Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Happy Holidays! (from the archives) 

1. Sam loved giving her annual wish list to Santa. Yet some children are reluctant to climb into Jolly Old St. Nick's lap. Did you enjoy the tradition or were you shy? Or did you by pass it altogether -- either because you wrote him a letter or because your family didn't celebrate Christmas?  I would have preferred to write a letter. I felt I could have been far more specific for Santa by copying out page numbers from the Sears Christmas Catalog. But my mom got a kick out of seeing us with Santa, so that's what we did.

2. Are you currently on the Naughty or Nice list? How did you get there? I've been pretty nice this year. I've done good work and tried to be a good friend.

3. Did you ship any gifts to friends and family this year? If so, which one traveled the farthest? I sent this book about the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum to my oldest friend in California. When she lived in Chicagoland, she enjoyed our trips to Springfield to see Abe so I'm sure it will make her happy. This slim volume traveled about 1,940 miles, courtesy of the USPS.

4. Did you buy yourself a gift this year? I gave myself a new pair of glasses. New prescription, blue frames. Interestingly, my prescription is a little weaker this time than it was in 2016. It surprised me, but the eye doctor says that's not unusual.

5. What's your favorite holiday-themed movie? Have you seen it yet this year? My favorite is Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. I haven't seen it yet this year. I may bring it along with me when I leave town. Maybe I can watch it when I'm waiting around to change planes.

6. Thinking of movies, Christmas is lucrative for Hollywood. Have you ever gone to a movie theater on Christmas Day? No.

7. Have you ever suffered an embarrassing moment at the company Christmas party? No.

8. What's your favorite beverage in cold weather? This year, I've enjoyed Rumchata.

9. Share a memory from last Christmas. Last year, during the Christmas Eve service, I

started to cry. I was overwhelmed with sadness and worry about Napoleon the Cat and his homeless humans, Caleb and Randi. Chicago winters can be brutal and I knew they were trying to get by in their tent. This year, I'm happy to report that they have made it off the streets and sleep indoors in a makeshift studio apartment above a garage. Of course, the problem of homelessness persists and people still need our help. Christmas is a good time to keep them in our prayers and maybe do something more tangible to make their holidays brighter.

Enjoy your holidays, Everyone!

I hate this

Henry called again last night. He had a fight with Reg, which ended with him having to get a ride from his friend, Phyllis, who scolded him. And that turned into a two-hour call to me.

He can't live in Key West anymore. No one supports him. Everyone treats him as though the accident was his fault. Everyone insists he has a brain injury. He wants a divorce.

It's exhausting.

Especially when he begins to rehash the accident and his time in the hospital. I tell him what I always tell him -- I don't drive, I can't begin to speculate what happened at the moment of impact; he was not put into a coma for two weeks for his ankle, and if he wants to know about his brain, he should talk to his local, trusted GP who has all of his medical records.

I told him that if he really wants out, he has to be smart. The house they both live in is in his name. Is he prepared to throw Reg out and sell it? Is he single-mindedly devoted to rehabilitating his ankle, so he can move to another city and get a new job? That seemed to distract him and refocus him. He wants to give Reg another chance. He wants to save his marriage.

I looked at the phone. We had just hit the 1:44 mark. The remaining 20 minutes were really rather pleasant. He can't wait to see me Saturday. Then I had stomach cramps and diarrhea. It might have been the greasy, cheesey lunch I had with my nephew. But the stress of this call, and my upcoming visit, didn't help.

I know it's only been two months. I know he's doing the best he can, trying to work through the horror of what happened to him and the aftermath. I know it is a testament to our friendship that he turns to me.

I am not a shrink. I am not a doctor. I am just a friend who loves him. I feel inadequate and overwhelmed.

Earrings, gloves and a cat toy

That's what I got from my nephew for Christmas. The earrings are square bits of pale blue glass, which means he's made note of what I wear. The gloves are emblazoned with a Cubs logo (duh). Unfortunately, the cat toy is not impressing the feline denizens of my household. Connie does, however, like the white plastic string that attached the tag to the toy.

I gave him a cap from the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. He and I have discussed how the Library is more than $9 million in the hole. So, since he loves caps and he loves Abe, I know he appreciates that his gift will help. I also gave him a gift card to Walmart. The Walmart near his campus is his hub for everything -- groceries, toiletries, clothes and (I suspect) Christmas shopping.

We had a cheesey lunch at a restaurant walking distance from his house. I had grilled cheese and he had pizza. He updated me on his exams (all good grades, thank you) and the friends he's made in his dorm. We talked about the upcoming Cubs season (will we get Bryce Harper?) and politics.

