Doing the best they can

I have been surrounded by people with challenges this weekend. It's been exhausting, but it's also reminded me of my own humanity and the need for patience.

Henry. He is suffering from TBI after an accident last October. Sometimes he's fine, often he's not. He has no filter, and he can be paranoid. As hard as it is for me, it's harder for his coworkers. He works hard, but he can be difficult. Their complaints have made their way to the head of HR for the county. Henry called me Friday night, in tears, and we talked for more than two hours. Henry insists that everyone -- including me -- wants him to shut up, to deny who he is. He says he's a victim of white privilege and this is happening because he's gay, because he's dark skinned. That he's just like Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and the county is like Trump.

This is drivel. I could tell by what he was telling me that the county is trying very hard to keep him. Maybe they are compassionate. Maybe they worry about the messiness of canning someone who is disabled. But they do want to keep him. The head of HR gave Henry his cell phone number and said, "Call me. Anytime."

"So call him," I said. "Instead of arguing with your coworkers, go straight to the head of HR. He wants to help."

"No! He wants to shut me up. You want to shut me up!"

Hours of tears. Hours of yelling. I felt depleted. I felt helpless. And, worst of all, I was resentful. I am not proud of that.

Mary. She's the head of the library volunteers. The only time I ever see her is when I work the annual library book sale. Yet she remembered me when I walked in. At 76, she's still sharp.

She's also officious. Persnickety. She takes her role as Queen of the Volunteers entirely too seriously.

Instead of grabbing her by the throat, I stopped to think. This is her job. This is her power base. She gets a lot of her identity from her role on the board of Friends of the Library, and this book sale is their #1 event of the year. THIS is her moment.

It wouldn't kill me to tamp down on the side eye for a few hours, would it?

Sunday Stealing

THE BOOK OF QUESTIONS

1. Do you think the world will be a better or worse place 100 years from now? Different. I'm not the one to judge better or worse. Of course, I hope for the better.

2.  Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave the country and never set foot in it again. No. Now if you were to make it $10,000,000 I might consider it. That makes me sad to say, because I love my country (and baseball). But today I live in a country where our President calls for duly elected Representatives to "go back where they came from." And I could retire to Toronto and have democracy, less hate, and baseball.

3. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Mind

4. What would constitute a “perfect” evening for you? Pizza and beer on a clear summer night at Wrigley Field. After a win, I'd like to wander through Wrigleyville and enjoy the victory vibe.

My happy place

5. Whom do you admire most?  In what way does that person inspire you? Right now, it's the Cubs' Anthony Rizzo. Let's look at his last few days and see why.

THURSDAY: Day off. Hosts baseball camp for kids where they learn the fundamentals of the game. At the end of the day, he has them pack non-perishables into lunch boxes for local food pantries.
FRIDAY: Hits a Grand Slam home run, even though it's 107º on the field. Then he dedicates the home run to a little boy who requested "a moon shot" to help raise money for a cancer cure.
SATURDAY: Hits in two more runs.

So proud he's ours.

6. Do you prefer being around men or women?  Do your closest friends tend to be men or women? Two of my closest friends are men. I've always gotten along with both men and women. I don't really think about my friends in terms of gender.

7. If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you chose, would you? No.

8. What is your most treasured memory? Just one? This morning, the one that pops into my head is playing miniature golf with my daddy.

9. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?  Is there anything you hope to do that is even better?  (Let’s exclude raising children, if you have them) I have given safe, loving homes to cats that other people discarded. I am good at that. I am proud of that.

10. If you went to a dinner party and were offered a dish you had never tried, would you want to taste it, even if it sounded strange and not very appealing? Sure. Unless it was spicy. My gut can't take spicy foods.

11. Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you? About half and half.

12. How do you feel when people sing Happy Birthday to you in a restaurant? Fucking mortified. Does anyone like it?

13. When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate or embellish it?  If so, why? Often? No. Sometimes? Sure. Because I want to be entertaining.

14. If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it?  Can you be allowed to be on time? I don't know which bugs me more -- friends who are never on time or friends who sit on their phones when we're together. But yes, because I love them, I allow for it.

15. If you could have free, unlimited service for five years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, or personal secretary, which would you choose? A driver. 

Saturday 9

Secret Agent Man (1966)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.

