![]() |
| Rita Hayworth feeling bookish |
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Tuesday, March 02, 2021
WWW.WEDNESDAY
This will make you happy. I promise!
Sunday, February 28, 2021
February Blogging Challenge -- The Last Day
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
28) What are you holding onto that it's time to let go of?
I have so much stuff in my walk in closet! Carpet remnants, window screens, a broken stereo ... all stuff I thought I might need for something some day. Guess what: I don't.
When I finally get the TV situation sorted out, I'm going to call the junk removal service and have much of this extraneous stuff hauled away.
Saturday, February 27, 2021
Happy, happy, happy!
My little old man will be 17 years old in April. That's the equivalent of 84 in human years. He'd been "off" lately: manic in his begging but picky about his food and losing weight, vomiting, confused and worried about being alone.
But since we started on the meds last month, he's gained 8 oz., he's eating more normally and I've found fewer wet surprises on the carpet. The bloodwork proves it: it's working!
This medication can lose efficacy after two years. But then he'll be 19, and 19 to a cat is 92 to a human. That's as much as I have any right to hope for.
I am feeling so grateful right now.
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 27
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
27) What is something you want more of in your life?
Peace of mind. Contentment.
We're in the last innings, my loved ones and me. We're dealing with health issues we never had before. We're into, or are looking at, retirement and it's not going to be as comfortable for any of us as we'd just always assumed. (Oh, let's face it: some of us never thought this time would come!)
But there's a beauty to every season. I want to enjoy this time instead of worrying so much.
Friday, February 26, 2021
Saturday 9
BILLS, BILLS, BILLS (1999)
Unfamiliar with this
week's tune? Hear it here.
2)
How often do you pay your bills? Do you handle them as they come in, or
do you pay weekly, bi-weekly or monthly? Or are you lucky enough to
have someone else handle your bills? Every Wednesday, if I can. I get paid on the 15th and the last day of the month, so some bills have to wait more than a week for payday to arrive.
3) Destiny's Child had a hit with "Bills, Bills, Bills." This girl group got their start in Houston, TX. During the recent, bruising storm, lead singer Beyonce sent food, money and water to her home state. Have you spent much time in the Lone Star State? I toured the Dallas area with my client's sales rep to get a better idea of their business in the region. It was early in my career, and it felt very sophisticated ... flying out, taking the sales rep to lunch and paying with my expense account (!), swimming in the motel pool before I turned in for the night. In retrospect, I smile because the rep and I ate at Chili's and it was such a modest motel. I bet it was one of the cheapest expense reports the accounting team ever received! But it's still a fond memory.
4) Beyonce is the breakout star of the group and went on to have a highly successful solo career. Can you think of another star who began his/her career as the member of a group? The supreme Miss Ross. With the passing of Mary Wilson earlier this year, Diana Ross is the last of the original Supremes who blasted onto the charts in 1964.
![]() |
| Florence, Mary and Diana |
9) Random question -- We've all met people who aren't exactly as they present themselves. Are you good at spotting a phony? I admit I have been fooled.
Kathy and Rita
At the beginning of yesterday's call with Kathy, I told her I only had 45 minutes. Now 73, she has trouble with her memory. It's beyond garden-variety forgetfulness that comes with age. During every conversation she will say -- at least once -- that she "recently had a problem" with her brain but "it fixed itself." No, it hasn't. She has never mentioned this to a doctor and won't because she insists she's "fine." She's not.
Kathy is also a long-time friend. I've known her since the mid-1980s. During my bout with covid, she was very thoughtful and supportive. I want to maintain my relationship with her. I just don't want to be angry or depressed when I hang up. Hence, the 45 minute limit.
I told her that I had to log onto Zoom at 4:15. Later in the call, I reminded her, referring to it as "a conference call," just in case she forgot what Zoom is.
Most of the call was pleasant. We talked about her love of jigsaw puzzles, which has grown during the pandemic. I told her that this past year I've reread some favorite books. She briefly touched on how hard it is for her to read these days -- that she has to reread paragraphs sometimes. Then we started talking about my love of the Cubs, and she said it makes her happy to think of how happy I must be for spring training.
Somehow we got on the subject of my favorite grandmother's jersey. My cousin liked to take Grandma to Wrigley Field for Mother's Day, and she always wore a Cub cap and her #23 Ryne Sandberg jersey for the occasion. She looked adorable, by the way. We buried her with the cap in her hands, and after she'd been gone for a while, my cousin gave me her jersey because I was now our "matriarch of Cub fans." I love wearing that jersey.
I thought -- since Kathy said she enjoyed my Cubbie love -- that she would like that story. She's a grandmother herself, after all.
