These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
The "I love Elvis" edition. The older I get, the more I appreciate The King. When I was a kid, I thought he was a joke. I dismissed him as an irrelevant, overweight man who would bump and grind like a stripper to the delight of his aging audience.
I was an ass.
I realize now he was an artist, an icon and a cultural force. He was also high camp and an American tragedy.
The inspiration for this post was my friend Patty, who told me her favorite summer memory was a family road trip to St. Louis when she was 10. Elvis had just died, and the clear channel AM radio station ("WLS, The Big 89") played all Elvis/all the time in tribute. The windows were rolled down and her parents were singing along. She and her older brother knew a few songs well enough to join in.
So this week, as we observe the 48th anniversary of his death, I give you the 13 most enduringly popular Elvis songs.*
1. Can't Help Falling in Love (1961)
2. Jailhouse Rock (1957)
3. Hound Dog (1956)
4. Don't Be Cruel (1956)
5. Heartbreak Hotel (1956)
6. Love Me Tender (1956)
7. Are You Lonesome Tonight? (1960)
8. Return to Sender (1962)
9. Suspicious Minds (1969)
10. In the Ghetto (1969)
11. Burning Love (1972)
12. How Great Thou Art (1967)
13. You're the Devil in Disguise (1963)
*As compiled by Forbes. My favorite, "Kentucky Rain," isn't here. I love his voice and the way he interprets the lyrics, which could be maudlin, but aren't in his hands.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
Today's happiness: Supporting small businesses. Target, Walgreens and Whole Foods. Those are the three stores where I spend most of my time and my money. They have everything I need and, luckily, they are nearby. When it's 90º day after day after day, having them right here has been a godsend.
But I've felt bad that I haven't been supporting the independent businesses that give my community its personality. So late this afternoon, when the mercury finally dipped a bit, I hauled ass to the other side of town. About a mile from me is a mom'n'pop grocery with a great deli counter (hello, potato salad!) and canned vegetables on sale for 88¢ (corn for the food pantry). On the other side of the street is an ice cream parlor that employs a ton of students over the summer. I was happy to not only order a root beer float but to tip big because these kids are so adorable and will need the money when they go back to college next week.
The weather, the connection to my community, those sweet kids ... It all made me happy.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
That's what my shrink tells me. She went to doctor school and has never lied to me before, so I trust her.
But it really doesn't help me all that much in the moment.
Here's the thing: Everyone who doesn't have fur annoys me. Elaine is humorless. Betty is vain. Nancy is whiny. Joanna is pretentious. Considering that these are myfriends, I know the problem is me and not them. I'm afraid that I'm morphing into my father, a joyless man who was angry all the time.
No, she said. I haven't permanently soured on life. I'm just grieving. I miss John and Henry.
But it's been a year! I got through birthdays and Christmas and New Year's without them. I don't cry in the shower anymore. I am able to remember the good times with them before the bad. Doesn't that mean I've healed?
No, she said. It means I'm healing.
When I'm alone with my cats, I'm fine. It's when I'm around people – usually women I actually like very much – that things go south. I get grumpy and annoyed. I know my reaction is disproportionate, so I have to rein myself in. (I mean, last Monday I nearly stuck my tongue out at Betty!) Masking my feelings leaves me exhausted on top of being irritated. Makes me want to just stay home and commune with the critters.
"These women remind you that you're lonely," she said. At first I didn't get it. After all, I'm not lonely when I'm alone.
But it makes sense. I want these (comparatively) new relationships to replace the decades-long friendships I lost last year. They don't. They can't. And so I ache.
I have to maintain my commitment to socialize. Tempting as it is to stay home and cuddle the cats, it's not good for me to be alone that much. I can get too deep inside my own head and that's just not healthy.
I didn't expect the grief to be so tenacious. I lost my mom more than a decade ago and that was shocking and painful, but the grief didn't cling to me like losing Henry and John has.
Shouldn't I be fucking over it by now?
There's no timeline to this, so I'm told. I have to take good care of myself, make sure I don't isolate too much. Drink water. Do my stretches. Keep my doctor's appointments. Find the joy that awaits me every day.
WWW.
WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To
participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS
I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog
won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the
frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading?Contents Under Pressure by Edna Buchanan. Our narrator is Britt Montero, a reporter on the crime beat of a major Miami newspaper. In the course of doing her job, she finds herself at the center of a big story with major ramifications – a retired football player dies after a run-in with the police. The athlete was black, the cops were white and Cuban. No matter where the story takes her, someone will be pissed. But Britt is a pro and doesn't let the danger deter her.
This book was published in 1992 and it shows. No one has a cell and Britt relies on the phone book. She also believes that being a reporter for an established daily gives her power – after all, she reasons, that paper will land on everyone's porch tomorrow and everybody will read it, no matter what. On the other hand, the big city racial tensions are, unfortunately, timeless.