1) This is the theme of a TV show that ran on CBS from 1964-1967. The series was produced, and originally aired, in England. The BBC has shared many shows with American audiences over the years. Can you name another? Downton Abbey! I cannot wait for the movie to come out.

 

2) The show is about John Drake, a special agent dedicated to exposing plots that threaten world peace. A quick check of Netflix and Goodreads reveals that spy stories are just as popular today. Is espionage a genre you enjoy? Do you read books, or watch shows and movies, about spies?
Not really.

3) The lyrics tell us Drake travels from the Riviera to Bombay. Where were you when you last spent the night away from home? Why were you there (vacation, business, international intrigue)? Hollywood. I was there for the TCM Classic Film Festival.

4) The refrain states, "They've given you a number and taken away your name." In today's digital world, that could now be said of all of us. Are you good at remembering your computer passwords? This is a constant vexation for me. I just have too many passwords to keep straight. Last week I got an alert that said my email account information had been found on the dark web and I should change my password. Instead of being grateful that I found out about it before I hacked, my first response was, "Oh, God! Now I have to come up with yet another 'memorable' password!"

5) Patrick McGoohan, who played Agent Drake, went from being a good guy to appearing as a murderer on Columbo four times. Were you a fan of Columbo? Not when it first aired, but I discovered it on MeTV and was hooked. I don't watch ones I've already seen, though. Once I know whodunnit, I'm done.

6) Born John Ramistella, this week's featured artist, Johnny Rivers, grew up in Louisiana. He took "Rivers" as his stage name because he grew up along the Mighty Mississippi. If you were to change your last name based on the geography of the area where you grew up, how would you be known? I'd be Lily Flatlands.
 
7) In 1966, when this song was popular, Jacqueline Kennedy was the woman most Americans admired. What famous woman do you admire most? (She doesn't have to be American.) Ruth Bader Ginsburg
 
8) 1966 also found another Jacqueline was in the news. Jacqueline Susann's first novel, Valley of the Dolls, was atop the best seller lists, even though it was savaged by the critics. What's your guilty pleasure? What book, movie, TV show, or song do you enjoy, even though you know it has little artistic merit? VOTD is a good choice. I love every wretched, overacted, over-costumed moment.

 

BTW, last week someone got upset by the question about wigs. She should avoid Valley of the Dolls. Every woman wears glorious wigs and extensions by the pound.

9) Random question: Imagine you've been stranded alone in the woods for 10 days. No companionship, no internet or phone or TV. You have been sleeping in the dirt, living on berries and river water. Your rescuers drive you to a hotel. Upon check-in, what's the first thing you do? I'd be drinking the Coke I grabbed from the mini-bar while on my way to the tub for a nice, cleansing bath.

I find this touching

 
This is the table that was at the foot of President Kennedy's bed in The White House, September 1963. The man was a voracious reader. Of everything he could lay his hands on. He lived in a paper-based world, so I can only imagine how he would enjoy the internet. I imagine he would glory in having the world literally at his fingertips.

I am positive he would not tweet.

Many of the books are scholarly tomes, including some about Ireland. He'd just been there on a historic state visit, with a stop at his ancestral home, and apparently he simply wasn't done learning about The Emerald Isle. However, I can't help but notice the 35¢ paperback:  Dig That Crazy Grave. "Man, she had a shape to make corpses kick open caskets -- and she was dead set on giving me rigor mortis." It's still in print. Clearly he, like me, indulged in guilty pleasures. If my TBR wasn't so dauntingly high, I would read it. Just to feel closer to him.

Listen to that clunk

When Anthony Rizzo really connects, it's the most beautiful sound. Today, he got a GRAND SLAM home run in 107º heat.



Yesterday -- his off day -- he hosted his annual baseball camp. Hundreds of grade school kids learned about the game from professional coaches, doing drills, taking batting practice, etc. They pose for pictures with Rizz and he signs their bats and balls.

Oh yeah, and he had those kids box canned goods for local food pantries.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why when I rank my favorite 2019 Cubs, he has spaces 1 through 5.

Now I'm happy

The library book sale needs sorters! I am an experienced sorter and this is a cause I wholeheartedly support. In fact, this sale is right up there with Christmas as a day I look forward to. So you can count on finding me Sunday in the high school cafeteria, breaking down boxes and sorting the donations that have probably already piled up.

It's ugly and it hurts.

I have a big zit on the right side of my chin.* It's red. It's disgusting. It's painful.

