Thursday Thirteen #302

Thirteen "Dad Jokes." After doing TT's about Titanic, trips to the doctor and time in the dentist's chair, I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit. Some of these jokes will make you smile. Some will ... well, consider yourself warned.

1. Why do you need two pairs of socks for golf? In case you get a hole in one.

2. What does a tick have in common with the Eiffel Tower? They're both Paris sites.

3. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay we'd call them bagels.

4. Where do you learn how to make a banana split? Sundae school.

5. Why won't eggs tell one another jokes? They're afraid they'll crack each other up.

6. Why can't a nose be 12" long? Because then it would be a foot.

7. What did the cop say to his belly button? You're under a vest.

8. Why do nurses prefer red crayons? They have to draw blood.

9. How can you identify a dad joke? Easy! It's apparent.

10. How can you tell a dogwood tree? By its bark.

11. Why can't a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Because houses can't jump.

12. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

13. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Broken (in the best possible way) by Jenny Lawson. I've been hearing about Jenny Lawson forever. My oldest friend is a big fan. Goodreads and Amazon algorithms keep recommending her. And so here Jenny and I are.

 

So far this is about "the art of mortification." It's a memoir about the author's battle with autoimmune disease, depression, and anxiety. It's about the odd behavior and questionable decisions that have made up her life, and she shares these with admirable frankness and humor. So far I'm enjoying it, though not as I thought I would. I don't think Jenny is as funny as Jenny does. It's a little precious at times. But her heartbreaking candor when she gets around to seriously discussing her medical and mental issues is brave and touching.

2. What did you recently finish reading? What Happened to the Bennetts? by Lisa Scottoline. A family leaves the house one evening for their daughter's field hockey game. By the end of the night, everything changes. They are car jacked, and nothing -- NOTHING -- will ever be same again. 

 

Their entire lives changes on a dime. Scottoline gives us three-dimensional characters, which lends this story of crime and revenge resonance. There are savvy insights about the power of social media, too.  I enjoyed this, and the intricate plotting. I thought I had it figured out but I was wrong, and I love being fooled.

But geez, it was tooooo long! The action passages, with all the gunplay, went on and on and on. I wanted to skip them but didn't because even though they were boring, I was afraid Scottoline (craftsman that she is) would slip another plot twist in on me. 

 

Did I like this book? At times. Do I recommend it? It was entertaining but ultimately, I don't think I'll remember much about it in six months.

 

SPOILER ALERT: Nobody hurts the dog.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

Pasta and time travel

Guess who's happy. My oldest friend! She's been really low lately -- and her lows can be loooow -- but she decided to change her life. She joined a seniors-only dating service and was paired with a 60-something graphic designer who lives less than 5 miles from her. In the past week they've seen one another at least three times, including a dinner date at his place for fettuccine and an Outlander binge. She says she's too busy to talk, and this makes me happy because I believe her. She goes through periods where she doesn't answer my emails or pick up when I call because she's blue or hiding things from me or being pissy. No, this time she's actually occupied spending time with someone else. Going outside. Interacting with a person who isn't her cousin or daughter (who are practically the only people she's spoken to in years).

I'm delighted! Perhaps I should be more cautiously optimistic, because she has a tendency to idolize men and they can't live up to her expectations. But you know what? That may not happen for months ... or years ... or at all! What leads me to say this?

Guess who was wrong. That would be me! I was so sure that my oldest friend was embarking on one of her manic phases. When she gets like this, she becomes uncharacteristically driven and makes big, irreparable moves that aren't in her own best interest. I lost sleep, thinking of her either being scammed by this guy or traveling with him to Tijuana where they would celebrate their quicky marriage with matching tattoos. However, while I was tossing and turning, she was planning a day of pasta and time travel.   

Have I learned from this? Yes. Will I over-react and waste my time worrying? Most likely. But I hope when that happens I'll remember this episode and talk myself down.

Photo by Sdf Rahbar on Unsplash

Sunday Stealing

One to Ten 

One song that describes my life. "Hard Candy Christmas." I've had this internal dialog with myself countless times. I battle the blues but I always bounce back.

