Compassion Challenge: Day 8

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet.

On Day 8, I needed some Self-Compassion.

My dear friend Henry's husband Reg has been railing on Facebook again. About how miserable his life is. How hard it is to be Henry's sole caregiver. Henry suffered a TBI after a bike accident in 2018 and he is not the man he was before. This year has been particularly difficult. Henry has had two stints in the psychiatric ward because his grip on reality and the here-and-now is slipping away.

 

What Reg doesn't say is that:

 

1) Henry never got the occupational and physical therapy doctors recommended. Reg insisted he could handle it.

2) Henry has never been declared disabled. This would have released funds from Social Security. Funds Henry is entitled to. Reg won't do it. He has the name of an attorney who specializes in this. Reg won't even talk to him.

3) For all his complaints about caregiving, Reg has never received any training whatsoever. He won't join any support groups. He won't speak to a therapist. Even though our mutual friend Patrick has offered to pay for it.

I am offended. Why does Reg insist on putting Henry's personal life online like this? Because he's hooked on the "likes" and on hearing, "Poor, brave you."

I am angry. My darling Henry's life is slipping away, and Reg has engineered this. 

I am frustrated. Reg is Henry's husband. He has the legal right to make all decisions. All I can do is wring my hands and watch.

I am heartbroken. Henry can be so dear. He deserves better than this. 

I am guilty. Reg and Henry were happy once, and I know that many of the misguided decisions Reg made at the beginning were made from love. As keenly as I feel the loss of Henry, Reg's loss is greater. Who am I to be so judgemental?

 

I have to let myself off the hook. These are just my feelings. I have not responded to Reg's Facebook post. I haven't even acknowledged it. 

I am going to spend Christmas with Henry and Reg again this year. When I think of how Henry has deteriorated over the last 12 months, I suspect this will be my last holiday season with my friend. It's possible that by this time next year, Henry won't even know me. 

I hurt. I am mourning. 

If my reaction to Reg's Facebook post was harsh, so be it. I can't control my feelings but my actions have not been unkind. So there's that.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? Murder Is Easy by Agatha Christie. Retired police officer Luke Fitzwilliam misses the train he wanted and ends up on another, finding himself completely by chance sitting next to a pleasant lady who reminds him of his aunt. When she learns that he was once a cop, this chatty old "dear" (as he thinks of her) shares that she is on her way to Scotland Yard to report a serial killer in her quiet little town. He thinks she's a little dotty and imagines how the inspectors at Scotland Yard will politely brush her off.

 

But then events take over and Fitzwilliam begins to suspect she wasn't crazy after all, and there may be something very evil loose in the countryside.

It's Dame Agatha. The chick was so good at this! So of course I'm enjoying Murder Is Easy.

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy. A mommy group, organized online, starts meeting in person. In a park under a tree. They're there to support one another in this new adventure: motherhood. Sounds perfect, doesn't it?

These women all want to be perfect. They want to be the best possible mothers, and they want all the others in the group to think they have perfect babies, perfect marriages, perfect homes, and the perfect balance of family and career. Of course they don't. No woman can. But projecting perfection is important.

So when something goes horribly wrong, and one of the babies is abducted, the illusion of perfection is shattered. 

This book tries to be a lot of things: paranoid thriller, commentary on the media and motherhood, a demonstration of the toxicity of secrets. I applaud the author's ambition, but I think she attempted too much. There are so many mommies in the mommy group that the archetypes distracted from the mystery.

But that's a quibble. This was, in all, a satisfying read and one of the best books I've read this year.

3. What will read next? Time for some non-fiction.

 

Compasion Challenge: Day 7

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet.

I don't know how to classify this one. But I learned a lesson about how easy it is to be nice, and that it matters.

Donna joined our movie group months ago and, since she lives in Philly, has never actually met any of us in person.* Some of us have been in this group for nine years. We take occasional "field trips" to see movies in person and several of us have attended the TCM Classic Film Festival together in Hollywood. This group is how I've made friends with Will, Joanna and Elaine. Being in Philadelphia, Donna can't benefit from in-person bonding. 

