Today I went to the chiropractor's office for a therapeutic massage. Monday I'll be back for an adjustment. Because of my spinal stenosis, my gait is "off" and it's causing strain on the muscles that run from the back of my left knee down to my ankle. It hurts like mad when I get up after sitting and stairs are difficult. But my chiropractor is going to make me better. I insist on it.
Which brings me back to John. He had so much wrong over the last five years or so. He had congestive heart failure and diabetes. He needed a cane to walk, he was short of breath, and suffered from anxiety. Yet he didn't even have a primary care physician. He behaved as though if a doctor didn't specifically tell him something was wrong, it wasn't wrong.
Because I'm hurting, I'm struggling to understand why it happened. Why he had to leave me. The best I can come up with is that the way he lived and died should be a lesson to those of us who loved him.
I'm not going to let my world get smaller and smaller, as John's had. I'm not going to just accept that discomfort is part of growing older. I have Medicare and supplemental insurance and I'm using them to full advantage.
John and I enjoyed so much together over our 43 years of friendship. Now I have to figure out how to go on without him. If I can help it, it won't be with a cane.
Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
Oh, Gal. Know that you are loved.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. You have a lot of readers out here learning from your wisdom.
ReplyDelete