Thursday Thirteen #347

  

13 Maddonisms. I love Joe Maddon. The former Cub manager (2015-19) is one of my favorite people on the planet. Since he turns 70 on February 8, I am honoring him with 13 of his more memorable quotes. I don't think they are exclusive to baseball.

1. Don't let the pressure exceed the pleasure. Remember that you should enjoy your life's work.

2. Try not to suck. Stay out of your own way, do the elements of your job well -- in baseball, that's defense, pitching and hitting -- and you'll be fine.

3. If it looks hot, wear it. Dress codes and other superficial trappings shouldn't mask your individuality. Your individuality is one of the unique gifts only you can bring to the team.

4. Respect 90. There's 90 feet between bases. Hustle at all times. Don't take any aspect of your job for granted.

5. You have to be a little crazy to be successful. Another reinforcement of his players' individuality.

6. I never tell fans to temper it. I never tell players to temper it. I'm not into temperance. Passion is good.

7. See it with first time eyes. Don't allow yourself to become jaded.

8. Ignore outcome bias. Don't assume you were wrong because you tried new/different instead of tried/true and it didn't work. You can't know if tried/true would have worked better. So keep trying to come up with new/different.

9. Do simple better. Pare down a task to the basics and then do them well.

10. The process is fearless. Don't focus on the outcome. Focus on the individual plays. If you do everything right, you'll be pleased with outcome.

11. Embrace the target. Get comfortable with the idea of success. Don't let it intimidate you.

12. Don't tell me what you heard. Tell me what you think. No regurgitation. Reach your own conclusions.

13. What you put out there comes back to you. If you put out positive energy, you'll get positive vibes in return.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Happy, timely texts

I admit it: when I'm not actively concentrating or doing something, my mind wanders back to Henry and his current situation. The danger, of course, is that I can miss what's going on in my here and now. And isn't there always something positive going on in the here and now?

It surprises me that joy was delivered via my phone. I've never been one of those people who always has phone in hand.

•  Photos from a former coworker. This story begins before it began. About ten days ago I had lunch with Carla. We used to work together at the ad agency. I ordered a pumpkin martini, which was a beautiful concoction made with vodka, Bailey's Irish Cream and pumpkin liqueur. It was so pretty that Carla wanted a photo of it. When I posed with the drink, I tossed my head back and laughed, as though I was a movie star celebrating an awards win. Me and my pumpkin martini were quite a hit among my Facebook faithful.

Out of the blue I got a text from another former co-worker. I haven't heard from her in more than a year. She said seeing that photo of me looking so happy made her day. She attached pictures of her two kids and let me know what was happening in her career. I was very touched by this. Just seeing me smile made her day. Hearing that, and seeing her two gorgeous and fast-growing kids, made my day.

•  A connection to Jen. She's the assistant manager I work with most often at the card shop. When I first started, she made me crazy, and I suspect the crazy was mutual. She is very Type A. Everything is important, and the stuff she freaks out over is so inconsequential it's hard for me not to laugh. Example: we have a table in the back of the store where customers can experiment with our crafting items. Yesterday's store employees didn't wash the ink off the Valentine stamps! GASP! Jen completely spun out over this. Um ... aren't the stamps created to be inked? And why is this such a tragedy?

Anyway, in order to diffuse the situation and calm her down, I always look for a way to turn the conversation from the mess ... the clutter ... the incompetence back to her. How did she learn to set up a retail display so well? Does she ever bring your kids to the store? Etc., etc. We got to talking about her husband and she complained about what a disorganized mess he can be. I told her I was like him. I am lazy with housekeeping and loathe to throw things away.

Jen finds this fascinating. At the end of my shift we agree on a little project for me at home (first it was throwing away my useless covid-era cloth masks, then it was my sock drawer) and upon completion I text her a photo of a job well done. She always answers instantly and with a ♥. She enjoys rehabilitating this slob. I think it's because I'm more malleable than her husband.

But that's not the point. We spend hours together at the store. It's easier when we like one another. And Jen and I are forming a bond. 

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Murder Stage Left by Robert Goldsborough. A Broadway producer is on the verge of the biggest hit of his career. Yet something backstage is wrong, very wrong. His cast is at one another's throats. Who is causing the friction? What can the producer do to alleviate it before the production blows up, and costs him millions of dollars? He consults genius detective Nero Wolfe to investigate the lives, loves and backstage shenanigans of his cast in hopes of solving the problem before it destroys his play. 