It was a good Christmas visit, but it left me more tired than it should have. I just can't lick this cold and cough!

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW.WEDNESDAY asks us three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.

 

1. What are you currently reading?  

Shadows of a Princess by P. D. Jephson. Am I the only one who has a hard time imagining Princess Diana as a grandmother three (now almost four) times over? This book, a memoir by her personal secretary, takes us through 1987 to 1996 -- the dissolution of Diana's marriage to building her life as a single woman. So it covers the years where I see her most clearly in my mind's eye: glittering fashion icon, young mother, unhappy wife. Jephson left Kensington Palace before her relationship with Dodi Fayed and the fateful trip to Paris in 1997.

Published in 2000, Shadows of a Princess was controversial at the time. The author maintains it's an honest portrait of his time in the Princess' employ. Her partisans said it was a hatchet job. I wonder how I'll feel about it, 18 years out.

2. What did you recently finish reading?  

Sorry, Spenser

Silent Night by Robert B. Parker with Helen Brann. The is The Spenser Christmas Mystery. Taken as such, it's fine. We get to see our favorite private investigator enjoying the holidays in Boston. There's snow on the Boston Commons and Christmas shopping at Filene's. Throughout he's planning an ambitious turducken dinner to be prepared at Susan's house on Christmas Day. All that was fun. 

The mystery left a little to be desired. A guy named Jackie Alvarez runs a shelter for homeless boys. Someone wants Jackie to close his doors. He's getting threats. Does someone want the real estate the shelter sits on? Is this harassment tied to Jackie's brother Juan, the high-profile, nouveau riche exporter? The story has too many coincidences and each action sequence has a predictable outcome. 

Still, I'm glad I read it. I like knowing that "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer" annoys Spenser and that Pearl the Wonder Dog gets a special breakfast on Christmas morning.

3.  What will you read next?  

I don't know.

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The old and the new

My movie Meet Up had our holiday flick last night. It was a typical, soapy "women's picture," Penny Serenade (1941) takes an average young couple from courtship through marriage and finally, separation. Of course, this "average" couple is spectacular looking -- Irene Dunne and (sigh) Cary Grant -- and their life together includes a glamorous interlude in Asia.

If this sounds like I didn't enjoy it, NOT TRUE! It was a delight. Cary Grant is terrific: Sweet but vainglorious, immature but sincere. He got a well-deserved Oscar nomination for this role.

I quibble with considering it a holiday movie. There are scenes that take place at Christmas and New Year's, but if that's the standard, then Die Hard is indeed a Christmas movie and we should screen it next year. But this is a small complaint. A lovely movie and a chance to see Will and Betty before year-end. (Unfortunately Joanna couldn't make it. But we've been in touch. I'll try to see her next week, or maybe on New Year's.)

I also saw this year's Oscar-buzzy Green Book. Loved it, too.

It's been slammed for being predictable, and yeah, it kinda is. But here's the thing: it's based on a true story. Both of the men depicted (Tony Lip and Don Shirley) knew it was being made and approved the direction the script took. So if this is the way they remembered it, I accept that.

Viggo Mortenson is Tony. Every time he opens his mouth, something goes in (cigarette, sandwich, soda pop). He's dumpy, loud, and ignorant. He's also savvy, strong and crazy in love with his wife and kids. He acts as driver and body guard for African American musician Don Shirley during Shirley's 1962 concert tour through the Deep South. They bond, and formed a friendship that lasted until they died, months apart, in 2013.

My favorite scene in the movie involves Bobby Kennedy. He doesn't appear on screen, but his distinctive Boston accent is heard and heeded by a character at a critical moment. It reminded me of the 2013 movie Loving, where Bobby played a similar unseen role. This reminds me of why I'm a Kennedy Girl -- it's the role of government to do for the individual what the individual can't do alone, and I long for days when people thought they could look to Washington DC to lift them up, not hold them back.

What I did today instead of laundry

I was awakened this morning at 4:00 AM. Not by Reynaldo, but by a stabbing pain in my right calf. The suddenness frightened me. It passed quickly (less than 2 minutes?) but it was sharp and new and upsetting. I drank some water, played a little Farmville, fed the cats (who thought this was the official start of our day), and went back to bed until about 7:30.

At 9:00 AM, as I was preparing to multitask by watching Meet the Press as I touched up my pedi, it happened again. Same pain, same spot. My face felt hot. I remembered what my doctor had told me about calf pain last fall -- that it could signal something dangerous and I shouldn't wait to get it "looked at." So I took a shower (standing on my right leg the whole time so I could see if it was weak; it wasn't) and went to Urgent Care.