Two things I wish I had more of in my life. Money and self discipline.

Three ways I relax. Short naps, long showers, cuddling a cat.

Four of my best accomplishments. 1) The cats I've rescued. I've given good lives to animals other disposed of. 2) My relationships with my oldest friend and John. Those friendships are 60 and 40 years old respectively. We aren't connected by blood, just love and commitment. 3) The influence I've had. Since I retired in October, I've heard from former coworkers that I was a mentor and role model. Who knew? 4) My career. I spent 40+ years in advertising and maintained my integrity. Do not think that was easy.

Arriving today by 10:00 PM!

Five things I am looking forward to. 1) Celebrating Elaine's birthday today. She wants deli and so she shall have deli. I also picked up souvenirs for her when I was in John's Pass during my visit with my Cousin Rose. She's been a good and generous new friend and I'm happy to do these little things for her. 2) A clean bill of health for my cat. Constance MacKenzie and I are going to the vet tomorrow for a followup to her dental surgery. 3) My Amazon delivery. I'm getting a new toilet paper holder, and it's the little things that mean a lot. 4) Writing my Letters Against Isolation for the week. 5) Donald Trump's indictment. No one should be able to avoid legal consequences by threatening "protests." (As if the January 6 riot was a "protest.") What an undignified, unprincipled, unpatriotic narcissist we elected.

Six things I am grateful for. 1) My friends. 2) My sense of humor. 3) My resilience. 4) My cats. 5) My enthusiasm. 6) My faith.

Seven facts about me. 1) I say I'm 5'2 but that was always a lie. I suspect that now I'm closer to 5' even. 2) I'm the only one in my family with green eyes and I enjoy that. 3) I love baseball so much sometimes my heart hurts. 4) I'm always filled with anticipation when I settle into my seat in the dark and wait for the movie to start. 5) I was born at the stroke of midnight. 6) The hospital where I was born became a mental health facility. My dad used to tease me that it foreshadowed things to come. 7) Paul McCartney's voice always, always lifts my spirits.

Eight things I can see from where I am sitting. 1) My striped slipper socks.2) My glasses. 3) A stack of books. 4) A teddy bear with a t-shirt that says, "Someone at Florida Keys Community College loves me." It's a long-ago gift from my dear friend Henry. 5) A fan. It gets very hot in this apartment so I never put it away. 6) Connie Cat. 7) A wastebasket. 8) This framed Thomas McKnight print.

Nine words I would use to describe myself. 1) Short. 2) Pudgy. 3) Fun. 4) Loyal. 5) Loving. 6) Smart. 7) Opinionated. 8) Passionate. 9) Verbal.

Before she became an icon

Ten little things that make me happy. 1) A cat's purr. 2) Freshly laundered bedsheets and bath towels. 3) Bargains at the Dollar Store. 4) Clicking through the channels and landing on the original Law & Order. 5) Anthony Rizzo digging one out of the dirt. 6) My scent of lavender. 7) The color of the sky, regardless of the weather. 8) Finding forgotten money in my pocket. 9) Chocolate. 10) Discovering new-to-me photos of my all-time idol, JBKO. Here's the young wife of Sen. John F. Kennedy in 1954, continuing her education at Georgetown University.  

I, on the other hand, was wearing long underwear

It was about 20º today, 15º with the windchill. Snow flurries, too. I was bundled up because, after my hair cut and lunch with my nephew, I was walking about half a mile to CVS where I could stock up on essentials while taking advantage of my 30% off coupon and earn double rewards.*

My nephew met me at the salon, a little late. We'd had a miscommunication, not his fault or mine but the stylist's. Not a big deal. But my nephew arrived on foot -- his car isn't running well -- a little disheveled. Then we walked to the restaurant, stopping along the way at the convenience store so I could pick up a lottery ticket. 

We ate and gabbed. We talked baseball and The Boss. I'm very excited that he's not only discovered Bruce Springsteen, he's going to the summer concert at Wrigley Field! I love how much we have in common. I love how he still enjoys spending time with me.