 

Then someone gets dead, and the case takes a sharp turn.

 

Since this is a Nero Wolfe mystery, I am now happily ensconced in the world of Archie Goodwin. Archie is our narrator and the secretary/chauffeur/legman of the famous detective, Nero Wolfe. I've always been a little in love with Archie. He loves baseball and poker and has a weakness for the ladies. He also has a quick mind and a smart mouth. He's wonderful company as he tells us about Wolfe's latest case.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading?  Everyone Here Is Lying by Shari Lapena. Welcome to Stanhope. It's a lovely suburb where everyone has a nice home, a nice car, and a dirty secret. Take that nice Dr. Wooler. He's successful and charismatic, with a beautiful family ... a crumbling marriage and a mistress. 

Behind closed doors, Dr. Wooler and his wife fight all the time, and always about Avery, their 9-year-old daughter. Avery has oppositional defiant disorder. The girl is angry, willful and arrogant and her parents can't agree on how to handle her. When Avery disappears from their home one sunny afternoon, their home and happy facade crumbles.

Where is Avery? Who is she with? Is she safe? 

Stanhope's finest are committed to finding the girl but it's not easy. While everyone in Stanhope is cooperating with the investigation, everyone is lying.

It's a twisty paranoid thriller. Not as good as the other Lapena books I've read, but solid.

3. What will you read next? Speaking of twisty thrillers, next up is a classic in the genre: Laura by Vera Caspary.

 

Sunday Stealing

STOLEN FROM COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL

1. What three words best describe you? Not very tall

2. What makes you unique? The way my mind works. To borrow from Apple, I think different.

3. Who is someone important in your life? Ceecee and Jen, the women I work with most often at the card shop. In the last three months, I have come to feel close to them and involved in their lives.

4. What is something that always makes you laugh? 

5. Who is someone who can always cheer you up? My oldest friend.

6. When was a time you were really proud of yourself? When I wrote that letter to the card shop back in October, explaining to them why they needed to hire me. It felt rather daring at the time and I'm still kinda surprised it worked.

7. What is something that is difficult for you? Accepting that I can't fix people and situations. I dearly want to.

8. What three places would you love to travel to? I'd like to return to Colonial Williamsburg, and Boston, and Key West.

9. What is a fun memory you have with your best friend? Laughing together at stupid shit.  The woman cracks me up.

10. If you could have dessert for breakfast, what would you eat? Strawberry shortcake.

11. If you published a book or wrote a movie, what would it be about? Pets. I adore my cats in particular and have mad respect for dogs and cats in general for how they love us and adapt to living with us.

12. Which is easier, math or English? English

13.What three things make you the happiest? Cats, baseball, the Beatles

14. What is an event in your life that has shaped who you are today? After high school, I got two job offers: receptionist in a dentist office and secretary for Sears, Roebuck and Co. corporate. I took the latter because it was in Sears Tower and I've always been enamored with Chicago's Loop. While I was at Sears, I took the copywriter test and began working on the Sears Catalog, which got me started on my advertising career. I often wonder about the road not taken -- what if I'd taken the job with the dentist?

15. Which is more important, being kind or being honest? Kind.

Pictures worth 1000 words

My dear friend Henry has left the hospital and is now in a nursing home. I don't know where, exactly. I just don't feel up to talking to his husband Reg right now. Especially after what he did this afternoon.

Reg posted current photos of Henry. They are brutal. Half of Henry's head remains shaved. Stitches are still visible. His beard is long and gray. The trach tube is still in his throat. His eyes are unfocused. His head is tilted so far to one side his ear is nearly on his shoulder. There is a tube draining fluid from his other ear.

Henry would hate it if he understood that his vulnerability had been shared with 500+ of Reg's Facebook friends.

But it's clear that Henry would not understand it even if someone were cruel enough to tell him.

Along with the photos, Reg reports that Henry looks at him with contempt and thinks he's alternately Papa and Raymond, Henry's lover who died of AIDS more than 30 years ago. Reg questions how much longer he can remain tied to this "monster."

I hated Reg posting all that because it's ugly. On the other hand, maybe I needed to know it. If Henry cannot recognize/remember his husband, he certainly no longer knows me. This is a reality I must accept.