So at the beginning of our online Zooms, I give her a shout out. Not every week, frankly, but when it occurs to me. I remember showing off for her by correctly pronouncing Philly locations Bala Cynwyd and Schuykill (I admit that while I pronounce them, I had to look up the spelling just now because they are so not phonetic!). When I saw her wearing a Phillies hoodie at the beginning of the playoffs, I wished her luck and talked to her about former Cub/Phillies star Kyle Schwarber.

Just a quick exchange, seldom more than a minute, over Zoom. After all, the group meets to discuss movies, not to hear me blather on other topics.

Last night, Donna reached out. Wanting to know if I'm going to the Film Festival this year (I am) and would I be willing to meet her for dinner in Hollywood. It's her first time, she's going alone, and she wants tips. She also wants to be Facebook friends. Of course!

Little things mean a lot. I notice when someone is kind to me, so I guess it should be no surprise that my acts of kindness matter to others. Yet it did surprise and please me.

*Before covid, we met once/month and watched movies together on a big screen. Now we're weekly on Zoom. We watch the movies online on our own.

 

Shout out to the lady from New Mexico

I read your comment and I appreciate the invite. I enjoyed your blog and hearing about your life. It's just I'm so frank about people and things here that I don't want my real name attached to it, and sending you an email would include my real name.

I don't want you to think I ignored you or that I don't care. 

I admit I may be too careful (paranoid?). 

It's me, it's not you.

Thanks for understanding.

Compassion Challenge: Day 6

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet.

Today would be Compassion for All, because I don't know exactly who I was extending myself for. It doesn't really matter.

Sunday I walked about a half mile to Dollar Tree. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon -- about 65º and sunny. I wanted to buy their canned pumpkin. It's $1.25/can vs. $2.99 at Target and my cat Connie gets a few spoonsful every day. Anyway, after I paid and was on the way out of the store, I saw a big bin. Mostly empty. The store is collecting toys for underprivileged children at Christmas.

If there's anything I'm a sucker for, it's kids at Christmas. Maybe it's because I worked in advertising for more than 40 years and did my bit to commercialize Christmas. I even wrote toys for the Sears Wish Book (I was the Care Bear lady in the 1980s). 

So instead of leaving the store, I went back to the toy aisle and picked up two things. One was a plush Berenstein Bear (the pink one). The other was a heavy cardboard Frozen movie tie-in book. I purposely went with brands kids would recognize. My second purchase came to less than $3. I suppose it was, quite literally, the least I could do. But I did not know the organization Dollar Tree was collecting for, and I try to be smart with my donation dollars, so I didn't want to invest more.

But that doesn't mean I'm done for the holiday season. Even though it's still unseasonably warm and sunny, Christmas will soon be on us. I will have more opportunities to do good and I shall seize them.

Compassion Challenge: Day 5

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet.

I guess today would be Compassion for Friends & Family, though Aisha and I have never really been friends. In a way, it's also Self-Compassion, because it gives me something productive to do with my anger. Let me explain ...

Aisha is a project manager. She was added to our team at work a year ago, when the agency/client relationship was still good (meaning, before agency management completely fucked it up). Her job was to help keep all of our schedules straight so we could meet our deadlines. She was OK. She certainly tried hard. Every morning she sent out a "hot sheet" listing our daily deliverables and she closed it with a "Today in History" trivia tidbit. I appreciated the latter. Most of us were too self-involved to read the whole "hot sheet," we only checked our portion, and probably didn't even see her "Today in History," but I loved that little bit of extra effort.

Anyway, due to colossal mismanagement on our boss' part, we lost the client and Aisha lost her job. Because she'd been with us just 11 months, she only got one week of severance. While we were comparing our travails with unemployment from the State of Illinois, she casually mentioned that the food stamp application process was easier.

FOOD STAMPS? Upper management screws up and now Aisha has to depend on food stamps? That is so massively unfair. They have no accountability, she has no money. I cannot begin to articulate how mad this makes me.

So I tried to refocus. Instead of thinking of management, I thought of Aisha. I offered to be her reference when she starts interviewing. I left her a recommendation on LinkedIn. I told her to call on me any time.