Because the pain was on the outside of my calf, where there are a lot of ligaments but not many blood vessels, it was likely not life threatening. Plus, I just had an ultrasound in October which revealed no clot.

However, because I am over 60, and overweight, and my right calf is larger than my left (likely from edema), and October was 2 1/2 months ago, they couldn't completely rule out a blood clot.

So, the doctor said, he was giving me an order to go to the ER. He told me it was "precautionary." He said if a blood clot was ruled out, I should wear compression hose at night and see a sports doctor.

He seemed so sure it was nothing that I almost didn't go. Then the nurse came in with the paperwork. As almost an afterthought, she asked me about my holiday plans. I told her I was flying to Florida and she cut me off, saying, "Then it's good that you're getting this checked out."

She was right. So I walked up the street to the ER. It was a different world than Urgent Care! More cramped, more institutional gray, older. Everyone was very nice. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon before Christmas and the Bears were playing the Packers. Lots to chat about as the processed my paperwork, trying to keep me from being scared. I appreciated it.

They put me in Screening Area #2, where I was for hours. On a gurney, in a gown. With my book. A nurse came and checked on me frequently. A very nice doctor -- with a kindly manner and a white beard, just like in the movies! -- chatted and gave me a nebulizer treatment for my cough. ("Why not? You're waiting here anyway, right?")

Finally they were ready for me in Imaging. The sonographer was very nice -- also a little older than I expected, but it was Sunday and this was their Emergency staff -- and assured me she always kept  her "goo" at room temperature.

Then I was wheeled back to #2, where Friendly Dr. Freud came in and told me to go home. "I don't know what caused your pain, but it's not life threatening." And he gave me a script for an inhaler. He actually seemed more worried about my cough, which is a relief in the scheme of things.

On the way home, I picked up a slice of pizza. I was in bed by 6:00. Exhausted by the stress, but happy to be in my own bed.

I am grateful for insurance, so I can afford to rule out a blood clot. Today cost me a little over $200, which I'm not happy about, of course, but I realize the price tag without insurance would have been completely prohibitive and I would've been playing the odds with my life.

I am grateful that I have an Urgent Care almost literally across the street and a hospital 15 minutes away on foot. It's not the hospital my doctor practices at, or the one affiliated with the Urgent Care facility. Those are newer, more modern and frankly, more pleasing to the eye. But this one was nearby, they took me, and everyone was unfailingly gentle and sensitive.

And I'm worried about Frances. She was the little girl in Screening Area #1, and she was in Imaging next to me, too. Because of the curtain "walls," I never saw her, but I heard her. She sounded about 10 years old. She was very scared and, for some reason, no parent or family member was with her. From what I could tell she had some kind of urinary or bladder issue, and she was very scared. Very embarrassed that she had to be in a diaper. She never actually cried, but I could tell by the conversation that she was -- literally -- attached to the ER nurse. Finally the nurse agreed to go with her to Imaging, which I thought was very kind.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed to watch Law & Order reruns and try to relax. It was an exhausting day, even with the positive outcome.

Sunday Stealing

FASHION ASKS

    

What season has your favorite looks? Fall, I suppose. I'm always happy to see my sweaters again, and I enjoy shopping for new ones.

    Formal or casual? Casual.

    Thrift store, boutique, or online? I have begun appreciating thrift stores more. A lot of it is the thrill of discovery. My greatest find was last spring, when I got a like-new black trench ($175 MSRP @ Nordstrom's) for $14!

    What’s your favorite decade for fashion? OH, definitely the 1960s! I love Jackie's clean lines.

    Do you like to accessorize? No. I think less is more.

    What does your basic outfit look like? Jeans and a pullover. If it's a dressier occasion, I'll wear a t-shirt with a shrug in spring/summer or a jacket/cardigan in fall/winter.

    What piece of clothing do you spend your money on the most? Winter coats or boots are the most expensive. I buy lots of sunglasses because I lose them.

    Do you wear hats? Nope. Hoods or earmuffs, please.

    What is your opinion on wearing socks and sandals together? I have a low opinion of this.

    What colors do you like to wear? Blue, black and gray (which I guess is really just a muted black, isn't it?)

    What are some of the strangest outfits you have seen? On the el, I've seen some interesting looks. I'm especially fascinated by overweight women wearing sexually suggestive t-shirts ("You wish you could handle these," "Give me something to scream about," etc.). I wonder where they're going that this is appropriate attire, and whether they really believe they're all that.