Is the extra moisturizer I've been slathering on post-sunburn clogging my pores? Am I stressed? After all, the two places where stress manifests itself on me are my chin and my gut.

And I do have reasons to be stressed. I just finished a six-page brochure about annuities -- how ironic is it that I am paid to give others advice on their finances? -- and I'm presenting it internally Monday afternoon. It represented a great deal of work. BUT my boss hasn't approved it yet. Hasn't even seen it yet. Won't see it until Monday morning. He moved last weekend, and was supposed to be in the office on Wednesday, but called in. The move did not go as expected and he's taking two more days. So he will give me feedback on this long, complex piece of work and I'll have to incorporate it in a matter of hours.

Then there's the deconversion drama. It just keeps grinding along. The other board member is being completely incommunicado again. So even though I'm supposed to update the other unit owners, I don't know what's going on. 24 households will feel the impact of deconversion. This weighs heavily on me.

Oh, and it's HOT. I do not do heat. I'd rather have -23º than 100º, and that's how high the mercury can rise over the next two days. I'm comforting myself by wearing my Cubs "Made for October" shirt. I'll dream of cooler days while my guys are in the heat of the world championship.


*And smaller ones on the left side and underside. Righty just kind of overpowers them.

Sunday Stealing

SAD SLEEPY SURVEY

Have you ever been teased because of the things you like? Oh, of course. Hasn't everyone?

Do you hold grudges? Yes. If grudge carrying was an Olympic event, I'd bring home (at least) the bronze.

Were there any classes you enjoyed because of the teacher? Not really. I had a wonderful English teacher in high school, but he encouraged me in being more involved in something I was already drawn to. I'm not diminishing his contribution -- I appreciated it at the time and remember it fondly -- I'm just answering the question as it was asked.

Was there a dress code at your school? Grade school, yes. High school, no. Though I did wear just about the same thing every day -- white t-shirt, jeans, tennies.

Have you ever been a bad friend? Yes. I'm sure I've fallen short at times. But I do work very hard at the friendship thing.

Has a friend ever replaced you with somebody else? I think my friend Barb has. She moved to Hilton Head and I really don't hear from her much anymore. These things happen.

Have you ever disliked something just because it was popular? No. I have met pretentious people who do that -- my friend Joanna's recent beau being one of them -- but that's silly.

Have you ever watched a movie just because it starred an actor you liked? I think that's a great reason to choose a movie!

Are there actors/musicians you have met?

Do you ever judge people based on the music they listen to? I don't base my complete assessment on music. But yes, I suppose I do.

What about your top five music albums? This is hard! But these are the ones that come to mind.

1) Beatles White Album
2) Born in the USA
3) Barbra Streisand's Second Album
4) Dusty Springfield's Greatest Hits
5) The Boss by Diana Ross





Do you remember the first album you ever owned?

Do you still use an mp3 player, or just your phone? We were just talking about this yesterday! Yes, I still use my iPod.

Do you like Elton John? More than I used to. He's grown on me. :)

Have any celebrity deaths hit you hard? Which one(s)? John Lennon's murder felt like a blow to my solar plexus.

   

A good day from morning till night

I was a little melancholy Saturday because it was the day I was supposed to celebrate my friend John's birthday at Wrigley Field. But he's been too ill. Fortunately, my nephew was a terrific seat filler. When he was a little boy, we used to read the Sunday Sun Times together, checking out the Cub news and standings. I had no idea that he was going to become a super fan with a passion for Sabermetrics.

It was a terrific game. A seven run first inning, and our ace, Jon Lester, helped his own cause with a home run. Really, we saw a virtuoso performance from Lester. This is a nice recap of the action on the field.

It was too hot (90º) and humid at the ballpark. For some stupid reason, I neglected to apply and reapply the sunscreen that I had in purse. Oh well. I'll try to consider my Lucy Riccardo-level sunburn just another souvenir of the day.

After the game, we tried to get into Manager Joe Maddon's new restaurant, but it was just too crowded. Good for Joe!  There have been rumors that he's in trouble with management. Good to see that he's still loved by the fans. (We're in first place, people! Be happy!)