We're alike in ways beyond our passion for baseball in music. For it was at the restaurant I saw he was wearing his Cubs sandals. 

Let that sink in: he wandered through the below freezing wind and snow in his Cubs sandals. He was afraid he was going to late and didn't take the time (which would have been what? 3 minutes?) to put on shoes and socks. 

I was worried about him walking home that way. Some may say that, at 22, he should know better, but I'm not judging him. For I remember that long ago Chicago February, Valentine's Day, when I wanted my lover to see me in my new strappy heels. He liked my legs and and not only did the shoes make them good great, they matched the belt I was wearing with my purple dress. (I remember the dress, too.) On the way to the restaurant, my cab got stuck in traffic. I could see my destination -- less than three blocks. So I paid the driver and got out in the middle of the street, tottering on those heels on the cold, rain-slicked streets, feeling the water seep into my shoes. My legs may have looked good, but my feet were cold and miserable all night. But I just couldn't sit in that cab a moment longer.

Blood will tell.

*I am now but a poor retiree on a fixed income and these things are more important to me now.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Rocky Road to Dublin (2008)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a young man who leaves home to seek his fortune. How old were you when you first moved out on your own? 18. I loved that teeny-tiny apartment. I don't know that I could handle a third-floor walk up anymore, though! Traversing that spiral staircase with laundry or groceries was a challenge when I was a teenager.

2) He leaps onto a ship but the captain makes him sleep in the hold with pigs. Have you ever taken a cruise? (If so, we hope you had better accommodations.) I've never taken a cruise.

 

I took this myself! The closest I've ever been to HIM.

3) This recording of the song is by The High Kings. Well established in Ireland, their career reached new heights in March 2012. Right after playing for the Lord Mayor of London's St. Patrick's Day celebration, they flew to Washington to perform for President Obama at the White House St. Patrick's Day concert. Tell us about a time when you were so happy, you had to pinch yourself to make sure you weren't dreaming. Summer of 2011. Sir Paul McCartney played two nights at Wrigley Field and I was there both nights! My favorite person in my favorite place. The timing was very important to me. It was during my cancer scare which resulted in a hysterectomy (everything turned out to be, blessedly, benign) and I really needed the distraction and respite as I waited for my surgery to be scheduled.

 

4) This song was chosen because Friday was St. Patrick's Day. Do you celebrate this holiday? I have. I probably will again. But I didn't really this year.

 

5) Leprechauns are a symbol of St. Patrick's Day. These small Irish fairies are said to live in the forest, guarding their gold. Do you often wear gold? No. I prefer silver.

6) McDonald's has made Shamrock Shakes a St. Patrick's Day tradition. McDonald's began adding the drive-thru window to their restaurants in the 1970s. Would you rather order from the restaurant counter or the drive-thru? I don't have a car, so the drive-thru would be pretty dangerous.

7) A four-leaf clover is considered good luck. Do you have a lucky charm? I did, but I lost it. Which made me very sad.

 

8) Thinking of Lucky Charms, they are magically delicious. What breakfast cereal is in your kitchen right now? I have oatmeal. Does that count?

  
9) Random question: Think of your upcoming week. Which day will be the busiest? I have something going on every day Saturday through Wednesday. Some of it fun (lunch with my nephew, celebrating Elaine's birthday), some of it not (dental checks for both me and my cat Connie). It's hard to say which day will be the busiest, or the most expensive.

Thursday Thirteen #301

Thirteen reasons to go to the dentist. It seems my life consists of watching baseball and going to the dentist. The first is my passion, the second my avocation. There is so much wrong with so many teeth I shan't enumerate my maladies here. Instead I'll share 13 common reasons dentists and dental insurance companies report that we climb into the chair.

1. Annual check up. 'Nuff said.

2. Accidents. Patients make more emergency appointments in spring and summer, injuring their teeth in sports or DIY projects in the yard or garage.

3. Other medical treatments. Radiation, hormone replacement therapy, and certain prescription drugs can have an impact on teeth and gums.