    What fashions do you hate? "Hate" is a strong word, but I really don't get distressed jeans.

    What are your favorite styles? I like tailored looks. If I still had the body I had when I was 25, I would love to wear Emma Stone's Oscar 2018 look.

    What do you think of body piercing? It's not for me.

    Do you like dyed hair? I like mine dyed. Been doing it for (gulp!) almost 40 years.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: We Need a Little Christmas (2006)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) At the beginning of this recording, Daffy says he hopes all his friends remember his size, style and favorite color. What piece of clothing would you like to add to your wardrobe? I'm on the lookout for jeans. My favorites -- Amanda by Gloria Vanderbilt -- were always on the rack at Carson's. But Carson's (perhaps it was Bergner's or Bon-Ton in your neighborhood) is gone.

2) His friends are late for Daffy's holiday soiree. Think about the last get together you attended. Were you early, late or right on time? I was 10 minutes late meeting my niece and her boyfriend for our Christmas lunch. I was getting my hair cut, and my stylist wanted to give me a little Christmas present. I couldn't very well hurry him up when he was being nice. (My niece and her beau were very gracious.)

3) It hasn't a snowed a single flurry where Daffy is. Have you had to shovel yet? I never shovel. I live in a multi-unit building and we pay a guy to do it. But, in the spirit of the question, yes, we have had enough snow to warrant shoveling.

4) Daffy sings that he's looking forward to fruitcake. How about you? Are you a fruitcake fan? Nope. I'll be curious to see if anyone answers this in the affirmative.

5) Daffy is an American Black Duck. Their usual diet doesn't generally include fruitcake. These ducks more commonly dine on seeds, foliage and bugs. What was your most recent meal? A handful of crackers. I have a cold and have been taking Dayquil. Which, I have learned, contains Guaifenesin, and Guaifenesin messes with my stomach. I'm starting to feel better this morning, so I'm done with Dayquil and am looking forward to eating again.

6) The only Christmas card Sam has received so far this year is from her insurance agent. She never sees her agent socially. In fact, she doesn't think she's seen him at all in 2018. Have you received many cards this year? If so, were they from people you feel close to? So far I've got 8. Two are from charities, six from friends.

7) When do you start holiday shopping: Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving/Black Friday, Halloween? I do my shopping all year around. If I find the perfect thing, I snap it up. It's a habit I got from my mom.

8) Sam was recently driven crazy by kids running through store aisles wearing elf hats with bells. Do you have any apparel that makes noise? Nope. All my clothes are blissfully silent. Though the buckles on my briefcase do clack-clack if I don't shut them securely.

9) This time of year is big for charitable fundraising. Here's your chance to plug a cause or organization that's near and dear to you. Your local animal shelter. National organizations do good work, but if you can, give directly to the shelter in your town so your money will do more good faster. For a shelter near you, visit petfinder.

My cat, Connie, still at the shelter while we were filling out the paperwork.

What a Character Blogathon: Jean Dixon

Luminous Carole Lombard is one of my favorite classic film stars.

She was beautiful.

She was charismatic.

She made whatever she wore look terrific.

No one was funnier than Lombard.

You can't take your eyes off her when she's onscreen.


Unless she's sharing the screen with her.

Jean Dixon was once Hollywood's Everywoman. Her face was relateable. She reminded you of your neighbor or your mom, or maybe the face that looks back out at you in the mirror. Her manner was never exactly brusque but always no-nonsense. The women she played had full lives with a lot going on, and not much time for mischief.

My Man Godfrey (1936). William Powell is Godfrey, Carole Lombard is Irene, and Jean Dixon is Molly, the Bullock family's long-time maid. "The seasoned campaigner," as she refers to herself. She's seen it all, from Mrs. Bullock's morning-after apparitions to Miss Irene's horse in the den. Molly is a savvy survivor. She takes it all as it comes.

For example, woe be to the cop who questions Molly about a missing strand of pearls!

Officer: Just a minute, Sister ...
Molly: If I thought that was true, I'd disown my parents.

And yet Molly has a soft side. She falls in love with Godfrey, as does Irene. They have a lovely little scene in the kitchen where they recognize this in each other. These two women, downstairs and upstairs, share the sting of unrequited passion.

Molly is sewing a button onto Godfrey's jacket, fondling the garment he will soon wear, and seldom looks up at Irene as they speak. And yet she -- not Irene -- is the one you ache for. You've seen enough movies to know which of these two Godfrey is more likely to end up with. You hope she'll find herself a man who will value her smarts, her strength and her decency.