2. What did you recently finish reading?Dark City Dames: The Women Who Defined Film Noir by Eddie Muller. Profiles of six influential femme fatales. Note I said "influential," which is not the same as famous or successful. None of these six ever became a household name. That's what I appreciated most about this book.
These women worked regularly in Hollywood through the 1940s and 1950s. They supported themselves appearing in the best films they could find. It was not always artistically satisfying – they were never offered the parts that went to Lana Turner, Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. But they paid for the rent and groceries, went to awesome parties, played small parts in movies with A-list stars (Tyrone Power, Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglas), big parts in cheap "B" movies, and, for the most part, enjoyed themselves. Then they aged out and parts quit coming. They each found something else to do with their lives (Eddie found one clerking at an LA law firm, where most people had no idea she'd lured men to crime and bloody death onscreen).
Last year I read Streisand's memoir. These six women represent the flip side of the coin. Not wealthy, revered superstars. But they created movie magic all the same and, like Babs, they're survivors.
Today's happiness: Commonwealth Edison. Today was wild weather day. 90º (again) and windy with sudden, violent storms. It's also the day I paid my electric bill, so I'm taking a moment to express my gratitude that I haven't experienced a single outage this awful summer. It's no exaggeration to say that I am legit very happy every time I hit the "ON" button and that air conditioner comes through for me.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: Too Good to Go. This app reduces wasted food. I use it to find nearby restaurants and stores that offer "surprise bags" filled with food at or near expiration, sold at deeply discounted prices. Today I got a bag of donuts, long johns and crullers. While wasting food makes me sad, bakery makes me happy. So does saving money.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: Whiter whites. I did an extra load of laundry today and bleached my whites. As I folded my ankle socks and undies, I nearly went snow blind.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
D. Dogs None. I would have a dog if I could, especially now that I'm mostly retired. But only service and emotional support dogs are allowed in this building.
E. Essential start to your day Stretching
F. Favorite color Pantone 294 (aka Cubbie blue)
G. Gold or silver Silver
H. Hand you favor (righty or lefty) Righty
I. Instruments you play None
J. Job title Part-time sales associate
K. Kids None
L. Live (rural, suburb, city) Suburb
M. Meal plans None yet
N. Nicknames I only have one. I bestow them liberally, though.
O. Overnight hospital stays Two. Overnight in 2004, three nights in 2011.
P. Pet peeves Right now I'm most annoyed with myself. I go over texts from my oldest friend – she has health/emotional problems – as though they were frames of the Zapruder film and maybe I'll find the solution to her problems. Of course I won't. She lives far away on the West Coast and never listens to me, anyway. I need to do what I can and then let it go.
Q. Quote from a movie "Signor Ravelli's first song will be 'Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping' with an all male chorus." Animal Crackers
R. Regrets I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
S. Siblings Two sisters
U. Underwear Right now I'm wearing a bra and undies
V. Vegetable you love Peas
W. What makes you run late Bone-deep laziness
X. X-rays you’ve had Teeth, back, abdomen (lots of my abdomen)
Y. Yummy food Carbs. Breads and potatoes, especially
Today's happiness: Henry's "casserole," baseball and a caturday cuddle. Today, like yesterday, was a quiet day filled with little jolts of joy.
1. I ordered a deep dish cheese and sausage pizza from Lou Malnati's. It reminded me of my late, dear friend Henry. Born and raised in Puerto Rico, deep dish Chicago-style pizza genuinely confused him. "How is this pizza and not a casserole?" he would ask. I miss Henry so much, but remembering his unique way of looking at everyday life makes me happy. I was lucky to have him in my life for 30+ years.
2. The Cubs really haven't been that good since the All Star Break. But tonight, they were very good, beating St. Louis 9-1. If you're not a baseball fan, you might not get how important that is. The Cubs and Cardinals are one of the game's oldest and most ferocious rivalries. It not only makes me happy that my guys finally got hot again, I'm happy that it happened in St. Louis.
3. My Connie Cat watched the game with me, luxuriating in scritches under her chin and belly rubs. The affection that flowed between us was sweet.
So of course I'm happy.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
This month we're going to recall Summer Songs. These will all be records that topped the charts during August.
1)
Number 1 on the charts in August 40 years ago, the lyrics to "Shout"
encourage us to "let it all out." When is the last time you raised your
voice? I raise my voice all the time while watching baseball. Like the old song says, I cheer and boo and raise a hullabaloo.
2) This week's featured artists, Tears for Fears, were a duo
-- Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith -- who met as teenagers in Bath, the
largest city in Somerset, England. Bath has been named one
of The Great Spa Towns of Europe. Popular spa treatments include
massages, facials, body scrubs and wraps, mineral baths, manicures and
pedicures. If you could treat yourself to a spa treatment today, which
would you choose? My pedicure is looking a little rough. But oh, a massage would feel good, too!