After the game, we wandered around Wrigleyville a bit and ended up at a pizza/wing joint. My nephew cannot eat enough pizza! We talked for hours, catching up on his new job (McDonald's) and his summer and his poli/sci classes at Western Illinois. He seems happy enough. I wish he had a busier social calendar, but that's me projecting my values onto him and I really should cut that out.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Bonanza (1959)

1) Bonanza ran on NBC for 14 seasons. Today it's rerun on

Hello, Cowboy

Me-TV and TVLand. Were/are you a fan? Very much! I loved Little Joe when I was a very little girl, and I rediscovered it a few years ago when I had a cold a few years ago. The Cartwrights were good company when I felt bad. I have also developed a posthumous crush on Adam. He was so strong and steady and mature. Sigh.

2) The show centers on The Cartwrights, who lived on a massive ranch in Nevada. License plates in Nevada read, "The Silver State." What's on your license plate? Land of Lincoln.


3) Ben Cartwright made his fortune as a cattle rancher. What's the last beef dish you ate? There was ground beef in the lasagna I had for dinner on Friday.

4) Patriarch Ben had his eldest son, Adam, with his refined, bookish first wife, Elizabeth. Unfortunately, Elizabeth died in childbirth. Still Adam inherited her love of the written word. What's the last book you finished? A Common Struggle by Patrick J. Kennedy.
  5) Ben's second son, Hoss, was born to his second wife, Inger, who was killed as the family traveled West by wagon train. Hoss inherited her open, friendly manner and her way with animals. Are there pets in your home? These two. The gray and white girlcat is my lap as I answer these questions.

 
6) Ben's youngest, Joe, arrived after Ben married a third time to the passionate Marie, who died in a riding accident when her son was only five years old. Little Joe inherited her impetuosity. Do you consider yourself more spontaneous or predictable? Yes. My oldest friend likes to tease me about how I love to have "a plan" when we travel. I don't even have to execute the plan, I am just comforted by having one. So that would make me predictable, right? Yet in matters of emotion, I am spontaneous. I go by my gut.
 
7) Samuel Clemons was a reporter in Virginia City at the time when the Cartwrights would have been there, and a fictionalized version of Mr. Clemons appeared in an episode of Bonanza. Without looking it up, do you know Samuel Clemons' famous pen name? Mark Twain.

8) Hair was a big deal in the Bonanza dressing room. Three of the original four stars -- Lorne Greene, Pernell Roberts and Dan Blocker -- all wore hairpieces. (The fourth, Michael Landon, began dying his hair while still in his 20s because he was going prematurely gray.) Have you ever worn a wig or a hairpiece? I wore a short, curly wig under a man's hat and was Harpo Marx for Halloween. Does that count?
 
9) Random question -- Tell us the story behind one of your scars. I have a short, vertical scar on my lip where I once had a mole. (I'm very fair skinned, and it seems that every year or so a mole acts up, concerns my dermatologist, and has to go.) The plastic surgeon did a nice job. It looks less like a scar than a little wrinkle.

 
 

Three hours is our limit

I had a nice, three-hour visit with my Cousin Rose today. She was visiting her dad's side of the family in Michigan and brought her sister's kids, and their kids, to Chicago for the day. After visiting Sears Tower and Navy Pier, they picked me up at 4:00 and we visited The Bean, and Crown Fountain, and then had some pastries at Toni's. They hit the road at 7:00, heading back to Plainwell. I got on the train and came home.

It was a lovely visit and a happy time. It meant a great deal to me that she wanted to see me.

Yesterday was a bad day. My friend Henry had an ugly confrontation with a volunteer at the library and called me in tears. It was so unexpected, so sad, and I couldn't even spend time with him because I had to go and beaten up for hours at a condo deconversion meeting.

So being with Rose was like a balm to my soul. But I don't think Rose has changed, and I'm sure I haven't either. If we spent more time together, we were bound to generate friction. So I'm grateful we had the these three hours together today.

I'm my mother's daughter

Like her, I believe that a refrigerator is more than a place to store food. It's an opportunity for self expression!

Welcome to my kitchen, new refrigerator.

I hate being busy

I am a slug. I like nothing better than staying stationary with a book, or Farmville, or watching baseball. It relaxes me. And now, with "open seating" at the office, which leaves me piteously exposed all day every day, it's like a lifeline. And this week, I'm afraid I won't get much lazy alone time.

Monday. Movie Meetup. Pride of the Yankees. I do love this 1942 film about Lou Gehrig. And it was nice to get together with Will again. Plus, this week is the All Star Break, which means no Cub games until Friday,* so it was good to get my baseball fix.