Her last film was Holiday (1938). She plays Mrs. Susan Elliott Potter, a professor married to a professor. They're two lower middle class academics who find themselves surrounded by the wealthy and socially prominent Seaton family when their good friend, Johnny Case, proposes to one of the beautiful Seaton daughters.


Throughout the movie, Susan speaks for us. She wants Johnny (Cary Grant) to be happy, and understands that it's the other sister (Katharine Hepburn) who is his destiny.

She's so very authentic in this role. Her discomfort at the society New Year's Eve party is a multi-layered delight. There's tension not because she knows the Seaton crowd is looking down on her, but because she's looking down on them, too. She has a real life. She teaches. She's making ends meet as she makes a home for her husband (and often Johnny, who has been known to crash on their couch). She doesn't have time or patience with keeping track of who spends their winter holidays where or which is the "right" invitation to accept this season.

Her relationship with Hepburn's Linda is subtle and comforting. Much is made of the long-ago loss of Linda's mother, and the void it's left in the younger woman's life. You hope that part of the happy ending for Linda and Johnny is the continued maternal presence of Susan.

Other notable Jean Dixon roles (and the superstars she supported):

•  Sadie McKee (1934) with Joan Crawford
•  She Married Her Boss (1935) with Claudette Colbert
•  The Joy of Living (1938) with Irene Dunne


Let's close with a little background information on Jean Dixon.

•  She was born in 1896 in Waterbury, CT.

•  Her own backstory was more Bullock/Seaton than Molly or Susan Potter. She went away to school in France and studied with Sarah Bernhardt.

•  She made her Broadway stage debut in 1921, and returned to the New York stage after completing Holiday in 1938.

•  In 1960, when much TV was still produced in New York, she added a few television credits to her resume before retiring.

•  Her husband, Edward Ely, was a painter who also preferred New York to LA. They were married until his death in 1980.

•  She passed away the following year.

Learn more about the "second bananas" 
who enhanced the movies we love. 

Check out other posts in the What A Character Blogathon. 

Click here

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW.WEDNESDAY asks us three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
 

1. What are you currently reading?  

Silent Night by Robert B. Parker with Helen Brann. How did I miss this volume? A Spenser book actually written by Robert B. Parker! No offense to Ace Atkins, who has done a wonderful job with the franchise since Parker's death, but I look forward to spending a little time with the old master. I've learned this is the book he was actually finishing at the time of his death, which makes it all the more poignant.

It's Christmastime in Boston. For Spenser, that means snow, strong and bracing drinks at the bar in what used to be the Ritz, homecooked dinners for his beloved Susan ... and the unexpected appearance of an 11-year-old boy who is frightened (with good reason) and needs help.

2. What did you recently finish reading?  

Y Is for Yesterday by Sue Grafton. The last book in the "alphabet series" is dark. Unlikable teens get involved in a cheating scandal that spirals out of control. Ten years later, the effects are still being felt. Kinsey is brought in to try to make sense of it. (There! I told it without spoilers!) The thing is, they grew up to be equally unlikable young adults. While I'm sure private investigators get cases like this, which pay the bills but are really unpleasant, it is hard for us readers. There really is no one to root for.

One thing about this volume that is unusual for the series and disturbing: animals in peril. There's Killer, a fierce-looking dog who has his sweet side, and Butch, a gentle canine giant who is heartbreakingly devoted to one of the students, and Ed, the cat who adopted Henry. All the while I was reading I was nervous for these dear furry souls. 

So I guess I have to say I didn't really like this book. But I did savor it. This was our last encounter with Kinsey, and I will miss her.

3.  What will you read next?  
Fiction? A biography? NOT a mystery!

Zzzzzz

Today was the fourth day of my four day weekend, and my cold really kicked in. I'm tired and have a hard time focusing. 

I took my temperature. No fever. Plus, I had a flu shot. This is just a cold.

I have to go to work tomorrow. We're having an all-day client presentation. All I have to do is sit there and listen. I think I can handle that.

If I can stay awake.

Engaging, entertaining and a bit uncomfortable

Can You Ever Forgive Me?, will hold your interest. That's noteworthy considering the subject matter: a misanthropic, underemployed writer resorts to plagiarism to pay the bills. No romance, no car chases. It does have a very cool soundtrack and a rather daring central performance by Melissa McCarthy as real-life author Lee Israel.

And bad housekeeping and cats.

I'm not a lesbian and I don't drink as much as Lee, and I don't recall anyone ever complaining that my home has smelled, but ... I got home to my cluttered and dusty apartment, saw my suitcase in the living room where it's been since November 1, and clucked at myself. Then I took a nap.

