.

2) Though this was the top song of 1985, George wrote it years before, when he was still working as a dj at a restaurant outside London. He recalled the moment the sax solo popped into his head. It was while he was on the bus on his way to work. If you go to work, how do you get there (car, bus, train, etc.)? If you don't work outside the home, tell us about a trip you make regularly. I walk to work. I stride to the end of my block, turn right and walk until I hit the yoga studio. Then I turn left until I reach the card shop where I work. If there's no ice, I can make it in 8 minutes. (Not enough time to compose a sax solo.) I'm very lucky in that just about everywhere I go regularly is walkable.

 

3) The video for this song was very expensive. It was filmed on location all around Miami, including the luxury Grove Towers Condominiums, but then much of it had to be reshot because George didn't like his hair. Are you having a good hair day today? Ha! I'm answering these questions on Friday and I'm badly in need of the haircut I'm getting Saturday. I mean, right now, I have a mullet.

4) 1985 was a big year for George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley. As Wham! they had three songs on the charts and became the first Western pop music act to tour China. Have you ever visited China? Would you like to go? No, and no.

 
5) When he wasn't working, George was a creature of habit. For example, he never tired of Cocoa Puffs for breakfast and roast chicken for Sunday dinner. Is there a menu item you find yourself eating again and again? I like the breaded chicken strips (with honey mustard dipping sauce) from a nearby pizza joint and most weeks I get an order to go.

Rainbow Cone!

6) George enjoyed living quietly in Highgate, North London. It wasn't until after his death that his neighbors learned he was the "anonymous resident" who had been funding Highgate's Fair in the Square for years. Held in June each year, The Fair is known for its dog show, arts and crafts booths, music and food. Tell us about one of your community's annual events. The Taste of Chicago is one of the largest food festivals in North America. Typically there are 40 booths and a dozen food trucks, so you can find everything from ribs to rellenos to fried plantain to Rainbow Cones. (With all that variety,  it amuses me that my nephew takes this opportunity to compare/contrast different pizzas. Oh, well.) There's also live music. James Taylor, Phil Collins, Keith Urban, and CeeLo Green have all played there. It's a great place for people watching.

 

7) According to Car and Driver, when "Careless Whisper" was popular, so was the Chevy Cavalier, a compact car. Nearly 40 years later, the vehicle landscape is very different. There are fewer compacts sold and last year, the most popular Chevy was the Silverado, a light duty truck. Do you drive a car, a truck, or an SUV? I don't drive.

8) Also in 1985, Bill Shoemaker's earnings reached $100 million, making him the world's most successful jockey. Do you follow horse racing? Nope.

9) Random question -- In which race would you do better: the Iditarod, with sled dogs in Nome, or speeding in a race car at the Indy 500? Send me to Nome! I like dogs. I thrive in cold weather. Iditarod is fun to say.

 

Thursday Thirteen #394

 My Letterboxd list. Letterboxd is the online database that helps me keep track of my movie viewing. It's like Goodreads, but for movies. My 2024 stats have been compiled, and here they are.

1. Barbara Stanwyck is the actor/actress I spent the most time with in 2024. I saw 7 of her films. Three were with my movie group. She's the fave of our moderator, Will.

2. Elizabeth Taylor was second with six films. When I was a kid, I thought she was a gaudy, silly woman. Always on magazine covers, wearing big rocks and loud caftans and battling with Burton. In recent years I've come to admire her as an actress. This year I saw two of the six on the big screen -- National Velvet at the TCM Film Festival and Suddenly, Last Summer at Chicago's Music Box.

3. I saw five Jimmy Stewart films. Really the number is higher. I logged It's a Wonderful Life once but I saw at least parts of it three or four times over the holidays. On the other end of the spectrum is Rope. It's a very twisty Hitchcock movie loosely based on Leopold and Loeb. Shocking company to find George Bailey in!

4. Next up is Sinatra. His movie career was in three distinct parts. He got his start in formulaic MGM musicals and while he was a surprisingly good dancer, the movies were lightweight at best. Then he won an Oscar for a dramatic role in From Here to Eternity and it ushered in a decade of very good performances. Finally he became the leader of The Rat Pack and made a handful of yucky films with Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. This year I saw four of his best movies, made during that "sweet spot" period, and enjoyed them all thoroughly.

5. Gloria Grahame is a new discovery for me. You may know her as Violet, the blonde bad girl of Bedford Falls, in It's a Wonderful Life. This year I saw her in four movies, two which were new to me. She's a very sympathetic presence even though her movies are rather dark.

6. I saw four Robert Redford movies. Ah, Bob. Loved him since high school. I am glad that TCM is giving him props as an actor. Like Liz Taylor, I think his physical beauty distracted critics from his performances in real time.

7. Alfred Hitchcock is the director whose work I saw the most. I especially enjoyed seeing him remake one of his own films. He first did The Man Who Knew Too Much in 1934 and then revisited it twenty years later. I was fascinated to see what he changed, and what he kept.