I also realize, and am grateful, for how lucky I am. I will be receiving severance for 4 months. I qualify for unemployment and then, if I choose, I can collect Social Security. I have a 401(k). I'll be OK, for a while at least. I can afford to relax, concentrate on getting better, and take stock of my future and my options. Aisha doesn't have those advantages. My energy is better spent supporting her, not railing against the management that doesn't have any relevance to my life anymore.

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: New Attitude (1984)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Patti Labelle sings that she feels good from her hat to her shoes. Do you often wear hats or caps? Never. I hate hat hair. When it gets cold, I go with my ear muffs.

 

2) The lyrics tell us that Patti's worries are few. Is anything particular bothering you as you answer these questions? Yes. I'm very concerned about election deniers on the ballot. I remember how incredulous my classmates and I were when discussing Germany and the Nazis. "How could the Germans let that happen?" Now I get it. People are so focused on their daily lives that they don't see the danger right wing extremists present to our personal rights and our democracy. ("But the price of groceries!")

 

3) The video for this song takes place in a high-end boutique. What's the most recent article of new clothing you bought, and where did you buy it? I bought this sweater on Thredup. It's comfy and I like the pastels.

4) In 2019, a street in Philadelphia was renamed "Patti LaBelle Way." At the ceremony, she was referred to as "The Godmother of Soul." Do you have godparents? If yes, tell us about them.  My godfather was my mom's brother, my favorite uncle. My godmother is my dad's sister, my aunt, who is still alive and kicking. She was a freshman in high school and he was a junior when I was christened more than 60 years ago. She recently confessed that she had a mad crush on him. That makes me smile.

 

5) Patti dropped out of high school during her senior year. When she was in her mid-30s, she went to night school and earned her diploma. Do you have any diplomas or certificates framed and displayed in your home or office? Nope.

 

6) Patti was once engaged to Otis Williams, founder of the Motown super group The Temptations. Who is your favorite Motown recording artist? Here's my girl. She's enchanted me ever since I first saw her with The Supremes on The Ed Sullivan Show. I have seen her in concert many times and she never disappoints. My favorite Diana live moment was during my birthday trip to Las Vegas in 2015. She entered by triumphantly striding from the back of the theater to the stage singing this, my favorite of her solo songs. It was like the diva herself was wishing me a happy birthday! 

 

 

 

7) A diabetic herself, Patti has volunteered her time to organizations that fight the disease. Do you know anyone currently dealing with diabetes? Yes. I have two close friends who have it.

 

8) In 1984, when this song was popular, Angela Lansbury premiered in Murder, She Wrote, a show still seen in reruns today. Were you a fan? Nope.

9) Random question: What's your secret to a good night's sleep? Hell if I know. I have tinnitus, so sleep can be complicated for me. Now that I'm no longer setting the alarm clock, I hope that my body will show me what I need sleepwise and I'll be able to comply.

 

 

 

Compassion Challenge: Day 4

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet

Today I indulged in self-compassion. I've had a rough month: kidney stone pain, lithotripsy, lay off, dental work, my niece's gallbladder surgery and the subsequent complications,* back aches, enrolling in Medicare, a snafu with Illinois Unemployment ... I deserve a break. So I gave myself one.

My calendar was completely empty. I stayed in bed past 9:00 AM, watching one of my favorite classics, Holiday. Then I lingered in the shower and listened to some baseball podcasts. I went to the movies and saw George Clooney and Julia Roberts in Ticket to Paradise. Now I'm watching another oldie (I'll Be Seeing You) in advance of Monday's movie group.

I like myself. I'm a good person. I deserve a no-stress, happy day!

*She suffered from a bile duct obstruction and was readmitted. She will be fine, but it upsets me that she was scared and in pain on her birthday.

 

Compassion Challenge: Day 3

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet

Today I focused on Mindfulness. I didn't "lean into it." I showed compassion by leaning back and taking people as they come.

Twice today people were pugnacious with me. Here I was just going along with my life and these separate individuals seemed to want to argue with me. I didn't take the bait.

Instead I considered how vulnerable they must feel to think that my words or actions had anything whatsoever to do with them. How being that unnecessarily defensive must leave a person feeling anxious.