Really. Next week, I'm going to do some housework. Honest to God!

First Henry, then Reg

Henry is recovering. He is. But it's not an easy journey. On the positive side of the ledger: his dear, empathetic side is re-emerging. For a while after his accident, he was maddeningly self involved. He didn't care about how his accident affected those who love him most -- not even the confused dogs he doted on. This past week, he called me to ask me how my Big Presentation went. That thoughtful gesture was so Henry, and it's a huge indicator of improvement. He's also more reality based. He shared some lurid delusions while in the hospital. Those are over.

On the negative side: he's obsessed with the moment of impact (which he doesn't remember) and keeps insisting he never had a head injury. He's like a dog with a dirty sock. "The witnesses are lying," "the driver was drunk or distracted," "I was 'clear as a bell,'" "if I had this brain injury like they say, why don't I have any bruises or scars on my face or scalp?"

It's wearying to sit on the phone and listen to this. Over and over. I have told him I refuse to treat him like a child, and that if I challenge him, it's because he's an intelligent man and my equal. So, Henry --

•  WHY would the witnesses lie? What's in it for them?
•  If the driver was drunk or distracted, why not hire a lawyer? (Said with complete confidence that no lawyer would take this case)
•  Your blood alcohol is part of your hospital record
•  You were in a coma for two weeks, and during that time the superficial scratches on your head healed

Over and over, every time we talk. And he calls me all the time. I'm ashamed to admit that if he calls before 9:00 AM or after 10:00 PM, I don't pick up.

I always reassure him that I love him. That I am on his side. That I cannot imagine how terrifying it is to lose two weeks to a coma, based on a cataclysmic event he can't even remember. I tell him that I know how hard his life has been over the last two years -- he lost two close friends and his writing partner, he survived Irma and worried about his family suffering through Maria, and now this. I've been with him through those traumas, so I know. My heart is with him.

After I hang up, Reg reliably calls. He wants to "set the record straight," which really isn't necessary. I know Henry had a traumatic brain injury. I know he was at fault in this accident. But Reg wants to talk.

Today he advised me not to talk to Henry about the accident or the hospital anymore. I almost laughed out loud. I did say, "You know, I'm not the one calling him to discuss it. It's the other way around." If I never again have one of these flights of fancy conversations with Henry about those events, I'll be fucking delighted!

But Reg is Henry's husband. He is in charge of Henry's care. And so from now on, I will try to deftly change the subject when Henry brings up the collision and the hospital.

Still, after the two calls today, three hours had gone by. I was exhausted.

I must focus on the positive. In less than two weeks, I'll be down in Key West for Christmas. I have told both Henry and Reg and that I plan on spending a few hours each afternoon or evening in their home. Reading with Henry, having lunch or dinner, watching movies ... Everything low key. I don't want to commit to spending all day or all evening in case Henry gets tired, and I don't want him to feel like my host. But I insist we will celebrate Henry's birthday and Christmas. I am bringing that normalcy with me.

Henry is going to get well. I've seen evidence of it. And I want him to remember this time in his life as not all bad.

Look at me! I'm Santa's Helper!

I've been so preoccupied with Henry's recovery* that I have let some holiday traditions slide by the wayside. Like giving. So Sunday I got on it.

Lawrence. I live next door to a children's home, where kids live while awaiting placement in foster care. It also offers childcare for a sliding scale to working parents who can't afford any other option. To help these kids enjoy a little tangible Christmas cheer, the home decorates the tree at Whole Foods. Each paper ornament has the name/age of a child and what they'd like to receive at their Christmas party. For some of these kids, it will be the only present they receive.

Perusing the ornaments, I saw that gift cards are big this year. Walmart, Amazon and McDonald's, specifically. I get it. I bet when you're little it feels very grown up to go into a store (or to a site) and be able to choose whatever you want and pay for it yourself. But I don't want to do that. I don't want Santa to hand "my kid" an envelope. I want the big guy to hand over a gift.

So I was drawn to Lawrence. Age 6. Because he asked for clothes. And not specific athletic shoes, like some of the boys did. Just "shirts and jeans." Unless he's a burgeoning fashionista, he must really need those clothes. So I went to Old Navy and got him a heavy shawl-collared sweater and a pair of jeans. Then there's Cha-Cha-Chihuahua. It's a game I picked up last summer when a local  toy seller went out of business. I think Lawrence needs it.

One of my agency's clients is a certain fast food giant that gives away toys with their kids meals. Last summer, when we were packing up for our move, I rescued a bag of these toys from the dumpster. So Lawrence is getting a little Minions holiday train, too. Isn't a Christmas party better than a landfill?