8. I saw five Frank Capra movies. He's much beloved for It's a Wonderful Life and Meet John Doe. Frankly sentimental, ultimately optimistic films about America. I saw some his earlier and lesser known pictures this past year and I'm sorry to say his oeuvre is not completely top drawer. I'm not throwing shade. No one's work is always 100% successful. I was just surprised by how barely memorable some of them were.

9. The cinematographer whose work I saw most was Joseph Walker. We film nerds keep track of everything! Mr. Walker a very long career, beginning as an electrician in silents and was considered a trailblazer in talkies.

10. I rewatched Jailhouse Rock three times. Once on the big screen at the TCM Film Festival. I maintain that Elvis in the old cellblock dancing to the "Jailhouse Rock" is as iconic an image as Julie Andrews spinning around at the beginning of Sound of Music.

11. I rewatched Laura twice. Once with my movie group. I enjoy Clifton Webb as Waldo Lydecker so very much.

12. I rewatched the 1949 version of Little Women twice. I know film buffs will say this is the weakest version of the Louisa Mae Alcott classic and I understand that. It's just that it's the first version I ever saw and so I have a very warm spot in my heart for it.

13. The 2024 movie that I liked the best was The Fall Guy. Yeah, it was a silly action flick. But Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt have such tremendous chemistry!

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

An appreciation of imperfection

Like most Americans, I've been thinking a lot about Jimmy Carter. He was my first Presidential vote, and it was a privilege. He was a serious, patriotic and deeply religious man. He lived that old Methodist maxim: Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, all the times you can, for all the people you can, as long as you can.

He built homes, swinging the hammer himself, for Habitat for Humanity. He helped eliminate Guinea worm disease. He was born 100 years ago, but remained so relevant he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize early in 2002. He never shied away from speaking his mind. While he made himself available to every subsequent President -- including Trump -- they each felt the sting of his criticism. That didn't stop him from standing with Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton in condemning Trump's January 6 "Day of Love", calling it "a national tragedy."

Jimmy Carter was so inherently good and decent that his example could be intimidating. That's why I don't view what I am about to say here as a criticism.

He could be remarkably petty. Jimmy Carter couldn't stand Ted Kennedy. It was, on the President's side, immediate and personal. Like every President from Richard Nixon to George W. Bush, Carter initially grappled with how to "handle" the senior Senator from MA. But where the others found a way forward, even forging a legislative relationship with him, Carter did not. Would not. Could not. 

He insisted Ted Kennedy's opposition to him was personal. It was not. Kennedy thought Carter was both legislatively naive and too moderate, squandering an opportunity to move America to the left after Nixon and Watergate. Kennedy wasn't wrong about that, and it was a political -- not personal -- assessment.

Jimmy Carter just didn't like Ted Kennedy. He thought his achievements -- especially in the environment and education -- were dismissed by Kennedy, and it hurt. That's fair. He was resentful that Kennedy gave him no credit for breaking the mold of "Southern governor" set by George Wallace and Huey Long. That's also fair. Most of all, it galled him that Kennedy's destiny was "scripted," that the youngest brother's life was charmed and "easy." That is so incredibly unfair.

It's always shocked me that Jimmy Carter, the soul of empathy and charity, viewed Kennedy's life that way. Since the Kennedys were the original Kardashians, I refuse to believe Carter wasn't aware of this litany of tragedy and pain.

Age 9: His oldest sister, Rosemary, was incapacitated by a lobotomy and he never saw her again.* As an adult, he referred to it as when she was "disappeared" and poignantly recalled that as a little boy, he was afraid he'd be "disappeared," too.

Age 12: His oldest brother, Joe, was killed in WWII, blown apart in a mid-air explosion. No remains were recovered. Just one month later, his brother-in-law, Billy Cavendish, was killed by Nazi sniper.

Age 14: His sister, Kathleen (Billy's widow), died in plane crash.

Age 31: His brother was assassinated in Dallas.

Age 36: His brother was assassinated in Los Angeles. This left him patriarch and surrogate father to 13 children, in addition to his own 3.

Age 41: His 12-year-old son was diagnosed with cancer and lost a leg.

That brings us to 1973, when Carter and Kennedy were working together. How could a man as compassionate as Carter view such a life as "easy?" Yet Carter never backed away from his assessment. In fact, in 2010, a year after Kennedy's death, he mentioned on-camera to CBS' Lesley Stahl that Ted Kennedy had been expelled from college. Really? That is so beneath Jimmy Carter's dignity.

Yet I find it very comforting. I am far from perfect. I try to live a life that honors my faith, but I often fall short. So Jimmy Carter's life is an example to me yet again. Being imperfect is no excuse to not try to do better. Being imperfect does not mean I can't succeed.

Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, all the times you can, for all the people you can, as long as you can.

That was you, Mr. President. Thank you for your example. May you rest in the peace you so richly deserved.