I won't always be this patient. But today I mindfully chose compassion.

Dona Nobis Pacem

I am a peace blogger, inspired by the struggle in Ukraine. I'm keeping it short and sweet this year. The words of our own peace-loving wartime President from 1861 surely reflect the heart of President Zelensky in 2022:

“The struggle of today, is not altogether for today – it is for a vast future also.”

Find other peace bloggers here.

Thursday Thirteen #282

13 ways to get personal. Thanks to two old friends, I have three wedding presents to buy. (One of Mindy's sons just got married and now her second son is engaged.) Anyway, what I've read is that customized gifts are more popular now than ever. I've always enjoyed giving personalized presents, so this trend makes me happy.

If you don't have any bridal celebrations on your horizon, maybe this list can serve as thought-starters as we slide into the holiday season.

1. Champagne flutes with the bride/groom's names

2. A bottle of sparkling wine with their wedding date on the label (perfect for toasting their anniversary)

3. Personalized cork holder. OK, I didn't know this was a thing, but apparently it is. People who are seriously into wine keep the corks and here's an engraved wooden box for them to preserve their vino memories as a couple.

4. Monogrammed wine chiller

5.  Framed song lyrics from the first song they dance to at the reception

6. Address stamp to pretty up the back flap of all those thank you notes

7. Picture frame engraved with their wedding date

8. His-and-her passport covers for the bride and groom honeymooning somewhere beyond the 50 states

9. Monogrammed luggage tags

10. "Our First Christmas" ornament for the tree

11. Mr. and Mrs. floor mat

12. Monogrammed cashmere throw

13. Personalized mugs for morning coffee

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Compassion Challenge: Day 2 (Revised)

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet

Today I focused on Friends and Family. Rita was a junior writer at my last agency. She was let go the same day I was, but, fortunately, already had a new job lined up!* It's with a smaller agency, but considering how the vaunted big agency C-Suite messed up, this isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Anyway, this is Rita's first week on the job and she seemed a little embarrassed to be working on the weekly ads for a regional grocery store chain. Like somehow it's a step back from the web banners and event marketing she had done when we worked together.

I pointed out to her that 1) shoppers will be looking for and reading her ads, as opposed to the intrusive web banners we did, that likely were only clicked on 5% of the time† and 2) our client never asked for or paid for those event marketing initiatives. The event marketing may have seemed exciting to her at the time, but they helped get us all tossed to the curb. 

I told her she's contributing. She's helping busy, time-stressed working moms (like herself) plan their shopping trips. She's helping her client move product. Getting the word out about saving $1 on Quaker Oats may not seem glam, but it's actually more relevant to her audience than anything she did at our high-end agency.

I think she heard me. I hope so. I understand her frustration, but I know I'm right about this. Plus, it's only her first week! Her new agency does signage for grocery store brands and fast food restaurants you know. She'll get higher-profile assignments once she proves herself.

There's a baseball phrase managers tell pitchers: Trust your stuff. That's why I told her. "You're there for a reason. Do your best. Trust your stuff. Appreciate the value in what you're doing."

*Bitch all you want about inflation, but the job market is still solid. Does that mean we are or aren't on the verge of Recession? I don't know ...

†Think about it. How often do you actually click on those banners?

Compassion Challenge: 2022: Day 1

We did this as a congregation in 2021 and I'm doing it myself this year. My life feels different now than it did 365 days ago, and I hope this will keep me grounded and help me live my faith.

Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet

Today I focused on Mindfulness. I went to the hospital for a followup with the urologist who performed my lithotripsy. I'd never been in his office before. He took my case when I was in the ER, and then he performed the procedure in the main hospital. 

Finding his office took forever. I literally walked through three different buildings in the hospital campus, and then, when I finally found the right third floor, the suites were not numbered sequentially.

Now I am notoriously navigation challenged, but the problem here was not me. I spent the last leg of my journey with a man who was having the same trouble en route to the same office. The signage at the hospital is woefully inadequate. Those repeated reminder texts only said the suite number, not which building.