4. Pregnancy. Hormones can accelerate tooth decay and gingivitis.

5. Sensitivity to hot or cold. This could mean your teeth have worn down to the point that the root or nerve are exposed.

6. Pain. Toothaches can be brutal.

7. Swelling in your face or neck. This could be caused by a tooth problem you can't see, like gum disease or infected roots.

8. Bleeding gums. Even a little blood in the sink on a regular basis warrants attention, because gum disease won't get better on its own.

9. Dry mouth. Not producing enough saliva can lead to tooth decay.

10. Bad breath. It's not only embarrassing, it could indicate oral infection.

11. Your jaw pops or locks. Trouble opening and closing your mouth could be temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ).

12. Tongue trouble. Sores and spots on your tongue could be caused by simple irritation or something more serious and you should get them checked out.

13. A better smile. Dentists are your go-to for tooth whitening.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

It won't be my fault. My shrink said so!

Tuesday was my weekly Zoom session with my shrink. I'm trying to make progress, really I am. At least now I'm asking the right questions.

I'm very worried about my oldest friend. She is bipolar, and when she is in the manic phase she makes very bad, sometimes irreparable, decisions. I believe that could be where she's heading now. It scares me.

After months of insisting she's happier now than she's ever been -- even though she has not made a single friend since she moved to California over a decade ago, is unemployed, has health/mobility issues, and is living in a granny flat behind a bigger house that's inhabited by people she barely knows and doesn't especially like and has a landlady who is pressuring her to move NOW -- she is now suddenly saying she's "sick of being a shut-in." 

What a zero-to-sixty change in attitude! That's a red flag.

So what is she doing to change her life? Is she concentrating on getting healthy, or joining a book club, or taking a class? No, she impulsively joined an online dating service. She even admitted she did it on impulse. Impulsivity is a red flag.

We've been here before. She imbues males with the power to rescue.* She's always disappointed. Not only that, she had her first date pick her up and drop her off at home. So this man that she met online now knows that she's physically vulnerable, alone, tucked in back of the big house. This upsets me because I'd prefer she not be the subject of a true-crime podcast.

Bad judgement is a red flag, too.

Here I am, 2,000 miles away. Helpless to help. I'm afraid of what's happening, and there's nothing I can do. It's massively distressing.

My shrink tells me that:

1) I'm not wrong. I am unable to help. She's going to do what she's going to do and I can't stop her.

2) Anything that happens has nothing to do with me. While that's painful and frustrating, it's also liberating. None of this is my fault.

3) It could go well. This man she went out with might call her back. They could have a happy relationship. After all, my friend is funny, pretty and kind. She has a lot to offer! And by dating him, she could meet his friends and expand her world. All that would be good. In fact, nothing would make me happier.

This is what my Cousin Rose was so artlessly trying to tell me when I visited her in Tampa. Next time I write to her, I must tell her I understand it better now. I know Rose loves me and means well and besides, she's right.

On a small, micro-level, I felt better when I logged off than when I logged on. That's a victory, isn't it?

*When she was summoned to the principal's office to discuss her grade-school-aged daughter's behavior problems, she pulled her son from high school to accompany her. That was when she still lived here and had friends and neighbors she could have asked for support. Yet somehow she believed her son's pubescent Y chromosome was going to protect her.

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? What Happened to the Bennetts? by Lisa Scottoline. A typical nuclear family -- Mom, Dad, 2 kids, and dog -- are taking the scenic route home from the daughter's field hockey game. They're in high spirits: her team won, and Dad is finally getting comfortable behind the wheel of the family's new luxury car. And then, in a truly harrowing passage, they are car jacked.

This is Scottoline, so I know characters will turn out to be far from what they seem and there are lots of twists and turns awaiting me in these pages. I also know I'll either be gripped and enthralled (as I was with Every Fifteen Minutes) or annoyed and disgusted (as I was by Dirty Blonde).  That's how it goes with me and Lisa.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter by Randy L. Schmitt. I didn't expect to be as moved by this book as I was. Karen Carpenter was a nice girl, a flawed heroine, a uniquely talented singer. She committed slow suicide by anorexia. Her family never understood her, or the disease she battled, and tacitly seem to blame Karen's doctors for her death by allowing her to gain weight too fast, thereby straining her heart. They conveniently ignore the ipecac syrup found in Karen's system at the time of her death. 