*To clarify, he never saw her again during his father's' lifetime. None of the family defied old Joe's edict, not even the President of the United States. While nothing was officially announced, photos reveal Ted Kennedy (as well as Eunice, Rose and John, Jr.) began visiting Rosemary often in the 1980s, 40 years after her lobotomy. Rosemary outlived him.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? The Fall Girl by Marcia Clark. I was so impressed by Marcia Clark's true crime book (see below) that I decided to give her fiction a try. There's an awful lot going on here. Chicago DA Lauren Clayborne has to leave town in a hurry. She assumes a new identity and moves to a new city, Santa Cruz. There she crosses paths with Erika Lorman, the office superstar. Erika is prosecuting a high-profile murder case, with a popular celebrity chef as defendant. I'm not sure where this is going, but I'm going to stick with it. I like Clark's style, even if right now I'm not in love with her pacing.

 
2. What did you recently finish reading? Trial by Ambush by Marcia Clark. In the 1970s, when my feminism was awakening, Barbara Graham was important to me. In 1953 she was just the third woman ever put to death in California, and there were serious questions about her guilt and her treatment by the press and justice system. I remember thinking at the time, "She was executed for being a slut."

This book introduced me to all the nuances of the law and the trial, but yeah, Barbara Graham was executed for being a slut. 

I hadn't before realized that one of the people who helped bury Barbara -- figuratively and literally -- was another inmate. Donna Prow seduced Barbara into a sexual relationship and got her to incriminate herself. Barbara's love letters were read to the jury to inflame their anti-LGBTQ prejudice. What the jury never knew was that Donna had been enlisted by the State of California and was released early in exchange for her efforts. Kind of an "I was a lesbian for justice" situation. It was appalling. Especially when you consider that Donna was in prison for vehicular homicide, a crime she never denied. Donna, who undoubtedly killed someone, walked free while Barbara, who may not have, got the gas chamber. Have a nice day.

Barbara's story is told by Marcia Clark of OJ Simpson fame. She brings a prosecutor's sensibility to the case and even she was disgusted by the way the State of California behaved. One interesting aspect: Graham was prosecuted by J. Miller Levy. A long-time and highly successful DA in Southern California, he had been one of Clark's heroes ... until she researched the Graham trial. Hearing her come to grips with the clay feet of her idol was sad and compelling.

This one will stay with me for a while.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Calendar Girl (1960)
    

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) How will you keep track of your days/weeks in 2025? Do you have a desk planner? A wall calendar? A pocket planner? Do you use the app on your phone? I have an ASPCA wall calendar in the kitchen and pocket planner that's tucked in my address book (yes, I still have an old school address book).

Troy is the ASPCA's calendar boy

2) Consider your typical week. Which day tends to be your busiest? Either Monday or Tuesday. Monday, if I'm working, because I also have movie group that night. Tuesday is yoga and whatever doctor/dentist appointments I have planned. It's funny what passes for busy now that I've quit advertising. Since covid lockdown and retirement, I've become very, very comfortable with my days being wide open.

 

3) This week's artist, Neil Sedaka, is one of pop music's most prolific singer-songwriters, but his first love was classical music. He was so good that he trained at Julliard and won the accolade, "Best New York High School Pianist." Recall one of your passions from your high school years. I wrote a lot of fiction when I was a teenager. I brought my spiral notebook with me whenever I went babysitting and once the kids fell asleep, I became Louisa Mae Alcott.

4) Elton John has always enjoyed Sedaka's music and in the 1970s, when Elton was one of the world's top stars, he requested a meeting. If you had the power to contact and then meet anyone in the world, who would you choose? It changes. A month ago I would have said Doris Kearns Goodwin because she's a respected historian and we live in unprecedented times. Today I'd say Marcia Clark because I have questions about her book regarding the Barbara Graham case ... and of course I'd still like to ask her about OJ. Or maybe Justin Trudeau because he's yummy, newly single and soon to be out of the public eye for a while. I think I could learn to love Ottawa. (Yes, I am shallow.)

 
5) Sedaka appeared as the musical guest during the second season of Saturday Night Live. What's the most recent show you watched on TV? Was it live, from your dvr, or did you stream it? It was the news, so it was live.

6) His daughter Dara sings on TV and radio commercials. What advertising jingle sticks in your head? Anyone who has ever lived in Chicago knows the phone number for Empire.

 

7) In 1960, when "Calendar Girl" was popular, To Kill a Mockingbird was first published. Have you read it? Yes. It was assigned to us in high school and I loved it then -- much more than the book that followed it, Moby Dick, which I will not apologize for loathing -- and have revisited it as an adult. I think it's fascinating that the character of Dill was based on Truman Capote. Was there something in the water in little Monroeville, AL that created two of America's best writers?

8) Also in 1960, John F. Kennedy, Jr. was baptized in the Georgetown University Chapel. His godparents were Charles and Martha Bartlett, the couple who introduced his famous parents. Do you have any godchildren? Nope.

9) Random question -- Which did you enjoy more: the last week of 2024 or the first week of 2025? Christmas was a little hectic, but I had a tenacious cold and then a pinched nerve during the first week in January, so I'll go with the last week of 2024.