Oh, I was frustrated. But I was mindful. No one that I spoke to en route to the doctor's office was at fault. The working women stationed at the information desks didn't post the signage or devise the office numbering system. So I consciously chose not to take my frustration out on them.

By the way, being mindful gave me the emotional space to be grateful that the urologist thinks I'm doing just fine.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy. A group of pregnant women, all due in May, initially meet through an online support group called The May Mothers. The begin getting together in person in the park, eventually bringing their babies. Come summer, they decide they deserve a night out, sans infants. It goes badly. In fact, it couldn't go worse. When they're out partying, one of their babies is kidnapped.

 

The author is creating a tingly sense of paranoia here. Each of The May Mothers wants the others to think her life is perfect, but each one has a secret. As the authorities and media focus on the missing baby, their personal lives are about to be exposed.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death by MC Beaton. A successful London PR exec retires to a sleepy village, and it doesn't start out well. She's bored and simply doesn't know how to behave in a bucolic setting. She decides to remedy this by entering the local baking competition. Now Agatha does not lose, and to make sure she won't, she enters a professionally-baked, store-bought quiche. She's disgusted when she still doesn't win, presumably because the contest was rigged. Things get even more complicated when the judge dies and an amateur sleuth is born ... out of a mix of pique and boredom. 

Agatha is a funny heroine for a cozy mystery series because there is nothing cozy about her. She's really very prickly, grumpy, and more than a little entitled. But she's also smart and, as the story unfolds, a well-concealed sweetness begins to emerge. I like her, and I think I'll like this series.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

 

Thank God for Jimmy

 Elon Musk's takeover of Twitter happened to coincide with the attack on Paul Pelosi, husband of House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi. Trust me when I tell you, this is not a good thing.

Angry Right Wing Nut Jobs and conspiracy-crazed MAGAs did not show us their best, self-proclaimed Christian sides. Take, for example, Donald Trump Jr. He never once wished the Speaker's husband a speedy recovery. He did, however, post this.

 

Now I suppose it's not a newsflash that the Trump family is a few quarts low of compassion. As Donald Jr.'s cousin Mary once wrote of her family, "The cruelty is the point." They seem to confuse brutality with strength. What does horrify me is that nothing distracts Trump supporters from holding their Bibles in one hand clicking ♥ with the other. Tweets like Trump Jr.'s and the affirmation he receives make me want to dismiss online Trump supporters as soulless pigs (but then I wonder, is that fair to pigs?).

Which brings me to Jimmy. Dear Jimmy. I have never met Jimmy, but we were brought together by my top reason for visiting Twitter: up-to-date baseball news. A New York-based Yankee fan, Jimmy is passionate and opinionated. He's also well informed, literate and polite. We've been trading tweets about Joe Maddon and his new book.

Jimmy would very much like the former Cubs manager to take over the Yankees next year. I don't think that will happen and I explained why: Joe (whom I adore) is a very independent, free thinker and it doesn't look like the Yankees GM wants anyone he can't push around. Jimmy insists an independent, free thinker is what the Yankees need. I think Jimmy is 100% right. I just don't think it will happen.

Anyway, I posted this picture for him. That's Joe Maddon managing the Cubs at Wrigley Field, standing beside my favorite-most ballplayer and Top 10 human, Anthony Rizzo who is, at least for now, a Yankee.

"I do dream of seeing these two back together," I captioned.

Jimmy loved, loved, loved it! We tweeted back and forth more about Joe's new book, which I've read but Jimmy hasn't received yet. That's when I saw his profile.

Life-long #Yankees fan; Conservative Republican, GOP; Traditional Roman Catholic, #Pro-Life Supporter,  President Trump #MAGA 

 

My heart sank. So Jimmy supports Trumpy casual cruelty and spreads baseless, homophobic conspiracy theories about a crime victim?

No, he does not. The majority of his tweets since the weekend have been, well, to me. He's also posted about his new cellphone and a quote from Pope John Paul II. His only political tweet hoped that Trump will return to Twitter, now that Elon Musk is at the helm.

 

Jimmy has restored my faith in "the other side." No gleeful ugliness about the Paul Pelosi attack. No Q-inspired nonsense about the accused attacker being "Epstein'd" in jail.  