This family conveniently ignored a lot. Like how Karen struggled to be seen and heard by her parents, her brother, and management. The story of Karen's solo album is particularly disturbing. Richard blocked it during her lifetime, but you can hear it here. Produced by Grammy winner Phil Ramone, with backup support from Chicago's Peter Cetera and Billy Joel's band, Richard felt it wasn't releaseable because it was too far from The Carpenters' sound. That was the point, Richard! It was her creative statement as an artist, not just as The Carpenters' "lead sister," as she was called. She longed to be more than an extension of her family.

 

But Randy L. Schmitt is very even-handed. His very fairness makes the story more credible and relatable. Richard isn't a villain. He was hard working, talented, and struggling with his own demons. Mother Agnes Carpenter isn't a monster, either. She was an unsophisticated woman watching her family cope with the pressures of celebrity. She made disastrous decisions, but she was naive, not evil. (Though her casual racism and anti-semitism is hard to take.) Father Harold Carpenter loved both his wife and his daughter and felt helpless to interfere.

This is the best book I've read so far this year.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

 

Sunday Stealing

LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY PENPALS

1. Do you make new friends easily? Yes. I'm lucky that way.

 

2. Which podcasts do you like at the moment? The Book of Joe is my favorite baseball podcast. I'd rather have Joe Maddon's voice in my head than just about anyone else's. TCM's The Plot Thickens is my favorite entertainment podcast. I'm waiting for the next season to start.

3. One thing that immediately makes your day better. My cats.

 

4. What app do you use most? Weatherbug.

 

5. The friends who would have your back no matter what. I think of the two I've known the longest. John (1981) and my oldest friend (1964).

 

6. What is something you’ll never do again? Drink wine. Since menopause, it gives me the most bitching migraines.

 

7. Something you practice often. Bad judgement.

 

8. What gives you an adrenaline rush? Baseball sounds: The crack of the bat, the ball landing in the mitt.

 

9. How well do you do in social situations? Depends. I was always more comfortable professionally than personally, but I'm no longer in that setting.

 

10. Are you a light sleeper or a deep sleeper? I'm a fitful sleeper.

 

11. Do you get stage fright? No.

 

12. Which family members are you closest to? My nephew is one of my favorite people in the world.

 

13. How was your February? Rather tumultuous. I had some additional and unexpected dental problems.

14. What is your favorite candle scent? I don't have one.

 

15. One book that you would recommend as a "must read?' The Princess Bride. Even if you've seen the movie, check out the book. It has tremendous heart and wisdom, as well as the funny stuff you've seen on the screen.

 

 

Oh, the week she's had!

Constance MacKenzie, my little girl cat, is purring like a motorboat as I write this, and it's the most glorious sound in the world. For Thursday was the most awful day she could imagine. But here it is, Saturday night, and she survived and is back to being her old sweet self.

She was suffering from Stage 3 Periodontal Disease. There are only 4 stages. Deep cleaning and scaling were required to remove the plaque, a tooth was extracted, and cells from the site of the recurring oral sore were sent to the lab to rule out anything dire. This was complicated and expensive, and she understood none of it.

What she did understand was that she was Outside. Connie hates Outside. I could leave the front door wide open and she wouldn't even approach it. All she needs in the world is in this condo.

Worse than Outside, she was away from me and surrounded by strangers. Unfamiliar hands and voices! Her front leg was shaved for an IV.

There were dogs at the vet. Connie is never, ever around dogs. 

When she awoke, she was stoned. Disoriented. In a cage. It was awful. What fresh hell is this?

They put her in her carrier and brought her to me. As soon as she heard my voice she started purring so loud I could hear her from a few feet away. The guilt was enormous. She didn't think of me as the monster who brought her to the vet. I was only the angel who rescued her.