Tuesday. Henry's newspaper article. The local Key West paper did a profile on Henry! It was a very affectionate piece with lots of photos and it made him happy. And it was a nice counterpoint to all the intimate, sad online oversharing Reg has been doing about their personal lives. So I was delighted for Henry. But when he phoned last night -- during the All Star Game -- the call went on too long, as calls with Henry invariably do. The conversation got sillier as Henry got more fatigued (and perhaps consumed more wine). I felt guilty that I was relieved to hang up. Henry had good news and wanted to share it, and I am honored he chose to share it with me.

Today. New refrigerator. I'm sitting here, waiting for the new one to arrive and the old one to be hauled away. Sometime between 8:30 and noon. I've got my furniture all moved out of the way and am waiting for the "we're on our way" call to empty the refrigerator. After the guys are finally done, I'll load up the new frig and put my stuff back ... and take a nap.

Thursday. Another condo association meeting. We're busy at work, so I really don't need this shit. Oh, and it will be shit. My neighbors are, quite understandably, concerned about whether or not their homes are going to be sold out from under them. Many unitowners feel that, as a board, we haven't been doing a very good job of communicating. I agree. But as board secretary, I can't share information I don't have, and Brian -- our board president -- has been a complete prick. I am not enthusiastically looking forward to this meeting!

Friday. Cousin Rose. I got a text from her that she will be in town for the day, as she travels between Florida and Michigan. I don't know what all is on her agenda, and this is rather sudden. But I told her I'm free after my doctor's appointment at 3:30. I know Rose loves me and I treasure that. She can also be prickly and difficult. Plus it's going to be 88º and humid. I don't know what she wants to do, or how long she has to spend. Sigh. I like plans and there's no plan!

Saturday. Ball game! I'm thrilled to be going, of course. It's a little melancholy, though, because I'm going with my nephew and not John. This was supposed to be our celebration of his birthday, but he's simply too ill and tired to go. And again, hot, humid weather is predicted, and that will be exhausting.

Sunday. NOTHING! Yea!

*Though Javy Baez, Willson Contreras and Kris Bryant were NL All Stars.

Sunday Stealing

QUESTIONS ARE MY FAVORITE

1. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? MEH. I feel fine, and I don't take my health for granted anymore. I'm not thrilled about having to buy a new refrigerator, and I wish my housing situation wasn't still in flux. But while it's not great, my life is OK.

2. Do you drink enough water? I'm better about water than I used to be.

3. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? I don't think I've been this year! Five Guys and McDonald's, but not Burger King.

4. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains? Mountains (though I like the water, too)

5. How do you usually feel when you wake up on a morning? Scared. Let me explain: my cat, Reynaldo, frequently gets bored and awakens me by knocking things over.

6. Would you rather take someone on a date, or be taken on a date? I'd prefer to stay home and watch a Law & Order rerun.

7. When was the last time you wore high heeled shoes? Decades. I've been told that, because of my heel spurs, high heels can actually cause further damage.

8. Vodka or wine? Vodka.

9. How often do you cry? Probably not often enough

10. Ever had a crush on a teacher? Yes

11. Can you wire a plug? No

12. Do you wear socks to bed? Well, when it's really cold I wear slipper socks. Does that count?

13. What is currently bugging you? See Question #1. (I really should read these before I start answering.)

15. Can you change a car tire? No.

16. Have you met more than ten celebrities? No.

17. Do you sleep naked? I have.

18. What was the best music gig you’ve ever attended? Sir Paul at Wrigley Field. 2011. My favorite guy ever in my favorite place on earth.

19. Have you ever had sexual feelings for anyone you follow on line? No.

20. Who is someone who has changed your life positively. So many people! Lately it's been two of my newest friends, Nancy and Joanna.

21. Favorite city? Chicago

22. Can you drive? No.

22. Cigarettes or alcohol? Alcohol. Cigarettes, literally, stink.

23. Favorite and least favorite accents? Downton Abbey English is my favorite. The Polish lady at the end of the hall who I can't understand is my least favorite.

24. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? Yes

25. Do you like 1980s fashion? I remember it fondly, but I wouldn't wear it now.

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Not as expected

Something happened overnight Friday night. I don't know what exactly, because I was asleep at the other end of the apartment. But when I woke up this morning, my refrigerator was no longer running, the light inside had blown, and my microwave clock read 00:00. They're on the same circuit, so I flipped the circuit breaker a few times. The microwave came back to life, but it seemed the refrigerator was a goner.