Toys for Tots. I love this organization, because it breaks my heart to think of a kid disappointed by Santa. So this year I'm donating a "Mighty Muggs" Star Wars action figure, a bathtime baby doll, a sticker craft set, an oversized Christmas picture book and a special edition Sponge Bob Uno game. I've been picking these things up all year, whenever I see toys on sale, so it didn't tax my budget in the least. If you'd like to donate to Toys for Tots, click here.

My baggy project. I want to take what I learned from my relationship with Napoleon, Caleb and Randi and put it to good use. So I'm filling little sandwich bags with stuff intended to make the day of a homeless person a bit more merry and bright. So far each has a packet of tissues, a travel-sized hand lotion and an apple/cinnamon breakfast bar (the red wrapper is Christmasy) and a dollar bill. I always knew that the homeless needed money, but Randi taught me that it's important to remember that they aren't "just" homeless people, but people, too. Everyone enjoys little surprises at Christmastime.

It's beginning to feel a bit more like Christmas.

*More on that above.

Why be a jerk in the Lord's name?

One of our newer Sat 9-ers went off on a mini-rant this week about Christmas. It's too commercial, and those "seculars" insist on saying "Happy Holidays," which somehow diminishes the season for her.

It's her blog so it's her right to rant. I just won't visit her anymore. It's not the first time that she's wrapped her hostility in my faith and it offends me.

My Christianity is about love.

I love my Jewish friends, who celebrate Hanukkah during this Sat 9-er's Christmas season. I refuse to believe that Jesus actually wants me to ignore what matters to them as I celebrate Him. Similarly, when I say "Happy Holidays," in addition to Christmas I am including The Immaculate Conception, Kwanzaa, St. Nicholas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's.  I don't make a big deal out of all those days, but if you do, please be happy. The world needs more happy.

When you are bagging my groceries or handing me my dry cleaning, I cannot know which of those holidays you celebrate. So I say, "Happy Holidays." Because I know Jesus wants good things for you, too.

If you do not worship any god, you still deserve to make happy memories during this happy time. If you are atheist or agnostic, you have obviously heard The Greatest Story Ever Told and decided it's not for you. I don't believe that my saying, "Merry Christmas" will suddenly make a lightbulb go off over your head. I do believe, however, that my tone-deaf admonition that you celebrate my faith could drive you further away. And that is not my goal.

And then there's this: this country was built on religious freedom. So this insistence on institutionalized Christianity is unpatriotic.

Besides, "Happy Holidays" was good enough for Andy Williams. Andy is, of course, the Official Voice of The Gal Herself's Christmas.  

I wish everyone could experience the solace and wisdom I get from following Jesus. But even if you don't, I sincerely want you to enjoy the season, and to enjoy Andy.

Sunday Stealing

Dreamy

favorite novel and author? It changes. Lately I've been thinking about William Goldman, who died last month. He's best known as a screenwriter, but his novels were little gems of wit, heart and construction. If you get a chance, read Princess Bride and Magic. They were exceptional novels before they became hit movies.

favorite perfume/scent? Black Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor

coffee or tea? Tea

are you a cat or dog person? I object to this question. I love critters. I have cats because my lifestyle is cat friendly. But I could easily lose my heart to a dog.
 
which mythical creature would you transform into if you could? No specific myth comes to mind. Though I would like her powers.
 

via GIPHY

favorite time period? Mid century. Either the 1860s or the 1960s. Such tumult and romance!
name 3 films that have changed your life and have shaped you into the person you are today.
Mary Poppins
The Way We Were
To Kill a Mockingbird 


diamonds or pearls? Pearls. The more you know about diamonds, the less beautiful they become.
 

what’s your biggest dream? Independence/security
 

dream destination? Lately I have been fantasizing about a return to the Spa at Colonial Williamsburg. It's financially not in the cards, but it's where my mind wanders.


favorite fictional character? Jo from Little Women


share a quote or passage that means something to you.

what’s your favorite plant/flower? Carnations. They are colorful, versatile and fragrant.
 

do you prefer the forest or the ocean? why? I like big water (rivers and lakes, too). I like their motion and their colors.
 

what do you value most in people?  Availability. The willingness to be there. (Which reminds me -- I owe two friends phone calls!)

I admit I'm relieved

My niece wanted to celebrate Christmas with me this year. This was a surprise. A pleasant one to be sure, but a surprise nevertheless. I felt it keenly that we missed one another last year, but I didn't realize she felt it, too.