Henry is gone to me. I get it now.

I miss the rage I used to feel toward Reg.  It was neither kind nor productive, but it was big and identifiable and familiar.

I feel nothing right now. 

I am scared of what I will feel when the numbness wears off and I truly get what this means.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Poor Little Fool (1958)

1) Ricky Nelson sings of a girl with "carefree devil eyes." Are your eyes your best feature? If not, what is? My complexion. In my teens I hated having oily skin. But now that I'm a senior I'm grateful. I'm a little jowly in my old age, but I'm quite unlined.

2) "Poor Little Fool" literally arrived at Ricky's doorstep. A pretty girl knocked on his front door, and played and sang her original composition for him. Who has most recently knocked on your front door (or rung the bell)? My neighbor from the end of the hall. He brought me a package that had been delivered. My neighbors are nice that way.

3) That girl was Sharon Sheeley. A teen model in Los Angeles during the 1950s, she met many of the early rock stars at promotional events. Elvis encouraged her to follow her heart and start writing songs, so she did. Who have you advised recently? Did they take your advice? I have been trying to help my friend Elaine as she introduces a new cat into her household. She's not listening to me one whit. Oh well, maybe I'm full of shit.



4) With the success of "Poor Little Fool," Sharon gave up modeling and concentrated on music. Her songs were recorded by singers such as Richie Valens, Glen Campbell and Johnny Rivers. How many different occupations have you tried? Which was your favorite? I've been an administrative office worker, a writer and now a sales girl. I'm enjoying my job at the card shop more than I thought I would. I was a writer for 40+ years and got great satisfaction from it. I really did not enjoy secretarial work. I was OK at it, but I was bored and I really didn't like my bosses very much.

5) Ricky Nelson was the son of Ozzie and Harriet and brother of David Nelson. They began performing together as a family with their radio program The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. They took the show to television in 1952, where they were referred to as "The Most Famous Family in America." What TV family would you like to hang around with? I'd like to be the oldest Geller daughter (Friends). I wonder if Dad would give me a cool nickname, like how he calls Monica his "Harmonica." Plus I'd have Rachel* and Chandler as my in-laws.

6) While Ricky eventually became the audience favorite, he wasn't initially a likely candidate for stardom. A producer described him as "an odd little kid," shy and small for his age. In those early days, big brother David was more outgoing and considered a natural actor. Thinking back to your preteen years, were you more like David or Rick? I was more like David. I can be introverted but I've never been shy and making friends has always come easily to me.

 7) Ricky never got over his shyness. He often closed his eyes as he sang on camera or before an audience because it helped him battle his nerves and concentrate on the music. Fan magazine oohed and aahed over his beautiful long lashes and young girls fantasized about Ricky closing his eyes before leaning in for a kiss. Who was your big pre-teen crush? Sir Paul McCartney.

8) In 1958, when "Poor Little Fool" was #1, American women were shopping for Italian-inspired footwear. Heels were lower, and the leather was textured and less shiny that the popular patent leather of years gone by. If you were to go shoe shopping today, what would you be looking for? Can I shop for socks instead? They are footwear, after all. I really need to organize and replenish my sock drawer.

9) Random question -- Which of these parties sounds like the most fun: a) one you host yourself; b) one at a friend's home; c) a surprise party in your honor? B! Definitely b. All the fun and none of the work.

 

*Yes, I believe Ross and Rachel eventually married.

3:25, 5:07, 5:46 and 7:38

Those are the times I received "thank you" emails from my friend Kathy. Each time she acknowledges the birthday gift I sent her. It appears that she doesn't recall sending the previous emails, which is disturbing. She is addled. Does she have Alzheimer's? Dementia? I don't know because she refuses to see a doctor. But something is wrong within that head of hers.

But I'm glad I sent her the gift, nonetheless. I scrolled through her Facebook feed -- she is on Facebook all the time -- and downloaded photos from 2023 that featured her with her family. Then I sent the pictures to Snapfish, where they were made into magnets with captions (Mother's Day 2023, 4th of July 2023, etc.). That way she can look at her refrigerator and remember her daughter and grandchildren.