Somehow it made her edgy. She started to tell me a story that confused me about her sister Kim ("the one with the big mouth") and her brother and their father. I really wasn't following it and whatever she was trying to tell me was upsetting her. AND it was nearly 4:15.
"I'm sorry to do this to you, but I've got to go. It's 4:14. I've got a meeting, remember?"
"Isn't that like you! You end things when it's comfortable for you to end them. Just like you!"
Wow. Now she's lashing out.
"Look," I said evenly, "I told you I had to go at 4:15. I have to go. It's payday tomorrow and every once in a while they expect me to do something to earn it."
"Oh, OK. Goodbye."
I was relieved to end the call but sorry it ended on such a negative note. It left me rattled all evening.
Apparently she was, too, because she sent me a text before she went to bed, apologizing.
Fortunately, I just finished a book about Rita Hayworth. A major movie star in the 1940s and 1950s, she retired from the public eye when she was 53. The glamor girl was appearing in public angry and disheveled. It was assumed that she was an alcoholic. It was early onset Alzheimer's, a disease not well known or understood in the 1970s. Rita's outbursts were born not of booze but of terror and frustration she could not communicate.
So the Love Goddess of WWII and the retired real estate agent in Dekalb have a lot in common: Forgetfulness, confusion and anger at their vulnerability. The book about Rita was unremittingly sad. But I'm glad I read it, for it will remind me to be more compassionate.
Just as a biography I read about Johnny Carson, of all people, gave me insights into my Cousin Rose. I'm so grateful when I learn from what I read!
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 26
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
26) Most companies have a set of core values that act as guiding principals for their operations. On a personal level, what are your core values?
At the TCM Film Festival, in an interview about his career making movie music, Burt Bachrach said "Alfie" was his favorite song. While he wrote the melody, which is haunting and lovely, it's Hal David's lyrics that have always gotten to me, ever since I was a little girl. It puts my Christian faith in such accessible, conversational terms.
We live in a country where some in the Christian community cling to Donald Trump with his casual cruelty, his win-at-any-cost mentality and the way he equates force with strength. My response is this lyric:
If only fools are kind, then I guess it is wise to be cruel. And if life belongs only to the strong, what will you lend on an old Golden Rule?
As sure as I believe there's a Heaven above, I know there's something much more, something even non-believers can believe in. I believe in love.
When you walk, let your heart lead the way and you'll find love any day.
I try to live this. I fall short often. I have an impetuous nature and a bad temper, both of which get in the way.
But I do believe this. It reflects who I want to be. And God knows how hard I try.
Thursday, February 25, 2021
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 25
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
25) What is a topic you could talk about for hours if you had a captive audience? What would you tell them?
Junk conspiracy theorists love to point to superficial similarities between the Kennedy and Lincoln assassinations (Both their names have seven letters! Both were shot in the head!) and conclude the two events were somehow destined. I'm more interested in the real-life similarities between their wives.
In addition to sitting beside their husbands when they were shot, both Mary Lincoln and Jacqueline Kennedy:
• Were "daddy's girls" and sure they were their father's favorite
• Lost a child before entering the White House (Mary's son Eddie, Jackie's still-born daughter Arabella) and then again as First Lady (Mary's son Willie, Jackie's son Patrick)
• Spoke fluent French, which their husbands believed lent them a little reflected class
• Made their husbands crazy with their spending on clothes
• Were discouraged from being with their husbands when they died (Mary was banished from the deathbed, Jackie literally slugged a nurse to get into the trauma room)
• Lived abroad as widows -- Mary and her son Tad spent years traveling through Europe and Jackie lived in Greece with her second husband, Aristotle Onassis
This is off the top of my head. I'm sure there's more if I looked it up.
I'm not implying that these similarities mean the assassinations were cosmically connected. That's ridiculous. But I do wonder what it was like in Heaven when they met. I suspect Mary said, "At last! Someone who gets me!"
Wednesday, February 24, 2021
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 24
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
24) What is something you've been avoiding? Why are you putting it off? How would you feel if you took care of it?
I need a new TV. I don't want one, I need one. I still have a tube TV and last year, at the beginning of the pandemic, when an Xfinity repairman upgraded my modem, he told me that "soon" the box next to my TV would no longer be supported.
I'm putting it off for three reasons:
1) My old-school TV suits my purposes and I hate to see something in a landfill that's still working
2) I haven't purchased a new TV in (literally) 20 years and I'm worried that the one I choose won't work with my Xfinity services and I'll lose everything on my DVR
3) I'll have to beg and plead for a cable guy to come out because NO WAY can I hook up this TV alone.
