Friday, September 03, 2021

I hate giving up on people

... but alas, Warren gives me no choice.

Warren is a former coworker of mine. 53 years old. When we worked together, he was in our mail room. He moved to a competitive agency in February 2020. There he handles catering for client meetings, making sure the conference rooms are set up properly and that everyone has the office supplies they need. But here's the thing: once March and covid arrived, everyone worked from home and there were no big meetings in the conference room, and everyone was in charge of his or her own supplies. His new employer has kept him on anyway, at 75% of salary. It's been like that for 17 months now. 

Warren recently moved to a trendy Chicago neighborhood with a lot of bars and a lot of young people. He spends a lot of time partying with twentysomethings he has nothing in common with. He says this leaves him lonely.

He was sure he had neuralgia, until the doctor assured him he doesn't. He insists he had long-term "inflammation" and "nerve damage" from the Pfizer vaccine. He says he can't be alone because it stirs his anxiety.

Warren also insists that he knows the way he's living would not have pleased his mother, a devout Jehovah's Witness. This makes him sad. He has tried to fill the spiritual void in his life by watching and listening to Joel Osteen. But now he believes Osteen is too greedy to be a reliable messenger.

He went to the Kingdom Hall not far from where he lives and was told by an elder that he is "not ready to serve God." I was shocked by this. I don't know a thing about Jehovah's Witnesses, but I can't imagine a minster of any kind discouraging a parishoner that way.

But now I get it. Warren is not ready to serve God or make any constructive changes to his life. I have recommended to him -- time and again -- that he should volunteer at a charity. After all, he now only works on site 2 days/week, so he has time. If he wants to hang around with like-minded people, instead of partiers young enough to he his kids, he'll meet them there. If he wants to serve God, helping his community is a great way to start. I mentioned to him that he has many organizational and people skills, and it would be lovely if he could put them to use for his neighbors.

"I hear you, Gal, but I don't have time. I may be back at the office full-time."

I sent him the link to local food pantry that needs volunteers. He could walk to it. They need help organizing and manning the donation tables at upcoming local events, like Oktoberfests. This is exactly what Warren is good at!

"It just doesn't fit my plan right now."

This he has time for
You know what does fit his plan? Partying at Sluggers. I cannot tell you what a fucking zoo that place is. Tonight he's posting pictures of himself with his favorite (30something and blonde) bartender with captions about how young he believes he looks in the photos and how happy she was with the $50 tip he gave her. (He can't afford a $50 tip; he's only getting 75% of his paycheck.)

He also wants to start an official Facebook fan page for a former soap opera star. He is hoping for a zoom with this "celebrity" after Labor Day.

This is all just sad.

I wish Warren understood that doing for his neighbors would help him feel more grounded. That living his faith would bring him closer to God. But I can't make him understand.

I am sure something bad is going to happen to him. I feel helpless watching.

But I'm letting Warren go.  

Not all victims of Covid have the virus. 

I want to cry.

6 comments:

  1. Warren does sound lost right now. At least he knows how he was raised. Sometimes people come back to the values they were raised with as they age. I understand why your are stepping away from Warren. Sometimes we have to do that for our own good. I hope you have a positive weekend.

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  2. Some folks just can't get out of their own way. I've had to step away from people like Warren. I truly hope and pray that he finds his way back to you.

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  3. You have to protect your own peace of mind and setting boundaries or letting people go is what is called for at times. Plus, if I've learned anything at all in this life, it's that you can't make anyone change no matter what you do or how hard you try. You can't yell enough, cry enough, love them enough, plead enough, or anything enough. They have to WANT to change and the change has to begin within.

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  4. Joel Osteen?? Shudder. I'm wondering how many thousands of dollars he makes every week. We always watch the start of his show for the joke, but then turn it off.

    The story of Warren is very sad.

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  5. Warren's behavior is sad.

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  6. This is sad, but you can't save everyone. I wish we could.

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