Back in December I restricted her access to my Facebook page. I kinda had to. So much of what she posted was silly, ill-advised or argumentative and it caused me stress. But I can deal with repetitive emails. Email is a more private venue and I can just ignore them. After all, she doesn't remember sending them.

I must remember her world is getting smaller and she's frightened. I also have to remind myself that none of her problems are my responsibility. I can help her in the ways that feel comfortable for me but I'm not obligated to take on more than I can handle.

Yes, every word of the above paragraph parrots what I've been discussing with my shrink. Fake it till you make it and all that. But I do see the wisdom in it and it's becoming more natural.

Thursday Thirteen #346

The 13 most popular video games. Over the holidays I listened to my nephew (24) and nephew-in-law (31) talking about their gaming lives. I felt like a stranger in a strange land, where the denizens spoke an English dialect I didn't quite get. So I did a little research and discovered these are the most popular games in the US (3Q 2023).

I've heard of many of these games, but I've only ever played #4.

1. Super Mario Bros.

2. Sega. 

 

3. Mario Kart 8.

4. Candy Crush. 

5. Super Smash Bros.

6. Marvel's Spider Man.

7. Spider Man.

8. Mortal Kombat.

9. Call of Duty. 

 

10. Grand Theft Auto.

 

11. Grand Theft Auto V. 

 

12. Mario Kart 8.

13. Bejeweled.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Drowning in First World Problems

I haven't been posting much lately, or visiting any of your blogs, either. I have been thwarted by a million irritants. You know the kind I mean. To borrow from John McClane in Die Hard, I am dealing with flies in the ointment, monkeys in the wrenches, pains in my ass. 

Let me start by saying nothing is really wrong. I am fine. The cats are fine. My bills are paid. I'm not afraid when the phone rings that it's bad news. I'm just really annoyed and stressed, drowning in the bullshit that overwhelms each of us every now and again.

1.  The laundry room. Like much of the country, Chicagoland was beset by a multi-day stretch of arctic cold. I do not like this, of course, but I prefer subzero to 90º+ and the thing of it is, we can count on both here every year. Along with the freeze came burst pipes. All over Chicagoland, people were without heat or running water because of burst pipes. We were lucky in that the only pipe in our building that broke was in the laundry room. No one's health or immediate comfort was ever threatened.

However, our washers weren't functional. In fact, they stopped working mid-wash and were filled with water and clothes. Our management company could not get anyone to come out here and work on them for weeks because dirty clothes are not a priority, not compared to people who are shivering in their own homes or can't flush.

Finally the plumber came out. YAY! Oh, not so fast. He fixed the pipe and checked to see the washers weren't damaged. But we still can't use the machines because the fitting that connects the washer to the pipe is cracked and needs to be replaced. It's on backorder because of course it is. It was supposed to be here last week ("Thursday or Friday"). It wasn't.

I haven't done laundry in my building since January 5. This month has seen me at the laundromat -- several blocks away -- twice. Twice I have trudged for 15 minutes over muddy streets with my clothes in a shopping cart to wash them in a depressing, expensive ($3 per load to wash and 25¢ for 10 mins. to dry) laundromat. And then trudged another 15 minutes home, trailing my cart behind me.

When will our washers be up and running again? I don't know. Let's consult a Ouija Board. Do you have a Magic 8 Ball handy?

2.  My teeth. Of course. There's always something going on with my teeth! Now specifically it is two molars in the back. I had gold crowns placed on them back when I was working on the Clinton Campaign. That would be Bill Clinton's 1992 Presidential campaign. So they had a nice run and have served me well. But alas, my gums have receded in the past 30 years and allowed a little decay to take hold below the crowns. Will it be a simple procedure to take care of the cavities and replace the crowns with porcelain? Maybe. Or maybe not. Here's the thing: X-rays don't penetrate gold and the dentist has no idea what the condition of the teeth are under all that precious metal. It could be crown lengthening or worse, extractions and implants. And we won't know until I endure a two-hour (2!!) appointment on the 14th. Let's not even contemplate the expense that could be involved in all this. And a Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. 

3. My laptop. My MacBook Air just crapped out Saturday. It wouldn't power on. I tried to do Apple Chat from my phone but I couldn't. When I bought this laptop back in 2020, I did something really stupid. I connected my Apple ID to my work email address. At that time I was thinking if I couldn't get onto my personal laptop, I could contact Apple through my work laptop. Guess what: when Apple tried to confirm my email at my former employer, the messages kept bouncing back. Am I an idiot or what? So I had to haul my laptop downtown to the Michigan Avenue Apple Store Genius Bar, where they could check my ID and my serial number in person and confirm that I am, indeed, me and that this laptop is, indeed, mine. 