When I got her home, she was happy to see Roy Hobbs but was unsteady on her feet and very confused. She wanted to be sure her water and her box were where they were supposed to be, though she didn't use them. Then she hid under my bed. Where she stayed for more than 12 hours.

I was worried because the anesthetic she was given in the hospital would be wearing off and I wanted to give her a pain pill. But I didn't want to reach under the bed and drag her out. That would be too cruel. She has a brain the size of a plum pit, and she's trying to process all that had happened to her. So I crushed her pain pill and mixed it into a few spoonfuls of Gerber baby meat. I slid the bowl under the bed and she lapped it up. The medication did the trick and when she started feeling better, she ventured back into her world.

Where she's been ever since.

I don't know if she's feeling better, now that the infected tooth is gone and her gum is healing. Or if she's just so relieved to be back in her familiar surrounding and her old routine. But all she does is rub up against me and purr. And purr. And purr.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Pass Me By (1965)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, Peggy Lee tells us she wiggles her toes in the sand. Have you been to the beach yet in 2023? Do you expect to wiggle your toes in the sand when you're on vacation this year? I was just in Tampa (see post below), and here are my freshly pedicured toes in the sand.

 

2) She also sings that contemplating nature can be fascinating. What flora and fauna can you see from your window as you answer these questions? I'm posting from my bedroom, where unfortunately the view is of the roof next door.

3) With this song, she's telling everyone to take her as she is or leave her be. Does that reflect your attitude? Or are you a "people pleaser" who worries what others think of you? Less so with each passing year. To borrow from Peggy, if you don't happen to like me, thank you kindly, pass me by.

4) These lyrics were written by Carolyn Leigh. She began her career as an advertising copywriter but, since she showed a flair for poetry and rhymes, she was urged by a music publisher to write lyrics. Have you ever tried your hand at poetry? Only when forced to. I have strengths as a writer, but poetry is not among them. To be honest, I don't enjoy reading poetry, either. (Do you respect me less?)

5) This song was composed for the 1964 movie Father Goose, starring Cary Grant. Are you a fan? Do you just vaguely know the name? Or are you wondering what a Cary Grant is? I love Cary Grant! So versatile! Adept at physical comedy, romance and drama. And damn near perfect. Here's his actual passport picture. Doesn't he look like he just walked off a movie set?

 

Always impeccable

 

6) This was a top-20 hit for Peggy Lee. As a girl in North Dakota during the 1930s, Peggy lived above the train station where her father was depot agent. Today that depot is home to a museum which features a Peggy Lee Exhibit. Have you recently visited a museum? While I was in Florida I visited the Tampa History Center. 

 

I love a pirate ship

7) Designer Bonnie Erickson was also grew up in North Dakota and used her girlhood idol as the inspiration for her most famous creation: Miss Piggy. A diva with flowing blonde hair and jewelry, the puppet was originally called Miss Piggy Lee. As the character gained in fame with The Muppets, the name was shortened to Miss Piggy because Bonnie didn't want to offend Peggy Lee, whom she genuinely admired. Tell us something you have done recently to spare someone's feelings. I kept my opinion to myself. As I get older I find that I don't need to share every thought that crosses my mind. Often "keeping it real" is unnecessary, hurtful and rather narcissistic. That's not who I want to be. I'd rather be kind.

8) While Peggy Lee often changed her hairstyle with the times, she was always a blonde. She considered those lustrous locks her trademark. Are you having a good hair day today? Yes.

9) Random question: What's the perfect way to spend a lazy afternoon? Eating pizza and watching a great movie, like Holiday with Katharine Hepburn and the estimable Mr. Cary Grant.

 

Tampa recap

I haven't posted much about my trip to Florida because it was four complicated days. Because my relationship with my cousin is so complicated. When I was growing up, Rosie was my idol, my role model, and my champion within the family. I love her for that. My unhappy adolescence would have been damn near unendurable without her. 

