What's a friend to do?

I have a close friend who has been dear to me from the moment we met in 1992. We couldn't be more different. He's male, I'm female. He's gay and I'm straight. He's been in a serious relationship for decades, and my commitment/compromise issues are legendary. He's Puerto Rican, I'm German-Irish. And yet somehow, almost immediately upon meeting, we connected. As he likes to say, "We're family."

He moved down to South Florida ten years ago, and every year he welcomes me as his guest for New Year's. I write to him weekly. We work hard to stay relevant in one another's lives.

Which is why I'm so upset this morning. His last note to me (received yesterday) is almost incoherent. I suspect he was loaded when he sat down to put pen to paper.

I was surprised and saddened by how much he drank while I visited him over the holidays. One day he had four glasses of wine BEFORE dinner. One he sipped while he was getting dressed. Then, of course, he had his Campari with dinner and another glass of wine with dessert. Six drinks in about nine hours. And he did stupid things -- like forever forgetting where he left his bike. Make that "bikes." He had two in the parking lot of the motel where I was staying, and his lover had to come by with the car to get the bikes home. The booze also made him a bit argumentative. (We actually almost had an argument over -- I'm not kidding about this -- whether or not Natalie Wood was a schizophrenic.)

Because I love him so, and usually enjoy him so, I felt it was important to mention my concerns to him. Maybe there was an underlying work stress, or a problem in his romantic relationship that I wasn't privy to. No, he said. He was simply indulging more during my visit because it was his holiday, too, and this is what one does on holiday. I didn't want to argue, I wanted to enjoy the rest of my visit, so I let it go. And I saw no reason to bring it up again.

Until I got the note yesterday.

Should I mention it? Should I send the note back to him so he can see how silly and difficult he is when he drinks? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?

The latter, I guess. People don't stop drinking because their friends recommend that course of action; they stop drinking because they are ready to stop drinking.

Butmy silence doesn't mean I don't care. I care enormously. This is breaking my heart.