Thursday, April 19, 2018

April Challenge -- Day 19

Learn more

Five fears that you have:

1) Losing my job and being unable to find another one. This one literally keeps me up at night. Ten years ago, it never occurred to me that I couldn't use my connections to get work in my industry, in my town. But "my connections" are retiring ... or out of work themselves. Gulp!

2) That I will outlive my money. (See #1.)

3)  That I will be ill and vulnerable. I don't feel I have people I can dependably turn to, nearby, to take care of me if something bad happens. Kathleen is always traveling, on work or otherwise. John hates, loathes, despises and abominates cats. Barb is preparing to move to Hilton Head. Henry, my aunt and my cousin all would, but they are in Florida.

4) That I will go down The Stoney End. I used to really, really battle depression, and when I was in its throes it felt like this Barbra Streisand song:

"Never mind the forecast cause the sky has lost control,
cause the fury and broken thunder's come to match my raging soul,
now I don't believe I want to see the morning.
Going down the Stoney End, I never wanted to go down the Stoney End.
Mama, let me start all over. Cradle me, mama, cradle me."


Years of therapy have taught me what to say to myself when I feel it encroaching. I need to slow down, step back, breathe deep, and recognize it. Isolate the cause. Then deal with it, before my soul rages. That's when I make really bad decisions.

5) That I will be in a plane crash. It isn't dying that worries me, it's the horror of those last seconds. The descent, people screaming ... I can't even look at coverage of the Southwest crash because it's my nightmare brought to life.

"Gee, this was fun!" The Gal said sarcastically. Maybe next time, before I accept one of these challenges, I should read the questions beforehand. Some of these prompts have been downers.

 

If you're interested in seeing the April Challenge prompts and joining in, click here.

No comments:

Post a Comment