But now I'm 65 and she's 77. It's different now than it was when I was 15 and she was 27. I don't need her to show me the way anymore, and her incessant "nudging" makes me crazy. Everything I do is suspect or at the very least up for review. Everything is an argument. Why, after she said she'd pay for lunch, did I offer to leave the tip? What's the point of that? Why, after shopping for souvenirs, didn't I slip the shopping bag into my purse? Have I considered how much money I'd save if I didn't have cats? Even this: How can I prefer the original Magnum PI to the remake when "Tom Selleck has always been so annoying?" Most infuriating -- and, I suppose, amusing -- is that I "care too much" about my friends. I'm "too involved." I have to acknowledge that "they have a right to do as they choose." Um, Rose? Don't I have a right to do as I choose?

But there's this: she loves me very much. This whole trip, centered around the Yankees spring training, was because I love baseball. My first night there she hosted a pot luck in my honor with all the Florida cousins. ("Everybody wants to see you, Gal!") We visited the museum along the Tampa Riverwalk because she knows I love museums and the Chicago River Walk. We went to super-touristy John's Pass -- definitely not her thing -- because I like little shops.

She wanted this trip because she worries about me "worrying too much." She wanted to see for herself that I'm OK. How can that not melt me? Also, we experienced my visit very differently. I wanted to slip into her room and smother her with her pillow as she slept. When I was at the airport, waiting to board my plane home, she texted me dates when the Yankees play the Rays so I can come back for a regular season game. (Not gonna happen.)

And there's this: I'm 65 and she's 77. How much time do I think we have? As it is, right now she's one of two people left on earth who held me when I was a baby. She walks with a cane. I've already outlived my dad. I want to appreciate her when I can.

Now here's an overview of the trip (except for the Yankee-Tiger game, which I covered off on here.)

Riverwalk and Tampa Bay History Center. I admit I love this nerdy stuff, and so does Rose. We enjoyed different parts of the museum -- I loved the pirates and sports stuff and I learned she has a love of cartography.

2008 with Tampa was Cub Manager Joe Maddon's first trip to the World Series

We had a lovely lunch at the Museum, too. The Columbia Cafe has great food and a lovely view of the Riverwalk. While the Chicago River Walk has its charms and is still my favorite, I admit I'll never see this sign here.

Part of why I'm happy to be a Lake Michigan girl!

I learned that modern-day Tampa has cable cars between tourist attraction. Not buses painted to look like cable cars. ACTUAL CABLE CARS! I wish we'd taken one, but Rosie is very car-centric and public transportation just doesn't occur to her.

At John's Pass, we ate seafood and ice cream, shopped, and took a boat ride where I saw beautiful colors, big birds, and DOLPHINS!

It's like he wanted me to take his picture

Thursday Thirteen #300

 Thirteen top reasons we visit the doctor. It seems that as I get older, my body is rebelling more and more. I shouldn't complain -- two of my dearest friends walk with canes and two others are suffering cognitive decline, so I guess I'm doing OK and and I'm feeling better as a result of all this medical attention. But reflecting on this inspired me to research why we go to the doctor.

In 2021, this is what brought us to the doctor. (Covid isn't included because for that, it seems patients were routinely advised to go to the ER.)

1. Shortness of breath
   
2. Abdominal pain
   
3. Hypertension
   
4. Headaches
   
5. Fever
   
6. Nausea
   
7. Cough and congestion
   
8. Urinary tract infection
   
9. Earaches
   
10. Dizziness
    
11. Diarrhea
    
12. Weak or tired
    
13. Muscle aches
    

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter by Randy L. Schmitt. I admit I have a love-hate relationship with The Carpenters. I love Karen's voice, I hate the syrupy arrangements. I always wondered what Karen could have achieved if she'd had a solo career. Apparently I'm not alone. 

So far the author seems to agree with me. While I was thinking primarily of her recording career, he maintains Karen might have blossomed on her own personally, as well, had she escaped her family. I appreciate how sensitive and compassionate this portrait is so far.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Jackie & Me by Louis Bayard. This historic romance novel puts a new spin on an oft-told tale: the courtship between Sen. John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier. But the "me" in the title isn't JFK, it's Lemoyne Billings, Kennedy's lifelong best friend. Mr. Bayard imagines the relationship between Jackie and Lem, two outsiders welcomed into The Kennedy Clan because they were with Jack.

