Wednesday, August 04, 2021

He's leaving me

I stumbled upon this photo, taken not that long ago, of Connie and Reynaldo sleeping in front of the living room window and realized he no longer cares about looking outside. It no longer interests him.

Now it could be because the neighbors pruned their big tree way back and Reynaldo no longer has squirrels to scout. Or it could be because his vision is now so bad the window is just not relevant to him.

He also doesn't sleep with me anymore. He used to haunt the foot of my bed. I can't remember the last time I woke up to find him there.

I spent some time in the den on Tuesday, vacuuming and setting up plant stands. I keep the den door closed, so when I came out I expected to see his bright and curious face, demanding to know what I'd been up to in that most mysterious room. He wasn't waiting for me when I emerged because he didn't care.

He crashed my Zoom movie group on Monday night, amusing everyone when what looked like a disembodied tail repeatedly swished by the camera. But I can't recall the last time he made an appearance in a work Zoom.

He doesn't play with Connie anymore. They used to chase one another up and down the hall. He's uninterested.

His June bloodwork came back and his thyroid and other vitals appear good. However in addition to cloudy vision he has arthritis and two chronic-but-controlled conditions (thyroid and kidney) and now a heart murmur. Maybe this is the just what the end stage of his life is like.

My wild man, my skinny beige demon, is 17 years old. 84 in human years. He is dying.

I'm sitting here, pre-dawn, trying to figure out what to do. Do I want to discuss this again with the vet? Are there things I can do to improve his quality of life? 

I thought I was ready for this. I'm not.


 


3 comments:

  1. Although the end of life is very sad, Rey has had an enviable life with you.

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  2. You've given him a good life. That's all any animal can ask. You've done good, Gal.

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  3. I am so sorry, Gal. We went through this with Mandy. Rey does care about you, he is just tired. This breaks my heart for you. I will be praying you have peace and maybe there is something the vet can help you with. ♥

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