I would like to ask him how he squares the circle -- how the Trump family graft, greed and ugly, violence-tinged rhetoric fit with the quote he retweeted about how "holiness lies in the effort to incarnate the Gospel in everyday life." But I won't. 

Jimmy is not a performing chimp. He owes me no more explanation for his Christian faith than I owe him one for mine. 

It's enough that I know that the 41% of Americans who still view Donald Trump favorably are not ALL WWG1WGA, tin foil hat wearing, conspiracy spouting, and filled with hate.

Sunday Stealing

THE RETURN OF BEV

1. What did you do today? It's still early, so not a lot. I did compose the blog post below.

2. 5 things about where you live. My neighborhood is (1) highly walkable, (2) with lots of trees, which is pretty this time of year. (3) We're a pretty literate community, with three libraries within 2 miles. (4) We also really like pizza. I have three options within walking distance. My choices are vast if I'm choose delivery. (5) Has inadequate parking. I don't drive so I don't really care, except I get tired of hearing my fellow citizens bitch about it all the time.

3. What are the must-sees sights around you? Now that I will soon have more time on my hands, I'm thinking of revisiting The Art Institute of Chicago someday soon. It's been years and years since I've wandered the galleries. We're so lucky to have many of museums around here. You can find a list here.

Read about The Art Institute

4. What’s your favorite restaurant meal? I haven't had it in a while, but I'd like a ribeye steak, a baked potato, and lots of Coke.

5. What was the last thing you cooked or ate? I had chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes for dinner. (I'm on a potato binge.)

6. What is something you learned from your grandparents. From my dad's mom, I learned involvement. She was a member of her church council, involved with Girl Scouts and an election judge for decades. (Which is why Donald Trump's unwarranted and ugly attacks on Georgia's Ruby Freeman upset me so much. I imagined him doing that to my own grandma.) She got tremendous satisfaction from her volunteer work and was, for the most part, a very happy woman. My mom's mom was the polar opposite. From her I learned to just chill. She was a brittle, high-strung woman who gave me an example of how not to be. As I get older, I feel greater compassion for her, but she is still no one I'd emulate.

7. What’s the weather like as you are writing your postcard? Sunny, clear and a little warmer than usual for the time of year.

8. Share an interesting fact that you’ve learned, and which most people are not aware of. John F. Kennedy was a voracious reader, enjoyed an early career as a journalist and author (publishing two books and winning a Pulitzer), yet simply could not learn foreign languages. His comprehension and pronunciation were ... well ... awful For someone who loved words, this was very frustrating. One thing he found fascinating about his wife was Jackie's fluency in French and Spanish (she also recorded radio ads for him in Italian and German).

Jackie delivers a speech in Spanish to Cuban immigrants, Orange Bowl, 1962

9. Are there any local events or festivals in your area? Tons. Literally too many to list.

10. What was the last concert you attended? I truly don't recall.

11. What is your favorite charitable organization? So many! Right now, I'll plug The Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation. Started by my favorite ball player, this organization provides support to families battling pediatric cancer -- providing meal vouchers, gas cards and parking to parents visiting their children in the hospital. Rent and mortgage relief is available to those who have to take off work. Toys are sent to children who have to spend their birthday or Christmas in the hospital. Therapy dogs are trained to comfort the kids. Anthony Rizzo has taught me a great deal about the unreimbursed financial challenges these families face, and I'm grateful to him for that.

Learn more here

And so it begins

Friday was my first day of officially doing nothing. Not working, not looking for work. So how did I spend it? On the phone, online, following up and making appointments.  

I have confused the State of Illinois. Since I was laid off, I qualify for unemployment. I've been working full time -- and paying into the system! -- since I was 17 and I am soooo collecting every cent I have coming to me. 

The only time I collected unemployment before was in 2002. Literally more than 20 years ago. In those days, you had to apply in person (not fun) and you left with a little piece of cardboard. Folded in half. The cover was a picture of Abraham Lincoln superimposed over an outline of the State of Illinois. Inside, a man had written my name and number with a ballpoint pen. There were blanks where I wrote who I contacted for work. On the back were phone numbers I was to call to check in and get my check (in those days we received paper checks in the mail).