 

This book is about a lot of things: how Jackie and Lem became friends through loving the same man; about what they each gained and gave up by giving themselves over to a family literally oozing with money with power; how Lem lived as a closeted gay man in the 1950s; Jackie's evolution from quiet, lonely and unsure working girl to iconic political wife. 

While it held my interest and is very well written, it's important to remember that it's fiction. No one knows for sure what Jack said to Lem about Jackie or what Lem said to Jackie about Jack. This is Bayard's take on a fairy tale, and I enjoyed it on those terms.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

 

It began with Mimi

I've been very lucky with this blog. In the 17 years that I've been chronicling and sharing my life, I've met some really terrific people. Bloggers who lift me when I'm down, who have expanded my world view, who have recommended books. I am very frank here, and I feel like my readers know me better than many people I encounter in real life, where I pull my punches and worry more about appearances.  

One of my first blog buddies was royalty: Queen Mimi of Bloggingham. She's warm and funny and real. An advocate for peace and the founder of Blog4Peace, because words matter. She began reading my posts early on, which means she's had a front row seat for my evolution. Her respect and affection matter to me.

Which is why I was delighted to return from a getaway to Tampa and find a big box of goodies from Bloggingham waiting for me! Chocolates and peeps. Scented, girly stuff. A handwritten note from the monarch herself. Plus a pitcher from Italy and a liberty blue plate.

Beautiful. Thoughtful. Perfect.

I had purchased postcards in Tampa to send to friends but had misaddressed one before I could write the message. I was going to throw it out but didn't. (Snarkypants would say I was responding to a "ping" from the universe.)  It turned out to be a nice, colorful vehicle for a thank you note, sent from my humble Chicagoland home to the Castle.

As does this. Thank you, Mimi.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Wagon Wheel (2013)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week, Darius Rucker sings about hitching a ride to reach his lady love. Have you ever thumbed a ride? No. My parents and teachers emphasized that it was dangerous. Besides, there was a bus that ran between the malls/movie theaters, and when I was in high school that's where I always wanted to go.

 

2) Along the way, he loses his money in a poker game. Successful poker players are good at bluffing, or misleading others about about their cards. Are you good at bluffing, whether at cards or in life? I am about as transparent as a glass of water.

3) Darius began has career as the lead singer of 90s soft-rock band Hootie and the Blowfish. Today he's a country singer. Let's say you're stuck in traffic and only one radio station comes in clearly. Would you prefer it play soft rock or country? Soft rock.

 

4) Darius Rucker will be on tour throughout 2023, playing dates all over the country and making a couple stops in Cancun. Have you ever visited Mexico? If so, where did you go? No. I'll never go to Mexico because you know what they eat in Mexico? Mexican food. 

 

Mexican food is my downfall. You look at this and say, "Yum!" I look and say, "Thank God for the 1000 sheet roll of toilet paper."

 

 

Photo by Roberto Carlos Román Don on Unsplash

5) Darius has lent his talents to fundraising for The First Tee, a non-profit that teaches children "life lessons, self-confidence, and resilience through golf." Did you participate in organized sports as a youngster? If yes, what did you play? The gal was not an athlete.

6) A big sports fan, he has six TVs in his home so he can watch several games at once. His largest set is 70". When it comes to TV screens, do you believe bigger is better? Or are you just as comfortable watching from your laptop or phone? I'd rather watch TV than my laptop or phone.

 
7) In 2013, when "Wagon Wheel" was popular, fans were flocking to the movie theater to see Catching Fire, the second in the Hunger Games series. Are you a Hunger Games fan? Not at all.

8) Also in 2013, the word "selfie" was added to the Oxford Dictionary. Do you take a lot of selfies? No. I don't know if my arms aren't long enough or what, by any selfie I take with my phone looks awful. The ones I take with the Photo Booth app on my laptop aren't so bad.

9) Random question: If we paid you $5,000, would you get Saturday 9 tattooed on your right forearm? No, but thank you for offering.