Of course. I could get a microwave for $75. A refrigerator is hundreds and hundreds. Not to mention the food that's in there, spoiling. Not to mention trying to explain to Reynaldo that he can't have his luscious canned food.

Oh yeah, and I might be moving within the next year, so I don't want to spend a lot. But then again, I might not be moving and food safety is kinda sorta important.

I hate being a grown up.

So I spent the morning comparing online and by 9:00, I'd made my decision. I tried Sears first because they are struggling and they gave me my start. Alas they didn't have anything they could deliver before Friday at the earliest. So I went with a small(ish) local chain -- six locations -- and I will have my new, sale-priced refrigerator on Wednesday. $565, including tax, delivery and hauling away my current frig.

Of course, by now my refrigerator began showing signs of life. Because that's how life works. However it is 13 years old, wasn't top of the line when it was new, and I have no confidence that it won't crap out again. So I went out and bought a refrigerator thermometer to monitor for food safety. And then I got a fresh pedicure, which was supposed to be the The Big Thing of my day.

Oh, well. At least I'm still working and can afford to buy a new refrigerator. And it was on sale, so there's that. And I have unused personal days, so I can be here when the delivery truck arrives. So it's not as expected, but it's not as bad as it could be.

Good for what ails me

Friday I spent the day with Joanna, having lunch, wandering through The Chicago History Museum, and then having a little dessert afterward.

The museum is a cool building, nestled in a neighborhood (instead of on The Museum Campus, like some of our better known attractions). Got to see Ben Zobrist's World Series game worn jersey, which tickled me. But my happiest moment was climbing around on a real steam engine. It was built in the 1830s and was in service in and out of Chicago for decades. I spent so much of my life on trains, and I find that period of history so romantic, that it was a kick to handle the throttle and play with the valves.

As always, Joanna was interesting. We're both opinionated and neither of us is shy, so it could get contentious. But we are very fond of one another, and our disagreements were never disagreeable.

She told me about a neighbor of hers who had surgery and really needed Joanna's help. My friend was happy to help, but said her neighbor could be "odd" and "difficult" because she was often monosyllabic, and it can be hard to keep a conversation going. That's not a problem Joanna has with me!

One thing I feel kind of guilty about: Joanna was talking about another friend of hers who is "interesting" and "self taught." "She read all those books you and I should have read in college but didn't." I let the moment pass without admitting I never finished my freshman year. Here I am, 61 years old, and still ashamed that I didn't go to college.

Saturday 9

America, the Beautiful  

Unfamiliar with Frank Sinatra's 1945 version of this song? Hear it here.

1) In 2016, a group recommended that this week's song replace "The Star Spangled Banner" as our national anthem. They maintain it's just as beautiful but easier to sing. How do you feel about this? I'd prefer "America, the Beautiful" because it's about our natural gifts, not war. On the other hand, I understand the value of tradition. So I guess this is one of those issues that I'm firmly on both sides of.

2) Katharine L. Bates said her lyrics were inspired by a trip to Pike's Peak. What's the most beautiful American spot you've ever visited? It's one that I take for granted: Lake Michigan. It's hypnotic, it's awe-inspiring. With all that fresh water, it keeps us alive.

3) The music was written by organist Samuel Augustus Ward. Both Bates and Ward were very formal when signing their names professionally -- she including her middle initial and he with his full middle name. How about you? When you sign checks or documents, do you use your middle name or initial? Yes. Most of my credit cards, my checking account, my mortgage ... they all include my middle initial.

4) In 1945, when this version of the song was recorded, America lost Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Frank Sinatra said, "I lost a hero." What late, great American hero from our past would you like to honor today? Watch this. Really. This was a great man.

 


5) Also in 1945, a 19-year-old "hoofer" waited outside the Los Angeles radio station where Sinatra was being interviewed. That was the beginning of the friendship between Sammy Davis, Jr., and Frank Sinatra. Tell us about your oldest friend. We met in Kindergarten. We Beatle bonded, her falling for George while I staked my claim on The Cute One. She currently lives in California, and I miss her every day.