Then I got thinking: Why does she want to see me? I began to suspect that she might be engaged. She and Mark have been together a while now (two years?) and she seems to love him very much.* He's good to her, he loves their cats, and he's smart and progressive, so he gets my seal of approval. I wish he was a Cub fan, but we can't have everything. (At least he's not a Cardinals fan.)

Then, being me, I got worrying: A wedding! I may be moving this year, I'm going to the TCM Film Festival ... How much time will I get off? And I don't want to see my older sister. I really, really don't.

I'm happy to report that her left hand was naked as a jaybird! She just wanted to see me. And she seemed to be very happy that I was getting along so well with Mark. He was a little shy at first, but he mentioned that in college he took a course in bio-neurology and brain function, so I used questions about Henry's accident and recovery to draw him out.

I gave her a colorful, crazy soft faux fur scarf and a giftcard to Ulta. I'm not 100% sure she liked the scarf. It might be a little too much color for her. Since it's a regift, I can't blame her. But it is quality and expensive  and wherever it ends up next, I hope that woman likes it.

Mark got a beard grooming kit (wash, soap, oil and balm). That was a more successful gift. He was happy to see it was lightly scented, and told me a funny story of using menthol shampoo on his beard and how the fragrance wafted up and cleared his sinuses for the day.

I got a bath set. Orange scented bath bomb, body lotion and foot lotion. Emery board for exfoliation. She knows I love this stuff. 

Then we got on the subject of marriage. We arrived there because of a cousin who recently had a baby without the benefit of wedlock. I said I didn't get. Her baby daddy's name is on the lease and the birth certificate so it's not like he can just cut out. Why not get married? Mark explained that, "to our generation," it's not about the love or commitment but the celebration of the love and commitment. And until they can afford to celebrate it in style, they don't want to do it. So, I guess, there are no late night trips to Vegas and an Elvis impersonator in their future. And, to my relief, no wedding in mine.

My only regret about the afternoon is that I didn't take any photos! It was my first Christmas celebration of the year, it was lovely, but I have no pix.

*Though it must be said that she seemed to love Michael and Jason, his predecessors, very much, too. I think she wants badly to be in a relationship.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: I'm Gonna Put Some Glue 'Round the Christmas Tree (So Santa Will Stick Around All Year) (1954)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's featured songstress, Peggy King, sings that she'd like to extend the Christmas season all year. How about you? Do you wish the season was longer? Shorter? Or do you think things are fine as they are? "Peace on Earth, and mercy mild. God and sinner reconciled." What's not to love? I wish the spirit of the season lasted longer, like forever.

2) She specifically mentions toys. Have you purchased/will you purchase any toys as holiday gifts this year? I don't have any little ones on my holiday list anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't give toys. I encourage everyone to make like Doris Day and make Christmas merrier for kids in need. You'll find that imagining some child getting your gift is a great moodlifter!

 

Click here for more about Toys for Tots

3) Search for "glue" on The Home Depot's website and you'll get more than 3,000 results. There's heavy-duty adhesives, all-purpose glue, clear epoxy, wood glue, and more. Do you currently have glue in your home? If yes, how many kinds? Three. I have plain old Elmer's, Titebond Wood Glue and then some Gorilla Glue.

4) What's the last thing you used glue for? I don't remember, but I have to use the wood glue again to stick that ornamental thing back on my bedframe. And damn, I'm gonna do that this weekend. Honest, I am.

5) This week's featured artist, Peggy King, was a TV staple in the 1950s. With her perpetually upbeat persona, she was known as "Pretty, Perky Peggy King." Do you consider yourself upbeat, aka "perky?" God help me, I've been told I am. I had lunch with a client on Wednesday who referred to me as "effervescent and enthusiastic." It's funny how one person's "effervescent and enthusiastic" is another person's "loud and pushy."
 
6) Ms. King got her start singing radio jingles for Hunt's tomato sauce. Prepared tomato sauce, properly stored, can safely be kept in the refrigerator for days. Do you have any leftovers in your refrigerator right now? Yeah. I have a teeny tiny piece of salmon that I really should toss.

7) Her biggest movie role was in Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955). Do you watch scary movies and shows all year around? Only at Halloween? Or not at all? I'm usually up for some good Hitchcock, but other than that, I really don't do horror.

8) In 1954, the year this record was released, President Eisenhower dedicated the Marine Corps. Iwo Jima Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery, just outside of Washington DC. If you were to play tourist in our nation's capital, what site would you be certain to visit?

Isn't he just something?

 
9) Random question: Which of these common household items would you miss most if it suddenly went on the fritz -- your bedside lamp or your hair dryer? Hair dryer.