3)
When they first met, one of the things Roland and Curt bonded over was
that they were both raised by single mothers. Who was your best friend
during your teen years? What did you two bond over? That was Judy. We were moody, sensitive, artistic nerds. I wanted to be a writer and she wanted to paint. I'm proud to say we both did pretty well in our respective fields.
4)
Curt's wife, Frances Pennington, has had a long career in marketing,
beginning in the record business and transitioning to fashion. Which
industry do you think you'd enjoy more -- music or fashion? Fashion, I think. Imagine the beautiful freebies and samples!
5)
Roland married his childhood sweetheart, Caroline Johnston. They were
together for 35 years, until her death. Do you know whatever became of
your childhood sweetheart? When I was in Kindergarten, I wanted to marry our next door neighbor's son, Billy, who had shiny black hair and always wore black t-shirts. He came over on weekends to visit his parents and would often wash his car in their driveway. He let me sponge the hubcaps and told me I did such a good job he wished he could marry me. LIAR! He married a hair-sprayed bitch named Sandy and my mean parents actually dragged me along to the wedding! To her dying day, my mom loved telling the story of how I pouted all day and complained about losing the man I referred to as, "my husband."
Let's look at the summer of 1985.
6) That summer, Chicago teenager Balu Natarajan won the National Spelling Bee. Are you a good speller? Most of the time. Spell check has to rescue me on the word "occasion." I stubbornly add a second "s."
7)
Tinker Bell took her first nightly flight at Walt Disney World in
Florida. Do you recall which Disney movie introduced us to Tinker Bell? Peter Pan.
8) Derek Hough was a baby in the summer of 1985. In 2007 he became a regular on Dancing with the Stars, acclaimed for his ballroom dancing. Are you good on the dance floor? Not in the least.
9)
In 1985, Michael J. Fox became the first actor to have the #1 movie at
the box office and the #1 TV show in the ratings. The movie was Back to the Future and the TV show was Family Ties. Have you seen the movie? Were you a fan of the show? I know people loved the Back to the Future franchise, but I only saw the first one. I did enjoy spending time with the Keaton family.
Today's happiness: Lots of happy! Let's see now ...
1. Preliminary results from Tuesday's tests appeared in MyChart today. My specialist hasn't reviewed or weighed in yet, but from what I can tell, not much is different this year from last year – and he said last year that we didn't need to take any action. I'm feeling good about this and I'm not worried about him recommending anything drastic.
2. Today is Anthony Rizzo's birthday, and the GloryDaze podcast dropped their Rizzo episode today. An hour of Anthony looking good and sounding happy. No one deserves it more. (Happy 36th birthday to my forever Captain!)
3. I watched this week's movie group film: The Blue Dahlia (1946). I enjoyed it! This is noteworthy because last week's movie was kind of a dud. Best of all, I was delighted to see Hugh Beaumont – Beaver Cleaver's dad – in a supporting role. He was smart and honest but also streetwise. It was kind of like seeing what Ward was like before he married June.
4. I knocked off one book and started another. No reflection on Dark City Dames. I've been enjoying it. But I got Contents Under Pressure from the library and it was calling out to me.
With so much glory, no wonder I'm happy.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: Chinese food. I worked two consecutive days this week. It's not unusual for me to work two shifts in a week, but usually they are days apart. I admit that consecutive afternoons in that card shop with no a/c was a bit much. I just could not bear the thought of going home and cooking. And so I treated myself to Chinese carryout: shrimp fried rice and vegetable egg rolls. I curled up on the couch with a plate on my lap and I was the happiest I'd been all day.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: Accomplishment. It was uncomfortable at the card shop today because the a/c is busted. When I got home, all I wanted to do was veg out. Not only was I worn out from work, but it was Judy Garland Day on TCM Summer Under the Stars!
But at about 9:00 tonight, I looked over my evening and instead of feeling relaxing, it felt like an opportunity wasted. So I got off my fat ass and took some Dawn dishwashing liquid into the bathroom. Using a toothbrush reserved solely for this purpose, I cleaned the caulk around the tub. Then I soaked my bathtub drain stopper.
Even though it only took about 20 minutes, I'm happy that I overcame my lazy tendency and did something. Feels good.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: Kindness, and a nap. Today I had a retroperitoneal ultrasound, which is a fancy way of saying a tech slathered gel just under my belly button and checked my kidney and bladder to compare this year to last year and see if anything changed. The test itself is non-invasive and really, no big deal. It was the prep that made me nuts. For the test to be useful, I had to have a full bladder and was told to drink 30 ounces of water an hour before the test. I was required to check in 30 minutes before the appointment. So I left my home at 10:00 and chugged water all the way over to check in at 10:25 for an 11:00 ultrasound. To say I was uncomfortable would be an understatement.