It's easier to pull the covers over my head and maintain the status quo. Though I guess the decision really isn't mine.
I'll feel better when it's done. But the step-by-step of it -- choosing the TV, having it delivered, wooing Xfinity to send someone out with the new equipment and to take the old box away, and then calling a junk man to take the TV (and lots of other stuff) away -- gives me agita.
Tuesday, February 23, 2021
WWW.WEDNESDAY
![]() |
| Rita Hayworth feeling bookish |
You thought the plot of Murder on the Orient Express was complicated? Well, buckle up. This short book is filled with so much action in so many locations -- London, the Riviera, Johannesburg, a deserted island, a luxury liner and more than one train -- and has so many characters that it's easy to get turned around.
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 23
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
23) Who gets on your last nerve? What do they do that bothers you so much? Why does it bother you so much? Why do you think they do that? Now what is an endearing quality they have?
Dizzy Betty from movie group!
What does she do that bothers me so much?
• We meet on Zoom now, and she is forever adjusting her monitor to use it as a mirror to fix her hair. This detracts attention from the person who is talking.
• There's a sameness to her comments.. "How about Cary Grant [or Joan Crawford]? Wasn't he [she] gorgeous?" Yeah, Betty, that advances the conversation.
• You can count on her to miss MAJOR plot points.
Betty: Was anyone else surprised that the cowgirl didn't marry her childhood sweetheart in the end?
Moderator: Um, Betty? The sheriff hanged him, remember?
Betty: Oh. Missed that!
Why does it bother me? Because she sucks up all the oxygen and adds nothing.
Why do I think she does this? She's a woman of a certain age (at least 55) who has told me about her days, 30+ years ago, as a beauty pageant contestant and a model. She had some success, and you can tell by her reminiscences that these were happy times. I think she misses having all eyes on her.
What is an endearing quality of Betty's? She reminds everyone to pay our moderator, Will, for these online meetups. He used to charge $5/person, but since we no longer meet in person, he doesn't have to pay venue rental. He's embarrassed to ask for payment and sporadically asks us to give what we can to keep the group afloat. But he works hard to find the films online for free, research them and run the group. PLUS he works trade shows for McCormick Place and clearly, with Covid, he's not working. I think it's nice of Betty to pipe up and spur us to pay up.
OK, I get it. She's a faded beauty queen in an unhappy marriage (she told me that, too) and it gives her some small pleasure to have all eyes on her. Would it kill me to show her some compassion? No. (<<< Hanging my head.)
Monday, February 22, 2021
This happened in Mesa today
It was sunny and 79º and Rizz took the field. This opens my heart. I keep thinking of that line Bruce Springsteen sings, "I'm ready to grow young again." LET'S GO!
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 22
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
22) How do you want to feel today? Do you feel that way? What can you do that would help you feel that way?
I want to feel productive, like I'm making good use of the day and not wasting my time. It's early as I post this, so I don't know if I will get there. But in addition to monitoring my work email to see what my clients want, I've given myself some little chores to do (wash dishes and clean the sink, schedule my annual checkup with the dermatologist) to help keep me on track.
Sunday, February 21, 2021
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 21
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
21) Who is someone you admire? Why?
I admire my new boss, Aaron. He's a very good supervisor -- always listening, always supportive. This not only makes him kind, it makes him smart. If Aaron needed an internal organ, I would get myself tested as a donor. I'm that loyal to him now.
Saturday, February 20, 2021
Sunday Stealing
In the past year have you–
1. Gone without a bra? Not unless I was in my pjs.
2. Skipped making your bed? Haven't made my bed regularly since my mom gave up on trying to make me.
3. Ordered groceries to be delivered? Yes
4. Cooked a real meal? Yes, but not well.
5. Spent the day in pajamas? I actually had covid. I think I spent five weeks in my pajamas.(Anyone who tells you covid is "just the flu" is not your friend.)
6. Skipped shaving your legs? Yes.
7. Spent hours on Instagram or Pinterest? No
8. Eaten in a restaurant? Less than 10 times in the last year. I miss it.
9. Skipped washing your hair? Not more than two days. Even when I was sick, I tried to shower. It reliably makes me feel better.
10. Not folded the laundry? No. I did go weeks without doing laundry when I was sick, but if I do wash my clothes I always fold them right away.
11. Worked a puzzle? No. Though I have two right here. My friend Kathy loves to do puzzles and so she sends them to me. She means well. This reminds me: I must call her. (And when things open up a bit more, I'll take the puzzles to Goodwill so someone else can enjoy them.)
12. Had Zoom calls? I work on Zoom. I worship on Zoom. My movie group meets on Zoom. My friend Joanna prefers Zoom to the phone. So yes, I've had Zoom calls.