I remember the card well because I carried it in my wallet while I was job hunting. Years later, I threw it away. It seemed so low tech and ephemeral. 

BIG MISTAKE!

I tried to register for unemployment online and kept getting dead ended. So I called the phone number on the screen and got a lovely civil servant (I mean it; she was very pleasant) named Belinda. She explained to me that "the system" shows a person with my same name, address and email has already registered with the Illinois Department of Employment Services. Yes! That's me! Let's get me my paychecks!

Not so fast. I need my "claimant number." That number handwritten in ballpoint on the flimsy piece of cardboard that I no longer have. Belinda explained that, to help prevent fraud, she cannot access that number. Nor can she issue me a new one.

Now what?

I have to show up, in person, and present evidence that I am, indeed me an that I live in Illinois. That's my Social Security card, my State ID and a utility or cellphone bill. Because of first covid and then the low unemployment rate, there aren't many locations or times available. I'm scheduled for Wednesday, November 9 at 1:30.

I am lucky. I have severance. I have savings. I qualify for Social Security. But I worry about those who do not have these resources. I get it: scammers collecting someone else's benefits is a problem. I'm not complaining. I'm just sad about the situation. (And I wish I'd understood long ago that my "claimant number" is part of my permanent record!)

I did kinda sorta look for work. My oldest friend made a little extra money working from home for an online transcription service. I registered with the service she worked for and investigated another. Hopefully by the first of year I'll be up-and-running, making a few bucks an hour, a couple hours a day. I'd like to forestall collecting Social Security as long as possible. I don't feel like working full-time anymore, but I don't believe I can afford to do nothing, and this is something I can do, at least until I'm strong and healthy. Which leads me to ...

I made doctor's appointments! Dentist and oral surgeon. Follow up with the urologist and two sessions with the chiropractor. MRI of my pancreas and my annual mammogram. My November is going to be busy!

Happy Birthday, Dear Kwizgiver!

 

To celebrate of one of the blogosphere's favorite educators, here's a birthday cake made of school supplies.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Haunted (2013)

Unfamiliar with this week's featured song? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, Beyonce sings that she's sure if a man is haunting her thoughts, she must be haunting his. Who is on your mind this morning? My niece. She had her gallbladder removed last week and is recovering at her in laws' house. Her 30th birthday is next week, and I really want her to be feeling well enough to truly enjoy it.

2) The lyrics mention her "wicked tongue." Have you said anything recently that you wish you could take back? Not recently. But I can be an ass at times. I have been known to blurt first and regret later.

3) Beyonce says her lucky number is 4. Her birthday is 9/4, her mom's birthday is 1/4 and her husband's birthday is 12/4. She chose 4/4 for her wedding day. Do you have a lucky number? Seven

 
4) Beyonce told an interviewer  that, while on the road, she loves to eat Popeye's fried chicken and the fast-food chain offered her free food for life. She admits she's been too embarrassed to take them up on it. If you could get free food for life from any restaurant, which restaurant would you choose? I just discovered a little French sandwich shop. I'd like to have free lunch for life there.

5) Candy corn is a trick-or-treat staple. Do you like it? Nope.

6) In 2019, the most popular pet costume was a pumpkin outfit designed for dogs. Have you ever dressed your pet in a costume? Nope.

7) According to the Guinness Book of Records, the award for highest number of jack-o-lanterns in one place went to Keene, NH, where in 2013 there were 30,581. How many carved pumpkins will be at your home on Halloween? None.

 

8) In years gone by, the Irish celebrated Halloween not with pumpkins but by carving turnips, potatoes and beets. Are any of those foods in your kitchen right now? I have several cans of 100% pure canned pumpkin in the cabinet right now. I mix it with my cat Connie's food. It helps keep her regular. (Check with your vet before you add it to your dog's or cat's diet.) There's some mashed potatoes in the refrigerator, too.
 

9) Some Elvis fans believe they have seen his ghost hovering in the trees over Graceland. Have you ever seen a ghost? Nope.

 

 

 

Further evidence

Batman is the best TV show ever.