At 10:30, an imaging tech came out and welcomed a walk-in ahead of me. I suppose I get it. My appointment was scheduled for 11:00. Maybe another patient was in the room they intended for me. But DAMN! As per direction, my bladder was full.
I went over to the lovely young woman who checked me in and explained my predicament. I told her I really, really had to go to the bathroom and asked her if there was a drinking fountain where I could refill my water bottle and resume chugging. She was so sweet and said she understood completely. She sent a message to the imaging center, asking if they couldn't take me earlier. If they couldn't, she promised me I could relieve myself and she'd get me a bottle of water "somehow."
A tech came out and, as we walked back to the room, asked me all those questions (like date of birth) so I could just immediately climb into the table and we could get started. She worked fast, and then let me go to the bathroom. Then she completed her imaging, because she needed to get pictures of me when the needle is on E, as well.
Thanks to the kindness of these strangers, I was out of there at 11:00. YAY!
To call this stressful would be an understatement. Then I went to Walgreens and discovered that they had messed up my (completely unrelated) prescription. By the time I got home at noon, I was exhausted. When the going gets tough, the tough go to sleep. I gave myself the gift of a two hour nap and when I woke up, I felt like a new gal. All that's left of this agita is the hospital bracelet on my right wrist.
So I'm happy the two women at the hospital were so kind to me, and that I was kind to myself.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: PHEW! I was upset today, and then I wasn't.
• First, I called bank-by-phone and found I was (gulp!) about $1,000 short in my checking account. OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod! Because the money I have now really has to last me the rest of my life, I try to keep track of every penny. It is soooo not like me to "misplace" $1,000! I logged into my online banking and discovered the money was indeed there, just not where I wanted it. Instead of moving money from savings to checking, I had transferred it from checking to savings. (On two separate occasions. I'm an idiot.) All I had to do was move it back. PHEW!
• Then there's my favorite Elvis nightshirt. It's an oversized t-shirt with a picture of The Lisa Marie (his plane) and the words: FLY LIKE THE KING. I love this souvenir from my 2016 trip to Graceland because I just do, that's all. I was quite concerned when dribbled ketchup on it. Fortunately, after double pre-treating (first with shampoo, then with OxyClean) and washing it in warm, not cold, the stain is little more than a faded pink shadow. PHEW!
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
Today's happiness: I treated myself and I'm still on budget. I've spent an awful lot of money lately and am trying to reverse the trend. I had $35 in my wallet this morning. Instead of just popping over to Target for the incidentals left on my shopping list, I took advantage of the not-too-hot day and walked a half mile to Dollar Tree. To celebrate my frugality, on the way home I picked up a small order of rib tips (small side of potato salad included in the $9.95 price). Even after shopping and lunch, I've still got $6 in cash! I'm not only happy and satiated, I feel downright virtuous.
Happy August Happiness Challenge!
Each
day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy.
Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't
want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are
positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.
1. When are you at your blogging best – a.m. or p.m.? I am at my blogging best when I feel like blogging. The impulse hits me at different times.
2. How many blogs do you have? Please include the links in your answer. In addition to this blog, I am part of the massive team that helps Crazy Sam with Saturday 9 and Sunday Stealing.
3. Do you prefer silence when you compose your posts and write your comments? No. I have tinnitus, and when there's silence I'm distracted by the whooshing. It sounds like I'm forever holding a seashell to my ear. I don't notice it at all if there's the TV or music on.
4. What's the grossest thing you've ever spilled on your keyboard? Let's see, it wasn't gross and, technically speaking, I'm not the one who spilled it. Years ago – I believe the statute of limitations has expired – my cat Reynaldo was jealous of the time I was spending on my work laptop and spilled a nearby margarita. I thought I got most of it before it reached the computer. I was wrong about that. About 12 hours later, when I was back at the office, it started to crap out. IT replaced it with no questions asked, which obviously made me happy.
5. Ever posted while intoxicated? Posted on my blog? No. Which is not to say I've never written under the influence. I was in advertising for 43 years. At my last job, we had a beer keg in the kitchen (our biggest client, a beer company, sent a new one regularly) and wine was served every day at 4:00. I had a bottle of vodka in my bottom desk drawer at all times and, well, there was the aforementioned margarita incident. But no, I have never posted to this blog while intoxicated.
Now that I'm no longer in advertising, I realize this is not de rigeur in other work settings. For example, we don't pound 'em back at the card shop. But watch Mad Men. It's just how it is. It's hard to come up with creative concepts on demand and work with a team to deliver them to a timeline. And once I agreed to a deadline, I never missed it. (I've been retired since 10/22 and almost three years later, I still have nightmares about the stress of that job.)
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