The problem was minimal, having to do with the battery and the charger. It was repaired at no cost to me and I was back on the train, riding home, within an hour. But the stress was mighty. I NEED THIS LAPTOP. It's tax time: I have documents on this computer that I want to print out and give my accountant! My banking is on here, too. Not to mention that Blogger is a bitch from my phone. So I am so very, very glad to be speaking to you from my fully functioning MacBook Air.

But this, too, shall pass. As tension-filled as this has all been, none of it is irreversible or unconquerable. I just have to get through it.

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading?  Everyone Here Is Lying by Shari Lapena. Another paranoid suburban thriller by Shari Lapena, who is very good at this genre. This one is set in Stanhope, a small town with a sterling reputation. Dr. Wooler is having an affair with a hospital volunteer, a beautiful society matron who is willing to slip away with him for sexy interludes in the afternoon. He has come to enjoy, even depend on, these secret assignations more than he ever intended to. The afternoon when he realizes how much he loves The Other Woman, and how impossible their situation is, he is distraught and returns home for a little quiet time to reflect. Instead of an empty house, he unexpectedly finds his 9-year-old daughter -- rebellious, confrontational Avery. She is quite possibly the last person on earth he wants to see at this moment.

Later that day, Dr. Wooler's wife comes home to an empty house and panic stricken, she reports their daughter missing. What the hell? 

 

We know a lot more about Mrs. Wooler's life than she does, but we don't know everything. Yet. That's what keeps me reading. 

2. What did you recently finish reading?  Babe: The Legend Comes to Life by Robert W. Creamer. "Too much baseball." Three words I never thought I'd say. But the Babe played 21 seasons for three teams and came up to bat 8,399 times. I know Creamer didn't catalog each of those at bats here, but it felt like it. The detail in this book is mind numbing at times. 

But the charisma of The Babe endures. What a man! America's first sports celebrity, for more than a decade our most admired citizen. Childlike, childish. Enormously talented. Heedless with his money, his talent, and the people closest to him. But never mean, never vindictive. An astonishingly gifted athlete and an endlessly interesting man. My favorite thing about him: he never refused a kid. Not at any ballpark, on any street corner, in any country in the world (we follow him to Japan, France and England). His generosity was inexhaustible. I'm glad his name lives on.

3. What will you read next? I don't know. 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Joanna (1983)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The subject of this week's song, Joanna, is described as someone who never lets you down and can always be counted upon. Who in your life is like that? Elaine. She is consistent, generous and thoughtful.

2) Kool and the Gang vocalist James "J. T." Taylor sings that he will do his best to do what's right for her. Reflect on the last week. What did you devote special effort to? Connie's diet. My girl cat needs to gain weight so I am switching her from canned food to the more calorie-rich kibble. She's ambivalent about this.

3) This video was filmed at the Colonial Diner in Lyndhurst, NJ. Still open 40 years later, the Colonial is known for their Boom Boom Shrimp, aka fried shrimp in sweet chili sauce. Think of your favorite local restaurant. What menu item would recommend? The creamy clam chowder.

4) Kool and the Gang's biggest hit was 1980's "Celebration," which is popular today with disc jockeys at wedding receptions. Are you likely to get up and dance at a wedding reception? Or would we find you enjoying the party from your seat? I'm a spectator. Probably looking at my watch and wondering how soon I can slip out. I hate weddings.

5) Kool and the Gang are proud of their NJ roots. Group founder Robert Bell was given the nickname "Kool" by his Jersey City friends because he was so "laid back." Do you think your friends would describe you as "laid back?" Not a chance!

6) One of the Jersey City's biggest employers is Evergreen, a transportation and shipping company with offices in Evertrust Plaza, a high-rise near the waterfront. What is the tallest building you've ever been in? Were you there for business, or to enjoy the view? Tall buildings hold no fascination for me. My first full-time job was in Sears Tower (110 stories). Since then I've worked in the AON Building (83 stories), an unnamed tower out by O'Hare (49 stories), Illinois Center (a mere 36 stories). When you work in a skyscraper, it's easy to get frustrated with tourists and looky-lous who meander about, trying to figure out which escalator will take them to which elevator.