13. Written letters? Yeah, but I did that before the pandemic.
14. Binge watched a TV show? Yeah, but I did that before the pandemic, too.
15.Gone barefoot? Yeah, but guess what: I did that before the pandemic, too. I'm just a barefoot, binge-watching letter writer!
February Blog Challenge -- Day 20
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
20) What do you need today (not what do you need to do today)? What is one way you can give yourself some extra self care today?
Friday, February 19, 2021
Saturday 9
Saturday 9: Cry (1952)
2) He also mentions waking from a dream, believing it was real. Has that ever happened to you? No.
3) Because this record was such a massive hit, Johnnie Ray was nicknamed "The Prince of Wails." Without looking it up, do you know who is currently the Prince of Wales? First of all, Prince Charles is Prince of Wales. Second of all, GAWD! This record is awful. I can't get over that it was a hit. But it was #1 for weeks!
4) To cash in on the success of this single, 20th Century Fox cast Johnnie Ray in a big-budget musical, There's No Business Like Show Business. Today it's best remembered as a Marilyn Monroe movie. Have you seen many of Marilyn's films? I think I've seen them all. (Tip: Avoid River of No Return.)
![]() | |
| See her final, unreleased performance |
5) After graduating from high school, Johnnie worked at low-paying jobs, including bus boy and soda jerk. He found he made better tips when he began playing piano in restaurants. Have you ever worked for tips? Back in my long-ago high school days, I got tips on top of what I charged when I was a babysitter.
9) Random question -- Congratulations! You won a free three night/two day weekend for two in Las Vegas! The weather is predicted to be sunny and 65º each day you're there. It's 12:00 noon on your first day. Are we most likely to find you: a) gambling in the casino or b) having breakfast in bed or c) outside, enjoying the sun and the sights? Outside! Definitely outside. First of all, Las Vegas is best place ever for people watching. Secondly, it's been so cold here and I'm so sick of being cooped up!
February Blog Challenge -- Day 19
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
19) What are the most important characteristics in a friend. Do you have those qualities?
On the 14th, I wrote: "I am available to those I love. I'm here. Call me. I will try my best not to let you down."
That's what I want in a friend. That's what I try to give my friends.
Thursday, February 18, 2021
February Blog Challenge -- Day 18
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
18) What are you proud of yourself for today? Why?
I'm struggling with this one, because I'm writing this early Thursday morning and Wednesday wasn't an action-packed day. Nothing really stands out. So I'll go with this, even though it seems like rather weak tea...
I'm proud of my use of the USPS. Yesterday I sent a newspaper article to my oldest friend in California. Yes, I could have sent her the link and she'd get it instantly. But this way she can check out the local Chicago ads on the other side of the article. And she'll see my handwriting. My Cousin Rose and I exchange snail-mail letters all the time, and she has commented on how special it feels to actually see anyone's signature these days.
Last week I mailed a silly "thinking of you" card to Joanna. It really was kinda stupid -- that good friends are like good bras because they're supportive. (Yuk. yuk. Get it?) Still, I wanted to do it because she's been feeling blue. An old friend of hers from her hometown -- someone she's known for years and spoke to monthly -- got sick and died without reaching out to her. His mother called to let her know of his passing. She feels it keenly that she didn't get to say goodbye, and wonders if it's something she did. The card meant a great deal to her. She's mentioned it twice. I'm not sure an email or IM would have the same impact.
So I'm proud of myself for actually affixing stamps to envelopes. It sounds like a little thing, but it's not.
Wednesday, February 17, 2021
WWW.WEDNESDAY
February Blog Challenge -- Day 17
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
17) I'm embarrassed to tell anyone this, but ...
I think I've seen just about every episode of the 90s Saturday morning show Saved by the Bell. I realized this on Super Bowl Sunday, when the E! network ran a marathon. I remember watching it originally from bed when I was hung over after Friday night happy hour(s). Then I watched it a lot in reruns because it was on in the laundromat when I was doing my weekly wash.
I am not proud of the fact that I can't remember where I left my glasses, but I recall how Screech came to win "Miss Bayside High."
Tuesday, February 16, 2021
February Blogging Challenge -- Day 16
Visit Kwizgiver for the prompts
16) What's the first thing you do every day? What's the last thing? How do these things make you feel?
First thing? After I go to the bathroom, I cuddle my cat Reynaldo and carry him into the kitchen for his breakfast. He's always so happy to see me in the morning. Last thing? I read a little or watch some light TV (sitcom reruns) until I fall asleep. These things make me feel safe and secure.

