6) The Fourth of July means we're in the middle of summer. Are you careful about applying sunscreen? Yes

7) Mosquito bites can be a major summer annoyance. Are you scratching any itches right now? Little dry skin related things, but right now, no bug bites.

8) Emergency rooms report an increase in wrist injuries in summer, with people falling off bikes and skateboards and jamming their wrists catching hard-hit softballs. Have you  been to the ER or Urgent Care during 2019? No.

9) New York is home to Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest every year on the 4th. Will hot dogs be consumed in your household this weekend? Yesterday I had a hotdog and chips in cafe at the Chicago History Museum.

An unexpected act of kindness

I have been blue because of John. We can't celebrate his birthday (7/3) as we had planned this year because of his battle with heart failure. He expects to be feeling better within several weeks, and we have a quiet get together planned for the first weekend in August. But the reality of his illness has cast a pall over my holiday weekend.

Also, things have been getting under my skin and annoying me more than before. For example, earlier this week, at the office, when the gravity of John's condition washed over me anew. We were talking about our plans for the long holiday weekend and when I said, "John is too sick to celebrate ...," my art director snapped, "I hate martyrs." I responded that he wasn't a martyr, that people die from what he has. Embarrassed, she mumbled something and grabbed her purse. This is not the first time she has exhibited a marked lack of concern for what I'm dealing with in my life.

My friend Joanna and I are planning to do something patriotic this weekend: a trip to the Chicago History Museum, with its exhibit on Abe. I chose to do it on Friday, not Thursday, because train schedules will be more predictable. That might have been a mistake, since I was feeling quite low on the 4th itself.

I'd promised myself I would scrub my beautiful bathroom. There's no window in that room and mildew can be a problem. If I cleaned it up, and swapped out a new shower curtain liner, I might feel better about life. (Side note: I cleaned just about every surface with Dawn Platinum; love that stuff!)

It was then I heard from Nancy. Via Facebook. She saw my holiday posts, realized we hadn't seen one another in a while, and spontaneously invited me over for "burgers and brats on the grill" with her family. I declined -- I know me well enough to understand that if I abandoned my Thursday bathroom project it would never happen.

Still, it made me feel better. More connected and less isolated. It made a difference.

She and I are getting together later in the month and I'll have to tell her what her invitation meant to me. It was one of those little things that didn't feel little.

Happy 4th of July!

The flag in the Pavilion of the JFK Presidential Library. If you've ever been there (and you should go!), you know that the Pavilion is both breathtaking and just about impossible to photograph, so I consider this picture from the library website a real gift to us all. That's President Kennedy's beloved sailboat, the Victura, on the lawn.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? Let's Play Two: The Legend of Mr. Cub, The Life of Ernie Banks by Ron Rapoport. As a lifelong Cub fan, I revere Ernie. I know the stats: 512 home runs, back-to-back MVP awards, 14 All Star games ... and no World Series ring. I adored his upbeat public persona, but knew little about his life off the diamond. 

His life was not at all what it seemed. The man who never turned down a kid who wanted an autograph was more isolated than I ever knew. The man who always had a grin for the fans was smiling through Jim Crow, divorce, and regrets. Ernie died in 2015 -- he didn't live to see the Cubs finally win The World Series in 2016 -- and now the people in his life felt comfortable sharing freely to this author. It feels like I'm finally getting a full portrait of the husband, father, friend, and peerless ballplayer who was Mr. Cub.

2. What did you recently finish reading? A Common Struggle, by Patrick J. Kennedy. This is a serious, downright wonky book about how Americans view and treat mental illness and addiction. Patrick Kennedy is uniquely qualified to present this to us. A member of the House of Representatives who helped craft and pass health care legislation, he's also bipolar and an addict.

He's the son of Ted Kennedy, nephew of Jack and Bobby, but this book contains no juicy stories about his famous clan. Instead, he uses his family to emphasize the universal nature of addiction and mental illness. For example, when his brother Teddy was diagnosed with cancer, America showered the family with compassion and well wishes. When, around that time, his mother Joan's emotional and alcohol problems became obvious, they were met with gossip and judgement. Yet Joan was just as ill as her son Teddy. Depression and addiction are sicknesses, not character flaws. They are illnesses that have likely touched you, your family or someone close to you. Battling them is, as Kennedy explains, a common struggle.

3.  What will you read next? Not another biography. Maybe a mystery or perhaps some chick-lit.