7) In 1983, when "Joanna" topped the charts, Vanessa Williams became the first African American to be crowned Miss America. Today, Miss America is still among the most popular televised pageants, along with Miss World and Miss Universe. Do you watch beauty pageants? Not since I was a little girl, which was a long time ago.

8) Also in 1983, superstars Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson joined forces for the #1 song, "Say, Say, Say." Each man began his career as part of a group but went on to have success on his own. Can you think of anyone else who started out in band or group but also scored as a solo artist? For a while this quartet performed as The Hoboken Four. Tension surfaced when the young man on the far right proved to have tremendous stage presence and a unique ability to attract female fans. After Frank Sinatra left the group, The Hoboken Four became the Three Flashes. 

9) Random question: Have you more recently eaten bread sticks or carrot sticks? Hmm ... I can't recall the last time I had either. But since I have recently enjoyed bread in the form of burger buns and dinner rolls, I'll go with bread sticks.

 

Thursday Thirteen #345

13 popular Campbell's soups. It's that time of year when soup really hits the spot. It likely comes as no surprise that Campbell's is America's best-selling brand of soup, and here are the most popular Campbell's soups at my local supermarket. 

Judging by the sales of cream of chicken and cream of mushroom, I suspect many of my neighbors are making casseroles.

1. Condensed Cream of Chicken

2. Condensed Cream of Mushroom

3. Condensed Chicken Noodle

4. Chunky Classic Chicken Noodle

5. Condensed Tomato

6. Chunky New England Clam Chowder (My favorite)

7. Chunky Chicken and Dumplings

8. Chunky Chicken Pot Pie

9. Chunky Old Fashioned Vegetable Beef

10. Chunky Steak and Potato 

11. Chunky Chicken Corn Chowder

12. Chunky Broccoli Cheese

13. Chunky Baked Potato with Cheddar

Which of these make you want to reach for a soup spoon and saltines or oyster crackers?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Henry is awake!

I had prepared myself for my friend's death. He had two separate, complicated surgeries on his brain during the first week in December. Blood clots likely caused by falls on cement and tile were pressing ("smothering") his brain. After the surgery, he was able to blink, but that was it. He could not speak or control his bodily functions. The hospital staff could not tell if he recognized anyone or anything when his eyes were open so he was, effectively, in a coma. He spent his birthday, Christmas and New Year's this way.

Suddenly, last week, he came out of it! When hospital staff asked him* to make a fist, he did. When his husband Reg told Henry he loved him, Henry responded by pursing his lips in a kiss. He has been moved from his bed to a wheelchair, and while he doesn't cooperate he also doesn't resist, which is progress.

He still hasn't spoken and has a trach and feeding tube. He can't dress himself or control his bladder/bowels. But his vitals are so strong that he is scheduled to be released from the hospital in 10 days. 

I don't know his prognosis because Reg is not interested in sharing that. All he posts about is how hard this has been on him emotionally, how much he hates God,† and how difficult it is for him to find a facility to take Henry upon his release.

I could have guessed all of that. I'd like to know if Henry is going to continue to improve, if I can ever hear my friend's voice again. But Reg is drinking and simply unable to put anyone else's concerns ahead of his own. I do not like this, of course, but I get it. Unfortunately, in this marriage, there are two patients: one with severe neurological challenges and one dealing with addiction.

Right now, the important thing is that Henry is NOT going home. Reg is incapable of caring for him. My friend belongs in a facility where professionals will be vigilant. 

And now I have hope. I keep thinking of Emily Dickinson's poem about how hope is the thing with feathers that sings the song without words and never stops.

I had prepared myself for Henry to leave the hospital and go to a crematorium. Instead he is going to a facility for around-the-clock care. I once didn't think this was possible. Now I'm just wondering what God and Henry will come up with next.

 

*In English. This is important. Henry woke up on Thanksgiving unable to speak or comprehend English, only Spanish.

†The angriest of these posts has been removed. I think Reg's mother expressed how much it hurt her.

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

Saturday 9

 
Saturday 9: Young Girl (1968)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The song is about a girl who is too young for romance. How old were you when your parents allowed you to date? 16. Though just because my parents allowed me to date doesn't mean any boys wanted to date me. I did a lot more babysitting than dating that year.

2) Lead singer Gary Puckett mentions the girl's perfume. What scent do you wear most often? I rediscovered Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker. It's both light and lasting.

3) "Young Girl" reached #2 on the charts and stayed there for three weeks, but it never hit #1. It was stuck behind Otis Redding's "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay." Are you competitive by nature? Or would you be satisfied doing well, but not being #1? I like winning, but I'm not terribly competitive. I like to win because I've done well, not because I beat someone.

4) The Union Gap got together in San Diego, California's second most populated city. Have you ever visited California? If yes, where did you go? I've been to San Diego, San Francisco and Los Angeles. I just booked my airfare to LAX for the TCM Film Festival in April. But of those California destinations, my favorite city is San Francisco. I found it unique and quite charming.

5) The Union Gap performed at a White House state dinner for special guests Prince Charles and Princess Anne. Some in attendance that night maintain that President Nixon seemed to be playing matchmaker that night between the Prince and his daughter, Tricia. Have you ever tried to fix people up? If yes, did romance result? I've never played matchmaker.

6) After six Top 20 hits in three years, the Union Gap disbanded. Today Gary Puckett tours as a solo artist on the "oldies circuit" with Peter Noone of the Herman's Hermits. Without looking it up, can you name any of the Herman's Hermits hits? In 16 Magazine parlance, this one is my fave rave.

7) In 1968, when "Young Girl" was a hit, Jacqueline Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. Think about the last wedding you attended. Were you closer to the bride or groom? It was my niece's wedding, so I was closer to the bride.

8) Also in 1968, the most popular movie in theaters was Funny Girl, starring Barbra Streisand. What's the last movie you watched? On Friday afternoon, I just saw American Fiction. A very funny movie.

9) Random question -- Come clean: Right now are there more dishes in your sink or clothes in your hamper? My hamper, most definitely. A pipe burst in our laundry room and while we were able to get it repaired promptly, we're on a waiting list to get the washers fixed. Apparently there are many, many washing machines on the fritz right now, probably tied to the arctic blast and all the attendant frozen pipes.

Thursday Thirteen #344

 13 movies I guess are my favorites. Do you know Letterboxd? It's an online diary where movie lovers can track their viewing. I checked my stats and discovered which movies I have seen most often since I began keeping this diary in 2020. I'm surprised because while I like them all, they aren't necessarily my favorites. Some ended up on the list because I can easily access them from my DVR, or because TCM and the Movies! channel show them often.

Still, there's not a clunker on the list and I'm sure I'll enjoy them all again ... and again.

1. It's a Wonderful Life (1946): Six times. George Bailey sees what life would be like if he hadn't been born. I love this movie very much. Every time I see it, I get something different from it. In 2023, I realized how very imperfect George was. He's jealous, he's frustrated, he has a bad temper. But aren't we all imperfect? I think it's the relatable depiction of his faults that anchors the film and makes it easier for us to accept the supernatural aspects. Also, I still think that moment where Mary and George share the phone receiver at the foot of the stairs is one of the most romantic kisses ever.

2. Casablanca (1942): Five times. A love triangle during WWII. Romance, intrigue, and duty. Good versus evil. A celebration of antifa. Here's looking at you, kid.

3. Holiday (1938): Five times. You're not familiar with this one, are you? It's my all-time favorite from the Golden Age of Hollywood and if you can find it, I recommend you watch. Cary Grant is Johnny, a promising young business who takes a quick pre-Christmas ski holiday and meets a pretty blonde. In snowy Vermont they seem to want all the same things and impulsively get engaged. It's back in Manhattan, in real life, that they learn how incompatible they are. The blonde is an heiress to a massive fortune, and she assumes Johnny will snap at the opportunity to perpetuate it. Johnny, who has just made a little money on a wise business deal, wants to take a holiday for a few years and return to work again when his nest egg is depleted. Then work will feel meaningful. His fiancee and her father are appalled. So were audiences. In 1938, Americans were unemployed and hungry and the idea of turning down a job seemed frivolous and ungrateful. But ever since I first saw this movie in the 1970s, I've loved it. It's romantic and challenging and Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant are so very wonderful.

Here's Johnny explaining his worldview to Linda, his fiancee's sister.

 

4. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969): Five times. This has been called the most entertaining Western ever made, and I agree. It celebrates individuality and friendship. I love the tension William Goldman's script creates between the smart-ass banter and impending doom. Most of all, I love Newman and Redford.

5. The Apartment (1960): Four times. Bud Baxter works at a soul-sucking corporate job, just one of many drones but beloved by his bosses because he has an apartment nearby. These married men use Bud's place for quick assignations. Bud feels he's just playing the corporate game by their rules until he falls in love with Miss Kubelik, who operates the elevator in their skyscraper. Suddenly lending out his apartment seems shabby and ugly. It's a romantic and grown up movie but also very, very funny. Jack Lemmon is wonderful and I think this is Shirley MacLaine's best performance.

6. Jailhouse Rock (1957): Four times. OK, this is not a great movie. But I grade Elvis movies on a curve, and it's one of his best. Certainly his most famous. The best musical numbers he put on film. My classic film nerd friends sniff at Jailhouse Rock, but I love it unapologetically.

7. Pillow Talk (1959): Four times. In the 50s, party lines were common as the need for phones outpaced the Bell Telephone's ability to install service. So often two or more people shared a phone number. Doris Day is an interior decorator with a great apartment and a wonderful wardrobe, but she's stuck sharing a party line with a horny songwriter (Rock Hudson). Through a series of rom-com coincidences, they fall in love. And so do I. They were never funnier than they are here. If Rock Hudson doesn't make you smile at least once, then I question whether you have a sense of humor.

8. Murder on the Orient Express (1974): Four times. An all-star cast brings Hercule Poirot's greatest case to life. I never tire of Albert Finney's portrayal of the Belgium sleuth. He's all in. You won't see a trace of the sexy, irreverent Finney of Tom Jones here. He's a methodical, brilliant, fussy narcissist, the greatest Poirot I've ever seen. Lauren Bacall is as good as she could be, too.

9. Elvis: That's the Way It Is (1970): Four times. Elvis preparing for his Las Vegas engagement. It's a straightforward concert film, but it's The King at his peak and he's hypnotic. You also can't watch and listen without knowing what he doesn't -- that his fall will be swift and he'll be dead before the decade is over. I'm surprised this film made my list. Entertaining as it is, I'd never include it in a list of my favorites. I did have it on as background often at the end of my work-from-home days in advertising. I can't write in silence, and Elvis made good company.

10. King Creole (1958): Four times. Elvis' best acting performance as Danny, a New Orleans kid who can't catch a break. The only thing he has going for him is that he can swing a guitar, and so instead of pursuing his education he begins performing in nightclubs and is seduced by the town's seamier elements. Directed by the same Michael Curtiz who gave us Casablanca, this is not just a good Elvis movie but a good movie. Period. I will die on this hill.

11. Dial M for Murder (1954): Three times. A retired tennis pro discovers his rich wife is cheating on him and figures murder is the best way to be rid of her while keeping her cash. Things go wrong. It's a good (but not great) Hitchcock thriller. Grace Kelly is beautiful as the faithless wife. It's entertaining, but I'm surprised it made my list.

12. A Letter to Three Wives (1949): Three times. It's a small town. Four women are frenemies. One suddenly skips town and leaves behind a letter to the other three explaining that, on the way out, she took one of their husbands. 1940s tech being what it was, the three have to wait until this long day is over to see which husbands return home, and which one doesn't. I love everything about this movie, including the reveal. Knowing the end doesn't ruin the movie, it enhances it on repeat viewings. (Though Bonnie from my movie group, who always gets everything wrong, feels the ending is ambiguous and up for debate. I have no doubt which husband evil Addie set out to steal.)

13. BUtterfield 8 (1960): Three times. A soap opera. A melodrama. Trash. Elizabeth Taylor's first Oscar and her least favorite film (she was literally forced to make it when MGM threatened to sue her). Yeah, whatever. Liz is fanfuckingtastic in this movie. She's not only staggeringly gorgeous -- I mean, her beauty is next level -- she's genuinely talented. The movie begins with Liz waking up alone in a strange bedroom. She wordlessly tries to figure out where she is and how she got there. We watch her get her bearings as she gets dressed and we learn everything we need to know about her by watching her face. A fine performance in an entertaining (but trashy) movie.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.